Saturday Night Open Thread – All Good Things Come To An End Edition

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As much as some of you liberals around here are glued to your phones reading about the latest indictment of Trump while masturbating furiously, I have been enthralled by the latest round of college football realignment.

Many have decried it as a sign that greed ruins everything and tradition doesn’t matter anymore and this is not the college football I grew up watching.

Stop clutching your fucking pearls.

This is great and long overdue.

The truth, to anyone that wants to hear it, is that college sports are a business, just like any other. There are good businesses and there are bad businesses. Are you going to shed a tear if the restaurant where you got food poisoning goes out of business?

No fucking way!

The “leadership” of the PAC 8 10 12 4 was arrogant and out of touch. They thought they were better than everyone else and knew better than everyone else. Those types of people usually get their comeuppance.

This all goes back to the reluctance to add Texas and Oklahoma when they were willing to leave the Big 12. The “leadership” thought those two schools were beneath them and didn’t pursue them. Or maybe they just didn’t like the people at those schools. I don’t know. Ultimately, they felt they weren’t good enough for their little club. That has come back to bite them.

Over the course of the whole realignment process, the PAC 12 has been passive and reactive. That has been proven to be an extremely stupid strategy.

I expect Washington State and Oregon State to be invited to the Mountain West Conference. There is talk out there of the PAC 12 merging with the Mountain West but that’s just more PAC 12 arrogance showing. Why the fuck would the Mountain West consider having anything to do with the “leadership” that’s destroyed a century-old institution?

The PAC 4 has nothing of value to offer. The Apple streaming deal is surely off the table so no one can count on that money anymore. The automatic berth into the college football playoff is as good as gone. What is the attraction? The name “Pacific”?

If I’m the Mountain West, I’m laughing at that merger talk and saying, “Maybe if we feel like it, we’ll take all your teams. But only two make sense. You can go fuck yourselves, Stanford and Cal. Unless you beg us. Then MAYBE we’ll think about it.”

I suppose Stanford is arrogant enough to think that they could be used as bait to get Notre Dame into the Big Ten. Not only are they arrogant, they’re delusional. That’s not happening.

The Domers have a nice fat TV contract that isn’t going away any time soon. They don’t need Stanford and they don’t give a shit about Stanford.

I’ve heard rumours of the American Athletic Conference getting interested in the last four teams standing. That conference gets more TV money, so the arrogant and greedy PAC Leftovers might go there even though geographically it doesn’t make sense. Remember, this is about money. It’s a business.

“Oh, but what about the non-revenue sports?”, cry out the naysayers. Those are businesses too. Smaller businesses but businesses nonetheless. The “amateur sports” model has been revealed to be a sham. Colleges are free training for the federations and organizations that run Olympic Sports in this country. That free training has been provided on the back of the revenue-generating sports (football and basketball). It is time those organizations paid for that training. That model was not sustainable and we are at the point where it has stopped being viable.

If anyone in this country gives a shit about Olympic Sports, then pay for it. Title 9 is fine and good but it needs to be funded. Football and Basketball have their own shit to worry about and don’t have to subsidize Title 9 compliance.

If the universities won’t take money out of their endowment funds to pay for those sports and Olympic federations and organizations won’t pony up some money then I guess we won’t win as many medals in the Olympics. Who cares?

I love it when arrogance, passiveness, and incompetence are punished. That’s happening right now. I also love it when people that think they’re in control lose everything.

None of us are in control of anything but our own actions. To think you can control other people is ridiculous and stupid. The way you get things done is to be pro-active and engage with people and always be looking for opportunities. You need to be looking at the future, not living in the past holding on to outdated standards and ideals.

The PAC 12 thought it could control everything and everyone. They said tradition mattered and values mattered. That’s hypocritical. The talk of values and tradition was just a justification for controlling people. It didn’t work and the truth is tradition and values don’t matter. They’re just marketing slogans.

So, all good things come to an end. People leave when they realize the people they are surrounded by are no longer going in the same direction or in the direction they want to go. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have done that many times and will continue to do that. Life is too short to be surrounded by assholes.

I was thrilled when UCLA announced they were leaving with USC and I’m very happy the schools that left on Friday finally pulled the trigger. Congratulations to Arizona, Arizona State, Utah, Colorado, Oregon, and Washington. You finally did the right thing.

Enjoy your Saturday night!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Horatio Cornblower

Alexei Lalas is telling me to stay up and watch the US Women at 4 AM, (game actually starts at 5), so I’m going to do what I usually do, the opposite of what Lalas says, and go to bed.

Go Sweden.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, I should probably go to a pub and watch that.

