Anyone ever all set to go on a vacation, and then suddenly the morning before have someone dump a giant project on you? This happened to me two Thursdays ago, with the kicker (a few fan bases recoil in horror at that word) being that I had prepared for this and had sent the person everything they had asked for prior to that date. They knew I was going, and yet, the morning before, needed everything done before I left. Shockingly, my boss recognized this, and basically backed me up in saying, “You’re shit out of luck and jolly well fucked.” So away on vacation I went, up to Seattle for a family wedding (THERE WAS DRAMA!) and then Vancouver, where I got to drankin’ with BeerGuyRob and the BeerGuy/GalDogs. One of those things was more enjoyable than the other, and I’ll let you obviously infer which it was.
Anyway, I am finally back in the office today and was all ready to have a somewhat easy day as I pick up the pieces and plow through the slog that was my inbox with my boss is in China for a week. “NAWT SO FAST!” cries that person with the project from before. They had been sitting, quietly, biding their time, awaiting my return for that exact moment to pick up where things left off. And best of all, they put zero time into working on the QUESTIONS that I sent them before I left. In fact, they found issues with nearly everything I had previously prepared all of a sudden TODAY, which they had previously approved! It’s enough to make you want to grab them by the throat and watch as your hands dig into their soft neck meat and slowly drain the life away from their hapless… Oh, uh, I mean, TO THE GAME!
Pittsburgh @ Tampa Bay The Rape Bowl
Oh dear god, why did I agree to this? With the latest news from Stormy Daniel’s new book, we get an even more gross depiction of THE BEN actively hunting his prey in the natural stalking grounds of a hotel. Was there requests to come into her room and rejections? Oh yeah. Did he try and hold the door open while she pushed against it? Mmmmmhmmm. Did he hang around for some time after that door was closed and pathetically knock while muttering “Oh come on!” YOU BETCHA. The Yinzers sit at a humorous 0-1-1 and are getting pretty close digging themselves in too deep.
Meanwhile, BloodSugarFitzMagic will likely be starting his final game for the Bucs in leau of the Crab and Pussy Pilferer’s 3-game suspension, and has played far better than one might expect of your usual Harvard Man. 2-0, and dare I say, pushing for a chance to keep his yob? Probably not the case, but depending on how Winston does upon his return, his tenure could be coming to a sputtering end.
So what happens tonight? Well, we haven’t had a tie yet this week, and having the Steelers boast an 0-1-2 record seems like the most hilarious outcome, so that’s what I’m going for. I’m sure you’ll have your opinions, so get with it and go make ’em!
[Banner image via]
Fitz is back to his normal self.
It just feels right…
I would have expected after they named Fitz the starter.
[is grateful that “Body Weight” penalties aren’t enforced for coaches]
-Andy Reid
– Charlie Weis
FITZSPASTIC!
That throw just earned Winston 20 million
He’s a pumpkin!
That clicking sound is all teh Yahoo dropping of BloodSugarFitzMagic
Sheered the beard.
Well, this is over.
“Well said, Boog”
“Thanks, Tess.”
“Nice job, Witt.”
“Now down to Trace …”
Tony Dungy is the first Bucs coach to be inducted into Tampa Bay’s “Coffin of Honor”.
But not his son. NO QUEERS!!!
Witten is actually a better color man than I thought he’d be.
But he’s white. Oh, you mean color commentary.
Gritty vs. original Pierre the Pelican vs. The BrooklyKnight. WHO YA GOT?
Gritty wipes the floor with them and then faces the King Cake Baby and San Antonio MethCoyote in a tag-team final.
?width=534&height=712&fit=crop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoMiq0CxkQI
BEN GET HEAD OWIE
The Baltimore Orioles are well on their way to loss #111. Six games to go, history awaits.
Just waiting for the leaders to slip up.
Yeah, they’re waiting to make their move.
Like waiting a really, really long time.
I’m at the game. Only run was on a wild pitch
You’re at Fenway right now??????????????
Now I’m even more jealous of you than I was before.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Strangest football stadium I’ve ever seen…
Can’t do worse than the ‘62 Mets or whatever year that was Tigers! (‘03?)
120 and 119, I believe, records for their leagues.
More like Ryan SquibPatrick, amirite HP nerds????!!
(I fucking hate myself so much for remember this obscure piece of trivia)
LOL
That’s legit.
Oooops, BeardMajik ain’t looking too good tonight.
Whatever will the NFL Network talk about this week?
Guess they’ll just go off the air.
Lizard people.
“Ssssss!”
Speaking of Peyton, remember Peyton Hillis?
Those were heady days in the Madden universe.
Who knew the third Barber twin was still playing?
Trump told that joke to Catinka at Bangtasia. She didn’t like it too much
Hockey is gonna be unfuckingbearable this year what with the Leafs being good.
And no EK65 for us either. Just put a bullet in my fucking head and/or bring back the Whalers.
Is it because of the brass?
They’ll find a way to blow it, what with not having any defense. Plus, Montreal is looking to suuuuuuuck. And there is no other Ontario team.
Gojetsgo
Ice Giants are going to put my liver into overdrive the season
Habs are going to be a tire fire.
Canucks might lose every game 4-3 tho, which could be amusing
FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD
FACEMASKS FOR THE FACEMASK THRONE
And the #BFIB have drawn level!!
Otherwise known as the Large Bird Bastard Men
indeed we are!
I guess Miko Grimes is gonna be the latest NFL-affiliated personality to pitch an online fit after AB just pantsed her husband on-field like that.
TMI: Everytime Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” comes on the radio, I work around the lyrics to make it about Christian Okoye.
