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Christmas Eve Afternoon Waste of Our Time

WCS

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I mean, what do YOU really want to do? Spend time with your family? Pffff…

We’ve got two JV bowl games today. For starters, we’ve got the Bahamas Bowl, between the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders, and the Western Michigan Broncos. The only bowl game to be (currently) played in another country!

https://youtu.be/gkxvQyCEIzc?t=1h50m20s

“Just another pointless, pre-Christmas bowl game,” I hear you saying. Watch the clip above, and watch the insanity unfold. I don’t think the Raiders and Broncos can top that, but who knows?

Later, we’ve got the Hawaii Bowl, featuring the Cincinnati Bearcats, and the San Diego State Aztecs. SDSU has a terrific defense, and Cincy has a pretty good offense. Tommy Tuberville will take an SEC job after this game*.

*That’s what he does

As far as I can tell, that’s about it for the sporty entertainment. It’s Christmas Eve, after all. The NHL and NBA are both off today, because the latter makes them work all day Christmas Day. Ebeneezer Scrooge nods his head in approval. There is an NFL game later, which we’ll get to then.

In the meantime, enjoy yinzselves, rewatch A Christmas Story twelve times on TBS, and drink aplenty.

I will also be doing my annual live-tweet of Die Hard starting around 22:30 EST; @patrickehland on the twitterz.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welp, this Jew is making wreath cookies and listening to Vince Guaraldi before the gf and I watch the last of our Star Wars pregaming for Episode VII. I think that all pairs nicely with Kilchoman 100% Islay.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So…bit of a dilemma. We are headed to a Christmas party at 5 tonight. I want to watch the Raiders game. Go to party and leave at halftime? I do not have cable anymore so I cannot DVR it.

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Old School Zero

I’m doing egg nog and A Christmas Carol movies tonight. I’ll follow the game on my phone, but Chargers season is done so what do I care.

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WCS

Demand the A-holes hosting the party put it on?

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ballsofsteelandfury

This is the proper answer. Unless he’s going to a hipster party in his neighborhood where people are proud they do not own TVs.

Then, the answer is radio through the phone and an earpiece.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s over in your direction, actually, up north of the 210.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Fancy!

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King Hippo

Stop leaving your house and for God’s sake get your cable back.

– Your friendly neighbourhood recluse.

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Don T

What WCS said. You can do the Annie Hall: sneak into the bedroom and watch the game. If you can incite other guests to join you, it’s tolerated–or just convince them to mutiny.

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ballsofsteelandfury

May I suggest Directv? And look, I can get you a $100 Referral Discount!

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The Maestro

Not even 6 PM EST and all my gift-wrapping and -tagging is done. New personal record!!!

(Normally I’m up til like 2-3 AM because I tend to forget and throw things together at the last minute. This has been an extremely successful year for me – my shopping was done like six whole days ago!)

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WCS

AV Club’s Band Names of the Year 2015!
http://www.avclub.com/article/when-bundled-bowels-met-gruesome-toilet-2015-year–229120
(sort-of-maybe-quasi-NSFW?)

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Horatio Cornblower

Oooh boy. Just considered my alcohol content and time of day and there’s a decent chance I’ll be Fozzin’ it later tonight.

Bourble here I come!

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Old School Zero

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

DID SOMEONE SAY RAM IT?

Oh, Fozz it? That could be even better.

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jjfozz

Getting to mass early is the dumbest thing u can do, but trade off is watching hotties walk in.

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The Maestro

7 PM mass is the perfect time. The little ones have conked out by then so they won’t fuss through it all, still got tons of to make it home for a later dinner and also meet your alcohol quota for the day. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

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scotchnaut

As far as scoring is concerned this game is great.

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Spanky Datass

It was good but I strained something diving for the mute button when I heard Mack Brown AND Mark May! (Levy’s aight.)

http://payload143.cargocollective.com/1/6/198017/5161849/Lava-Lamp.gif

Now, back to my virtual lava lamp time waster.

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entropy

Hola, Internet Friends, and a Merry Christmas to you all.

