Yes, it’s THAT weekend!
You can already see that 2021 will be a LOT better than 2020 because we have ourselves 6 (SIX!) Wild Card games this weekend!
And there are some very tasty matchups, as you can see below:
- Saturday 10:00 AM Pacific – Team Nipple at Team Dick
- Saturday 1:40 PM Pacific – Team Ass at Team Boobs
- Saturday 5:15 PM Pacific – Team Areola at Team Clitoris
- Sunday 10:00 AM Pacific – Team Labia at Team Balls
- Sunday 1:40 PM Pacific – Team Taint at Team Lips
- Sunday 5:15 PM Pacific – Team Finger at Team Butthole
Just kidding. That was my template. I figured it was too good not to share. Here is the real schedule:
- Saturday 10:00 AM Pacific – Indianapolis Colts v Buffalo Bills (CBS)
- Saturday 1:40 PM Pacific – Los Angeles Rams at Seattle Seahawks (FOX)
- Saturday 5:15 PM Pacific – Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Washington Team (NBC)
- Sunday 10:00 AM Pacific – Tennessee Titans at Baltimore Ravens (ABC, ESPN)
- Sunday 1:40 PM Pacific – Chicago Bears at New Orleans Saints (CBS, Nick, Amazon Prime)
- Sunday 5:15 PM Pacific – Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers (NBC, Telemundo, Peacock)
You guys certainly rang out the old year in tremendous form as far as posting pics. Your hard (hee hee) work is below.
For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.
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Without further ado, here are the Top Twenty Five Pics of The Week:
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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE
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And now, for the music!
As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
Today we are back to the puzzles! Enjoy these fine songs and figure out what the common theme is among them. I will give up to three hints in the comments. I’ll warn you, it’s a toughie this week.
I’ll give you one hint now: Wait for iiiiiiit…
Song Number One:
Canción Número Dos:
Chanson Numéro Trois:
Canzone numero quattro:
Canção número cinco
Seigarren zenbakia:
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That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!
ONE MORE THING!
Do not forget to join the DFO Playoff Pickem Contest for a brand new chance to win a gently-used Fleshlight! Link is below:
I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about whether the events of 1/6 were inevitable once it became certain that Trump would no longer be President. They probably were. Thank God there was as little bloodshed as there was.
Aaaaand the bottle of Uncle Nearest is now empty.
You can’t sleep either, huh?
This treason stuff has me thinking about executions. Lethal injection is weaksauce, and seldom the good stuff. Electric chair is too goth. A hanging is quick and has more swinging than twitching.
But a firing squad has a cigarette AND a last request. I bet my last words would be “Menthol? YOU SWINE”
This is elegant:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazen_bull
COME ON BRO IT WAS JUST A JOKE!
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Gary Coby was clearly joking, he was not giving the president his twitter account as some claimed.<br><br>He changed his name and profile pic to mock Twitter after they suspended <a href=”https://twitter.com/TeamTrump?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>@TeamTrump</a> for posting the same presidential statement that reporters tweeted from the pool report. <a href=”https://t.co/BWfm8GLVcD”>https://t.co/BWfm8GLVcD</a></p>— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) <a href=”https://twitter.com/TrumpWarRoom/status/1347755949772169217?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>January 9, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
I need to get off twitter, but
https://twitter.com/laurenpeikoff/status/1347728347623813121?s=19
“Chickity China, the Chinese Chicken”
(oh great, chicken are spreading COVID-21)
So it’s not news anymore but Twitter finally canned The Donald.
Or as you might say, @Jack Offs Trump.
As much as I admire her, I have to ask: is Rachel Maddow Glennon’s giraffe-y cousin?
I’ve got a plastic 1.75 of cheap gin I bought for my dad’s visits, but I don’t think I am going to see him any time soon. Need a simple solution. Tonic water?
Correct.
Or rinse a glass with vermouth.
I have tonic. I do not have vermouth. Also, I have lime.
Then you have a winner! Let’s drink!
Thank you for your support.
—Donald Trump, Junior
Have you ever seen those videos where they run shitty vodka through a brita filter?
