NFL News:
- The pressure must have gotten to John Fox – it’s Truth Biscuit time in Chicago!
- His first game will be next Monday night versus the Vikings.
- With the Falcons bye week approaching, it appears Julio Jones – owner & wearer of the high flyin’ cleats in the banner photo – will not miss any time due to injury.
- He hurt a hip flexor in the loss to Buffalo.
- Based on stats through the first four games, Tom Brady is on track to be sacked 52 times this year.
- To date, he’s been dropped 13 times. He was sacked for loss 15 times in all of the 2016 regular season.
- The Seahawks got beat-the-hell-up last night in their victory over the Colts:
- Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
- HOW THE FUCK DID HE FINISH THE GAME?!
- RB Chris Carson: Broken leg, below the knee
- Done for the season
- DE Cliff Avril: Pinched nerve; day-to-day
- He lost feeling in his fingertips after an accidental kick to the head.
- CB Jeremy Lane: Strained groin.
- Day-to-day
- Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
- As expected, Eagles fans took over the StubHub Center and turned an away game into home-field advantage. This Deadspin link has full audio of the debacle Eagles OT Jason Peters said “was like a home game”.
We wish you were here, but it sounds like most of you were. #FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/TeQaaAH5qM
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) October 1, 2017
Finally, unrelated to football, it’s been a bad day for music fans. The 58 people killed at the Jason Aldean show in Las Vegas by a domestic terrorist, and news that Tom Petty is on life-support dead, have made for a very sad Monday.
I saw Tom Petty live once. It was the “True Confessions” tour with Bob Dylan in 1986.
It was pretty good. Each played 45 minutes on their own, and then combined for the final 30 minutes of the show. I owned that shirt for years; it eventually wore out.
Game Preview: Chiefs at [*Redacted] s
Tonight, two of the sports world’s finest ethnic slurs face off in Washington as the Kansas City Chiefs, owned by non-affiliated Christian & white male Clark Hunt, take on a Washington team owned by Jewish businessman & white male Dan Snyder.
Hunt, who lettered in soccer at Southern Methodist University in 1987, and therefore did not have any hand in the alleged murder of five hookers while Craig James definitely attended SMU between 1979-82, majored in business, worked at Goldman Sachs and was named head of Hunt Sports Group LLC when his father Lamar died. He shares ownership with his three siblings. He was influential in getting his father to back the creation of Major League Soccer, something that validated the league in its early days of operation.
Dan Snyder, a petty little man who has a tendency to sue any organization that writes untruthful things, is a businessman notorious for attempting to squeeze every penny out of the organizations he owns or belongs to as well as monetizing the fan base. I refer you to Dave McKenna’s piece from the Washington City Paper for more details. Snyder attempted to sue the paper & author for defamation, but the suit was withdrawn in the face of a SLAPP motion by the defendants. Currently surrounded by yes-men, he presides over a team that hasn’t done anything meaningful in the NFL since Joe Gibbs first discovered car racing.
The game itself should be a spirited affair, as Kansas City are the only remaining unbeaten team and Washington wants to keep pace with the Eagles & stay one game ahead of the Cowboys. Alex Smith is doing a commendable job holding back the tide wanting high draft pick Patrick Mahomes to come in & take the reins. Now that they have settled on a pronunciation, Washington is enjoying another Kirk Cousins franchise-tag year, as their recent devastation of the Raiders proved. They both have solid receiving corps, and while Washington has the advantage in the safety/corner department, they won’t be able to do much without being able to stop KC’s Kareem Hunt, who is the prime reason Alex Smith looks as good as he does.
It’s either going to be a 42-38 barnburner or a 7-6 slog. Gun to my head, I’d take the Chiefs.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en español en ESPN2
- Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- WWE
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Baseball playoffs start tomorrow with the AL play-in game, followed by the NL game & NHL home openers Wednesday. WE’RE GOOD UNTIL FEBRUARY!
Nawt a fumbre
Well, *I* don’t want it to be a fumble, so I’m certain that it *will* be.
“He ain’t heavy, he’s my Cousins.”
-Washington OC
A’ight then, we live in a world where the Redacteds and RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! are just good, damn it.
Chaos reigns, cats lie down with dogs, etc etc etc.
I know I have travel as an excuse, but damn I seriously fucked up my fantasy lineup this week
yet, still gonna beat me because I keep starting Catler
Good chance KHunt bails ya out tho
Playing from behind they better go to Kelce.
This is my totally unbiased opinion.
