Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1.7K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

These announcers suck. First SB OT and they are treating it like Preseason Week 2

...

The Joe Buck effect.

Beerguyrob

Are they using this extra time to get Joe Buck a new cum bib?

Spur

Since New England won the toss, and the Falcons defense is pretty much non-existent at this point, I guess the Pats won the game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beastmode Ate My Baby

Oh, jeez, guys! I gotta go! I have a game to get to…

comment image

Gratliff

You had a good run, ‘Lanta, you fucking dolts.

The Maestro

I’m gonna pee my fucking pants.

Don T

You know those asshole announcers who say 16 points is a two possession game?
Fucking Pats man.

Redshirt

God, when I said I want a Super Bowl Overtime I DIDN’T MEAN THIS ONE!!!!!!!!

ThePirateSloth

There is no God.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

AND DONOVAN MCNABB IS ACTUALLY RIGHT NOW

entropy

You’ve waited years to make that joke.

Spur

Dion Lewis just blew a knee on a fake

Claymaker

Dion Lewis’ ACL is sacrificed to the meaningless run play gods.

...

Usually I enjoy historic events such as the first ever overtime Super Bowl but not this year.

Fuck this.

Duchess
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

Free kick field goal? FREE KICK FIELD GOAL!!!??? FREE KICK FIELD GOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

herodotus450

Well, fake victory formation resulting in an injury to one of your best players, so, yeah.

Recovery Whiskey

So Dan Quinn has now blown two 4th quarter multiple score SB leads to the Patriots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

As a Jew, I’ve never rooted harder against a Hail Mary

the Alpha and the Amoeba
makeitsnowondem

If the Pats take a fair catch kick and win here I’m never watching football again.

Redshirt

Fair Catch Kick

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Atlanta, you may now eat the whole bag.

ThePirateSloth

I was serious about that Allagash White and cyanide. Y’all ready?

Doktor Zymm

I don’t know, I feel like bitter almond would taste better in a stout

Spur

William Tecumseh Sherman was right about you Atlanta.

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/01/you-suck.gif

Shogun Marcus

Sonofabitch. Vegas is gonna cover ain’t it.

laserguru

Mother of fuck.
Then again OT is the only chance I had to cover the over.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

makeitsnowondem

Gratliff and I have discussed this matter and it’s Skip Bayless’s fault.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Seems legit

...

GODDAMN IT FUCK YOU SKIP AND YOUR RIDING OF JERRY JONES DICK

Claymaker

What the fuck was the hitch with no timeouts?

herodotus450

Falcons: Lets throw some underneath plays and hope to get some yards after the cathc
Lee Carvallo: I would suggest four “deep throws to Julio Jones, your best player”
Falcons: No, underneath throws.

Covalent Blonde

This next 11 seconds will end up with a net cost of ~6 years of my life.

Senor Weaselo

Between this and China I’ve racked up losing years of my life this… year.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Ta be fair, I did warn y’all not to count out Touchdown Tom

JustStopDude

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Shit! This is all my fault! I had a conversation earlier this week where we were wondering how they sold commercials for overtime and I said “But that won’t happen”

Sorry guys 🙁

Dunstan

WTF do you spike it there? Even Troy thinks it’s dumb

herodotus450
ThePirateSloth

No.

laserguru

Matt Ryan shouldn’t have worn the white pants.

...

The Cubs Twitter account is comparing this to the World Series.

THE PATRIOTS ARE NOT LOVEABLE UNDERDOGS AND FUCK THEM FOREVER.

Doktor Zymm

I mean…they do know that the Patriots have won multiple championships in the past hundred years or so, right?

Old School Zero

Why would you take it out of the end zone, there? Guh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

IDIOTS

Romonobyl

Now I know how the DNC felt last November.

entropy

Well, looks like that investment in canned goods and shotgun shells will be going to waste…. not the shotgun shells, mind you.

ThePirateSloth

That’s it birds. Every single one of you (except penguins, you guys are fucking awesome) I hate you.

Spur

I hate football. Is the Spurs game on?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I don’t watch much basketball, but I do like watching Popovich’s interviews

Romonobyl

Not tonight I’m afraid.

1 17 18 19 20 21 23