Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 23, 2018

392

[kid's entertainer walks onto stage to rabid applause] Entertainer: "HELLO OUT THERE, ALL MY LITTLE POOPSTERS!" Audience: "HELLO CAPTAIN SHITSTAIN!" C-Stain: "Oh! It's so lovely to see all my friends. There's Dookie in the front row." [camera pans to excited child wearing a "Don't Shit Where You Eat" t-shirt] C-Stain: "Boy, have I got a

Your “Dane You Mont to the Football Day” Saturday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 18, 2018August 18, 2018

159

See? I can talk all kinds of fancy when the mood urges me! Do you like urges? I like them. They crawl into your mindhole and sit there festering, oozing that delicious milky-white substance that tastes a lot like room temperature ice cream. (h/t, Mr. Flacco) And then, and then..

Your Saturday Afternoon Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 18, 2018August 18, 2018

Well, what have we got here? Looks like a double-header-each of which could be interesting in different ways. The Jags and Vikes will be upper echelon teams in their respective conferences and should take their divisions as well. As for the Raiders and Rams? Umm, hmm... This premise of mine

Your “Starting Units Wandering Into The Second Quarter? Do Tell!” Friday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 17, 2018

526

So my oldest sonny boy has shown an interest in cooking so I got him a few "Hello Fresh" thingies. He said he was going give one a go today and I knew that, because he didn't invite me to join in the process, he wanted to tackle this solo.

Your “Will The Football Get Better? Only Slightly, Son, Only Slightly” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 16, 2018

265

The best thing about hot and swampy mid-August as far as my brain box is concerned? We're that much closer to the most wonderful month of the year-the one that comes afterward. Can't recall its name but I do know the weather cools down a bit, (suck it, warm Earthers!)

Your “It’s Friday. Let’s Eat And Drink And Drug Like The Champs We Are” Friday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - August 10, 2018

332

It's shitty preseason ball and a couple of shitty teams are involved in this double-header. Call it "un-beautiful symmetry", maybe? Whatever, my eyebulbs are gonna catch some action. One thing I've got an issue with is the fact that this is the first weekend that all teams are playing and

Your “I’ve Missed You So Goddamn Much!” Hall of Fame Game

scotchnaut - August 2, 2018

466

So.. somebody may have dropped the ball. It was me. TO THE GAME! Ravens/Bears: If you can find two more uninteresting teams in all of the sports I'd like you to tell me about them down below. Still, it's THE FOOTBALL, baby! Massively muscled people you've never heard of might just

Your “I Hope You Like Field Goals” NFC Championship Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 21, 2018January 21, 2018

1146

Don't get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I'm all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go... TO THE GAME! Minnesota/Philadelphia: At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will

Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 21, 2018

1181

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I'm not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that's last night's chili talking, I've no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME! Jacksonville/New England: Some football fans

Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 14, 2018January 14, 2018

1019

[can't think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers... TO THE GAME! Jacksonville/Pittsburgh: Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, "Smashee, smashee". Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the

Your “In Which We Learn That Beating The Falcons is a Foles’ Errand” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 13, 2018January 13, 2018

697

A hale and hearty "Hullo!" to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here's a trivia query: "When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?" No googling! If memory

Your “Stupid Sexy NFC South!” Wild Card Playoff Game Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 7, 2018January 7, 2018

812

Well, we're three down and only one more to go. I hope your belly is full of the things that you like and that you've hunkered down for the day. Not sure about you guys out there but the wind is howling and growling up here, blowing the darn snow