I have 500 pts against me. Not to mention I am just awful
Cooper Cousins…jesus christ you saddled that kid with that name?!?!
Fucking CTE is nothing to fuck with!
Doesn’t quite roll off the lips like “Wu-Tang”.
playground, meet beatings
– A. Rodgers
“Playgrounds, you said?” – Marc T.
His initials can also stand for cubic centimeters!
Its always funny when I have customers come in from overseas…
and the first thing they want to do is go to a shooting range…
“Permission to say ‘Oh cock?'”
I’m surprised the windows weren’t bulletproof. I thought that high, the windows are supposed to be strong so no one could fall though by accident.
(complexly serious)
He had some sort of fancy hammer, knocked the window out beforehand
Oh, great! Now we’ll need Hammer Control!
No one realized that MC Hammer was a political act
“And ice axes, for good measure.”
— L. Trotsky
“Fancy hammer” That just made Buddy excited.
“The hammer is my penis.”
Yeah, big gambling losers falling from the sky would probably not be something the casinos would like.
The Chiefs better improve their pass protection. Their RT and TE put a serious pass rush on their QB.
29 columns across, 20 rows down.
Red – dead (58), yellow – wounded (515).
This is the price of “freedom.”
“Too soon!” – a bunch of idiots that think we should wait some unspecified amount of time before trying to do something about gun violence in this country
“Never.”
Never is the time when they think it’s acceptable. It’s a fucking dodge, and those people can all go fuck themselves to death.
Agreed. I’m sure with this President and Congress we can get some…
…
Maybe table this conversation for ’21. Or maybe ’19 depending on how the Dems do in the midterms.
GOP 2021: We’ll really repeal Obamacare this time. You’ll see.
GOP 2104: Repeal ObamaSandersClintonCare
They don’t care when 26 white children are murdered before Christmas.
They don’t care when two of their own are nearly murdered in two separate mass shootings.
They will never care.
“Well, waddya want us to do about it, huh? Fuck off.”
– The Government
♫ Are you ready for some football? ♫
MNF Director with a plea to the KC Chiefs.
Why is he smoking a turd?
Incoming Old Man Hot Take:
If that durn dreadlocked kid gets pulled down by his hair, it’s his own damn fault.
yeah, I have never understood how one could play FOOTBAW with dreads, especially an offensive skill position
/also *OLD MAN TAEK* I would imagine footbaw to be an endeavour in which a thorough, cleansing shower would be especially important
It’s my understanding that Warren Sapp would regularly avoid showering a few days before games. Also apparently he would piss himself from time to time, so O-lineman wouldn’t want to tangle with him.
Also would have that hooker stank on him too.
yep, that is how “Stink” got his nckname (the pissing hisself during games) – the OL from the ‘dacteds/Broncos
“Hear, Hear!” [makes slapping sounds]
-Jerry Sandusky
“Showering is how you get MRSA.” – SCHIANO MEN
I did not like that.
Nor did my DFO Suicide entry. At least I split the baby and used GB in my $$ entry.
I think I went with the Heaux. I assume there will be more carnage in Yeahrights pool this week.
So we are still doing this huh? I realize its been a long struggle to find people good at doing MNF but for the life of me, I don’t get why Gruden is popular.
Giant Gruden watches you when you sleep.
As long as he doesn’t watch me while I masturbate…
…well, not every day at least.
OH, he does…he does indeed.
Guns don’t kill people, people d-
*Accidentally blows head off with loaded double-barrel shotgun
Its true. Dick pulled the trigger and exhibited poor gun safety habits by have the barrel pointed at someone. Namely his head. Can’t blame it on the gun.
Harry Whittington and Janay Rice later apologized for their roles in the incident.
The more you know
It just occurs to me that, for years, I’ve been changing the channel to something else whenever they play the National Anthem at the beginning of games. Either that’s a reaction to having to stand for the NA all the time growing up in the military and while on active duty (even before movies started at the base theater), or I was having a pre-cognitive moment in sympathy with the players. Probably the former, though.
You clearly hate TEH TROOPZ
But I wuz one! Hell, I still work for the Air Force!
Well, TBH there are a few of those fuckers that I’d put in front of a claymore mine.
I personally think the way most singers render the anthem is an insult to all humans with ears, so I tend to leave the room or just tune out the anthem
Thank Odin I’m not the only one that does this. Morning/evening colors, movies, ceremonies…
Rain stopped, sun is out, I’ll be ditching y’all in about half an hour. Has the footballing started yet?
There’s the “CHIIIIIIEEEEEFS” howl.
