Your “All Of You Please Stop Talking” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Antonio Brown issued a(n empty) trade threat in response to criticism of Sunday’s performance.
    • A former Steelers PR rep, Ryan Scarpino, who worked for the Steelers from 2010-17, tweeted his thoughts, and I guess Brown still follows him and got a little touchy someone went after the king.

https://twitter.com/AB84/status/1041710739642376193

– FYI, this is Scarpino’s twitter page, because nothing says “hip to today” like The Allman Brothers. (don’t @ me)

  • Also, Ape asks the truly important questions:

  • As Clay Matthews opined after the game, not only did the League back its officials (because they aren’t asking for more money) but they also have decided to add on a “fuck you, Clay” by declaring his hit to be an official teachable moment.
    • They have decided that Matthews’ “technique of grabbing the passer from behind the leg or legs, scooping and pulling in an upward motion, is a foul,” and is sending the tape to all officials for study.

Well, here’s a good one: (from ESPN)

  • In a letter sent to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, NFL Players Association executive director DeMaurice Smith and president of the Pro Football Hall of Fame C. David Baker on Tuesday, many high-profile Pro Football Hall of Famers said they would not attend the annual induction ceremony until Hall of Famers receive health insurance and an annual salary that includes a share of league revenue.
    • The letter outlines that the total cost for every Hall of Famer to have health insurance is less than $4 million, which is less than that of a 30-second Super Bowl ad, or about 3 cents for every $100 the league generates in revenue.
      • Compared to Major League Baseball players, who spend even one day on an MLB roster are entitled to health insurance for the rest of their lives, while players who spend 43 days on a roster get a lifelong pension. In contrast, NFL players receive no such benefits, and the players note that “the NFL is the only major American corporation that is set up this way.”
  • They also have words for national disgrace Roger Goodell, calling him “overpaid” and saying that the league “is notorious for the hard line it takes against players.”
    • “Commissioner Goodell, there are better uses for that money.”
  • Their leverage?
    • Until our demands are met, the Hall of Famers will not attend the annual induction ceremony in Canton
  • PFT, not wholly unsurprisingly, has chosen to go after the players who signed the letter, pointing out: (all are quoted directly)
    • It’s very convenient of [Lawrence] Taylor to care about this issue now that he’s retired, even though he undermined the issue when he was an active player [by crossing the 1987 picket line] and was in a better position to effect change.
    • Sanders and Warner (are) both NFL Network employees. Would they be willing to walk out on their NFL Network jobs in solidarity with the fellow players they say are being mistreated?
    • Carl Eller is listed as a signer, his name is misspelled as “Carl Ellard.” That one player’s name isn’t even spelled correctly would strongly suggest he didn’t actually participate in the drafting of the letter.
    • Of course, the cause isn’t “helping retired players” generally, it’s paying Hall of Famers specifically.
      • Hall of Famers were usually among the highest-paid players while they were active, and can still make good money with endorsements and autograph shows today. If there’s an effort to improve benefits for retired players, shouldn’t it start with the players who need the most help?

I don’t have the time right now to devote to “Hope Clicks Eternal”, my award-adjacent dive into the social media feeds of teams that either lost huge or surprisingly. However, the first two weeks did give us some delightful takes – first, some anger from down in the Bears feed,

and then some delusion from the Patriots twitter.

Truly, it must sting to be so stupid. I can’t wait to see the Seahawks feed if Dallas clobbers them in their home opener.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Hockey:preseason
    • Senators at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Oilers at Canucks – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
  •  Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Blue Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
      • Cardinals at Braves – 7:30PM | ESPN / TSN
    • AAA: Triple A National Championship
      • Memphis Redbirds vs. Durham Bulls – 7:00PM | NBCSN
        • from Columbus, OH
        • a one-game playoff
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

I’d say thank BLEERGH we only have two more days until football, but it’s Jets-Browns. JUST CALL IT A TIE NOW!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, so I kind of engaged crazy Nazi Aussie Chick tonight. Just because I could and I was in the mood to. She has threatened me with some sort of Neo-Nazi Australian death squad (I think? hard to tell really with her).

But if I get killed soon, someone please call Australia and report her.
(I’ve actually already reported the threats)

But seriously, that was the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

All I did was “World Reacts to Brick’s Dick Pic.” GIF flood.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have a history with this person. One I’m not very proud of quite frankly. Please do not make comments on this. But this is what I’m referring to for those of you who don’t already know….

https://plus.google.com/u/0/+PenelopeAvamour/posts/8LtZhS5AUvN

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn, I crack myself up.

