NFL News:
- Josh Gordon has filed for reinstatement to the NFL.
- If reinstated, he immediately becomes eligible for further punishment from his December 20th suspension.
- He missed the Pats final two games & the playoffs.
- Protocol dictates he’s looking at another six regular season games, unless ol’ Rog counts the playoff games missed.
- If reinstated, he immediately becomes eligible for further punishment from his December 20th suspension.
- Also awaiting further punishment is Orlando, Florida, which has been chosen to host the 2020 Pro Bowl.
- This will be the fourth year in a row.
- It is not known if other cities bid for “honor”, but the NFL shines that turd by proclaiming, “We’re thrilled to return to Orlando for the fourth year in a row and bring the Pro Bowl experience to the city of Orlando, our fans, players and partners.”
- Not wanting to be punished are the citizens of Winnipeg, as only 8,944 tickets have been sold for the Raiders preseason game versus Green Bay.
A bad idea machine. - Florio states the obvious reasons:
- One of the problems could be the price point. Via Brooks, the cheapest ticket costs $191.50 Canadian. This equates to $143.70 in American dollars, under the current conversion rate. And that’s a lot of money for a glorified scrimmage in full pads. Even if it’s the supposedly critical third preseason game.
- Florio states the obvious reasons:
- Robert Quinn has broken his hand during scrimmages.
- This is on the heels of perennially injured DL Sean Lee being hurt again.
- Quinn is expected to have surgery on the hand & sit out the preseason.
- Like Zeke!
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Brewers at Pirates – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Yankees at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
- Tennis:
- Rogers Cup – 7:00PM
- Men’s – from Montreal – Sportsnet / Tennis Channel
- Women’s – from Toronto – Sportsnet1 / Tennis Channel
- Rogers Cup – 7:00PM
- The Ocho
- The ESPN (&TSN2) annual experiment with showing things glorified in the movie “Dodgeball”.
- 7:00 – 2019 World Sign Spinning Championship as part of The Ocho
- 7:30 – Slippery Stairs as part of The Ocho
- 8:00 – 2019 WCO World Cornhole Cup
- 9:00 – America’s Dodgeball Continental Cup: USA vs. Canada
- 10:00 – 2019 Spikeball College Championship as part The Ocho
- 11:00 – World Axe Throwing League as part of The Ocho
- The ESPN (&TSN2) annual experiment with showing things glorified in the movie “Dodgeball”.
You know what isn’t stupid? Being part of the [DFO] EPL footytipping. It’s real easy to join:
- Go to this site right here.
- The password is “doorfliesopen”
- Create a username & password for the footytips site that is separate from your ESPN account.
- Even though both are part of ESPN, they are separate entities, so keep them that way.
- Profit!
I’m unsure about the last one, but there have been rumours of a surprise for the winner.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE_MpQhgtQ8
I’m going to need to wash everything I wore today.
Now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBX0XuDLEIs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLVXiVDxIHk
I just broke a glass. Empty, because I’d drank everything that was in it. The question now is whether that is a sign that I should stop drinking, or a sign that I should keep drinking.
And so I ask myself: “What would Dok do?”
The answer is clear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cqvuFx9TtI
Strait to the white wine.
That’s what Dok would do.
Keep drinking.
That reminds me that I need to find an older OBF glass because I managed to break mine (I still can’t believe those crazy fucks used to sell glass for people to consume their beers out of at a beer festival and only began using plastic in 2016.)
Apparently the answer was “fall asleep” (Kavanaugh style)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlucfrfxAUc
My brother went to see OUATIH at the Cinema dome.
I just took the strangest journey in a long time.
And it was epic!
yeah right, Rikki Tikki Deadly and DJ TAJ went to The Greek.
Please apologize to TAJ on my behalf for not saying hello; I was in a rush to get back to my seat so as not to miss James.
No worries. We made that by the slimmest margin.
Holy shit were they good.
Well, no problem there . . .
So we’re landing two tickets at the new Raiders stadium. In some vain attempt to soften the PSL blow, I was told how UNLV will be moving games there too so I can get dibs on tickets to some
HAWT MOUNTAIN WEST ACTION.
Might as well tell me Canes gives me some of that gross cole slaw if I order their biggest combo box.
Does that include rodeos and monster truck shows?
TO THE SLEEP!