But I’m already walking to a distillery so…

WCS

Say hello to Dok’s stowaway, tripped out friend on your future adventure.

Horatio Cornblower

The announcers are bending over backwards to say how technically great this fight is. Meanwhile the fans are booing louder every round and Twitter is unanimous that it’s one of the worst fights ever.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
TheRevanchist

Balls to the chin!

Horatio Cornblower

Just ask if Buddy’s here.

Mr. Ayo

I did want to see a Dutch facial.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

South Africa in the first half — Kobe wearing #24 shooting everything no matter what
South Africa in the second half — Kobe post helicopter crash just doing nothing but dying out there

litre_cola

The Dutch are just better.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s what the De Boer family always said

Horatio Cornblower

Crowd may start throwing trash in the ring if this keeps up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Boston you said? Plenty of options in the crowd then.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s where one of the fighters is from. I think the fight is in Nashville, so I’m expecting someone to throw a live opossum any minute now.

This is absolutely horrible. If all UFC fights were like this they’d have gone bankrupt 25 years ago.

yeah right

Watching a Bourdain episode and I think I saw the very first application of beef sand.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[calls his travel agency to book a beach vacation] – Coach Reid

Horatio Cornblower

Might be the worst UFC fight I’ve ever seen. Crowd just raining boos after round 2, and they’re right.

Horatio Cornblower

Wrestle-fucking at its absolute worst.

litre_cola

Japanese are winning the womens world cup.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, that certainly quenched my thirst for howlers.

Mr. Ayo

Hey BFC, as Spitse is busy, have you tracked down her moar famous cousin Swalose?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d love to hang out with either

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why does Van de Donk miss the next match for that yellow card?

Ted Lasso failed to teach me everything.

Mr. Ayo

WOO!

litre_cola

Accumulation of yellows

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dude that’s pretty racist

WCS

South African fans and coaching staff after the yellow card (artists’ rendering)

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litre_cola

That was some shoddy keeping.

Horatio Cornblower

The UFC main event involves a Puerto Rican from Boston.

Betting on him, because you know that guy had to learn to fight early and often.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For paper towels?

Horatio Cornblower

I will note for the record that Don did, in fact, keep the paper towels.

Horatio Cornblower

How long before the South Africans and the Dutch team up and attack Britain?

litre_cola

By God we need Cecil right now.

Mr. Ayo

Oranj is the new VAR

Last edited 1 year ago by Mr. Ayo
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hippo will be proud to know the stadium is loudly booing VAR

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like before they changed the call, the mere fact of VAR was booed lustily. Now it’s a mix of cheers and boos based on loyalties.

Don T

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litre_cola

This is one of the best things ever.

Horatio Cornblower

Except the Jesus freak won.

Brick Meathook

“Money isn’t real either, now try living without it. Thank you, Chief, and now let me show you a little thing we call ‘the wheel.’ Oh, and now you’re Catholic.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“All Roads Lead Down Under” sounds like a pretty good hardcore film title

King Hippo

Sheeeeit fahr, we got us a FUTBOL MATCH going on!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’re going to spoil my BOTG

/s

King Hippo

BFC gonna have to send Lady BFC down to be a volunteer Springbokess at HT?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She’s back in the States and has never played soccer in her life but yes

Mr. Ayo

Bfc, did you hear that ankle break?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see the academy award voters huddling…

Horatio Cornblower

Which one of you assholes is this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouGLEtapOX8

herodotus450

is this some kind of psychological experiment, like the video with the gorillas?

Horatio Cornblower

it’s apparently real, although I have a hard time believing it.

Don T

This was the freshest, most convincing and satisfying article on college sports I’ve read. Thanks Balls, because this is the mind bleach I needed after reading this earlier this week
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Last edited 1 year ago by Don T
WCS

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Don T

noted 😅

Don T

FYI, that’s from si.com, not the babylon bee

Horatio Cornblower

My decision to cancel my subscription to Sports Illustrated years ago is once again confirmed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Plus I never got my helmet phone

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t believe you.

Senor Weaselo

But on the other hand it gave us a solid band!

litre_cola

Hey bfc. Go to 7ev and have a FourandTwenty pie for me.
I miss that place.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wat

Horatio Cornblower

Go to a bar and eat something Litre had there years ago.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah I’d do that but I think he’s telling me to go to 7/11….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But why would I do that? I had a meat pie at the match last night and don’t associate 7/11 with nonfood poisoning (sponch excepted)

litre_cola

Thank you stoner translator 2000.

