NFL News:
- The NFL has responded to yesterday’s news about CTE in athletes’ brains:
We appreciate the work done by Dr. McKee and her colleagues for the value it adds in the ongoing quest for a better understanding of CTE.
As noted by the authors, there are still many unanswered questions relating to the cause, incidence and prevalence of long-term effects of head trauma such as CTE. [snip] The NFL has made 47 rule changes since 2002 to protect players, improve practice methods, better educate players and personnel on concussions and strengthen the league’s medical protocols. The NFL deploys 29 medical professionals on the sidelines for each game.
The NFL is committed to supporting scientific research into CTE and advancing progress in the prevention and treatment of head injuries.
- In other words:
- Go fuck yourself;
- Smoking doesn’t cause cancer; and
- Who are you to question King Roger I?
- We will find out by 4:00 PM Eastern today if Lucky Whitehead has a future in the League, as that is the deadline for another team to claim him off waivers.
- Rappaport says Whitehead has been contacted by five teams.
- His agent has a double-entendre’d level of confidence:
- “I can’t see why any team with a 90-man roster right now that needs return help wouldn’t pick him up.”
- His agent has a double-entendre’d level of confidence:
- Whitehead says he wouldn’t go back to the Cowboys.
- The NFLPA is looking into filing a grievance, especially if he doesn’t get claimed.
- Rappaport says Whitehead has been contacted by five teams.
- Butthole Updates:
- My doctor’s appointment has been moved from this Friday to August 9.
- I choose to interpret this as all results negative, and will imbibe accordingly.
- Megatron’s will remain closed, as construction & mechanical delays will prevent Atlanta’s shiny new stadium from opening the roof by opening day.
- From Deadspin via the AJC:
- My doctor’s appointment has been moved from this Friday to August 9.
He said it typically takes 40 days to “mechanize” such a roof after its last “construction move.” Since three more construction moves of the roof are scheduled in the coming weeks, the 40-day clock won’t even begin until after those moves. And Cannon indicated the process could take longer than 40 days because it will be sandwiched around a heavy schedule of events in the stadium.
Finally, two reads to make you aware of:
- The MMQB has an article titled “The Reprogramming of Cam Newton” which is meant to read like the Panthers are trying to create CAM!…WHOA CAM! 2.0, but comes across like Curt Gowdy is calling a Communications major “an intelligent young man” during a 1970s college broadcast.
- Big Daddy Drew has put out the call for contributions to “Why Your Team Sucks”. I expect your sharpest rage-icisms.
Tonight’s sports:
- Beisbol:
- A’s at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Cubs at White Sox – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
- Futbol:
- CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2017:
- U.S. vs. Jamaica (Final) – 9:30PM | FS1 / UNI / TSN
- International Champions Cup Soccer:
- FC Barcelona vs. Manchester United – 7:30PM | ESPN2
- Paris Saint-Germain vs. Juventus – 9:30PM | ESPN2
- CONCACAF Gold Cup Soccer 2017:
RAGE! RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT! – what Trent Green does when the fridge door closes.
Big ups to the Deadpsin commenter who posted this appeals court decision reversing the decision to grant summary judgment for Albert Breer in his indecent exposure trial.
http://caselaw.findlaw.com/oh-court-of-appeals/1479719.html
Quick, someone call Manuel Ferrara!
(I wish I thought of this joke six hours ago.)
The original Snapchat:
And to think a modern disposable cellphone can do a better job.
In this case not really. 16mm Kodachrome is/was the greatest, and an iPhone would probably melt on the moon. And that Hasselblad on the rover is shooting 6x6cm medium format Kodachrome still frames: no digital camera of any type even comes close to that.
Probably while major motion pictures are still shot on old school film.
For yeahright
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I
Oh goddamn it!
Hey, it’s your fault for telling me to finish the wine. I tried unscrewing the cap…and it was already off and empty.
Oh hai Kelly Cartman!
I wish cathechism had been like this.
Not in today’s Army mister!
This deserved more love
So we can down-vote now? That’s a bad idea if I decide to activate Operation Be a Dickhole.
I got a voting error when I tried.
And I still can’t upvote my own comments. RUDE!
Russians are at it again I see.
This is truly the darkest timeline. Where I have to rely on you assholes to validate my thoughts.
Isn’t that really why we’re all here anyways?
every time you downvote Trump gets an extra vote in Wisconson.
Just to follow up, the magical voodoo anti pain patch things worked gloriously and I did 5 miles in record time today.
Oh hell yes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=um2XJBPzSeQ
Nicely done!
I had to fly to your city today on short notice for work. Leaving tomorrow, but if shit gets fucked up, I’ll ping you so I can reciprocate on beers near LAX.
Fuck yes son, lemme know.
We’ve got the beers here as you well know.
Would be damn nice to meet up with you again.
If tomorrow goes the way tonight went, I’m gonna need many beers.
Got that covered!
So you obviously ignored my advice and put one on your fucking nutsack.
