There’s much talk of drinkling and fooding in the early thread so I know that everyone is doing it right proper today. The forty-five minutes I spent on the elliptical (god, I hate that motherfucker) won’t even begin to justify the calories that I’ll be absorbing through the day but we all like to pretend, right? And this tilt-doing the research for the intro it’s remarkable how well coached these teams are, the disparate weapons each squadoo has, the game-planning that’s been done to get here… Everything about these two teams is so impressive. So, as Guga Foods would say, Let’s Do It!
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Chiefs:
-Everywhere you look it’s strength against strength against strength. The Chiefs started the season looking like last season’s Shoot ’em up squad that had to out-score everyone and yes, they have some of those same attributes but now they can actually stop people-namely, outside receivers.
-San Fran’s stifling D plays zone coverage the second-most of all teams. Wanna guess which football tosser had the highest QBR rating against zone coverage? Yeah, that Mahomes kid.
-San Fran has only trailed by more than 7 points just once all season long. But Andy Reid’s record after getting a bye in regular and postseason is a gaudy 23-5.
-In bottling up receivers the Chiefs D has allowed the 3rd-most catches to the tight end position. Kittles has been vewy, vewy qwiet the past two weeks but he may have to be the gamebreaker today if San Fran has to match scores. He’ll most likely be defended off and on by Honey Badger who has been very effective in a ‘roaming’ role this season.
-It certainly seems as though the Niners own the best d-line in the biz and the numbers back them up. When Armstead, Ford, Bosa and Buckner are on the field at the same time they get a pressure rate (just think of a fast-collapsing pocket) of 44%. On third and fourth down that rate rises to a ridiculous 57%.
-So Mahomes under pressure-I wonder how his numbers look when he has to throw in 2.5 seconds or less. [shuffles through notes] Ah, here it is-he’s 218 for 300 on his completions (72%) with 16 TD’s and no intercepts. Jesus Christ.
-I took a look at prop bets and the one that makes me curious is Mahomes running yardage at 24.5 or 30.5, depending where you look. He’s run for 53 in each game, you know there’ll be at least one designed run for him, you know he’ll get flushed out of the pocket a few times and you know he’s going to take off if there’s a long ball play and Hill is covered and the open middle of the field beckons. Am I missing something here?
-Prediction Time: I don’t think this game will get away from the Niners. I do want Reid to get a ring and not be saddled with the ‘couldn’t get it done in the big game’ albatross. I am all for Mahomes getting a Super Bowl under his belt on his way to eclipsing Brady as the best QB of all time over the next 15-18 years. Let’s do 31-28 Chiefs.
How about you? Where’d you put the moneys? Who was the first to bring up politics out of context? Who’s the sloppy drunk in your gang? You didn’t burn the nachos did you? Fill some space down below.
Despite that ad, you should all drive electric
Why is Maisie Williams singing Let It Go for an Audi commercial?
$$$
$$$
#Marketing
SHUT UP! THAT’S WHY!
She coulda stabb d Epstein in the rac in the back of Ana Audi
/dials 91
Are you having a stroke?
/finger hovers over 1
They really should have used The Waitress, Charlie’s real life wife, for these ads.
Fact
I was thinking the same thing!
she didn’t test hot enough, even though WAY too hot for Charlie
Not loving the ads getting booked like a Wrestlemania title match
I want to see Reid use one of those weird obscure clock runoff penalties to win this is a very lame finish.
Fuck you Facebook. Do you really need to fucking advertise? You have ruined society.
After losing 80% of users under age 35, yes
Seiems like the clock was wrong after that penalty, no? Would have given them an extra play.
They reset the clock I think.
but I think it should have run again after whistled for play to start
Just happy it’s a close game
MVP options? Mostert? Watkins?
John Lynch looks concerned
He’ll be a Republican Senator before we know it!
Not in California, please !
Stick a (R) and a swastika next to his name and I don’t see how Missouri doesn’t make him a Senator.
Silicon Valley hadn’t been this let down since Theranos
Now that all of Andy’s understudies has a fucking ring, I guess he gets to win one
I just noticed something. Andy Reid has all of his timeouts remaining.
WE ARE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS HERE, PEOPLE!
He finally found a way to eat not taken timeouts.
Oh fuck, here comes the plague!
I really liked all her work.
sack fumble here we come
Usually something with this many successive climaxes is called a cumpilation
Cumflagration.
This is like Bring It On, now Janeane’s turn to shine?
I just want to say–
1) I love (almost) all of you
2) I have a 6am flight tomorrow
Sleep on the flight.
Keep drankin’ and sober up on the flight?
I pity the person sitting next to you.
You can roll in at 530 for that, then sleep on the plane with a mimosa
I’m speaking on a panel tomorrow
When I fly hammered I just let my co-pilot do the flying and I just sleep the whole way.
We49er
But have they left Jimmy Garrapolo too much time? Is a question nobody has ever asked before.
“Okay, I’ve seen this before and now it’s my turn. Refs will give us flags all the way to the end zone, right?”
Too close to call. That makes sense.
Stands? Yeah, I suppose. Still thought he was short.
I suspect call on the field will stand.
How do you overturn this? The ref was RIGHT THERE with an unobstructed view.
Nóooooooooooooooooo
Yeeeeeeeeess
Really wish I had some paczki right now
3 left.
OK, 2 left.
YES!!! TD!!! Finally, after all these years, we might have a win. It’s a good feeling, guys.
You should really get your hopes way up there.
Oh that is close.
I don’t think that was in, but remember, all you need for a TD is
Richard Sherman: Super Bowl Liability
Eh 50/50
Just the tip
see, THIS IS WHY WE NEED YOU IN THE CLUBHOUSE DAILY
He’s OOB first, but not sure conclusive
That was a nice play call, but not sure he made the pylon.
Oh, he didn’t.
Man, I have had a lot of 8.1% beer tonight
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
14.1% Goose Island Bourbon County. I . Am. Warm
He’s in well before that foot goes out.
+ron Jeremy
VAR must decide our fate. Can Andy really convert a THIRD 4th and 1 against these?
Definitely on a lag
Mahomes forgot he can make a forward pass?
I think he was short.
“THANK YOU!”
-B. Favre, Hattiesburg, MS
Fat Andy designed/called the perfect play. BUT IT IS COMING BACK
Touchdown?
That’s a challenge.
Not the best shovel pass.
Why Sherman no cover?
Because he’s overrated as hell.
I’m just shocked he made a solid tackle.
Steve Atwater approves!
Reid’s gonna fuck this up trying to make Mahomes the hero
Pete Carroll has no idea what you’re talking about
Exactly what I was thinking.
Quit going out of bounds
nobody:
tyreek hill: (jumps back two yards)
Defense is gassed
D’you think so?
Watkins has been golden.