Better Watch an (Early) Selection Show

Lesser Sports

King Hippo - March 12, 2017

Who moved this bastard to 5:30?? Anyhoo, Nova and Duke both get the shaft, the East is a bear and a half, and of the DiCaprio rapey varietal. /further comments in the...comments

Roundball Roundup From A Total Know-Nothing: The [DFO] Bracket Challenge

The Maestro - March 7, 2017March 7, 2017

Howdy, folks. Once again, March Madness - arguably the best tournament in all of sports - is just around the corner. We still have a few days to go before the final seeds are announced, but here's a quick rundown for those of you who don't follow college basketball too

The Dunghill of College Sports

jjfozz - August 15, 2016

College football is a fucking joke. Hey look! Iowa Asshole Polytechnic edged out Oklahoma Electrical Training Institute 65-8! It was close and we can’t wait for the rematch in the second annual North Dakota State Police Training Academy Brutality Bowl! What a contest. Give me a goddamn break. Every year we are

Basketball Finally Ends – Pray to This Man

King Hippo - April 4, 2016April 4, 2016

339

#2MW Villanova vs. #1E U*NC (9:19, TBS) In a new twist on Catholics vs. Convicts (the Holes aren't in NCAA jail yet, but that's mostly because they confessed to EVEN MOAR SHIT to keep the university/athletic department-wide investigation going until Ol' Roy could wrap up his precious title run), you get

Operation Stop the Asshole Cheaters (Final Four Preview/Game Thread)

King Hippo - April 2, 2016April 2, 2016

471

Well folks, here we are. Down to four, only one #1 seed, but it's the most evil one of all. Blatant bunch of academic fraudsters, complete with asshole coach who not even veiled subtly threatens minor reporters who dare call out his program and "university" on their bullshit.

Flacco Eight Preview/Game Thread (Sunday Edition)

King Hippo - March 27, 2016March 26, 2016

368

Yes, I'm recycling the picture. I don't care enough about today's games to try very hard. Take it out of my paycheck. 10MW Syracuse vs. 1MW Virginia (6:09, TBS) Fun fact - when these two teams played in the regular season, I am 95% sure that the game didn't even

Flacco Eight Preview/Game Thread (Saturday Edition)

King Hippo - March 26, 2016March 26, 2016

316

Oh, this is an unflavored ice milk kind of tournament, no doubt. So without further ado...your first set of Flacco Eight matchups. 2W Oklahoma vs. 1W Oregon (6:09, CBS) Nothing but chalk here. Hopefully, that streak breaks with the mildest of seeding upsets, because I will quit watching this shitshow the instant

Sweet Sixteen Part Deux (Dead Jeebus Day Edition)

King Hippo - March 25, 2016March 25, 2016

569

To share a story my mother likes to tell about my weirdo childhood, she asked then 6-ish year old me "Why did Jesus die?" to which I flatly responded "Because He let them put all those nails in Him!" I was born to go to engineering school. Also: GREAT

Sweet Sixteen Thursday Preview/Game Thread

King Hippo - March 24, 2016March 23, 2016

596

Sweet madre de Christ, did anyone else have these donuts in the local grocery store growing up? What a cherished, delicious binge and shame trip down memory lane this picture takes me down. 3S Miami vs. 2S Villanova (7:10, CBS) A highly intriguing game, by my standards. Two methodical coaches,

Awaking From the Basketball Coma (Sunday No-Funday Preview)

King Hippo - March 20, 2016March 20, 2016

550

The last day of the coma is always such a bummer, because all I can think about is how close to being over it is, and the looming specter of fucking Monday. Also FUCK YESTERDAY. 7S Iowa vs. 2S Villanova (12:10, CBS) The ultimate acid test in "just how cursed is

Basketball Coma Methadone – Saturday Shakes Edition

Game Preview

King Hippo - March 19, 2016March 18, 2016

484

Only 8 games today. It's like being behing the Iron Curtain, da, comrades? Anyway, CBS even gets all crafty, trying to sneak their "white kids doing it THE RIGHT WAY" suckoff into the middle of the deck. I call your fucking bluff, and still plan to read

Basketball Coma – Friday Night (Almost Finished!)

Game Preview

King Hippo - March 18, 2016March 18, 2016

736

Remember that scene in "The Great Outdoors" where John Candy is trying to eat that 96-oz steak (one has to suspend disbelief and pretend that would be a challenge), and Dan Aykroyd insists he's finished. "There's nothing left on that plate but fat and gristle!" Ladies and gentlemen, your fat