Yeah, I’m done. Those there WHITE IRISH DRINKERS will have to fight on their own.
I’m so glad I have never had kids and have no plan to have kids
There are so many positives.
THIS IS WHY WE ARE LATE WITH THE BILLS BECAUSE YOU DON’T CHECK THE BOX NO WE ARE LATE WITH THE BILLS BECAUSE YOU DRINK TOO MUCH #WHITE IRISH DRINKERS
OMG THEY REALLY DO THIS AS A TV SHOW
I should totally fake a Boston accent and pretend the dudes I meet are like artistic and shit. IT’S TOTALLY WORTH KISSING ME BECAUSE I THINK IT’S WEIRD TO HIT YOUR FAMILY
BUT THERE REALLY IS A SHOW CALLED WHITE IRISH DRINKERS I DIDN’T MAKE THIS UP
Random drunkDok is a quality addition to the open thread.
I have some really dumb travel planned in September, also going to Raiders game. I’ll try to keep my appendage in! Also, WOO possibly
Raiders in Vegas next year should be a DFO trip.
Sponsored by “Bad Idea Jeans”
Oh fuck yes. I will use my FB ad credits for this
Raiiiiddddeeeeerrtttzzzzzzzz
HAHA THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON IN THAT BASEMENT! I HOPE IT’S NOT DRUGS LOL
When you’ve switched to beer cause you can’t be trusted with wine, but your beer is heavy 😀 😀
h/t Buddy
Goddammit this is all so stupid and funny.
It’s good to see Buddy’s been keeping busy during the off-season.
You might think it’s weird that I started binge-watching “Enterprise.” But, I’VE GOT FAITH….. IN MY HEAAAAAAART…
“We’re just gonna leave him here so we can do the job for Jimmy Cheeks”
THIS SHOW LOL THE ROLLING STONES LOL
I’m at this cigar lounge reading and I see the tv is on nhl network. I’m sure it’s all the stations now but what the hell is the deal with all their “guests” being dudes in their mancaves back home with all this clutter and a couple jerseys behind them?
No wonder everyone just watches YouTube #content. It’s easily as sophisticated as this and way more convenient.
It’s entirely possible you are also watching White Irish Drinkers, but it’s the second season, White Irish Drinkers, HOCKEY VERSION
True.
Because I know nothing about hockey nor the thing you mentioned.
“Stretching the Old Duke”
Really guys? That’s a real thing someone has ever said?
Isn’t that a euphemism for needing a bigger klansman hood?
It’s Boston, so yeah, probably, but with a hole for a cig
Wow, Dok really is drunk I think.
The internet needs a record. There’s only us and an unfortunate waitress who remember ASS HERPES
Or more accurately, that you won’t get ass herpes from sitting in Cowboy wee 😀
And for the record, I was not the one worried about ASS HERPES. I believe that was you. I just didn’t enjoy sitting in warm piss.
I was just entertained that everyone was so shocked when I said ASS HERPES. No one likes sitting in piss, but that’s something you always have to be on the watch for if you a chick.
Well, to be fair…..you said it about a hundred times. While hitting vodka shots.
You win.
?resize=499%2C274&ssl=1
Nobody forgets ass herpes. And it spreads.
Where is Bensenhurst?
How’d you get to Brooklyn?
/It’s spelled Bensonhurst
“I haven’t kicked you in the balls in years”
ART
Hah! What you call an Irish 7 course meal?
Six pack and a tater.
LMFAO
If I had kids, grown kids, I would tell them they need a real job, not a job from a guy named Whitey!
Recommended for you: White Irish Drinkers
Yes. I will watch this. Oh dear.
This is a real movie! I am watching it! OMG! THERE ARE STROBE LIGHTS HAHAHAHA IT STARTS IN BROOKLYN IN THE 70S!
I’m white, my ancestry is very Irish, and I drink. Has there been a show featuring me this whole time?!
I’ve watched 30 seconds, and there have already been brothers falling out and telling the other to ‘leave the flashlight, asshole’ it’s beautiful
Yeah WCS….it’s called “Hoarders” .
Throw some shit away already.
As friends? Absolutely agreed.
I miss Venice and Santa Monica.
