It’s seven days until the Draft.
NFL News:
- Season schedules are scheduled for release at 8:00PM ET today.
- Chargers – Broncos is rumoured to be the late-Monday Night game.
- On the QB unemployment line:
- TIME has named Colin Kaepernick one of its 100 Influential People of 2017, despite him being interesting in 2016.
- his blurb was written by Jim Harbaugh, because Chip Kelly probably found out Kaep’s not Hawaiian, and Jim Tomsula was late because the 8:37 from Topeka was delayed.
- Ryan Fitzpatrick is excited for his “next opportunity”, wherever that is.
- Jay Cutler is still on vacation.
- future member Kirk Cousins wants to be wanted. He also doesn’t want to be franchise tagged anymore.
- TIME has named Colin Kaepernick one of its 100 Influential People of 2017, despite him being interesting in 2016.
- On the active QB front, Eli Manning’s denying fraud allegations in a case over memorabilia.
- an email in question shows Eli asking the Giants’ equipment manager for “two helmets that can pass as game used.”
- the plaintiffs allege it means the gear wasn’t game-worn
- Eli contends he was asking for game-day equipment that looked worn.
- an email in question shows Eli asking the Giants’ equipment manager for “two helmets that can pass as game used.”
- Sean Payton provided a victim-impact statement at the sentencing hearing for Cardell Hayes, the guy who shot former Saint Will Smith last year in a road-rage incident.
- Payton talked about how Smith was going to join his staff in 2016, and about his rare qualities as a human being.
- Hayes faces 60 years in jail for manslaughter & weapons charges.
- Bills offensive tackle Cyrus Kouandjio might have discovered bath salts, or an undiagnosed menatl condition may have surfaced.
Canada 150:
On this day we remember to smoke weed for Hitler, other things also happened.
April 20, 1989 – much to the chagrin of its strippers and waiters, Canada printed its last $1 bills.
We have the loonie now. Don’t toss them at the dancers.
April 20, 1968 – Pierre Elliott Trudeau succeeds Lester B. Pearson as the 15th Prime Minister of Canada.
Pierre replaced the resigning Lester Pearson as both Liberal leader and Prime Minister, who seemed happier than a pig in shit to be leaving.
Two months later, Pierre would ride a wave of “Trudeaumania” to a majority government, something that had eluded the milquetoast Pearson his entire tenure.
Trudeau would be Prime Minister, with only minor interruption, from 1968-84. During the course of his tenure, he withstood the FLQ, patriated the Constitution & created the Charter of Rights, and also managed to fuck both Barbra Streisand and Kim Cattrall.
This one, not the coug’d out version your girlfriend or mother knows.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL: regular-season schedule release – 8:00PM | NFL Network / the internet
- NHL:
- Rangers at Canadiens – 7:00PM | USA / CBC (Series tied 2-2)
- CBJ at Penguins – 7:00PM | NHL Network / Sportsnet (Penguins lead 3-1)
- Blackhawks at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360 (Nashville leads 3-0)
- Sharks at Oilers – 10:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet (Series tied 2-2)
- NBA:
- Cavaliers at Pacers – 7:00PM | TNT
- Raptors at Bucks – 8:00PM | TSN
- Spurs at Grizzlies – 9:30PM | TNT
GO-GO NFL SCHEDULE!
Sessions probably does know better but doesn’t care because this world is now ruled by trolls and we’re all fucked. That said, he is a fucking moron, so he probably had to double check, but I’m sure he knows.
Anyone watching Ice football?
not anymore. ice football is over till october. i’m not bitter at all.
my condolences on the lack of a 4/20 baby.
Yeah I really thought 2 days late that today was the day.
On in the background.
Of course.
Also, why does Canada suck so much at ice football?
Canada won the 2016 World Cup, 2014 Olympics, 2010 Olympics, 2004 World Cup and 2002 Olympics. The shit you talking about, Willis?
I’m seeing some gaps there sport
Olympics are every 4 years.
Think ayo means nhl teams.
Pressure.
I would but I have to be up by 6:45 or so tomorrow. I should probably go to bed.
The new MST3K host is going to be performing at the Bridgetown Comedy Festival. I’m going to be volunteering, but I don’t know when or where yet.
