Your Monday Night Football Doubleheader Open Thread

Man, I very much enjoyed the games I watched yesterday. You say, ‘derp’ and I say, ‘how does a team overcome the derp’ or ‘how does a team take advantage of the derp?”. Derp is an intrinsic part of the game and I love it. Except Ereck Flowers-oriented derp-that’s a bridge too fucking far. That’s like making fun of a developmentally-challenged team trainer being given the chance to play with the starters in a high school game.

Another Observation: Hippo brought it up in one of the threads yesterday (I think) and it bears repeating to all you silly fantasy folks out there. #workthatwaiverwire Seriously, look for guys that are getting increasing amounts of touches as the season progresses-they’re working their way into the starting lineup/earning their position coach’s trust. Your wr on a potent O has a nagging hammy? Grab his backup. Them injuries tend to linger and the ball is going to end up in that guy’s hands at some point. A rook rb starts getting put into 3rd down passing packages? Grab him before someone else does. I’ll shut up now. TO THE GAMES!

Jetskis/Lions:

Don’t ask me how or why but I watched two (2!) Lions preseason games. Don’t send thoughts or prayers, just send more booze. Anywaggle, maybe Patricia The Stripper was goofing around with personnel groupings but wowza!, that D was positioned badly and seemed surprised at very obvious things that an O would run. I’ve said it recently-I’ll say it again:Stafford is going to have some awesome numbers if he can stay upright. His rookie counterpart-the object of much cautious optimism in the New York area-won’t have the stats to compare but if he gets his reads right, he’ll end up with the W.

Rammers/Raiders:

Khalil Mack embarrassed not just the Packers last night but also the Raiders. That’s one hell of a hill to climb right out of the gate Sisyphus, er, I mean, Jon. USA Today ranked qb Goff as the twenty-first best in the league just behind Derek Carr. How? What? C’mon now!

Go out there and make some friends in the comments.

 

 

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Spur

Well look at A Aron…Once you go black, you dont go back.

...

Sticking to NFL games I don’t give a shit about because… uh… Cubs fans are worse than usual right now

Doktor Zymm

Seriously? I had no idea that was possible.

King Hippo

Matt Adams just hit a 3-run shot to give the #BFIB a 7-6 lead! See you for 4 at Wrigley? 3 to close, plus WC round?

...

Do not even start with me

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

If it’s any consolation, I think whoever wins the AL will curbstomp the NL in the World Series.

King Hippo

I think this is deffo correct.

...

The fact there’s no great NL team makes it worse. The Cubs could just as easily get swept in the NLDS or stomp the Braves or Rockies to win the pennant and because of that I can’t fully check out.

But yes I’d have the Cubs as dogs to every team except maybe the A’s or Indians.

...

This fanbase doesn’t realize it but it loves to be dommed

...

On pace for 90-95 wins all season and every goddamned fan *wants* the bottom to fall out

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I would be okay with this being a shootout, or flipout, or running pile plowout or whatever

Sharkbait

As long as Kupp gets points.

Sharkbait

It’s Macallan time.

The Maestro

I want Doritos, but they’re all the way downstairs in the kitchen. That’s a good 53 steps away. When you factor in the return trip, that’s 106 steps in all. That hardly seems worth it.

Senor Weaselo

I’m impressed you’ve mapped out that it’s 53 steps!

Doktor Zymm

That’s probably more than one step per chip! Madness!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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John Difool

Goddammit, show Chucky, gotta see those forehead cables

King Hippo

PLEASE tell Hippo that flip counts as a PASS!!!

Mr. Ayo

It does!

King Hippo

These Violent Delights are saved!!

/Beatie Mixon pops the Week 1 champagne

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Am just resting my eyes, am not sleeping.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

FOOL! I had a cup of of coffee at the Jest halftime!

King Hippo

Catch that ball. FFS, you are a WHITE GUY WR!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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So which commercial has the lead on “most irritating” commercial this early NFL season?

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I think “all of them” is a strong contender for first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s why I let games go for a while the FF through them, but slowmo when Lily is on.

Redshirt

(yawns)

Must go on.
Must go on.
No I can’t.
No I can’t.
Hey, shut up.
No, you shut up.
How could you say that?
Aw, who am I kidding?

(passes out asleep)

Spur

Sweet the Raiders have shrine to Baal. Dont tell Carroll.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m thinking I kind of like this timeline.

I might stick around.

Is there anything I should know?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Get ready for Trump 2020.

Don T

Obliviousness is in.

Senor Weaselo
Redshirt

Did you arrive by time machine or time vortex and do you have access them? I need to set right what once went wrong.

Trump’s #1 don’t worry. Then Super Bowl XXIII. Then a nice sitdown with past me for a talk/beatdown.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

That’s not Kupp

Doktor Zymm

Looks like Sep 23rd is the last scheduled MLB game in Oakland

litre_cola

Zymm why aren’t you at this game?

Doktor Zymm

Jetlag and weeknight games are difficult anyway, but I am going to the 9/30 game v the not as shitty as last year BROWNIES

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fun fact….

That would have been my dead ex wife’s 50th birthday. Ya know if she wasn’t all dead n junk.

OK, not so fun. But still a fact.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh come on….like this comment. It’s funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Srsly…she was a horrible human being. The world is better off without her.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She once asked me if I’d be OK with her using her son’s (my stepson’s) SS number to open up multiple credit lines. Horrible person.

