Happy P*ts Schadenfreude Day 2020 Hippo Thoughts

King Hippo - January 5, 2020January 4, 2020

Oh my cats, y'all, El Tractorcito y Mas Erotic Smashmouth did it!!! Where to start? Tanny Fanny had been a revelation ever since taking over the starting job. ALL the advanced metrics said he was not only good, but GREAT. Sustainable great. Until he wasn't. And mein Gott, how he wasn't. Except for one

Late Afternoon Into Evening Open Thread

King Hippo - January 1, 2020January 1, 2020

In case y'all haven't noticed, a new decade is upon us. Does it feel any different? NOPE. Has Hippo made any resolutions? NOPE. I made one about 11-12 years ago to stop making New Year's Resolutions, and I fookin' kept that one. Do you not want to watch JV exhibitions? CBSSN

New Year’s Morning Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - January 1, 2020December 31, 2019

247

Fuck off with the hangovers and all other crap associated with NYE spent with real people. As long as none of my kids get arrested (actually fuck it, they can rot if they do), I shall be watching some Premiership all morning! Also, this will be the Decade of Kruger (pictured

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2019 Season

King Hippo - December 30, 2019December 29, 2019

Joyous of joys, we have playoff picture clarity, and got to see each and every team DERP to the finish line (with various degrees of comedia). The early window contained lots and lots of mailing it in. We will breeze through most of this "action" fairly quickly. BUT NOT ALL!!! Sean McDermott

JV Raging Semi #2 (and Open Sabado Noche Thread) – 2019 Playoffs

King Hippo - December 28, 2019December 28, 2019

229

No 2nd Jim Mora clip, I will just play my personal best song of 2019: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt9xg8niutY Clemson (-2.5) v. tOSU (Qardinals Base Camp, 8:00, ESPN) I told myself maybe I would moneyline bet whoever is the underdog, but this is a straight-up coinflip and I don't wanna. Interesting philosophical dilemma for the class

JV NFL Raging Semi #1 – 2019 Playoffs

King Hippo - December 28, 2019December 28, 2019

201

Yes, yes, let's get it out of the way... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7fjDS0jKiE Oklahoma (+13.5) v. LSU (Megatron's Butthole, 4:00, ESPN) This here line seems excessive to me, with all the Bayou Bengals (hey, perfect for Joe Burrow and Team WKRP!) questions at running back. And make no mistake about it, the game-breaking threat of Clyde

Festive Fixtures Continue – 28 Dec Lesser Footy Openness

King Hippo - December 28, 2019December 27, 2019

288

Huzzah, I hope y'all ain't tired of the Premiership. Because there's a metric fuckton of it this weekend. Bournemouth got a really good point off Arsenal on Boxing Day, so they go right back on the road to meet the ever-tricky Trashbirds of Brighton (7:30, NBCSN). My willingness to set the

Don Carlo Fawning Boxing Day Open Thread

King Hippo - December 26, 2019December 25, 2019

127

Oh my LAWD, they's a bunch of Lesser Footy going down. Who says the Day After Christmas is depressing? I don't have to work, and we get a de facto Second Lesser Saturday. I'll fookin' take it, like. Spurs and Brighton kick us off bright and early (yes, I set my

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2019 Season

King Hippo - December 23, 2019December 23, 2019

Your humble scribe had many pill-induced hallucinations, this 22 December, the Year of Our Lord 2019. I will shake my brain around and describe same below. [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of the Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] Of course, in this Bananacakes of All Years,

Benvenuto Don Carlo! Lesser Footy (and Early NFL Special) Open Thread

King Hippo - December 21, 2019December 21, 2019

256

Oh my cats, y'all. Cue Ron Paul, because It's Happening! Mikel Arteta (who may be on the touchline this am for the Gooners) thinks he's too good to manage Everton. But not Italian coaching legend Carlo Ancelotti (i.e., Don Carlo). He will make his managerial debut on Boxing Day, but

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2019 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 16, 2019December 16, 2019

Hippo hopes y'all had a nice weekend. There was no FITBAW on Saturday, which sucked ass. Next weekend will be better that way. Also, I had a killer migraine all day Sunday, which really dampered my enjoyment of Everton taking a nice point at Old Trafford. It also impacted my

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2019 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 9, 2019December 8, 2019

Despite the very ending of the late window - this was a really great FITBAW Sunday (otherwise). Let's not let that spoil things! [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of The Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] We had Most Glorious Scorinami [a unique scoring combination never before recorded