Horatio Cornblower
Senor Weaselo

This is Celine Dion “My Heart Will Go On” worthy, or of course the Yes “Roundabout” meme.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve gotten so used to seeing own-goals on passes back to the keeper that I’m genuinely surprised there hasn’t been one yet in this game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If it happens, it’s going to be because 13 for South Africa intentionally hits it real hard back at her keeper. She’s been jawing at her hard.

Don T

mood
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Mr. Ayo

Haven’t seen a beached whale in awhile

Don T

That’s a carp. Booooooo!

BugEyedBoo

BF Catfish

Horatio Cornblower

Watching UFC and someone just lost an elbow.

Horatio Cornblower

The guy who lost had earlier kicked the winner square in the balls.

Senor Weaselo

Yeah, that’s slightly not allowed.

Senor Weaselo

So… Tim Anderson got slept, so that’s amusing.
https://twitter.com/awfulannouncing/status/1688005649651707905

Horatio Cornblower

You hate to see it.

Mostly because Anderson got up.

Mr. Ayo

#Oranje4Lyfe

King Hippo

If #s 6 and 10 want to keep touching each other in slow motion, that’d be a’ight by Hippo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gooooooool for the freaky deaky Dutch

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Definitely more Dutch than SA fans in the house, but the SA fans are louder when their side does a good

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(or almost does a good)

King Hippo

Classic poacher’s goal there.

Senor Weaselo

Well, gotta figure it’s a colonialism matchup so the oppressed have to be the loud ones.

King Hippo

New kitty grandson in da hizzy

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King Hippo

Guh, first pic is his Uncle Kruger. THIS is grandson Bronco.

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Mr. Ayo

Tell Kruger he’s my favoUrite

Gumbygirl

I love Kruger! And Noodles. How are they doing with the new guy?

King Hippo

Grumpy, but within reason. It will be all good in a few weeks, methinks.

Gumbygirl

Yay, it’s a Shemp!

King Hippo

Sabado noche Hippo be all liek GANGSTA and shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJtHdkyo0hc

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8&ab_channel=RP

The office printer at work is dangerously close to experiencing this, too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oi, i’m at the Netherlands vs South Africa match, AMA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I haven’t seen this many Dutch people since….well December when I was in Amsterdam I guess.

Mr. Ayo

Is the lack of fans depressing?

Also who is everyone rooting for?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s filling in. No tickets available online as of this am.

Decent representation for both countries, seems more Dutch to me.

King Hippo

Have you painted your belly so we can pick ya out??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My belly is naturally hued.

Gumbygirl

I’m in Riverside, babysitting my SIL’s cats until tomorrow afternoon. Time to spark a doob and then watch some Three Stooges, followed by Midsomer, and then Poirot. Life is good!

Doktor Zymm

Rub some furry kitteh belly for me!

Gumbygirl

The ginormous kitten lurves belly rubs.

King Hippo

We are ONE HOUR away from Lady Atomic Dustbins v. Springbokesses. WHO YA GOT??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4a9E89Iq3o

Brick Meathook

I like atomic everything

Gumbygirl

Nuke.

Mr. Ayo

Give me the Tulips!

King Hippo

that’s what SHE said!

Fronkenshteen

I know it was only against Vietnam, but the Dutch looked Much The Best the other day. I’ll take ‘em!

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Doktor Zymm

I kind of want to watch the Woodstock 99 documentary because I went to Woodstock 99 and had a fantastic time, but I don’t want to pay $1.99 to do so. Back in ’99 I could have gotten it off Napster or Kazaa

WCS

You actually went to that shitshow?! How in the hell have you never told this before?!

herodotus450

Maybe she’s talking about the Woodstock (the bird) (from Peanuts) Convention in ’99.

Doktor Zymm

I guess it never came up? I’m sure I must have mentioned it at some point because it’s the only time I’ve ever gotten a contact high. Also my friend bummed some water off a bunch of hippies and ended up in the infirmary because it had a bunch of LSD in it and his head turned into a cube when he went to use the portapotties.

Mr. Ayo

Lucky friend !

Doktor Zymm

Different friend discovered that if you bum grape jello off random people at the HFStival it also had a bunch of LSD in it. He ended up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania somehow. His parents had to go pick him up

WCS

Amish On Acid would be an amazing TLC show.

Doktor Zymm

Wasn’t there something about Amish when they do their Rumspringa?

Brick Meathook

Whatever happened to your hallucinogenic friend last night?

WCS

He might be in the cargo hold of a freighter at sea by now.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll probably find out in a couple weeks, I’ll let you know

WCS

See?

King Hippo

BRING HIM TO VEGAS???

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My favorite person from the documentary is the girl who got trenchmouth.

Mr. Ayo

Who’s got two… wait no, one thumb and has reserved seats for Barbie next week?

