Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
yep, gonna need offense points after all.
No kids in the Super Bowl!
Talib took the Panthers and the points.
STEWART HAND JIVE DOWN!!!
nice
Wow, I can’t believe his head didn’t pop off.
Somewhere, PK is drafting the paperwork to have Aqib Talib arrested.
So that’s a one yard penalty already on first down
Woooo….Panthers get a whole yard closer.
Talib misunderstood the acronynm, is giving his all for Most Vituperative Prick
Wanda?
Fuck you, Talib
Kweli >> Aqib
Kuato >> Aqib
At least it’s a cheap facemask.
MOAR TALIB FRAG!
HAIL BLEERGH!
Panthers’ tablets probably are on teh blink or something.
Cam has adjusted quickly.
You could say that…
A defensive player mic’d up…
“UUHH…HMMPH..UHH….UUUUMMMPH…
That’s actually pretty impressive considering he was sprinting at the time.
Moar flags
Original super bowl party hosts canceled on us due to kid sickness. That’s bad.
Different friend having a cool party where “can I bring anything?” is met with “bourbon.” That’s good.
Except he lives where I have to drive to the party…
Only matters if you have to drive back.
That’s potassium benzoate.
How was that a first down considering he slid about a half-yard short?
PENALTIES FOR THE PENALTY THRONE
“Good point, Quicken Loans! It would be a great idea if it was really easy to get a mortgage!”
— no one after 2007
I got a mortgage recently. You need all sorts of documents and such, you probably shouldn’t keep personal financial information like that on your phone.
You wouldn’t download a mortgage
AH HA HA HA
Dad just stated Carolina beating C-Hox was a fluke, based on this game. Ugh.
The 2016 Acura NSX: Too expensive, two years too late.
I don’t get this razors are so expensive thing. A bag of disposables is only a few bucks where I come from.
The new NSX is nowhere near as sexy as the old one.
Another hot woman over 40 pic. I will pick a new theme for the second quarter, or not if I just don’t care enough to. Kate Beckensale
http://i.imgur.com/WLQQ9xX.gif
Welp, we are 1/4 of the way in.
HOW Y’ALL DOING?
Glad the halftime promos seem to have stopped finally
I’M A LITTLE STRESSED
Bordeaux. The ‘X’ makes it cool
Elysian’s The Immortal IPA. How about you ladies and gents?
Breckenridge Holidale. It’s good!
Speakeasy Prohibition Ale.
Hair of the Dog Michael
http://www.hdeagency.com/blog/wp-content/files/2015/10/2015-sex-panther-cans.png
WANT
I can ship it to you, if you want.
Fat Tire. For Pey.
Lagunitas IPA
This beer is disappearing waaaaay too fast.
It normally does.
Who is this Wd Hochuli wannabe?
Young Guns?
That’s nice work
Just checking in on Hippo’s priapism. How’s it hanging?
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/27/277e25b806943fc3502407bd2d7160940ec0adfa4ca39e707ef5c633ec5846c1.jpg
Focusing on respiration. Double digits at the half would be nice.
Standing on his head to take a piss as we speak.
HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT PEYTON IS OLD AND CAM IS NOT?
I heard one of them is “not white”…
Huzzah, special teams!
FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD
WHAT IS A FRAG ANYMORE?! ARE WE MADE IN BLEERGHS IMAGE OR THE RESULT OF EVOLUTION?!
I want Peyton to die on the field and Brocky to come in and lead the Broncos to a victory. Is that bad?
This needs to happen
Will the narrative still credit Peyton?
They would still give Peyton MVP.
It’s only bad because we’ll have to watch a terrible movie about it in ten years.
Great minds…etc, etc.
I smell a sports movie.
“We are Donks”
You couldn’t let him finish the game???
KUUUUUUHHHHHNNNNN
OH MY GOD IT’S DRAFT PICK DESTINY
So i’m heading to philly and then nyc can someone recommend me the best place for cheese steak and pizza?
Cheesesteaks: Tony Luke’s, John’s Roast Pork, or Jim’s Steaks.
Maryland Ave Sub Shop. Wilmington, DE. Cheese steaks actually in philly are shit. Gotta hit the outskirts.
Ehhhh, not really. But do avoid Geno’s and Pat’s at all costs.
FIE ON YOUR APOSTASY
Neither of those people are correct.
It’s Pat’s provolone wit or GTFO
SOMEONE fucked up their assignment.
yis
He just shot-putted that thing.
With Meth, nothing works stronger, better, or faster…for five minutes.
Got my first Canadian ad repeat. BOO!
Rexall or Terrence and Phillip’s new special?
Hyundai.
One of the scariest things about Lady Gaga is that she’s only 29, but looks like she’s in her late 40s after lots of plastic surgery.
Does she still have the penis, or did she get that taken care of?
And that she usually looks like an extra out of The Fifth Element
She’s probably had quite a bit of plastic surgery. She strikes as someone who is not happy with her looks.
Ohhhh fuck. See, and I thought Rashida Jones was like 29 earlier tonight. She turns 40 in a couple weeks. Man oh man.
That’s why you’ll never see me in a meat dress…probably.
I said she looked like the cover to Species.
Talib is still on the Pat’s payroll WAKE UP SHEEPLE