Whether it be Thanksguiving, Columbus Day, or Indigenous Peoples Day, happy holiday Monday to you all.
And if you didn’t have a holiday today, maybe move to a better state or country.
There’s no NFL News update because I may or may not have typed this last Thursday, right before I picked up my first bottle ahead of the Thursday Night game. If the Patriots lost, I’m blitzed until Tuesday.
Game preview: Vikings at Bears.
Hold onto your butts, because tonight marks the first appearance of…
the Truth Biscuit!
Mitch Trubisky, fresh from a whole 13 starts at the U*NC, starts tonight & we’ll get to see whether the Bears laughably wasted those draft picks to move up one spot to get him. Looking at their schedule, it’s probably the best time to start him, as after this the Bears next face off against the Ravens, Panthers, Saints & Packers. If they ever wanted to get him a start & avoid David Carr-ing him, this is the game. Plus, they have a deadly 1-2 combination at running back. If John Fox is a smart man, the ratio of running-to-passing plays is 2 or 3:1.
(Ron Howard voice: he was not a smart man.)
The Vikings, meanwhile, don’t know who’s starting half their positions until they take attendance on the bus leaving the hotel. A Filipino bellhop could end up being their long snapper if he doesn’t get off in time. Current starting QB Teddy Bridgewater Sam Bradford Danny Wuerffel Case Keenum just has to copy the Rodgers tape from last week & stay upright in order to have a successful-enough game to carry the Vikings to victory.
Anyone for a 10-10 tie?
(A billion thanks to Low Commander for the awesome photoshop.)
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Vikings at Bears – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en espanol en ESPN2
- Vikings at Bears – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NHL:
- Black Hawks at Leafs – 9:00PM | NHLN; TSN4 (regional)
- MLB:
- Game 4 (if necessary) – AL Divisional Series – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet1
Holiday Monday and a short work week?
Aaaaaand Betances walks the leadoff man. Time to start drinking!
I called that in a text with my son.
“You watch, he’ll put the first two on and be pulled immediately.”
Now my son wants to know what the next winning lottery numbers are, but sadly my only talen is recognizing a shit pitcher when I see one.
Betances in the 8th?
That’s a bold strategy Joe; let’s see how this works out!
/Hits bull
Yeah, he’ll be just fine.
Mitchell is going to Disney world
If the NFL wants to fight cancer, why don’t they fire Goodell?
But goodwill is where I got my sweet Nathan vasher jersey
Fucking autocorrect
Still works. Goodwill sucks.
https://lf.lids.com/hwl?set=sku%5B20243088%5D,c%5B2%5D,w%5B1000%5D,h%5B750%5D&call=url%5Bfile:product%5D
Booo. No touchdowns. Safeties. We want more safeties. Idiots.
That’s not Diggs.
Need a Howard TD here
Lol i completely forgot I had started Rudolph
Yes, we do.
I’m good with “Duck-Duck-Goose” TD celebration.
I’d prefer duck-duck-gose since I’m almost out of beer
I liked the Bobsled one the packers did yesterday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-io-VtyBPM
NAILED IT
Well, that might be why she can’t do a flip.
So, I see I missed absolutely fuck all in the drive home and to the grocery store.
And as soon as you come back, Case Keenum throws a TD!
Guess he was waiting for that coveted Yinzer demographic.
AND A FAKE PUNT TOUCHDOWN!
WCS brings all the excitement!
All hail Rian Johnson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEoglL-wPuc
Given that we’ve had the emoji movie, what are the odds we’ll eventually see the Reaction Gif Movie?
I’m not gonna say they were already doing it… but yes.
The Official Movie of the Mooseian Empire.
This game is going to end 6-5 and I’m going to have a rage stroke
I am going to lose every one of my matchups this week as this game is a dud and I am the worst FF player ever.
Nice. Three more safeties!
Damn, Gruden fucking loves saying “Amukamara”
You mean you don’t?
Well, it IS my daughter’s middle name.
Make it Diggs you fuckwits
Yes.
“The blocking wide receivers”. Fuck this game.
Severino was fantastic tonight. Now it’s up the bullpen to take it home.
In other words
Good God this game.
God has nothing to do with this game.
via GIPHY
/Did he smile, his work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?/
That’s what you think. I’m writing as we speak
How does ESPN always manage to find some dumb motherfucker in a Ditka costume to put on TV?
Greater Chicago is 10% dumb motherfuckers in Ditka costumes.
It’s an entire industry in Chicago, like Elvis impersonators in Vegas
Folks
Heya!
Is that Monica Cruz?
Kelly Brook.
My wife & I tried to watch that Rogue One movie a month or so back on Netflix. We got almost an hour into it, gave up & never watched the rest. That is one huge, steamy pile of suck.
Sounds like Buddy’s Super Bowl party.
My main gripe was the discount jedi.
You’re either a fucking jedi or not. Don’t half ass that shit
The end of Rogue One was fucking amazing! But I was 9 when (1977) Star Wars came out so I may have a different view than you.
I knelt during the Star Wars trailer to protest the treatment of John Boyega’s character.
Banner. I don’t care how fucking nerdy it is
Sorry, did Disney buy the NFL when we weren’t looking?
That’s awesome.
Whaddya mean? They did it in plain view.
Disney has the ESPN hookup
From Wikipedia:
“Ownership of ABC, and in effect control of ESPN, was acquired first by Capital Cities Communications in 1985, and then by The Walt Disney Company in 1996. In 2012, ESPN generated more revenue for Disney than any of its other properties combined.”
“Suck it, Marvel!”
-ESPN
Source?
Hypnotic.
Borat really shouldn’t get to plow that.