Otherwise just mix it with pineapple juice or something.
https://twitter.com/barronjohn1946/status/1347694753786200064?s=19
Oh dammit, Tabula Raza beat me to it
It rated being said twice.
also, for ball’s theme, my first thought was songs from the car singing montage in film tommy boy because that was my first exposure to the midnight runners
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU2Kb4F22HsaqC
so five things:
.1. I couldn’t log in earlier today for some reason
2. @señor i looked up that robot wars fight, and as a kid who loved the orginal razer, that pissed me off
3.. @SonOfSpam i nearly spit out my drink at your jared fogel joke
4. @tabula raza, i really enjoyed the story about your nephew, i had a full length comment ready in a few minutes.
5. @joliet jake can never go wrong with taye conti. how the fuck wwe let her walk away is beyond my understanding
“Tornado cheated” vs. “Tornado did nothing wrong” is still a meme on Shuntposting to this day.
There’s a strong cold Santa Ana wind blowing through Los Angeles tonight.
Evil things happen.
In 1974, we moved from Keesler AFB in Mississippi to Norton AFB in San Bernardino CA. I did not understand that the lights I saw in the mountains at night (up where Gumbygirl lives nowadays). During the day, the smog was so bad that you could not even see the mountains. Fucking liberals have fixed that for us though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUknCZsPE_Q
<blockquote class=”twitter-tweet”><p lang=”en” dir=”ltr”>Donald tried to get on Melania’s Twitter but she told him the password was Barron’s middle name plus his birthday.</p>— Joe Faina (@faination) <a href=”https://twitter.com/faination/status/1347734360355528705?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw”>January 9, 2021</a></blockquote> <script async src=”https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js” charset=”utf-8″></script>
Tiffany 69?
If it’s Melania, it is not Twitter. It is Twatter.
Reusing the mint and lime from my mojito to mix with cheaper rum and soda from the hotel shop. If I can’t dive, might as well drink instead!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRIt2-tWkgE
trying to figure out what the “alt” key is really even used for; not much, is my conclusion, especially not worth the real estate of TWO keys on my board
Don’t use the one on the right, that just translates whatever you type into racist slurs
◄ ╛ ` ƒ ¬
Damn, watching Trebek’s last show was rougher than I thought it would be. Needed a few minutes afterwards.
It was so constant for so long, just knowing there will never be a new show with Alex is really final.
Sorry. Just didn’t expect that. (feelings, that is)
Is it ok for me to say here that Kelly Loeffler is a fucking horrible cunt?
When does Lindsay Graham’s Grindr account get suspended?
found a funny:
me: if i wash my sheets now they’ll be dry by bedtime
brain: easy
me: i just have to remember to switch them
brain: remember to switch what
Watch out guys, he only has to get kicked off a few more social media platforms before trump will end up trying to make an account here.
That’s ok. We’ve got a pretty good system for rejecting accounts from Russian addresses.
I’m having a lot of fun watching Trump get deplatformed from twitter. He keeps trying to use alt accounts and they keep getting whacked down.
Did they IP ban the White House? And he has no idea how VPN works?
He probably doesn’t know what VPN is.
“Vanky’s Pu Nani?”
As always, you are the king. That’s WAY better than what I thought up.
Is there a running list of attempted alts?
It’s just a few so far. But I bet they will try again at like 3 a.m. Here’s the current tally:
https://public.tableau.com/profile/benjamin.renton#!/vizhome/WhiteHouseResignationTracker/TwitterSuspensionsDashboard
# reallyrealdonaldtrump
@reallyrealdonaldtrump
@notreallydonaldtrump
@neverheardofdonaldtrump
LOL
they kicked Trump off twitter. Permanently.
thats ROCKING!
Is he capable of disguising himself with proper spelling, capitalization and grammar?
His lemmings will be suspicious.
https://imgur.com/r/preggit/r1sbq5m
SonOfSpam is VERY close. He got the fact that these are songs featured in the show Psych. To finish it off, we need to know HOW they were featured in the show.
Holy shit, i’ve actually watched that show!
Are they all songs that were performed live by shawn and gus at some point in the show?
DING DING DING DING!!!
https://twitter.com/PsychPeacock/status/1253263595238043648?s=09
Talk about pegging the obscurometer.
I said it was a toughie!
Mother is interested in this “pegging the obscurometer” M. Pence
I watch Psych when I run across it. Good show, clever and funny writing.
playoffs baby!
Should be ROCKING!!!!
