There’s much talk of drinkling and fooding in the early thread so I know that everyone is doing it right proper today. The forty-five minutes I spent on the elliptical (god, I hate that motherfucker) won’t even begin to justify the calories that I’ll be absorbing through the day but we all like to pretend, right? And this tilt-doing the research for the intro it’s remarkable how well coached these teams are, the disparate weapons each squadoo has, the game-planning that’s been done to get here… Everything about these two teams is so impressive. So, as Guga Foods would say, Let’s Do It!
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Chiefs:
-Everywhere you look it’s strength against strength against strength. The Chiefs started the season looking like last season’s Shoot ’em up squad that had to out-score everyone and yes, they have some of those same attributes but now they can actually stop people-namely, outside receivers.
-San Fran’s stifling D plays zone coverage the second-most of all teams. Wanna guess which football tosser had the highest QBR rating against zone coverage? Yeah, that Mahomes kid.
-San Fran has only trailed by more than 7 points just once all season long. But Andy Reid’s record after getting a bye in regular and postseason is a gaudy 23-5.
-In bottling up receivers the Chiefs D has allowed the 3rd-most catches to the tight end position. Kittles has been vewy, vewy qwiet the past two weeks but he may have to be the gamebreaker today if San Fran has to match scores. He’ll most likely be defended off and on by Honey Badger who has been very effective in a ‘roaming’ role this season.
-It certainly seems as though the Niners own the best d-line in the biz and the numbers back them up. When Armstead, Ford, Bosa and Buckner are on the field at the same time they get a pressure rate (just think of a fast-collapsing pocket) of 44%. On third and fourth down that rate rises to a ridiculous 57%.
-So Mahomes under pressure-I wonder how his numbers look when he has to throw in 2.5 seconds or less. [shuffles through notes] Ah, here it is-he’s 218 for 300 on his completions (72%) with 16 TD’s and no intercepts. Jesus Christ.
-I took a look at prop bets and the one that makes me curious is Mahomes running yardage at 24.5 or 30.5, depending where you look. He’s run for 53 in each game, you know there’ll be at least one designed run for him, you know he’ll get flushed out of the pocket a few times and you know he’s going to take off if there’s a long ball play and Hill is covered and the open middle of the field beckons. Am I missing something here?
-Prediction Time: I don’t think this game will get away from the Niners. I do want Reid to get a ring and not be saddled with the ‘couldn’t get it done in the big game’ albatross. I am all for Mahomes getting a Super Bowl under his belt on his way to eclipsing Brady as the best QB of all time over the next 15-18 years. Let’s do 31-28 Chiefs.
How about you? Where’d you put the moneys? Who was the first to bring up politics out of context? Who’s the sloppy drunk in your gang? You didn’t burn the nachos did you? Fill some space down below.
So, will Shanahan be more remembered for 28-3 as OC for ATL or 20-10 as HC for SF?
Good game, though…
Andy Reid is going to the White House to eat ALL THE HAMBERDERS!
I’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate Andy Reid on his now inevitable and completely unjustified election to the Hall of Fame.
The Amazon Postgame Show: Democracy Dies In Darkness
“Andy Reid can almost taste it*”
*the post game buffet
Andy Reid hasn’t been this happy since the last time McDonald’s brought back the McRib.
Quick what were the odds on “Andy Reid has a heart attack immediately after the game”?
That all you can eat buffet is gonna be going broke tonight
Kyle Shanahan is cursed as fuck. Gotta love it.
Good for the Chefs.
San Fran will be back.
Back to 3rd place in the NFC West
THAT RUN I CALL IT 1906, BECAUSE IT HAS LEFT SAN FRANCISCO DEVASTATED AND IN FLAMES!!!
Oh yeah, it’s really over now.
Fuck, KC -1.5 was a good bet after all.
Game, set, and a big ol’ matcha cream layer cake to KC and Andy!
Andy Reid: /cums in walrus
Someone get Andy away from the sea mammals, please
Deactivated Shady, who would’ve known to slide in the red zone on that play smh
Oh Jimmy G you’re just too pretty for this world.
I like Kyle Shanahan but his attire is poor.
Eat your heart out Andy Reid.
“I can eat my heart?”
Andy R., Kansas City, MO
Eh, it’s been done
His doctors all made him sign a waiver
Too hardened by cholesterol
ANDY DID IT
That was a “fall at the 1 moment” but that would be dagger.
Congrats Chiefs
Game. Blouses.
Couldn’t be more happy for a Damien if I was Satan
Well you’d hate to just throw the ball up for grabs on fourth down.
On the one hand, a bunch of headdress-wearing racists will go home happy tonight. On the other hand, ultimate dipshit Jed York will go home sad. So it’s hard to say which outcome is positive.
OTTO
MAN
LIVES
Everyone knew you couldn’t risk taking a lead over the Chiefs, but the Niners did it anyway and it’s their own fault
Now I gotta wear my KC long sleeve shirt my staff got for me to work tomorrow. Like Irene Cara said, “What a feeling!”.
Enjoy it.’
Ha! That replay shows the back judge blowing his whistle on that play
One of the “we’ll play it” moments.
Andy Reid signaling for the appetizers.
“The play is dead, there is no illegal touching, nor is there a just and loving God. We are all here for but a nanosecond in geologic time scale and our existence is at best meaningl…”
“Frank, just call holding and give KC the ball.”
No illegal touching? Oh, because Hill wasn’t on the field.
Every buffet in Miami just closed
Reid has his fishing pole ready
Hahahaha
They’re preparing to gather all the food in the KC locker room.
One 1st down. You can do this Mahomes. Make’m cry
“You hear that? There was no illegal touching!”
— J. Sandusky
Guess that oughtta do it. Nice comeback, KC.
Garropollo — when the stage is just to big for ya.
If Janeane doesn’t throw another completion, I win $600.
I assume he’ll throw a tuddy.
Congrats on your ill-gotten gains.
oh so close
Bailout… delay of game flag?
Never mind.
“If it hits your hands, Check to see if he’s three.”
-T Hill
Sanders pulled up lame a bit
Counting Out Touchdown Jimmy G
At this point I’m just rooting for whichever offense is on the field.
Goddamn moderates
I’m a moderate rebel.
Chaotic neutral, I respect that
COME ON KC!
That’s it, 49ers are about to win. No way that shouldn’t have been picked off.
A Garappolo INT would be great….
that dropped pick’ll cost ’em
Mediocre minds.
Arya is singing Let it Go. We’ve finally achieved peak liberalism.
Prevent defense time!
If Arya Strak sails like she drives that ship is going to crash into the harbor gates and burn to the waterline before she ever finds out what lies to the West of Westeros.
Here. let me save you the trouble…
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