Tag: NotKSKharacters

Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston’s Special Injury Report

Old School Zero -
13

Dateline: September 23rd, 2015 Greetings, loyal Winstonians! Long time readers know that for years, I've been telling my learned readership that Week 2 in the NFL is often a singular moment of specialized disaster, and this year was no exception! Up was down, wrong was right, and even the Raiders won

Kirk Cousins Visits A Subway

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
15

[WASHINGTON D.C., SUBWAY INTERIOR] Sandwich Architect: Hey man, don't you think it's about time we took down that RGIII cardboard cutout we've got by the door? He's not even starting for the [*Redacted] s anymore. Assistant Manager: Yeah, you're probably right. Someone said the same thing yesterday. Is there room for it in

The DFO Interview: Scott Hanson

WhyEaglesWhy -
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“Honey, where’s my pajama pants with the little helmets on them?” I’m catching up with Scott Hanson at home as he gets ready for another Sunday behind the desk. “Yeah, I wear pajama pants at work. I’m behind that desk for 7 hours, so I want to be comfortable.” Hanson is the wildly

French Jay Cutler Goes On Strike!

Not Pictured: The Mouse Toy He Brings on International Travel
Old School Zero -
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/long pull on a skinny and extremely noxious cigarette Bon jour, sports fans of questionable culture. I av called you here today to say, c'est tout. I av ad eet with this, how do you say, bullsheet. As ov right now, I am on strike. /drinks a small and bitter cafe noisette, ashes his

An American Football Fan in Paris

BrettFavresColonoscopy -
14

As many DFOers/Kommentists/DFOoses/whatevers know, our own Old School Zero is currently training for a cheese eating/surrendering contest by exploring France from the tip of her Eiffel Tower to the taint of her Larzac Valley. 'Twasn't shortly after arriving in Paris that he intrepidly snapped this photo: Since he didn't get a

Bucs Preview with #CaptainWarrenSapp

Sep -
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[Dfo-claimer: This preview should be read at high volumes. Preferably in a residential area. Welcome aboard.] Captain's Cabin Door Flies Open Warren Sapp: YAARRR Mateys! Welcome to Captain Warren Sapp's 2015 Tampa Bay Bucs preview! I'm ye scurvy dawgs Captain, Warren Sapp. Joining me in this parlay as always is my faithful

There’s Something Rotten in Ashburn

Sometimes I wonder if selling your soul is worth it
BrettFavresColonoscopy -
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Interior: [*Redacted] s Park. A dark shadowy figure lurks behind a desk, but not an ordinary desk. A dark, foreboding, and imposing desk that has been modified to be only 5/8 as large as a normal desk but with 175% of the arrogance.  A small but shadowy figure is perched behind

Hotlanta’s Getting Hotter (and harder)

packman_jon -
30

Atlanta, get ready.  The Sex Cannon has arrived, and he’s going to ride you all the way. The last time a force like me came inside you, you burned to the ground.  This time, I’m going to make you scream my name and want my HARD passes and sexy cumpleations.  Because

Mad MaKSK: A Furious DFOde

Old School Zero -
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[Photoshops and writing help from Mike Wallace And Gromit]   (A hot summer sun is rising over the wasteland, and while the misery of life after the end remains, something is in the air--today is different, and feeling this shift, a brainless beast emerges from its cave) THE BEN: HAAARF! THE BEN HAVE