And yet now, my stepson won’t talk to me. He has no idea.

Meh….ppl gon’ ppl.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I sincerely hope so…

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

They do have a shot at hosting the wildcard though.

I don’t want that outcome either.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My tooth fucking hurts.
Or at least what’s left of it.

Dentists are assholes, don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Spur
SonOfSpam

Fuck it. Suh and Donald are cut.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

This may be the last nationally televised game from Oakland before the end of MLB play, so this may be the last time you see a baseball infield on an NFL field. I wish it was raining there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

I live in Vegas, that stadium wont be ready for at least two more years.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I know he *wanted* to play there but Lynch is too cool for this team. He deserves way better.

Sharkbait

Holy damn.

ballsofsteelandfury

So, is that what Gruden means by old school football?

I approve.

Mr. Ayo

Skittles for everyone!

The Maestro

SKITTLE TIME

Spur

AWESOME. Love me some Beast Mode

SonOfSpam

BEEF MOE ACTIVATED

...

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.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

That’s great!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Jets better savor this feeling.

Mr. Ayo

BEEF MOE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Well maintained dirt >> the ‘turf’ at FedEx or Soldier

Spur

Cooper being productive? What an Asshole.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I’m just tuning in now. How in the hell did the Jets put 48 on the Lions? Is Brady cosplaying as a 21 year old?

Spanky Datass

Defense; Measty Jest defense and ass QB play from Detroit.

JustStopDude

I really want to see the Raiders just fucking plant in to the pit of the NFL for like three seasons in a row.

I cannot fucking stand Chucky.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They’ve done it before; they can do it again.

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Brick Meathook

Does Derek Carr wear mascara?

ballsofsteelandfury

Not any more than Robert Smith.

SonOfSpam

The Vikes old RB was fashion-forward.

Petronel

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder how many NFL football fields still share space with baseball diamonds. I supposed I could find out if I wasn’t too lazy to play google at this time.

Brick Meathook

This is the last one AND I LOVE BASEBALL DIAMONDS ON NFL FIELDS

Viva La Tabula Raza

So I guess this is the last season of seeing it, I can’t imagine the new field in Vegas will have one.

King Hippo

yep, nobody else is that cheap anymore which is a shame. Makes for such adventure, especially when it rains.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They can’t rip tax payers off of enough money, so they share.

Doktor Zymm

Derek Carr could totally rock a Snidley Whiplash ‘stache

Spur

Something about have the teams having to play on the dirt infield fills me with joy.

Sharkbait

So I spent part of my vacation watching that last football game. The booze definitely helped.

Doktor Zymm

I actually seem to have found a good stream first try!

SonOfSpam

– Bob Dole, 3:00 A.M.

Spur

Can’t you just go watch the game? Why much were tickets?

SonOfSpam

Rams are gonna win by about…a lot. Let’s say 34-17.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So I fell asleep and when I woke up I thought I was in a Jets fan dream where the football unicorn had shit on the team.

Waa happen?

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Mr. Ayo

Stafford turned into a fat pumpkin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

just looked at the stat line. Welp.

ballsofsteelandfury

Are you East Coast people seriously staying up for the next game?

Sharkbait

At least part of it.

SonOfSpam

They prefer to be called “Puerto Ricans”

King Hippo

Fuck yes! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!!

/also I took a nap and have work I need to do. Gonna pass out after I wake kids up for school, probably. WHEE!!!!

LemonJello

Sadly, no. I have a “delightful” 8+ hour round trip on my schedule for tomorrow.

Later, Taters.

John Difool

We’re about to die in a hurricane, so fuck yea

SonOfSpam

Get whatever canned soup Ted Cruz doesn’t have.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can’t go to the basement ’cause that’s where you’d drown.

King Hippo

me too, Raleigh, NC. Where you at fool? Debating whether to pack up the cats and GTFO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Pack up the cats….”

John Difool

Richmond, Va

Don T

Oh, FEMA Platinum territory. You’ll be fine.

SonOfSpam

Hey don’t get mad, just cuz no one realized you were on an island surrounded by shitloads of water. I mean, NO ONE KNEW.

King Hippo

yeah, equivalent “how likely is it I will lose power and cable” territory.

John Difool

Laugh all you want, but first world tragedies are the most tragic

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

’cause they get the most news people to show up.

Senor Weaselo

Eventually. Got the local feed of the ESPN telecast, plus watching the Yanks take on the Dirt Vikes and attempt to see how little they can do on offense and still beat the Twinkies (1-0 bottom 6).

Gary Sanchez did something useful, but now we are in for another 2-20 stretch with 5 passed balls.

Spur

Great move by ESPN. changing the game.

ballsofsteelandfury

If only they could do that every Thursday Night…

Sharkbait

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dumpout of the MNF double header

Redshirt

Hey no fair! Don’t clock out early, ESPN 1st Shift. You’ll get a point!

Spur

My 2nd Banner. Thank you all!

SonOfSpam

You earned it, like A-Rod earned his victory cigar last night.

What?

Spur

You mean victory Demerol

Claymaker

My head says the Jets fan’s Alabama #12 jersey was Joe Namath but my heart says Greg McElroy.