One last hurrah for Hippo’s favoUrite banner pic!
Washington (+5.5) v. Michigan (7:30, ESPN)
Oh man, this line just keeps creeping up. I have a really bad feeling, and it’s worse than the usual (gas).
Polar opposites clash tonight. There’s the smug superiority (undeserved) epitomized by the Michigan Man – of whom Lesser Harbs is more or less the khaki-clad epitome. Unless one is a Michigan Man oneself, one has a very strong urge to punch the Michigan Man right in the genitals. We all know people like that in our orbit, within or outside of sportsball.
Whereas Kalen DeBoer is the blue collar guy who worked his way up the coaching ladder. If anyone has a bad word to say about him – professionally or otherwise – I haven’t heard it. B1G “royalty” like UM have to view their imminent entry into the conference as some sort of “barbarians at the gate.” For us neutrals, it will be nice to see someone crash the party and make the games more watchable. Tonight is sommet of a preview in that respect.
But shit – this Wolverine team (on the pitch) is physical as fuck. They win both lines of scrimmage with great regularity. It’s the Alabama formula, albeit more as a “one off” – given that UM only managed this level of dominance by keeping the core group together (more or less) for the better part of the last 3 seasons. That is…they don’t recruit like Alabama, and are perfectly set up to crash back to 8-4 after Lesser Harbs takes the Clippers du Merde job. Which he’s gonna, win or lose.
That hits at Washington’s weakness (run defense), but consider the opposite side of the coin. Modern FITBAW theory says that if you have to be weak at something, run defense is it. Where Washington has the advantage is in the passing game, and they just might have a good enough OL to allow Penix Power to fully shine through. The Huskies’ WR depth will also test the Wolverine secondary like they have not been remotely tested to date.
But again – if it takes 30+ points to beat Michigan, can they really go off that wildly? Surely 40+ is too much to ask. What I imagine DeBoer wants is to be within a score with 2 minutes or so left, and the ball in Penix’ hands. He’ll take what comes from there. Let’s all hope that’s what we get to see, not the 35-10 pasting Hippo has started to fear.
Goodyear not playing the color scheme neutral.
Herbstreit ignoring the obvious hold on the reply of Michigan’s long pass play.
I have sound off. That replay looked like they had to be talking about the benefit of being away with that hold.
Nope, nary a word was mentioned.
Jesus Washington just cannot get out of their own way.
JV BLEEEERGH!
“looks like his own feet tripped him up” says Herbstriet, looking up from his porn binge just in time to see McCarthy fall over, but not in time to see the defender swat McCarthy off balance.
I hope Blake Corum has a sister named Dee and she’s ironically impolite.
Actual conversation between me and my friend:
Friend: so wait, is this the same woodson on nfl network?
Me: no that’s rod woodson. He went to purdue and played for the Steelers. The guy they’re showing is charles woodson. He went to Michigan. They’re both in the hall of fame, and both played for the Raiders.
beat
Friend: your mom plays for the Raiders
He will literally send that to me at random times
HI I’M MARK DAVIS!!
grumblegrumble move over kid i’m back on the market grumble
….be an improved over my last step dad
Well, she probably got a lot of time working on their staff, under Mark Davis.
BOW DOWN!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9LQRWF4b40
He can start practicing that shit right now!
Now watching about Trent Williams’s cancer. Dude, they removed like half his scalp because they do an inch margin around where it spread. He was lucky it didn’t spread into his skull.
That cancer is property of the Washington Football Team, and all it’s known properties. Williams still owes over $4 million backed fees for leasing that tumor.
he didnt get chemo he got chommando
put the chlime in the chochonut?
Dr. Chao gets all the publicity, but the Washington medical staff can hold their own on the malpractice front
Look at this gorgeous gent!
Senorita Weaselo: “Where have you been, kitty? Come back to mama.”
Worse vehicle, Pontiac Aztek or PT Cruiser?
PT Cruiser. Stupid Alamo offered me a convertible and gave me that POS.
The Aztek handles like a Chevy Equinox, so it’s drivable. Never driven a PT Cruiser, but my brother LOATHED it.
c. Cybertruck
Didja see the clip of one in the snow yesterday or today?
Where the other (non-stupid) truck had to tow it out? Yeah, that was satisfying.
Found a funny:
Just got a random text from a guy wanting to meet up in the woods to compare dick sizes.
Fucking weirdo. Didn’t even show up
Clams seem chill. Good reincarnation Plan D.
The bivalve, or the slang term for a vagina?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_lIKui5FhY&list=PLFi9V6EFsFImHKEho5B34IsIM9HHaICOc&index=15
HALFTIME (and Redshirt’s current mood)
(Me walking into the clubhouse and noticing the score of the JV Title game: Artist Interpretation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkJehlr1tEw&pp=ygUjc2ltcHNvbnMgZ3JhbmRwYSB3YWxraW5nIGluIGFuZCBvdXQ%3D
“Penix is pretty locked in tonight” says Kirk Herbstreit, who is watching this game from an alternate universe.
No, he’s watching porn. He doesn’t care about the game.
Given his commentary so far I am not ruling this out.
Why would you pass there?
So you could ask.
Gotta be the reason. Nothing else makes sense.
The Fightin’ McHales aren’t looking too hot.
Neither are the Ice Giants.
I just realized former IU men’s basketball coach is likely at this game.
Only way he’s coming close to a championship is living vicariously through his brother in laws
Pretty sure Bobby Knight’s not at the game.
Holy shit I am bad with the typos tonight. I’m not even close to drunk.