*Not crack cocaine BTW

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. I apologize in advance if the fasting makes me cranky tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

I was expecting a lot more cat adjacent porn tonight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Rapists don’t stop. Especially if they don’t get caught. There will be more accusers.
Also, am VERY interested in the story of Bart’s mum (also a judge) making a foreclosure go away for the family of the accuser.
Kavanaugh gets confirmed, th Supreme Court is no longer legitimate. And I don’t think I’m putting too fine a point on it. Come at me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

In “Senor fell down a rabbit hole looking at the Orioles WAR” news, Chris Davis’s WAR this year is -2.9, the worst in baseball. Victor Martinez is second-worst. That’s at -1.7. Negatives are not good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

Negatives are not good.

“I disagree.”

-Ryan White

Brick Meathook

If any of you want to see some big tits, watch this footage I just shot with my new camera:
https://youtu.be/MmgGJ0HADng

Mr. Ayo

I’m not falling for this.

/Totally fell for this
//Those were huge

Brick Meathook

Here are those big tits on Vimeo, with less compression. Original is 4k/60fps, which really shows off the big-tittedness:
https://vimeo.com/290624945

Mr. Ayo

Oh snap, that’s a A380, no?

And what camera?

Brick Meathook

That is an A-380 landing on Runway 24-R at LAX. I live down the street I see these all the time.

It’s a Sony RX-100VA point & shoot. The original footage is outrageous (it loses a bit in compression uploading). This is the first video I ever shot with it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HUGE!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; now that you have a quality recording device we’ll expect quality porn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

I’m taking a 4K/60fps dick-pic movie right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

All the numbers and missing the most important ones.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reactions from around the world.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, they can’t all be so positive.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Also, no wonder you liked my videos. They were also shot with a Sony camera.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Everything I know about video compression I learned here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k540vOiipUM

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

1) That’s awesome!
2) I was right on that very road today at noon.

Brick Meathook

yeahright controls the south side, but the north side of LAX is my turf. All are welcome, within reason.

ballsofsteelandfury

I was at Westchester Emerson Adult Center, next to the golf course and the fire station. I figure I probably saw Casa De Brick…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://66.media.tumblr.com/1a80cdfc46b83b80981a122d29b74794/tumblr_ocl6abfynP1tp5il5o1_400.gif

All this filming won’t end well.

Fronkenshteen

HAI!!

fuck teh patriots

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

So today I went to ringer for my college orchestra. After rehearsal I go to get dinner with one of the other ringers and the two of us bump into one of the students (freshman clarinetist) and he says “I couldn’t believe how many people smoke pot here, even winds and brass. I figured everyone was responsible.”

And the other ringer violinist and I were just like “No, people smoke, or drink, or whatever. We have something.” What we really wanted to do was laugh at this kid for 1, thinking that only a couple people smoke pot in a music conservatory, B, thinking you can’t smoke and be responsible about it, and III, thinking we’re responsible. Also Four, the way he introduced himself to us. And some other reasons probably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Sounds like a conversation I had with my parents where the tried to tell me that cops couldn’t possibly be bad because they come from “good” families.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So apparently Budweiser now has a commercial featuring light up bases for your pint glasses with your team’s logo. I mean, that sounds lovely, but you shouldn’t have put it to a droning STOMP STOMP CLAP.
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YOU FOOLISH HUMANS HAVE SUMMONDED BOLTMAN TO SELL YOUR ALCOHOLIC HUMAN EXCRAMENT WATER?! THEY SHOULD NOW ADD A RED VERSION, THAT FLOWS WITH MARKETING EXECUTIVE BLOOD FOR THOSE ON A DIET! OOOOHHHH YEAAHHHHH!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The Baltimore Orioles notched loss #108 tonight. I know I’ve joked about this before, but I really am starting to think I could walk on for league minimum. I mean hell, at least I’d try.

Well, at least I’d ACT like I’m trying. Whatta bunch of fucking losers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously…. The Orioles lost tonight at home to the Blue Jays. The Blue Jays are 69-82 and parked firmly in 4th place in the AL East.

THE ORIOLES ARE A FULL 26 GAMES WORSE THAN THAT. I MEAN YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY TRY TO SUCK THIS MUCH DON’T YOU???????

Wakezilla

Reminds me of the Houston Astros back in 2012 when they were lucky to get a hit in a game

Mr. Ayo

You’re really burying the lede here. This team has 108 losses and is 9 games WORSE than the putrid Royals.

Wakezilla

The hell happened to the Royals? Weren’t they supposed to be a powerhouse for the next 10 years, 3 years ago?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

A team with a collective 0.0 WAR would be expected to win 48 games in a season. The Orioles may not even reach that. By that logic, you have been more valuable to the Baltimore Orioles than the average Oriole player.