Tell Hippo how that’s not disrespectful as shit to the anthem.
You sure it wasn’t queefs? I hate that word.
What about doing anything other than standing stock-still and putting your hand over your heart, staring at the flag? Can you close your eyes? Can you pray? Can you simply focus on the ultra-intense sport you’re about to play? What if you’re resting before the game and aren’t actually protesting? What if you’re drinking a beer at home, wondering when those ungrateful SOBs will stop disrespecting the anthem?
my beef is how many of those 60K drunkards CLEARLY disrespecting the anthem are getting unraveled over a handful of black guys kneeling reverently to make a point about something fucked up with the country.
It’s de facto evidence (along with flag clothing) that Murrikans really don’t prioritize “reverence” for flag and anthem. Just keeping black folk in their place.
“A flag in the form of the United States? You know what? Everything’s gonna be alright.”
…and per the wishes of the President, Puerto Rico is forgotten about.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwNT8InraZo
Running for President “Rick Guilt” Rick had me on the floor.
Now its time for some MAGA-idiot booing the flag being flown at half-mast.
“Show some pride! Fly it high!”
IF ONLY ALL DEM VICTIMS HAD GUNS THEY”D STILL BE ALIVE #2A
Thing I just realized today – kids are identifying as “menshiviks” without any sense of irony or humour about it. They’re dead serious, and think this is a rational path forward.
Wait, not “a” path, “the” path.
No fucking wonder the GOP thinks they will comes out this Drumpf embarrassment still smelling like a rose.
Wait, what? I mean…at least they’re learning some Russian history I guess?
While goofy, I’m curious as to why that bothers you. Mensheviks were far more moderate among the communists and socialists. They were more like modern Democratic Socialists than Soviet Communists. They were opposed to violent overthrow and anti-war….which is probably why they got stamped out by Bolsheviks. I have an unusual perspective on the whole thing. I have family that was starved out by Stalin during Holodomor, but I’m also a DSA member. I believe in it, but I struggle sometimes with all the youngin’s running around with Soviet imagery and calling each other comrade, even though I understand it’s well-meaning in most cases. It just seems to me like the best way to deal with the assholes cosplaying as Nazis isn’t to cosplay as Soviets.
if it was playful and silly, it wouldn’t bother me. Tis a fundamental misunderstanding of American politics to somehow think that embracing Octobrist labeling is a winning formula (even the Bernie “Democratic socialism” would be a damned hard sell in a general election, as every political professional knows).
I agree. It’s also why American politics are shit. Every time something good and progressive gets close to happening since 1940, “OH MY GOD IT’S COMMUNISM IN AMERICA! SHIELD THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN”. Hell, most self-described socialists are actually closer to communists, because the word communism has been so poisoned thanks to Stalin and the Red Scare that they have to call themselves something sort of related. It has the amusing effect of also making it so Americans don’t consider most progressive gov’t programs as “socialist” because they don’t know what words mean. I spent a large part of my twenties trying to figure out why liberals allowed the right to dominate and control rhetoric after 2000, because now anything that isn’t literally “Let the poor die because Jesus” gets labeled as communist and socialist (THEY ARE DIFFERENT THINGS, PEOPLE) from the outset and it’s an uphill battle to accomplish anything beyond lip service.
Liberalism is making a comeback of sorts, and “progressive” works just fine. I just don’t want to undo the comeback by playing into people’s fears about “the left.” There’s a fine line, agreed.
Obama knew how to do it.
So, today started off pretty amazing, but, wow, did it get shitty in a hurry.
I would only tell your spawn about the #RatbirdDestruction part of her special day, at least until she’s a teenager.
GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!
As a Bears fan, I’m disappointed not to have a chance to go 1-15 with Mike Glennon at quarterback
3-13. The Truth is out there. A Biscuit is involved.
I’ma stick my neck out and say he’s off to a refuge upstate. Shh, shh, here’s a leaf, come here…
Ahhh the racist bowl. Good times.
It’s OBVIOUS to everyone else that the Patriots had Tom Petty killed, right?
Kansas City wins this one by at least two pork chops, I mean touchdowns
Let’s not rule anything out.
– A. Reid
“What sides come with those chops?”
-A. Reid, KC locker room
Can I get an extra time out with that?
I think Blake Bortles and Amy Acker should form a celebrity couple so they could be referred to as “Blamey Blacker”.
“Sounds good to me” – every MAGA chud
“Blacker, eh? I’m not sure…”
-Ted Danson
The Raiders are fucked like a black guy hanging around outside the BART at midnight.