I only watched the ‘Come On Eileen’ video, so I’m going to guess that all of these songs were sponsored by Osh-Kosh-B’Gosh.
What do I win?
You are the overall winner.
Goddammit.
Never had kids, so it took a while for me to get that. Nice.
‘Not a movie’ and a tv show pic, so something to do with tv shows. They were all the theme songs to failed pilots of ‘Chicago Profession’ shows?
“They will be in the future!” -Dick Wolf
Whenever I hear his name I’m reminded that the Roman word for brothel was lupanar, which literally translates as wolf-den, and prostitutes were lupa, so his name is basically whore-fucker
Grrrr… Something to do with black and white or darkness and light.
(Not so) fun fact: Stevie Wonder is blind because they used to use too much oxygen in incubators for preemies in hospitals, it fucks up the tiny blood vessels in the eyes. Despite not being a medical doctor, the Coney island preemie baby guy did a much better job and only gave supplemental oxygen when necessary due to lack of lung development.
Oxygen makes you blind
Love is blind
OMG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXJ4TZSXtzc
Probably told this before, sorry. My first US concert was Sweet at Santa Monica Civic Center, early 1976 Give Us A Wink Tour, opening act was Sam Hagar touring on his first post-Montrose album. When Sweet played “AC/DC” there was a 15-foot papier mache cock and balls that dropped out of the ceiling and spurted out confetti cum-shots over the audience. As a 16 year old, I thought this was awesome.
I think you did tell this story before, but I’m glad you told it again since it’s awesome.
I’m pretty sure that’s awesome at any age
Upon reflection, I think you are completely correct.
When my dad went to NAMM he saw Stevie. But Stevie didn’t see him!
/Dad joke
//Dick joke
Is it relevant that they’re all 80s?
Yes, in a way.
Songs that have been featured on USA Network level shows?
You are VERY close. Narrow down the show and the circumstances.
Psych (which I think you like) and the guys being friends no homo but kinda homo?
You’ve gotten the show! Now, there is one more step. You need to explain how these songs featured in the show.
Nah, I’m tired and ready to drink more.
Plus, I’ve never seen the show, so it feels dishonest.
Wait, seriously? You’ve never seen Psych?!?
Nope. AND IT WAS MY MAJOR!!!
Apparently it’s good (I trust your judgment) but I just never really got around to it (or any USA show).
It is. I don’t know if I would recommend a binge as each show was an hour long when it aired and there were over 100 episodes, so that’s a big time commitment. It was fun, though, with a shit-ton of 80s references.
Fuck, mate, I’ve never even fooking heard of it.
How is this possible?? I thought everyone had either seen it or at least heard of it!
It’s available on NBC’s free peacock streaming service, if you’re interested. It was a fun show.
Balls, i bought this for a friend today but thought you might enjoy it too
Is that a scented candle?
I hope not
I thought one lights candles to be rid of butt smells.
YUP
Coconut oil, quaalude, and shame scented?
The Penn State showers?
I’m not gonna lie, I fucking loved quaaludes!
They’re all songs that have been co-opted into commercials?
I don’t remember seeing the Gas Company commercial using the Bangles song…
The Moby album?
The Black Keys nod.
I posted it below, but here’s your first hint: The theme is not associated with movies.
They’re all songs by people who have never been in my kitchen.
(Susannah, you’re welcome any time, though.)
I’m pretty sure Curt Smith has been in your kitchen
That’s hint #2, btw.
Is he a licensed plumber?
More like honoured guest.
THEM was Van Morrison’s first band. Obviously not the right answer tonight. I like Patti Smith’s version better, anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iONfzXJu1g
And now he’s a major knob. Sad.
Him and Eric Clapton both. Fuck those dozy cunts.
Careful…Eric’s been known to drop children on people he doesn’t like.
He’ll need a helicopter.
Which I guess he can afford.
*Looks over shoulder when walking outside*
Speaking of Knobs, has anyone checked the Dirty Knobs album? Tom Petty’s guitarist Mike Campbell’s band. Favourite track: “Fuck That Guy.”
Good band name, good guitarist, good song title.
Will check it out.
Wrong about one thing. GREAT guitarist. He’s a fucking beast.