Just saying…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtBbinpK5XI
The fuck is that movie? I’m so confused
I still quite like people from Pakistan
https://youtu.be/UD_y44jsG0A
Rabbit means mouth I think?
This gif would make much more sense if Dok had not edited her comment.
Never mind.
Better now. I like this better.
BUT NOW YOU MADE ME LOOK STUPID!!!!
LIKE EVERY OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE!!!!
(LOL I give up)
Nonsense, it still makes sense. It’s just maybe about rabbits, and rabbits are awesome.
If they have braces
Oh HELL YES
Come on, Dok
Too ra loo ra loo ra
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASwge9wc-eI
There was a lovely person at the gym the other morning, with a Wanker (bbc, no not Big Black Cock, but British Broadcasting Corporation) tshirt at the gym the other morning, and I didn’t ask, but I probably should of.
BTW, Jeopardy is rerunning last year’s teen tournament. And I really want to stab the girl who is the current champ.
She’s cute. And smart. But her voice is so annoying I would literally probably kill her in less than 10 minutes.
I’m drunk and I already spilled red wine on my naked self and there was stuff etc. And wow the UK is pretty racists but they pretend they aren’t
But they’re on a whole other level of swearing.
Is bloody bollocks really swearing?
For context, I’m watching Made in England and I’ve had somewhere between 2 and not 2 bottles of wine
“Half” naked?
Yeah, I ain’t buying that.
I’m pretty cagey on fractions
1/3rd?
On the plus side wine tannins are great for the skin.
EPL prize,
Ooooh. A Sonic!
Passport photo? Already have one though.
I saw those today. Almost bought.
Stuck with Monster.
Is it just me, or is CervezaChicoRoboerto writing a whole lot of shit for someone who is supposed to be on vacation?
How would one get involved in Spikeball?
Walk down to the beach. Drink heavily. Douse yourself in axe body spray, shed your dignity, and throttle up to full douche. Someone will auto enroll you in a spikeball league.
I’ve joined the EPL Tipping league and all I can say is the race for second-to-last is wide open, because I have the basement locked down.
So is it, my girlfriend is surprising me with a threesome with her and her hit best friend type of surprise, or I walk in on her fucking my brother type of surprise?
Plot twist: Your brother is hot and her best friend!
How about a goddamn spoiler alert, asshole?
The more I see of the Orioles the more I’m convinced that MLB needs to find a way to make relegation work.
And Detroit is even worse!
Alright, settle down over there.
found a funny:
When the moon hits your knees
And you mispronounce trees
Sycamore
I joined the EPL tipping pool and think the E stands for equestrian
There is no horsey team. I done checked.
How does one join said pool?
Put on trunks and dive in
Where? For the love of God, where is the pool!?
Link above
I thought it was Erection and now I gotta rethink my picks.
I have no respect for people work in any capacity in the finance industry,
But I mean, can’t you just look at the numbers and SEE the value they create
I’m currently dealing with the grifters working at the title company while I sell my house. I’ve figured the entire self-brainwashing of people who work in that rotten industry — If things go well, they did their job perfectly (AND IT WASN’T EVEN THAT HARD!); if there are any issues whatsoever, just shurg and blame the system that their industry spends millions to propogate.
If our mass shooters would target the right people like them, I’d be all for 200 round magazines.
Anybody with “disrupt” or “thought leader” in their LinkedIn bio should be immediately PURGED.
Bro, close some deals, bro
Joe’s just happy to escape that shithole, third world country of Baltimore
Hello elite-ness mah old fren…
Hippo really hates Robert Quinn. I hope he broke his masturbating hand.
THE MANY FACES OF JOE FLACCO (PART I)
Confused
Confused
Confused
Pouty
Confused after sticking a cigarette in his ear
Confused
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrG-REWdV6A&t
I signed up for my company’s 401k this week but I don’t think I can run that far.
Tape up your nipples so they don’t bleed.
Good advice any day.
You get extra “grittiness” points if you cross the finish while shitting all over yourself.
It was my understanding that “grittiness” was a sliding scale based on what you ate prior to the race.
I thought it was from using the asphalt like the dog uses the rug to clean yourself.
It’s not even 250 miles.
“You’ll do fine. Just sign this and everything will be okay.”
-The Asics Corporation
reading this in Barney Gumbel voice made it even funnier
BURP!!
I read it in Steven Wright’s.