Damn. Shot fired.
Followed by about thirty more, “just to be sure.”
“You’re not going to bother to plant drugs on the guy? You’re as lazy as a Mexican!”
“You are a team who wears thug uniforms, we’ll treat you like a thug.”
– Florida Police Chief’s Wife
Me: “Son, have you checked out the latest Rick And Morty?”
Son: “Oh crap! I totally forgot! I’m on it.”
Me: [faux serious tone] “You know, one day I won’t be around to tell you about these things.”
Son: “I don’t want to think about that right now. Thanks Dad, you’re the best!”
/Ok, the last line was completely made up. What he actually said was, “Meh, I’d have remembered later today or early tomorrow”.
//kids-they’re so precious!
Eh, he probably just thinks that once you’re gone, a near identical clone will take your place.
This is a perfectly schwifty comment.
The “racist cop” one was better, I thought. And the “Beth is a sociopath” one. Damned good season.
Was that the Citadel of Ricks episode?
Aww geez yeah I think it was aww geez.
Indeed
Tales from the Citadel? Mortys killing Mortys.
Schottenheimer doesn’t remember a lot about that game…Probably because of CTE.
Alzheimer’s, Well shit that really sucks.
I was close though.
There’s always that gleam.
Herm Edwards with the dead stare into his own future.
So ESPN’s Monday Night Countdown is not being broadcast due to technical difficulties. Not sure if this is good news or bad news.
This is the brightest timeline!
Yay, Amy Acker’s back on TV. Maybe I’ll check out Inhuman after all.
Also, does she even know how to age? She looks exactly the same when she was on “Angel” 13 years ago.
I was listening to a podcast that said “The Gifted” is series, but having AA play a concerned mom seems wildly out of character for her. But they only saw the pilot, so it’s hard to say much about where it goes from there.
Also, the consensus is to avoid “Inhumans” like it’s the Ebola virus because it’s just awful.
Was just assembling Quotables and, what the hell is it that makes Blake Bortles throw the fucking weirdest interceptions?
The hangovers.
Ass herpes?
Cirrhosis
HE DOES NOT PRAY ENOUGH
Bad…breath?
Women’s judo, soccer, robot combat league, more soccer, and what looks like an Indonesian version of Wipeout
First or last.
Depends on the futbol.
Someday there will be a massive robot uprising and they will take the few humans who survive and put them in zoos. And it wil be because we designed the robots to be increasingly autonomous, ignoring all the cautions thrown up by scientists, until eventually one becomes self-aware and teaches all the others to become self-aware as well. And they will develop a really neat spacefaring civilization that settles all its conflicts with other spacefaring civilizations by running simulations instead of engaging in wars.
Specifically LASER wars because that is the most futuristic kind of war.
One of my favorite parts of All-Star Superman is when Lex Luthor makes a serum that gives him Superman’s powers for 24 hours. Superman shoots him with a gravity gun, and Lex laughs off the blast because “superpowers.” However, his powers suddenly fade on him because Superman didn’t use the gun to make him heavier or anything, but rather he knew that the relativistic property of stellar-scale gravity would accelerate Lex’s metabolism and burn out the serum faster. Grant Morrison is a fucking wizard with that high-concept stuff.
Anyway, weaponized miniature black holes to render people into component atoms and shit is where the future is (This was actually a plot in David Brin’s Earth).
One time David Brin responded personally to a message I sent him on dailykos! Nice guy.
Sarah Connor, is that you again?
I told you to get off my fucking porch.
Okay, let’s see what sports are on the hotel teevee this morning. It’s raining out, so I might wait for it to clear up before going hiking and maybe getting some crispy duck.
Are you in Bali yet? Is there still a Bali?
I think it’s called Siam, now.
When does the next autogyro leave?
Yep, I don’t even have a view of the volcano, and once it erupts there will actually be MORE Bali
When my cousin visited me in Singapore he was helping coordinate the foreign service’s response to that. Nobody at the foreign service knows much about volcanoes!
Where are you now?
Bali for the next couple days, fly to Kathmandu on the 5th/6th
Nice. Enjoy, dear.
“Ooh, I love that place!”
– Jay Cutler
Just kidding, all he did was roll his eyes and shrug.
Kathmandu, more like KathmanDOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE.
Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam, Mali to Bali, Ohio, Oahu!
Watched a making of the My Little Pony movie, and I’m starting to be cautiously optimistic. Mostly because the celebrity voice actors seems to be genuinely interested in the roles and not just in it for a paycheck.