Damn, is that Isla? I thought it was amy Adams
And I’m serious when I say I would like a source
Checking in before game time. Just remember, while not all Dodger fans are violent criminals, all violent criminals are Dodger fans.
Give ’em hell, blaxxy.
Nah, it’s just that Giants fans can’t take a punch.
Food for thought : If Egypt men’s national lesser footy team can finally not choke and qualify for the World Cup, there’s hope for the Chefs and Iggles afterall
I support this message.
The Andy Bowl. The universe may end before either team claims the prize.
Nah. Infinite time-outs.
Not bad for a bunch of old Gizas.
want:
http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/RrEAAOSw4GVYNw-6/s-l1600.jpg
I want one a screen quality home made proton pack but don’t want to spend 1500 bucks for one
FUCK YEAH!
When I was a little kid me mum gave me the Gemini G.I.Joe set. I made it so he could shoot a variety of weapons from the space capsule, which was not accurate, but cool at the time.
I had the Submarine which really (allegedly) would submerse on its own if you used the little squeezy thing just right. The key word being allegedly….fucking thing never worked right.
My loyalties were to Big Jim, damn you all!
You just never got the G.I. Joe with fury head like that shown, but sold separately.
The G.I. Joe pictured in the mummy kit is the newer model. He also came with the kung-fu grip.
Later converted to Masturbating Grip (TM).
The SCUBA set was kinda cool too.
I was quite a good model builder but we would always blow up our models with firecrackers after they were finished. We blew up a 12″ original G.I. Joe in his space capsule, and I mean we blowed that up real good. I guess it would be worth hundreds of dollars now.
I spent to much time building models and too much allowance on G.I. Joe and other military stuff, guess I was cheap. I did help the neighbor kids burn their plastic men. We were not allowed or had available very many fire works until later.
That’s gotta be a child mummy.
He lowered his fucking head you dumb meathead. I’d like to see Gruden hit like that.
Wheaton ded.
Not young Wesley!
He had the Oedipus going on…….
I may be thinking of something different.
Switch to alfalfa ……
So… am I missing a kick ads defensive battle or an insanely derptastic offenses?
Mostly derp. But the defensing is pretty good.
Although you have to admit that it’s easier to defense derp.
You know the answer.
Neither. It’s quite the pitching duel.
I can’t remember the last time I saw an Indian get mauled this bad by a pack of bears.
I should have sent you the footage of Rushdie getting gangbanged at Manchester Pride ’91!
That is fucking hilarious. Can we be best friends for life?
Clinging to 10.65 point lead in $$ league (fading Minny D, only in this position thanks to 4 combined garbage time TDs by Watson/Hopkins combo), have Thielen v. DonT’s Howard in DFO ball, down 1.38.
Tell me more!!!
/mashes bon mot button
FOILED AGAIN!!
WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY KENNETH!!
[looks at banner image]
Wait, wut?
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/3620cd439c52a796ad1b8cb09caa19c5/tumblr_oxgtvqdxF01tr6ni8o1_500.gif
Agreed. I thought that was just hurtful and tasteless. And I would have said so, too, if I hadn’t been distracted by Mitch-memes.
But if taken is a sexual way….. oh, sorry.
1 Diggsdown please.
Oh good, Lena Dunham is back in the news. I would rather fuck a rock ape than spend one minute in the presence of that overhyped, undertalented seacow
Her show is called girls because she’s size of two of them
My wife walked into the room, saw that the Yankees 5-0 lead was now 6-3, said “Oh boy” and walked out quicker than Abe Simpson leaving that whorehouse.
c’mon, it’s not like you can’t trust your bullpen or anything…
Betances will be the closer tonight. Everyone else is burnt. That is a terrifying prospect.
HEY OF COURSE THE BEARS ARE UP 2-0! YOU KNOW THAT REMINDS BUDDY OF… the fragility of life. Especially when you live in an NFC North city where simple exposure in January can kill you. Detroit can’t even pay pensions, let alone have multiple fire trucks. 2-0, the haves and the have-nots.
Unpredictable Buddy is goddamned hilarious
via GIPHY
I really want this game to end 2-0.
Yes, this would have been divine.
Fun fact, i’ve been to two different monkey temples on this trip so far!
Didja go to the one in Ubud?
Did you put the monkey together and not take an hour? It’s only three pieces.
The head is on backwards
Sounds like Trump going to Baptist Churches
Good god, that’s wonderful.
Sure, let’s take Murray out and THEN start running the fuck outta the ball. Thanks Minny.
Huzzah!
It would actually be hilarious if it ended now. You’d have me by 0.20
Even better than .6!
That carry put me over the top. Sorry my friend.
Meh. This has always been foar teh giggles. Bravo to you! The actual team i care about won, so a good weekend.
Never mind I guess.
I hear you. Ol’ Lazy Eye is only throwing catchable balls to Thelan.
Locked and loaded!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-mxBDuRaZ8
https://www.reddit.com/r/cleavage/comments/750l8c/brazilian_babe/
I’m kinda digging this football in the early morning thing, though it would be much better if I could actually watch the games. Bodes well for west coast viewing when I get back though
I love that ESPN has the win probability as Min 62.7%. Dok, please explain
They learned how decimal places work! Good for them!
Dewey had a system, but that was for measuring meth.
Probably just because they get the ball first in the 3rd quarter and the Bears lead by less than a FG.
Better team, 10 points away from FG range (take the lead), get ball to start 2nd half
10 YARDS
Doktor Zymm: Vell, you zee, zince I am leaving Chicago ze odds of any team benefiting from meine prezence ist significantly lower. Thus, ze Bears are now ze hopeless team ve always knew zey vould vone day become.
Huzzah!
One more cathartic Enzo Amore thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f-gdt9p-k0