And I picture burning arrowheads.
I forgot that Rodgers was still on the Bucs’ roster. I’m glad that the career of Jacquizz didn’t… prematurely finish.
Team MRSA doing all they can to gift this game to the Stillers.
To be fair, the dog did the smrt thing.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
This is my first time seeing Booger’s chair. That’s fucking stupid
Jeff Ross looks like Telly Savalas with freezer burn
That stadium wall hit Johnson so hard that James Harrison just got fined $50,000.
Reggie Bush is screaming “SUE!” at his TV.
While Emmitt Smith yells “SHOE!”
Nah, he fucked a Kardashian. He’s got late-stage syphillis-related dementia by now.
I’d hate to have that, wouldn’t you?
– Trent Green, to his blender
But but… she was the best one.
Lamar Odom yells, “THIRTY THREE PINK SHELL CRABS” at the TV
“WHAT?”
-A Boy.
Trent Green is screaming gibberish at a wall sconce.
This might be the first time a wall is called for Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
Impossible. Tom Brady isn’t playing.
That’s what we call a Buccaneer Broadside right there, folks.
Lambeau Leap? This is the Tampa Thud.
The Raymond James Maims
Isiah Johnson might be ded.
Big TD run by Vance McDonald, big grab by Juju. How much is AB gonna sulk and pout this week if the Stillers go on to lose this one too?
Hippo is watching this fine footy contest from the Vidant OR waiting room (GREAT free WiFi, by the way), as my oldest kid done got hit by a car today. She is getting her fractured femur fixed up while the ex-wife and I get a break from hearing “my butt hurts” on constant loop. 😀
It was deffo hoodlums, but insured hoodlums, thank fuck. There will be lawyering done and damages collected. Kiddo will be fine. Got lucky all things considered. A couple of EZU sophomore ladies were right behind the hoodlums, kept my kid safe (one a nursing major) until the police arrived, then WAITED LIKE 3 HOURS to talk to us and make sure we got the full story.
I may have to quit talking shit about this university.
Jeeezus. Sorry man. Hope she pulls through. Glad she’s doing well though.
Holy shit. Glad she’s doing ok, relative to the circumstances.
Well at least now we know where Donte Stallworth went to.
Goddamn man! Sorry she’s in pain, happy she’s alive. I would be happy to hunt down that pack of hoodlumz and kill them with a nailgun, cheese grater, and vintage broadsword.
Seriously, I’ll put her in my thoughts and prayers and positive vibes.
Based on what the students and the paramedics told me…I wouldn’t be surprised if the State Trooper did. He was well pissed off. I presume we will be meeting that fella tomorrow.
Oof! glad things turned out okay given the circumstances.
I have found that those Pirates of ECU are decent kids.
Good to hear she’ll heal, and if you need an alibi, you were here with us all night.
Indeed! Not solely the recalcitrant drunk loons I stereotyped.
Oh Jeebus dude.
Let me know if I can do anything.
Oof, That must have been a tough call to hear.
Fortunately, the roommate got to me first. I am unnaturally calm under such circumstances. And this has been the Year of Unpleasant Calls.
Shit. Good to hear she’s stable at least.
God Fucking Damn It. Lawrence Taylor strikes again!
But seriously, it’s good that she’s going to be okay and that it’s not worse. If you need another body for your angry mob, or just an alibi ;-), or anything else, I’m here.
Quality LT callback!!
What everybody else said. Good to know she’ll be OK. Happy to also volunteer for mob as needed.
Would the KKK hate JuJu smith because he’s black or because of his name?
YES
You could pay me a third of whatever Chris Conte is making this year and you wouldn’t see any notable decline in the on-field product for this Bucs D.
Checking in from the dirt Patriots- dirt ratbirds game. Observation: the wave needs to die a slow, painful, death.
“Working on it.”
-Scott Pruitt
Hey, it has the Wave AND Seven Nation Army. That’s grounds for Dresden levels of fire bombing right there.
First team to play their cornerbacks wins!
BLEERGH FEASTS TONIGHT
Oh, Giada …
Giada is not quite twice my age, but I would literally not even hesitate for a second were I a single man.
I have a home made version of linguine sauce that I think she would enjoy.
Not clam sauce? I mean, it was right there.
That’s where the zest goes
It’s a thick, spicy sauce packed with protein
IT’S CUM, RIGHT? THAT’S THE JOKE HERE I BET
No, he said linguine sauce, not OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Plus she’d probably make me breakfast in the morning.
Si!
I see Pittsburgh is still working through their “can’t sign a decent kicker” phase but has grown out of their “so we’ll just always go for two” phase.
Has any one called fitzy “The Harvard Harpoon”? Or “The Harvard Slam Poon”?
Well “Boston Strangler” is taken
That’s Ben’s favorite party game
The Harvard Hurler.
“Oh, I’m stealing that!”
B. Kavanaugh
“He’s coming into his own” is a worthless cliche that always makes me Butthead-giggle a little bit.
Incest is never cool.
It is hot though, amirite?
One of those “This is Great”‘s is coming from Capitol Hill!
well, SOMEBODY wants to alienate DFO’s West Virginia demographic!
It is a game the whole family can play, though
Sponsored by Parker Brothers and Sisters.
THE ARISTOCRATS!
Not according to Pornhub. At least from what I have heard.
Not sure who it is but someone sounds a helluva lot like Tim Meadows.
It izzzzz tha Ladiesss Man
Booger? I guess all black ppl sound alike two Scotchy smh 😀
That’s called Courvoisier Voice.