Strategic shadow placement isn’t safe for the site, is it? https://pixxxels.org/gallery/3irywwfk6/
Seems ok to me.
How very Moose of you.
National University’s new tagline is “For the Greater.”
That line just came on as I began typing this.
The pic that launched a million captions.
God, I want the world to end so badly now.
I mean, the Horsemen are all gathered in one place now.
Those fucking idiots couldn’t ride horses even if they were goddamn centaurs.
Plus Trump is just too fucking fat.
In 500 years, they’ll look back at this photo and say, “Oh, that’s why.”
i’m weirdly proud that i don’t recognize the guys in the hats.
just saying
The Nuge on the left, Kid Rock next to him. A true meeting of Michigan’s braintrust.
Lol, my first thought was hank williams jr.
Honest to god i hate people who think the midwest is the south.
They’re definitely giving Palin a run for her money as dumbest in the room
lol, i thought that was melania.
there’s a joke somewhere about how palin’s popularity was directly tied to her attractiveness.
Melania probably flew back to Manhattan in an SR-71 after the Easter Egg Roll. She was pissed that there’s nothing faster.
Should there be an official name for a group of three morons and a pedophile?
So, yeah. It’s beginning to feel like I’ve given up. This sucks.
Don’t do that.
We like you too much to let you do that.
Buck up, little soldier. Hating the world is par for the course. But ya can’t give up.
I guess it can’t be that bad that I recognize it, but it fucking sucks.
Agreed on both counts.
Nah man don’t do that. Find the smallest thing that gives you solace. For me when I was at the lowest it was pugs. As trivial as it sounds, I then rescued a pug. No matter how shit anything was i took solace in that.
#LOLHAWKS
They just didn’t want to risk getting close enough to the Cup to have to go to Trump’s White House.
Smart, as the White House is currently near its maximum allowed rapists point.
It’s already exceeded what should be the limit. You know, zero.
That was not a limit that held up very long from the moment it was built.
Yeah, well. There’s nothing anyone could do about slavery. And, well, you can’t expect slave owners NOT to rape their slaves. That’s insane.
Kawhi fucking Leonard.
That’s all I have to say…
Kawhi fucking Leonard.
Do carry on please…
Obligatory fuck Chicago.
LOL Blackhawks
Fuck the world.
I was told there would be smoothies.
But you need a $400 machine first.
BAM!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4DIs4XytEbY/Up_whY_aNHI/AAAAAAAAGIA/L435L_StG-Q/s1600/1422452_10100895316729972_1480014813_n.jpg
MIIIIIIKKKKAAAAAAA!!!
I can’t hear Uptown Funk anymore without immediately thinking of Will Ospreay and the Uptown Funkers just ruining the fuck out of the business. It’s impossible to not enjoy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhu7gdxMCxs
That song sucks.
It does. So much. Corny wrestling shit has a way of endearing me to things.
Just once, I would for something this stupid to happen on Raw. Do it on their christmas episode, or something.
I don’t even like wrestling, but this is great.
I fucking hate the Spurs. I don’t know what it is about them, but when I watch them play, I want them to lose non-fucking-stop.
Its like watching a European soccer match with their flopping.
Around 430pm, I got asked to sit in on a conference call to a gas compressor station in Wyoming that was having intermittent drive problems.
I just got to my fucking house now.
I don’t make overtime.
I would love to know how this fell under the “training” department’s responsibility.
It’s a color thing?
First hockey I’ve watched this month and it’s a clusterfuck late series OT. Good times.
Shit. I haven’t done anything all day, and blew off three events I had thought about attending.
Raptors down 30 in the third quarter.
Hee hee…
I fucking hate it when developers (looking at you Google) try to idiot-proof their software by imitating xcode’s layout tools and then FORGET TO INCLUDE THE FUCKING BUTTON RESPONSE FUNCTION IN THEIR MOST BASIC TUTORIAL.
Seriously, it’s the absolute most basic tutorial there is, and they are going to confuse the shit out of their most basic beginner users.
All the more reason I’m happy I went the automation scripting route instead of development.
I firmly believe that this drag-and-drop shit is a bad idea.
Google’s general insistence on helping is rage inducing. You should try working in education. Google’s entire future strategy is based on market penetration at the k-12 level, and they went in dry and hard.
