Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
So…did that guy have a threesome with a dog and a monkey?
WHY IS THERE MORE PUPPYMONKEYBABY OH GOD MAKE IT STOP
So see you guys for the NFL Draft, Sunday Game Of Thrones recaps and NBA playoff/Finals games?
There’s a TON of DFO #content just waiting to be unleashed like Rex Grossman on unsuspecting cheerleaders! Stay here! Please!
I know (or at least think) you are from Texas so this will be a hard sell, but we could also try to trick you into liking hockey. The Stars are pretty good
Benn brothers!
Gents, we’ve acquitted ourselves well tonight, with over 2000 comments. Now we go into the long, dark time of the offseason. I’ll see you all in Week 1 of the 2016 season, when we get to see what corpse the Broncos wheel out at QB. My money is on Tim Tebow wearing a fake moustache.
Man, 2000 comments. Proud of everyone here. You guys are hands-down the best place to hang out on the entire internet. Cheers, all.
So…do you think Von Miller is Cam Newton’s Mom’s favorite player now?
This is a little oversold by the title but it’s still funny:
http://screengrabber.deadspin.com/german-announcers-lose-minds-for-the-broncos-touchdown-1757689007
I mean, everything in German sounds like it’s being yelled at you, so they were probably being quite calm.
Well, fuck this season, the Shield, shitty NFLPA-ing, the fans (oh god, THE FANS), and all the money that makes the NFL such a rotten operation.
See you all tomorrow so we can get back to ripping on shitty trade/draft decisions, racist reactions to Cam (looking at you, Peter King), and hating on the Patriots.
If he really was an 85 Bear, Rivera should’ve punched that kid in the stomach.
Did anyone say if Cam Newton was hurt? He seemed to be wincing when he threw the ball and he didn’t scramble in the 2nd half.
He’s just classless and gave up.
Good question. Didn’t notice the wincing but definitely didn’t scramble.
Ron Rivera is the man.
Yep. Stand-up dude of the highest order. He will certainly be back, and soon.
All mexicans should be as articulate as him.
Right now, there are Trump voters who agree with you.
Yay! SimSub finally ended. I have control of my tv back.
So, did you hear? The Broncos won the Super Bowl.
How’s Hippo? Is he okay?
YEP! Grinning like an idiot.
Guys, I really loved this result. That’s all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1i8dnAi3X4
2000!!!!!
Scotchy, I just want to say how much I appreciate you answering the bell on the liveblogs day after day with funny and interesting taeks. Great job this year, man.
Whatever.
Agreed, to #content!
http://cdns.gentlemansgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/The-Scotch-Whisky-Guide-900×314.jpg
And to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems!
Thanks.
THIS PEYTON MANNING, I CALL HIM MARCO RUBIO BECAUSE HE JUST REPEATS THE SAME CANNED SPEECH OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!!
And he can’t beat Hillary!
He was our last Republican hope!*
*Yes, I know those words don’t make sense in that order
I’m sure we’d all be applauding Cam talking TWICE about drinking a bunch of product-placement-booze if he’d have won.
God fucking damnit. He is gonna pull a Favre for the next 5 years isn’t he?
Only if he goes to NYJ and MIN.
“I’m gonna drink a lot of beer tonight, Budweiser, and then tomorrow morning I’m going to shit until my asshole bleeds itself dry, and then I’m going to drink a lot of Immodium AD!”
Jesus, if anything, Peyton would make a great NASCAR driver
THIS! I was totally going to say that.
Gon-na drink some Bud-weis-er.
So is Peyton going full Favre with the will he-won’t he retire?
Beginning to look that way.
So is Zombie Broncos Lady supposed to be the new Al Davis?
I would have liked Al Davis better if he wore bright lipstick.
Only if they move to Oakland in the offseason.
I can’t believe he left out Buick and that pizza guy.
In German, von [fɔn] is a preposition which approximately means of or from.
When it is used as a part of a German family name, von is usually a nobiliary particle and indicates a noble father’s lineage. Nobility directories like Almanach de Gotha often abbreviate noble von to v. In medieval or early modern names the von particle was also often part of commoners’ names; thus, “Hans von Duisburg” meant Hans from [the city of] Duisburg. This meaning is preserved in Swiss surnames or in the Dutch van, which is a cognate of von but does not indicate nobility.
-Wikipedia. The more you know.
IT’S A TRAPP!!!!
THAT IS THE EXACT SAME THING HE SAID BEFORE, WORD FOR WORD
Well, he’s a robot. What did you expect?
I’d like to thank all my fans Nationwide!
– PeyPey
I-Don’t-Know-If-I’ll-Re-tire.
~”Will I get the MVP?”~
Budweiser and Papa Johns for everyone!
At full price!!!!
CHICKEN FARMS FOR EVERYONE
HOLY SHIT THEY DID THEY RIGHT THING.
At least they got the MVP right.
Thank Christ. There is a God.
VON
Methinks there’s a luxury suite with a few empty sherry bottles lying on the floor.
I know its 2016, and I’m not supposed to make fun of how people look, but…
HOLY SHIT! WHAT IS THAT?! IS SHE HAVING A STROKE?!
Broad can afford a stroke.
How could you tell if she did?
The Winning team get ipads.Losers get Microsoft surfaces.
Congratulations to… line… the Denver Broncos
Woman you own the goddamn team. It’s not that hard!
Are there any likable NFL owners?
Jerry Jones is a blast to party with.
No
The Rooneys aren’t terrible, Jeff Laurie doesn’t seem completely awful.
I’ve never heard anyone criticize the Packers’ owner
Oh well done.
Didn’t want to be “that” Packer fan, but I could not resist
I do. Every. Day. In traffic, teaching their precious sprouts, when they call radio stations, you name it. Surrounded by owners. Don’t know how to vote for realsies, but damn if they don’t show up for the annual meeting.
Maybe Shad Khan?
NOW WHAT DO WE DO!?
Drink and catch up on hockey really quick?
AFL BEAT STARTS NEXT SUNDAY!
We Die
I love you for this
My roommate just told me she’s never seen any Bourne movie because she doesn’t like Matt Damon.
I don’t know how to react, because on one hand: the Bourne movies are pretty decent. On the other hand:
I’ve got a similar thing with Tom Cruise. Never seen any of the Mission Impossible movies.
So she won’t be seeing The Martian then either? Her loss
No, I made her watch it. She was not impressed by Matt Damon science-ing the shit outta stuff, but liked the movie overall.
Goodell seems happy as shit Brady is nowhere near the stage.
A mutual feeling
Annabelle wants to accept it.
Phrasing.
So I got pretty drunk, but not drunk to the point of it being almost unsafe. I am gonna have to remedy that in the postgame, which I guess is gonna be watching Colbert because there is nothing else on.
Goodell doesn’t know how to not be boo’d.
Fuck him.
Who the fuck is blonde plastic surgery disaster girl?
Too bad Pat Bowlen has no idea his team won the game.
Is it too early to thank the DFO overlords for starting all this and giving us a place to have this fun? Or is it redundant?
THIS ONE’S FOR APE
Herr Goodell is going to have that sound guy disappeared.
Christ that trophy is about to become a level 4 biohazard!