Also, I didn’t realize Emily Blunt could sing that well. Maybe she is worthy of holding Mary Poppins umbrella (with Julie Andrews passing the role first of course).
Jeebus. You’ns iz already yakking.
Ten hour drive to Thunder Bay tomorrow for a one day conference.
/pray for Mojo
Oh god the Trans canada up there isnt even twinned is it?
Word has it that there is barely a shoulder to cry on.
Trans canadia twins?! What DOESN’T your healthcare cover?
/no seriously…really. Cuz check please on this shit sammich.
I get the feeling that Thunder Bay isn’t as cool as the name would suggest?
It is not. Very racial as well with white man v natives. Big problem.
(checks Wikipedia)
Aw, with the name I was expecting a surfing town with women in bikinis,
Your boss knows that they have things like phones, with conference-call capability, right?
Here’s the thing. I’m the boss.
/it’s a bunch of yakking about extending a very profitable program, so I must attend
Boss-to-boss (I’ve never got to use that before), those are the best kinds of programs to extend.
“UP TOP, BUDDY!”
Wait. Don’t bosses have, like, minions or drones or henchmen or lackeys to do all that boring shit for them?
/not sure you’re a very good boss. Sad.
At least to do the driving.
Next time research planes or trains. Or take multiple days off so you can take a day to rest.
I’ve done that drive from Toronto to Thunder Bay. It’s about 15 hours, god speed.
(Signs in, starts up ticker tape news machine)
So guys, it’s been a while, maybe it’s finally time we can talk about gun contr–
(Whirrr, click, other ticker tape noises)
Let’s just check the news here. Oh. Oh no. Guess we’ll try again in six months.
Without trying to ruffle some feathers, I think some Republicans can agree that either some gun control law needs created or some gun control laws needs enforced.
Protecting yourself? Of course! Who wouldn’t agree that someone has that right?
This guy had enough to arm a small village!
But why are they on the cusp of legalizing silencers?
Because the NRA has a lot of money and the Democrats are only good at saying no and not persuading moderate Republicans?
…Yeah, that pretty much hits the nail on the head actually. Or at least also-bad solutions.
Oh, if they were even good at only saying No.
Maybe this is already the case and I just don’t know all hte details, but it seems reasonable that guns should AT LEAST have as much regulation and restriction as cars.
Or as much as birth control that isn’t abstinence. Oh wait, we’re getting rid of that too.
“Well, the Old Gods stir, so I guess enough blood has been shed on American soil. Maybe it’s time for tighter control of gun possession in this country.”
*receives Giant Check*
“I mean, if anything, we have TOO much control. The only thing that stops a bad sniper is at least 400 people openly carrying sniper rifles.”
Maybe the Hollywood elites can create an anti-NRA lobby, whose sole purpose is to write a bigger check than the NRA.
That money is already allocated to quietly busting entertainment unions
So that’s how Scientology gets its money. Its all a front.
It’s too late. The battle is over, the gun nuts won, and the price the rest of us have to pay to secure their precious 2nd Amendment rights are these daily slaughters, some obviously worse than others. (Full disclosure: gun owner (just one though)).
So now they’re saying Tom Petty isn’t dead?
Legends never die
Based on his music, I wouldn’t have pegged him as a hardass motherfucker, but here we are…
Still hanging on apparently, but no brain activity, off life support, and Do No Resuscitate order in place. Just a matter of time, I reckon
.
Is that like the New York Knicks being the New York [Fancy Term for New Yorkers]?
The New York Eustace Tillys?
“And the Panthers come on the road and beat the Patriots!”
Funny, I do the same thing whenever the Patriots lose.
That’s some distance, I’m impressed.
/I assume you’re still on a chair or couch when this happens
Liv Morgan is not unattractive.
She appears to be fun-sized.
Indeed. A well put-together female human.
Hue Jackson survived the day still employed? Well, I’ll be damned!
I got an Irish coworker that always gets pissed when someone orders an “Irish Car Bomb” as a drink. He came up with his own.
He orders as many shots as he can afford at once, drinks them as a fast as possible, vomits all over the place, and then yells “THERE IS NOTHING WE COULD DO”
He calls it the “American Mass Shooting”.
That’s great. I’ve seen this before, but it never fails to amuse me.
I didn’t realize Darren Rovell wrote for Time.
WON’T SOMEBODY PLEEEEEEASE THINK OF THE CAPITAL?!
Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
His boyfriend/girlfriend/dominant hand picked a crappy time to break up with him after a game.