No idea. Could be anyone.

Horatio Cornblower

Who’s got genitals and reserved seats for Barbie next week?

Not Ken.

King Hippo

It will never not blow my mind that one gets reserved seats…for the goddamned movies now.

Doktor Zymm

It makes me even less likely to go

Doktor Zymm

Second new Futurama episode is MUCH better than the first one. Very much enjoying.

Doktor Zymm

And not JUST because there are Tardigrades in it

Mr. Ayo

Only on Hulu ?

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, for now at least

Mr. Ayo

Arby Poal::
1) beef n cheddar
2) double beef n cheddar
3) two beef n cheddar
4) two double beef n cheddar

Curly fries are assumed

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind. Half pound beef n cheddar is a thing. A thing that I will be eating soon

WCS

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MOAR sodium!

Mr. Ayo

Omfg now I’m going to be disappointed

Brick Meathook

I might make it to western PA here soon. If I do I’ll let you know beforehand.

WCS

I really don’t have a “day off” in any capacity until a week from Tuesday (8/14). Keep me in the loop, and I’ll see how things pan out.

Brick Meathook

Tell them you’re meeting me. They’ll understand.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I miss being capable of enjoying Arby’s.

Doktor Zymm

I got Dog Haus
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Gumbygirl

I hate their curly fries, but I had a beef n cheddar today with a bunch of horsey sauce, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

BugEyedBoo

My wife had to have a beef n cheddar last weekend. I just got a fake roast beef sandwich, because I like it with their ‘barbecue sauce’.

blaxabbath

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The whole conference model has always seemed absurd to me. I’d much rather see geographical divisions with various tiers, along with promotion and relegation from year to year.

Last edited 1 year ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Doktor Zymm

I don’t mind making exceptions to geography for rivalries, but most rivalries seem to be between geographically close schools anyway so it seems like a logical model

WCS

Weird how that’s exactly how conferences began in the first place…

BugEyedBoo

Yeah. How far you could travel overnight by train was pretty much the limit.

Using the Big 10 for reference, they were relatively close, and all similar schools – public land-grant universities (with Northwestern being an exception).

This could be completely made-up history, but I read that the Ivy League schools really didn’t GAS about football; to them it was just crazy students doing crazy student shit. Then they found out that “their” football teams were making more money selling tickets than the universities themselves were bringing in. Granted, this was back when universities were different beasts than they are today, but money was still money back then, and the university got control of that pretty quick.

Mr. Ayo

WSU, OSU, Stanford, and Cal are being relegated

King Hippo

Hippo’s ideal, land grant-based “Fuck All Y’All” Conference (if moneys not an issue):

NC State
VPI
Wahington State
Oregon State
Oklahoma State
Purdue
Michigan State
Georgia Tech (or Louisville)
Texas Tech
Mississippi State
Iowa State
Kansas State

WCS

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King Hippo

Look, y’all is too high-fallutin’ for Hippo’s League. Even if that state is West By God Virginia, yinz is still the primary state university.

WCS

By that logic, Pitt and WVU are on the same level.

Now you’re pissing off Gumbygrl, too.

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Doktor Zymm

Stanford? Arrogant? Nahhhh……Next you’ll be telling me they’re also elitist and totally in bed with amoral venture capitalists or something!

Palo Alto is the weirdest ‘college town’ out there, even more surreal than Princeton where, incidentally, there is a lovely little tea shop

Brick Meathook

Cal is deep under the bed covers with major U.S. Government defense and intelligence projects. Big big big secret bucks.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve met several people from Princeton and if every one of them turned out to be a serial killer I wouldn’t be remotely surprised.

Gotta be something in the water down there.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
Doktor Zymm

I was going to apply there but decided nawt to after the campus tour, so whatever it is it’s strong enough that 16 year old me picked up on it

WCS

It’s South Jersey. Nothing else needs to be said.

King Hippo

I….agree with Balls pretty much 100% here??

But I do think some of this football moneys should fund the non-revenue sports. Everyone gets a plane, huzzah!

Mr. Ayo

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litre_cola

Ply him with lemon gin and whisper sweet nothings in his ear

litre_cola

I agree with him too. U r fucking right that Cletus T Arbuckles booster money should fund womyns luge! Dabo aint need that much money.

Doktor Zymm

Agreed also, and agree with you on the funding. I don’t care about medals or whatever, but people should have the opportunity that having those sports available in colleges provides. When I was at NYU, NYU had a baller fencing team, and as a result there were all sorts of lessons and stuff available for people to try it out.

Brick Meathook

Dang Balls you write well.

I swear I’m working on our project. Just wait, you’ll like it.