Senor Weaselo

Incidentally, the net WAR of the entire team according to Fangraphs is… 6.5!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Mitch Hedberg was a funny guy. Unfortunately, he died young.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF8MpK-yK5o

Unsurprised

He loved drugs. Except for that last time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, the last time never goes well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

hey, may we all be so lucky to go out doing sommet we love like that!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Nothing greater than going out making a final post that gets bannered.

King Hippo

Heard this on the radio today, reminded me of how much I enjoy it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8xL5dbJio

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

#BFIB extend to an 8-1 lead. HUZZAH!!

/appreciate the temporary reprieve from hyper-consciousness of being terrible at all aspects of life

nomonkeyfun

So if a tie is like kissing your sister, is a Browns-Jets tie like kissing a realllllly fugly sister?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not in Kentucky.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

there it’s more like a finger up her ass?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mr. Hippo; it’s whatever the hillbillies want it to be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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entropy

Hahaha yeah you guys get your jokes in now, but when Brick Legoman leads the Jets to a glorious, winning 9-7 season in four years, you’ll be laughing out the other side of your ass!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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entropy

Now that I think of it, that phrase makes no damn sense. Wouldn’t laughing out the other side of your ass just be laughing? Or is is it some kind of urethra exclamation?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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entropy

Squints became a man, that day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Fuuuuuck.

She was only 33 in this movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

There is nothing as perpetually disappointing as the WWE 2K series. If you’re not gonna try for photo-realism, cartoon the shit up a little and make a game actually worth playing. Either look like I’m controlling a live show, or make it fun, since they fail annually to pull either off.

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entropy

I was wondering when Matthew Fox got hair extensions and joined the WWE, but now I realize it’s just a terrible character map in a video game.

I think I’d prefer my version of reality.

Gratliff
Senor Weaselo

“Fun? What’s that?” -Video game devs

entropy

Hoo boy the Jets on TNF!!! God bless them and their shitty Defense and highly suspect running game, they’re gonna give it their all and STILL find a way to beat Cleveland because, well, Cleveland. God this is going to be a long season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I hate when that happens. And since I’ve seen enough movies to get free popcorns at some chains, well …

Thank God I’m not an usher.

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

Now that’s the kind of ass you can hit with a car antenna

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Adrian Peterson, everybody.

Wakezilla

Kind of want to know more about the lady in the mirror watching the other lovely lady pull up her pants

Brick Meathook

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So are the Orioles wearing brail on their jerseys because their pitchers are blind or their hitters?

herodotus450

I for one will not rest until I see Brett Kavanaugh’s long form rape innocence certificate.

Gratliff

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Brick Meathook

That’s a good price.

Brocky

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Wakezilla

She’s fine, but she’s got way too much ink work going on.

Gratliff

You know, I’ve grown fond of it over the years and I don’t know why

Brocky

I think female tattoo’s used to mean “girls who are easy with less inhibitions”

now more people see them as ‘girls who are less inherently judgmental”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It seems to be growing; a lot of people prefer painted ladies. Over the years I have become more accepting too. That said; no matter who is sporting it; a shitty tattoo is a shitty tattoo. One of the convincers was a time when I was dating an attractive woman who I was sure I was getting nowhere with. We were out drinking on a nice spring night and she asked if I wanted to see her tattoo. I said “Sure.” thinking it would be on her foot or shoulder, but then down go the pants and a nice teddy bear right by the kitty. I was very pleasantly shocked.

Cool story, bro.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This a well done teddy bear, but I can’t say my artist sense is good or my objective balance was intact.

[consider changing my name to Hobo Chuck and quitting]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Big ups to Anna Faris or her double for apparently going commando.

Or at least that’s what it looks like when I ran this through a gif exploder.

https://imgur.com/a/KfVnDd1

Wakezilla

Me too, just some of those tatoos are kind of shitty and the one covering up her ass is awful

litre_cola

So Rivers told Dan Patrick he wants more than 8 kids. His wife is all in apparently.

Ian Scott McCormick

Far be it from me to tell them how to procreate, but doesn’t he need to be all in?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rex Grossman once impregnated a woman from across the room.

litre_cola

She was on a fly route.

Brocky

was she wearing the jersey of a team other than the one rex grossman was then playing for

herodotus450

If Marchand or Tavares or maybe Auston Matthews don’t suffer career ending injuries in meaningless pre-season games tonight, is it really even worth it?

Redshirt

Just gotta say, impressive move by that Democrat to hold on to the letter until just before the Kavanaugh Committee Confirmation Vote. Every good Euchre player knows the way to win is to use your left bower at the right time and they played it great. In the past, I’d say its a low move, but the Republicans have lowered the bar so much now its okay by comparison. Which in of itself is one hell of an indictment about the current state of government, but that’s not important right now.