Because I am a terrible procrastinator, and have some firmly held belief that I can always get more drawings done before Christmas than I really can, I am feverishly burning through my final two images for the holiday season this fine afternoon. One is pencil only, so that’s nice, but the other requires some ink and color work, which will put off the drinking for a bit. I hope your days are well, and you enjoy time spent with loved (or tolerated due to blood) ones.

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King Hippo

Yes, verily, I shall raise my glass mostly in tolerance due to blood tomorrow. My mom and my daughters is mostly a’ight, though.

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scotchnaut

Jesus. Nigella Lawson has a quality rack…of lamb.

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And spices.

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jjfozz

Just saw the “new” Star Wars movie – shit yeah I’m impressed. Now it’s in-law time, preceded by Xmas Eve mass with my three sons – I am preparing chilled shots of Ketel One Citroen.

No matter how you celebrate, the very best of all to you magnificent bastards. I treasure my phantom internet friends, you all have brought light to some dark days – plus sexy photos and hilarious gifs.

I’m off to get in bourble.

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Old School Zero

May the flag of Bleergh and the horrifying visage of BOLTMAN not darken the Fozz household during these holidays. May your celebrations be the opposite of your quarterback’s eliteness.

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scotchnaut

BOURBLE! BOURBLE! BOURBLE!

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“What is the sound a drowning Jaguars quarterback makes?”

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Tommy Tuberville sounds like the name of a ruthless margarine magnate.

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jjfozz

Or a gay porn star

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scotchnaut

Or a used potato salesman.

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laserguru

We have a special Christmas Eve treat for dinner. Oldest brother is visiting one of his daughters in San Diego today and he will be bringing us…
Carne asada burritos from Lolita’s!

Oh sweet Jesus, YES!

http://s3-media4.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/F5Iwhaoykoc4UOoW6-zDMw/o.jpg

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jjfozz

Hold that fucker up to the monitor so I can take a bite. Sweet Baby Jesus that looks good.

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Old School Zero

Goddamnit now I’m hungry.

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WCS

I would have sex with that.

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Gentlemen and ladies, may I offer some entertainment for your viewing pleasure?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiM2_Va8h-k

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I’m actually really disappointed this video didn’t contain any of the videos of Bills fans drunkenly attempting sex acts.

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Porky Prime

Fans or coaches?

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laserguru

Any other poor jabronies besides me who gots to work?
It’s only for 5-6 hours but c’mon man!

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Old School Zero

“working” from home. It involves watching Kill BIll 1&2 while troubleshooting remotely and petting cats.

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Horatio Cornblower

Whoa, petting cats!? That’s hazard pay quality work right there.

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Old School Zero

Rolled over cat belly, even. That could cost me my hand at any moment.

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I’m at work. It works out since it shortens my drive to family and I can fuck around all day and nobody cares.

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laserguru

I think I’m going to create a new post while at work since I’ll be the only one there.
The good thing is, since I’m the boss, as soon as I get in at 11:00 I send the entire crew home early (with pay) and I cover the operation until evil Mr Scrooge says I can go home, probably around 4:30 or 5:00.
It’s cool since the entire family is showing up between 5:30 and 6:30.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’m working too. I’m in charge, so I’ve already gotten asked about ten times if I can let people out early. I will, but some people want a half day.

Who am I, Scrooge McDuck?

http://www.highlandernews.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/21.-ops.-Scrooge-McDuck.-Azizonomics.jpg

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

After they never showed up yesterday, new blinds are now installed, comcast came by for stop 2 of XX in the last 72 hours, three loads of laundry are in, and the ladyfriend will be home from work in 2 hours. Not a bad Xmas Eve for this J-O-O.

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Horatio Cornblower

My wife is a real estate agent and just helped a client with a more-complicated-then-it-should-have-been deal and was not paid much. A literal crate of meat just showed up at our door from Omaha Steaks, courtesy of said client. Our freezer is bursting and, BONUS, we get to do tricks with the dry ice!

This truly is a season of miracles!

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jjfozz

Grab your vintage concert costumes from Sweet’s 1976 tour, get the dry ice going, and rock the fuck out to Ballroom Blitz.

Of course, we will need photos and videos of this event.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dry? Ice? Tricks? Horatio’s Wife? I mean this joke pretty much writes itself.

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King Hippo

I will watch this and salivate out of desire for some Popeye’s, because I well and truly hate myself,

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