Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
DAGNABBIT!
Erhmaghrrd
Peypey gonna get his n
Yup, Von Miller just got hisself an MVP, ah reckon.
I hate the world…
VON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, Von Miller for MVP?
Looking like
CAMDERP! Von Miller MVP.
Wow…
COME ON CAM DON’T VALIDATE SHITHEADS LIKE BRIAN ANDERSON
fuck
This only validates that Von Miller is a God
How do you draw the line between a really good defensive performance and a really bad offensive performance?
Von:Cam::Darkseid:Supeeman
At least my pie was delicious. COME ON, GIVE ME ONE MORE GOOD FOOTBALL PLAY!
Is your pie both warm and moist?
Hehe, my awesome former coworker doesn’t like Carolina cause they pick up old Bears players and make them less sucky.
Dunno if it’s an omen but my (mostly) black cat just walked in the room and started talking. She knows something’s up.
This game actually has me looking forward to loading the clothes dryer.
I like that Denver tied an older Denver Super Bowl record for sucking on offense
PUT IT IN THE HANDS OF YOUR DEFENSE?!
This some good ESE-EEE-CEE Fawtball, Pawl
Well, that’s a statement of intent.
Jesus Denver, you’re only up by 6 you know
Wow. Running on 3rd and 9 there. What am I even watching?
What is “Why Gary Kubiak Got Fired In Houston”?
“Put up a fight to get every inch” perfectly describes my sex life.
Are you my wife?
Tell her #nomore saying #nomore.
Stupid donkeys are stupid
Gary Kubiak is going to give me a mini-stroke.
Me too. But I think he’s right.
Wow…those stats.
That shitheap of a performance and still within one score.
Wow.
Peyton Pick Six? Seems about the right time…
I did call that happening.
Kubes won’t let him throw it again – the offence now exists solely to run the balls three times before they punt and let the D hold the Panthers
This is getting fucking tense now.
Definitely entering the pucker zone.
Not for me; I’m so hammered Helen Mirren would call me a cunt if I went near a car!
So what are some things people would like to see in the offseason?
Definition on what a catch is.
Ginger Hammer’s head on a plate.
August
Brady indictment.
Peyton Manning get busted for HGH.
God the chaos.
My ex naked
An extreme streamlining of the rulebook. It’s gone past blackwatch plaid.
Listen, Helen Miren, I don’t take advice from fucking anyone who drinks Budweiser. Now give my fucking keys while I take a few shots for the road and tear out of here like a badass motherfucker! WHOOO!!!!!!!!
BOSS TODD STYLE MUTHAFUCKERS
For half a second there I thought Helen Mirren was going to let fly with “cunt”, in which case I’dve purchased a case of Bud out of sheer glee.
Let’s not go too far.
I would have gone with “tosspot,” but “pillock” works too, Helen Mirren.
Pillock is one of my favorites
“Berkshire hunt” is my favorite. Or “berk” for short.
C U Next Tuesday
THAT MADE NO SENSE ON SO MANY LEVELS
Watch Helen Mirren get busted for twice the limit next weekend.
I hope someone goes on IMDB and picks out all her costars and directors who have been pegged for DUI.
She should have just said cunt there.
Take the fine. Live forever in advertising history
Dont be a Pillock
People who drive like assholes while sober though, they’re totally okay.
http://www.web2carz.com/images/articles/201503/old_man_middle_finger_1427296880_615x384.jpg
No matter how much of a drunk I was I never drove that way.
Attacking drunk drivers? Why is Budweiser attacking their main customer base?
The real MVPs of this game are the punters
THERE!!!! That’s how you take the hit to get the yards.
If I paid good money to attend this game, I’d seriously consider finding the manager to demand a refund.
And a voucher for free popcorn next year.
Gonna miss you, Beef Moe.
This is an absolute shitpile of a game.
“Corey Brown is out for the rest of the game with a concussion.”
“Pussy”-last year’s true Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman
“I like Oreos!”-Trent Green.
What are these silver squares on the bottom of the backs of DENs jerseys?
USB ports?
People who name their kid Sylvester are not risk-averse.
3rd and long. Repeat until you die .
Jerry Richardson won’t admit it publicly, but he appreciates seeing white old Wade Phillips really whipping that smile off of Cam.
“Who says I won’t admit that publicly?”
– Jerry Richardson
If Ginn somehow makes the game winning catch it will prove Satan is real.
The collective play of these offensive lines…I just can’t even…
A sight to behold.
….. it’s offensive?