I have very bad luck at scuba travel. Back Pre-covid I couldn’t dive in Koh Tao or Rarotonga because of unseasonal storms that exactly corresponded with the days I was there. Now, my night Manta ray dive has been canceled because someone who works at the dive shop I booked with shares equipment with someone who tested positive for Covid. Which wouldn’t be that improbable except that it’s on the Big Island of Hawai’i, where there are under 20 and usually under 10 cases per day, counting residents who are diagnosed off-island. It’s not a super close contact for them, so I’m sure they’ll test negative, and I’m glad they’re being so careful, it’s just kinda crazy to run into it here as opposed to back on the mainland where shit is surging like crazy
Best diving I ever did was in Guam. It’s (at least in 1984) the clearest water I’ve ever experienced since the island is so remote, you could see the bottom 120 feet down. Plus, at least back in the 80s, there was still a lot of WWII combat equipment, both US and Japanese, to be found in the shallow water.
Philippines was pretty sweet too, and Phuket Thailand. Biggest disappointment was Diego Garcia. You could not swim or dive on the outside of the atoll because of sharks, and the lagoon was always fucking murky because they were continually dredging it to float the RO/ROs that were storing all the combat equipment that they finally got to use during Desert Shield/Storm.
Whoa, that sounds amazing
My first diving (snorkeling) experience was Grande Island, Subic Bay, Philippines, about 1965 at age 6 or so. Me and my dad were snorkeling and were circled by a hammerhead shark. My dad grabbed me to I guess protect me, but in later years I figured out that he grabbed me in order to offer me up to the shark if it attacked (this is pure projection). I was dive-certified by NASDS long before I was eligible to drive a car.
I think you’re supposed to punch sharks in the snoot if they attack, but bludgeoning them with a small child is probably more effective
I probably would have known that nowadays, but we had no internet in 1965 to disseminate this vital information. and at age 6, it likely would have made little difference.
I’m a boring old person nowadays, but I’ve had a pretty interesting life.
Sung by guys with really punchable faces? Except Stevie and the Bangles. Shouldn’t punch ladies or the blind as a general rule.
But blind ladies are ok, right?
Depends on the punchability of their faces, I suppose.
What about ones who wear bedazzled eye patches? Where do we stand as a collective on this?
As long as you’re punching the good eye, you’re good.
I would respect that. If you’ve got an eyepatch you might as well go big. It’s not like you can hide it. You never see that though. Why just plain black, eyepatch manufacturers? What’s the flamboyant eyeless population got to do to get some jewels and tassels on their patches?
but roolz is made 2 b broken smgdh??
I’ll warn you, it’s a toughie this week.
I can’t even figure them out when they are supposedly easy. Guess it’s part of being old.
I never have a clue.
Not even the Cure one??
I totally overthought that one.
TBH, I don’t even try. No offense, Balls.
I wonder if McConnell met Chao during a spinning-basket job in Hong Kong or Taipei when he was on a congressional junket.
She’s got a rich crimelord daddy. The turtle was bound to come across them sooner or later!
Only Navy folks would get the basket job reference. But submarines didn’t spend a lot of time at Subic, so Gumby might give you a blank stare if you make a reference.
If it’s what I’m guessing it is, trust me, he would know. Gumby was a total slut his first few years in the Navy. Before that, actually! He got caught in bed with his girlfriend on a school trip to Paris when we were in 8th grade.
I kind of want to create a drinking game around the various ways Loserface is going to try to evade his twitter ban tonight.
Melania is probably desperate to get him un-banned, if only so he’ll shut up and leave her alone.
How crazy must the prenup be that she hadn’t left him?
I don’t think that’s it. I think she wanted to be First Lady. As soon as his term is over, I’m sure she’ll make a move.
This is the Lady LemonJello’s theory as well. Jan 22, she’s seeing a lawyer and getting the fuck out.
Hahaha. Never thought of it that way. Even better
Well hold on. Let’s hear him out first. Who among us hasn’t risen to the most powerful position in the world, had a few too many and incited a riot?
There’s a whole circle of hell nodding in agreement to this statement.
He already tried using the POTUS account
He’ll start posting as TheEelDonaldTrump
Fun fact, eels don’t have any sexual organs until they develop during their final life stage when they swim back to the sargasso sea to breed
Used to go eel harvesting in the tidal flats of Dennis, MA, as a youngster. Too drunk and impatient to give the full story at present, but me, Pop, and Drunkle Bob would go down there and harvest the eels for this old Latvian guy that lived across the street who would smoke them (not in a pipe); him and my dad and uncle would gather round to drink homebrew and eat smoked eels. Karl’s homebrew was so strong that they had to cut it half-and-half with store-bought Naragansett.