Former IU coach Tom Crean, is who I meant
That flow!
Has anyone seen Crean and Dean Spanoi in the same room at the same time?
Dave Foley and Jon Hamm are absolutely killing it in Fargo (whichever varietal this is)
Season 5, and yes.
1000%. I started watching that yesterday. It may have spilled over the first hour of the early window–THERE,I said it.
S5 Fargo is better than any football that was on yesterday.
I’m up to episode 3. Dot seems like a Lamar! Type.
Oh you have no idea.
(see also, any football on today)
I can only watch 2 episodes at a time – too much to digest. Just finished numero quatro.
3rd and 22? JV NFL BLITZ!
Pennix looking limp
They have pills for that
Pills? You have any extra? – T Marinovich
https://twitter.com/NoEscalators/status/1744532213239030242
Michigan’s scared of Northern Illinois. That’s just a straight-up fact. Why won’t the Wolverines play them?
Herbstreit: “Here comes a screen or a draw, something easy.”
/Washington comes out empty backfield and 5 wide.
PENNIX IS ELITE! Please inform Mr. Flacco. He’s sitting in an apartment with one chair, one couch, and white walls. He’s eating a bowl of Cream of Wheat with a side of skim milk. For desert, Grape Nuts without milk.
He’s Ben Affleck from ‘The Accountant’?
Grape Nuts?! On a Monday?! Joe’s really celebrating this playoff run.
I just don’t see Penix’s delivery translating to the NFL. Like at all. I wouldn’t draft him at gun point.
So you’re saying I shouldn’t walk into the sports book and bet on U Dub?
I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that IU held Michigan scoreless for 1 quarter.
Michigan would then score 52 unanswered points
One good thing about Michigan winning the title this season is that it will be forever tainted by so much cheating that Harbs wasn’t allowed to coach the first and last three games of the season.
Not to mention celebrate it, when he takes the Chargers jorb at 12:35 DFO time 1/9/24
JFC Huskies. Did it not occur to you that UoM would RUN the fucking ball?
The phrase is BOW DOWN, not ROLL OVER and let them rub your exposed tummies in an embarrassing loss right before you join their conference and become an irrelevant program.
Red rocket!
LOL @ Barry being annoyed he had to wake up in the middle of the night while in Japan to accept the Heisman
I consider you friends, so I will share one exchange from tonight’s counseling session.
“I know you want to say ‘Fuck you I’m fucking out of here’ to your family.”
“Yeah, I really do.”
“Don’t do it.”
“Really?”
“Yes, take my word for it.”
This is the time on Sprockets when Hippo pulls up episode 3 of new Fargo season instead
GOOOOOO BLUEEEEEEEE
I haven’t seen dogs mistreated like this since the Michael Vick trial.
Which team or fan base will be more whiney about the loss? Whoever that is, I don’t want them to win
/also not going to watch any of the game
I am not lying when I say I’ve never met a Washington huskies fan in my life
I have, but I lived in Washington for 4 years.
https://youtu.be/5hg7CxBdJHk?si=OEZ_CMcTCkDvq_ju
She never opened the packages I sent her that were full of my toenail clippings and used, waxy Q Tips.
She heard you were a subpar sailor
So I send out a schedule for our newsletter.
I use the same file and file name as my predecessor.
The pain in the ass, stick your nose in everyone’s business, flat out bitch proceeds to tell me what’s wrong with it.
Seriously? Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
No, I didn’t say that, but I pointed out it had been approved.
This woman, I want to pound her face in with a hot iron.
Up at 530, drive to DC, drive back. Appointment with counselor. Sitting down to watch game, 9 year says, “we have to write a short story.”
How much does it take to completely disappear and move to Fiji?
I’ve got enough Alaska miles to get your airfare, up to you what you do once you get there
Why rush things, when you could sail there, on your own poorly crafted sailboat?
My sailing skills are . . .under a C level.
Much appreciated, once I get there, I’m a fucking ghost.
Actually, if you fly Alaska Airlines there’s a decent chance you’ll become a ghost en route.
Ask the nine-year-old after they get back from said trip.
“What’s this ‘we’ shit, son? I don’t remember attending 5th grade today.”
Washington Friskies doing ok so far.
Hold on…
How much Penix can you take?
So I thought the game would start at like quarter after.
Stupid NCAA.
Well, still can’t be as weird as last year’s Jawja-Blood Eye’d massacre.
Right?
Yeah, Hippo’s fears being realized.
Meh, at least I will win my bowl confidence pool. BOW DOWN!!!
Going to watch that Amazon documentary on Barry Sanders. Looks like they’re gonna try and explain why he retired. I always figured it was just because he was a well-adjusted, maybe slightly introverted dude with high self-esteem who was ahead of the times on preserving his mental and physical health, but maybe I’m wrong!
Already enjoying footage from the ’89 draft. Deion Sanders has a sweet outfit!
We’ve all worked for an employer who was completely inept, and seemingly went out the way to be as hapless as possible.
I’d walk as soon as possible, too.
Especially your first jorb out of college.
Could have done the opinion of a certain wanna be political pundit, you’ll know it when you see it
*done without the opinions of a certain wanna be pundit.
Is what I wanted to say
I think it’s kind of messed up that Apple is being punished for designing a phone with an anti-gravity feature.
damn BIG GRAVITY and it’s gubnant buddies!
There were 2 iPhones sucked out of the plane, if only one still works that’s a 50% failure rate
Corso’s going Blue, it seems!
Who’s the dumbshit in the cowboy hat?
Turd Ferguson
Hippo must like Big Ws…