I just hope they remember to hear both sides before they assign guilt. I admit something in this smells fishy, especially the other guy, but that smell could just be the dead fish that Brett Kavanaugh keeps in his pocket at all times. Why does he carry a dead fish? I don’t know, but that doesn’t matter right now. What import is that every man has a right of innocence until he is proven guilty, no matter if he’s even a good guy. It may suck but after all…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRXqFUTG1VU

Unsurprised

I think you’re giving those idiots way too much credit. By which I mean “any.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

lol. Fuck you Jesus.

h
ttps://images.sex.com/images/pinporn/2015/10/19/300/14077117.gif

Fronkenshteen

Just so much wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. You’ll get it someday. Hang in there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hate this argument. The GOP was aware of this to have a letter ready to go from 65 women to defend this guy, they didn’t care he was accused of sexual assault, just that they could be ready to defend him, and yet the Dems are the one playing dirty politics.

Brocky

So… random thought…..

who here knows anything about the maintenance of riding lawn mowers?

I got a new one this spring, stopped working last week, warranty place came and picked it up, called today said there’s water in the fuel line.

its pretty much guaranteed that no one willingly put water in the fuel tank, so how the fuck did this happen, given that the mower is kept in a shed. Mower repair guys are stumped as well

herodotus450

The water wasn’t yellow and urea-scented, was it? Cause if so then no, I don’t know anything about it.

Brick Meathook

Is there a prize if I know the answer?

Warthog

If the fuel tank was close to empty for a while, it’s possible for water condensation to occur.

Senor Weaselo
WCS
herodotus450

Why the hell is that AAA baseball game between two teams not from Columbus being held in Columbus?

herodotus450

But then you get a sponsor like Gildan who comes along, you can’t say no.

Brick Meathook

GILDAN IS MY PREFERRED BRAND OF UNDERPANTS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

The contrast between the grace Republicans are extending to Kavanaugh due to him being 17 at the time and their ncredibly harsh laws they generally support about treating teeangers as adults in the criminal justice system, is more reason why we should eat them and their lobbyists.

Who’s with me in this Modest Proposal?

Sit down Johnathan Swift. You’re already dead.

SonOfSpam

At least they’re consistent; remember how much compassion they showed Trayv-

You know what? That’s not even a tiny bit funny in even the most ironic way. Sorry.

SonOfSpam

I don’t think any-age girls do a damn thing for this guy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

” A 17 year old boy should be shaving mother’s legs, not speaking to the sex that has cooties”

–Pence, Mike–

Redshirt

Uh, before I vote, what about Moderate Conservatives? Will they be assigned as a lowered caste or as cattle?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I ain’t getting food poisoning again; nope. Feed them to the pigs al la Deadwood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Believe in something.

Even if it means sacrificing everything. (except money)

Just do it. (Buy our shoes plz)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um, sure….. ok….

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Unsurprised

Her brother is Erik Prince and the family fortune was built on founding Amway. Psychopathy is clearly a dominant genetic trait.

scotchnaut

/Apropos of nothing, I love spiral staircases

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Can’t fool me-that’s the cochlea of a diplodocus.

SonOfSpam

/cums

Brick Meathook

You are not.

SonOfSpam

Most NASCAR fans do.

Redshirt

Same here. Whenever I find one I run full speed up it. Especially if its a small narrow one.

I’m weird.

Petronel

There’s a place about half an hour away from here that makes them. Their signpost is a tiny little sign, like an old-fashioned street sign, on top of a little blue metal spiral. Makes me smile whenever I drive past.

Yep, here they are

Petronel

Spiral lighthouse stairs from Silent Hill (the bane of speedrunners everywhere), and the “Ever Downward” multi-level (literally) one from Silent Hill 4.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well this kind of sucks. If the Browns lose to the Jets on Thursday, it means they will break their losing streak against the Raiders the following week in Oakland. I think I have made this happen just by realizing it.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I am in VancoUver and am about to be so honUored as to have bUUrs with PintDuceRick in a few hoUrs. Apparently I brought San Diego with me, since it is sunny, clear and wonderful. I just want to make sure that…

[Stomp]

No…

[Stomp]

NONONONONO

[CLAP]

Run! You fools!

SonOfSpam

WHOOZ GOOD PUPPIES??? YOU’RE THE GOOD PUPPIES!!!

/overnights steaks to the dogs

SonOfSpam

“…@Patriots laid low and didn’t waist energy on full potential”

Tawmmy’s entire tweet was just awful, but the mistakes here hurt my eyes and brain so much I may have to drink a lot of beer tonight to feel better. Or to feed my crippling alcoholism, whatever.

SonOfSpam

Yep, checks out.

Do I need antibiotics from viewing the picture?