Does Google coach at Penn State?
Somewhere around here, I have a picture of a 7 year old Gratliff rocking a Nittany Lions sweater in a school photo. It’s a pic adorable enough to make JoePa turn a blind eye.
These Objectivist idiots have been “helping” since Clinton was president, so sure, let’s give the on-the-spectrum techbros who grew up sheltered as fuck and now work in the enclave comprising world’s most surreal mockery of capitalism and reality the keys to educating normal kids. What could go wrong.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/1c25757b190c0accbb0a6d49ca776e1c/tumblr_nmqc84YXQo1u59ltco1_500.gif
I think school isn’t hard enough, but I also know that I am not the baseline for which to create any school’s curriculum, let alone the nation’s.
The original tutorials were iffy enough, this new attitude of “DON’T LOOK AT THE ACTUAL CODE!” is horrifying.
– A. Hernandez
Always. CLI forever.
I sort of feel bad for not watching the playoffs, but in my defense, what a fucking shitshow the season ended up being. Record setting losing seasons where you’re still only getting a middling draft pick are the best.
That sounds like the 1998-2003 Ice Giants.
You know what? It kind of does.
Now, how about the Ice Titans knocking the Ice Ditkas out nice and quick-like, too?
Paging Martin St. Louis.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdz0dbh3_mY
Movin’ on to Round Two.
O AN U NOE WCS GON DRANK BULLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DAT
Hopefully Caps can manage not to mess any further and meet Yinz there.
The one good thing about Chiefs at Patriots to open the season is that i can dream of another Brady season ending injury.
Browns at Bears on Christmas Eve. I’m gonna chug all the spiked egg nog until I die.
We’ll all watch this game since the Browns will somehow break their 0-for-the-season streak and all the Swerskis will just die.
Donks get 3 SNF, plus MNF and TNF. Despite being, you know…kinda shitty.
Oh look, another fuckload of Eagles and Redacted games on prime time outside the flex zone. BUT, the Titans made MNF. And the Thursday game won’t be the JAX – TEN superclásico. Instead, TEN @ PIT, which could get testy.
In sum,
Dig a bigger hole, Hippo.
And grab a new basket for me if you can…I’ll be right over.
Bringing a “friend”.
You have my attention…
wow, I liked seeing her in the bathtub. But equally wow, did that show get fucking tedious after the first 2 seasons.
Agreed. It became quite a chore to see it to the end.
You made it further than I did. Think I got to the penultimate? Whenever the dumber kid went to cop school, I stopped.
Actually I think I gave up now that I remember.
Let me know when it’s time for this gif so I can bask in the derp
That was a pretty goal.
Shit I flipped over to O’s and missed that one.
This makes me smile:
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Is there some trick to embedding tweets?
Is it showing for you? I used the embed code but all it did for me was produce the link. Click on the date to see the video.
Our Attorney General, the 4-term US Senator, Juris Doctor out of University of Alabama, Jeff “What the Actual Fuck” Sessions, is amazed that a judge in Hawaii can block a law.
That he voted for.
I’d expect that out of a North Carolina graduate, but Alabama?
Hmm. Yeah, I guess that’s not so surprising either.
No baby for litre on 4 20. Unless shit really picks up.
Baby’s going to LA?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx0zeMbLOCY
The new Rise Against album comes out on 6/9?
Latest single, for those inclined:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7bvMlfmTm4
Curse of 3-0 is happening in Yinzburgh.
MOAR LIEK curse of continuing to play fucking Flower.
/also, where the Ron Paul gif??
Anyone want to say fuck it and play poker early?
In about 30 minutes, yes.
Anyone want to say fuck it and cook me dinner?
After hawkey.
Should be 1-1. Montreal Typical.
Fuck you Marc Staal.
PHAT PHIL WOOO
God I hate Montreal.
The team, not the city.
Was Barbra Streisand EVER hot?
I’ll give him credit for Catrall, but…
Noap.
Your call.
Not quite in the spirit of the day, but if you see a woman wearing this, say hello to Hippo’s new ex-wife.
https://www.moschino.com/us/moschino/shoulder-bag_cod45322911so.html#dept=bgsll
Or possibly his next kidnapping victim.
Little Column A, Little Column B
It puts the gigantic pill bottle in the basket….