Commentist Beer Barrel: Teabaggin’

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - June 12, 2017June 13, 2017

What's happenin', everybody? Low Commander here, filling in back by popular demand for another week in the ol' Beer Barrel! Our Make It Snow went and got all married last week (Congrats, Lady Mrs. Snow!) and I can only assume they are both currently quite inebriated on a beach somewhere,

Commentist Beer Barrel: Shoot to Thrill

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - June 4, 2017June 4, 2017

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Good afternoon, beer coin-a-suers. [DFO's] resident drunk beer reviewer, Make It Snow, is an a lot of something else right now apparently, and as BFC pointed out last week, guest posts are a happenin'. I am your Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, and this week you are stuck with

Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - May 19, 2017May 19, 2017

FEBRUARY 2017 - MIDDAY - INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - CHARGERS/RAMS JOINT STADIUM SITE [Three well-dressed men exit a limo and approach a chain-link fence, bordering a sprawling quagmire of mud] STAN KROENKE: The foreman is telling me that this rain may cause a serious delay. DEAN SPANOS: How serious? DALE KOGER: With the high rainfall so far this

“SOME TABLE IS BETTER THAN NONE TABLE?”

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - May 15, 2017May 15, 2017

SERVER: Welcome to Cafe Fina on Monterey's beautiful Fisherman's Wharf! My name is Nick and I will be your server today. Can I start you off with anything to drink? CUSTOMER: Well, I... [DOOR FLIES OPEN] JOHN MADDEN: EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU APPEAR TO BE SITTING AT MY TABLE, AND WHEN YOU SIT AT

Smoking Hot Microphone

NFL Announcers

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - May 5, 2017May 5, 2017

INTERIOR - FOX SPORTS BROADCASTING STUDIOS - LOS ANGELES, CA [A pair of well dressed men sit around a broadcast studio's control room, watching sports highlights on various screens] GEORGE GREENBERG: Look, Joe, we have to keep up with the times. CBS has finally done the smart thing for once by canning Simms

Entire Chargers Fan Base Attends LA Marathon

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - March 21, 2017

The irony of those shirts is just too much for me to handle.

Iron Cook with Low Commander: Enhanced Fried Rice

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - March 12, 2017

Good afternoon, folks. Yeah Right was summoned to a pizza battle earlier this week and was unable to facilitate this edition of Sunday Gravy Iron Cook. What kind of foolish fool would you have to be to issue that challenge to our Patriarch of Pizza? I don't know, but I

I Just Realized the New “Ghost in the Shell” is Rated PG-13…

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - March 7, 2017March 7, 2017

...and naturally I had to come to the INTERNET to complain about it. Are you fucking kidding me?! A major part of the premise and success of the cyber-punk source material is the complete and ridiculous over the top violence! Just look at some of this shit (unless you are at

A Night at the Opera: BOLTMANIAN RHAPSODY

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - February 10, 2017February 10, 2017

♫ Set to the music of “Bohemian Rhapsody” from Queen ♫ FANS: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a cash grab, One escape from re-al-ity. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see… DEAN SPANOS: I'm such a rich boy, I want your sympathy, Because Dad-dy came, I will go, Pretty high; lots of

New Chargers Helmet Design Proposals

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - January 27, 2017January 27, 2017

It's been a strange couple of weeks in San Diego. There has been talk of clearing the land on the site where Qualcomm Stadium used to stand, following BOLTMAN'S exodus, in order to make way for a bid at attracting a new sport to San Diego: MLS Soccer. The plan