For eels, check out The Tin Drum.
Move update. Ask the furniture and other assorted boxes and things are in the new place. There’s probably about a couple car loads of stuff to go but it’s 90% done.
Jebus. Moving is such a pain. Hope you can find a glass and your booze in short order.
Oh already way ahead there.
My professional advice is to take your time unpacking. Your stuff can wait!
Beds are the first thing off the truck and put together. Everything else can wait
We upgraded to a king. It’s getting delivered Tuesday. Should’ve been here yesterday though
Amazon has these 200+ thread count sheet sets for like $20. They are good. A d king size is great.
probably factory seconds. Go 600 count.
These are all from John Cusak movies
My other guess was John Hughes movies.
No and No. First hint: It’s not movies.
Songs featured in Brat Pack movies?
/god, I wanted to kiss Molly Ringwald’s pouty lips so bad for a very short period of time…
That’s a good guess, but no.
SexiMexi futbol is back. I am pumped for unpredictable gambling. HAIL GAMBLORITO!
Resigning from the Trump Administration now is kind of like the drunk guy who waits until after last call, and having been rejected by every woman in the bar, to declare “THIS PLACE SUCKS, I’M LEAVING!”
On twitter I saw it being equated to taking your seat belt off moments before the plane arrives at the gate.
I was on a Lufthansa flight landing at Frankfurt once, and you know how they say “please stay seated until we are at the gate”. We were still taxiing and a lot of people were unbuckling and standing up to get their shit out of the overheads. I guess the stew told the pilot, and he jammed on the brakes for an instant stop and made all the disobeyers fall over or otherwise look stupid. I always referred to Lufthansa as Luftwaffe back when I flew them. But that shit was funny.
There are rats leaving sinking ships that think these assholes are giving them a bad name.
I don’t know about the other matches, but I predict Team Butthole is going to get reamed by Team Finger.
This has been a real weird week for me. I actually think the good outweighs the bad in my particular world.
Bad shit:
Attempted coup. Fucking treason.
Good shit:
Attempted coup. Fucking treason. Trump just reauthorized firing squads for federal executions. Treason is a capital offense. Hope he gets hung by his own petard, as it were.
After 10 months, finally looks like I got my transfer from construction back to environmental restoration. Back to groundwater remediation, working with guys I’ve know for 20-35 years.
Ossoff/Warnock.
Bought a nice bottle of single malt this afternoon to enjoy over the weekend.
Congratulations on the work move!
Thanks. It’s been the most horrible fucking year of my life, and the transfer coming made it so I slept through the night, two nights in a row. That hasn’t happened in a long time.
Nobody needs that kind of stress, I’m glad things are getting better for you.
Which scotch?
Budget, $40 for 750 ml. Aberfeldy 12-yo. Comes in a nice cylindrical tube thing like the fancies. Not cracking it tonight, but will report tomorrow at some point during the games.
Firing squad is too goddamned humane for insurrectionists
Stoning?
RIP Terry Jones
Sounds wonderful. Congratulations!
The Bears being Team Taint checks out. Taint a good team, Taint staying out of the playoffs either.
As threatened, re-posting comment posted way too late in last thread:
When I read that the San Diego lady that died during the Treason Assault on our Capitol had been carrying a Gadsden Don’t Tread on Me flag (you know, the one that looks like a shit emoji on a yellow background) and had died from being trampled to death, all I could do was laugh ironically and think of the T-shirt that was briefly available in the Rolling Stone classifieds after the Cincinnati Who concert disaster. It read:
“I’D WALK OVER YOU TO SEE THE WHO!”
Paraphrased/updated for 40 years later:
“I’D WALK OVER YOU TO START A COUP!”
Cue up the LZ:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y60Ithcdok8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2xFLLG2jqk
Google pulled Parler from the Play Store, and as we speak Amazon Web Services is under pressure to stop providing them with hosting services.
It’d be a pretty rich “fuck you” if Bezos was the one who pulled the final plug on Leatherface’s way to directly address his cult.
I prefer Sphincterface to Leatherface. Nothing personal, RTD.