SMGDH…
This was the rare occasion when I didn’t even fondle my nutsack after application.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUtnwcv-quE
/feels really old
So I’m an idiot and booked the wrong kimpton tonight. Random dude was willing to switch kimptons with me and drive the 20 minutes to the other one. We’ve been waiting 20 minutes for the two hotels to get their shit together to facilitate this random act of kindness.
USA USA USA USA
/sees that Trump is still President
Aw, fuck, we’re terrible.
Yes but your microbrew pubs are amazing.
That’s something! Thanks, friendly Canadiaoun!
The dollar got back to 80¢ today. Road trips are affordable again!
Woo hoo, glad I hung onto so much fake money from my trip to Calgary!
The Gritty Little US Team might actually beat the powerful Jamaicans! MAGA!!!!!
How the fuck did the USMNST even make it this far?
Its like watching the Caps in the NHL playoffs.
As Jordan Morris scores a pretty great goal
Scratch that…a REALLY great goal.
I just saw it now. My feed has a bit of a lag.
Its what they needed. My snarky internet comment.
I’m not saying that I caused the goal…but I caused the goal.
You’re kind of an American hero.
Pizza Power.
Being the only side with a GNP over that of your average suburban high school bake sale?
Fuck you!
– TJ Oshie’s bear claws
Dammit, so close to Abacab. YOU STOP AND STARE (abacab) YOU’RE NEVER THERE (abacab)
Well, gosh. Don’t try too hard to protect your members, you worthless pieces of fuck.
Timbers fans aren’t quite at batshit fucking psychotic as Sounders fans, but give ’em a little goddamn credit.
That being said, I hate Fred Armisen and that series so much. I would shit on him if I could.
Amerikanischer Fußball ist enttäuschend
I disagree with your second paragraph.
Nance and Peter might be my favorite Portlandia characters.
Speaking of buttholes, look at Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals making it 3 straight over the Rox.
Jamaica just tied the score, so, eh, no one cares.
WOO!!!!
/might switch back now
Duuuuude, MSN. I like care and shit, but I don’t remember where I put thr, the, the… You know man, that thing you watch things on.
Man thaaaaat would be a great invention a thing you could watch sports on so you don’t have to leave the couch and worry about some dude harshing your mellow.
Oh you noe we gon’ talk buttholes, buhlee dat!
I see internet dad has been busy.
Tina just had a new idea.
Someone around here should be very worried.
😉
Bob’s Burgers capoeira episode is on. LOVE IT.
I love the fact the the Fulton Reed grew up to be Foggy Nelson
/Still watching The Mighty Ducks
Wish there were more fringe wrestling nerds here to share my G1 Climax thoughts with. My favorite part of NJPW is when two heels go against each other, it actually looks like two heels wrestling. Yes, that is the guy from the little girl kicking gifs going up against the best heel/DVD Salesman this side of Eddie Guerrero.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX-V18RBuSk
I am relying on you for US/JAM updates. I am leaving this screen to auto refresh
Made my first weed store stop in a while this afternoon. Looking forward to burning one down this evening.
“We should hang out.”
– Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes
“Mind if I drop by?”
– Aaliyah
“Yeah, man. Let’s get toasted!”
– Chris Conte
“I’ll be right there, if you guys could hang on a second.”
– Aaron Hernandez
“Let’s get a bite to eat.”
– Jeffrey Dahmer
“I am depressed and will kill myself.”
– Chester Benington
I’ll give it a shot.
-K Cobain
We could tie one on!
-M Hutchence & D Carradine
AMATEURS!!!!!
– Jim Morrison
– Jimi Hendrix
– John Bonham
– Janis Joplin
etc
(and why are all their names beginning with J?)
You know who else began with J and died a lot…
“Fuck That!!!”
— Andre Rison
“I can’t fuck that.”
– Odell Beckham, according to Lena Dunham’s fevered imagination.
I was really expecting a ” Ha ha, your asshole doesn’t work!” tag and a Nelson Muntz gif.
Expect the unexpected.
I think we should all just recognize that the NFL is going the way of boxing. It will be a gradual, but increasingly speeding up, decline of talent as more and more parents in the US realize its fucking insane to let their kids play a blood sport.
Soon it will be even more desperate people going into the sport, like eastern Europeans, but on a positive, the USMNST should see a massive increase in the talent pool!
Yeah, sad but true. And Conor McGregor is gonna make a shit quarterback.
Yup, this is very true. Except the only ones playing football won’t be Mexicans or Eastern European.
I wreck a lice nuthin!
-E Smith
Flowerpot dingleberry trapezoid!
-T Green
Finally getting over being sick for days with a big fever, choking to death if I tried to move from my bed, eating nothing-ish (like 3 days of actual nothing [edit: except water]) and other symptoms. My first instinct was to get drunk today. In defense of me I did like 5 hours of house work done before I went this route. That was a few hours ago I am drunk.
Eat something!
Imagine living with someone that is sitting 10 feet away that will ignore as you take 45 min to prepare something, then the second is done annoys the shit out of you for an hour as your food cools when you are going to try to go eat.
This wasn’t the case here, it was the illness. But other times I don’t eat it is this.
— Richard Carpenter