NFL Updates:
- Cowboys DE Randy Gregory is facing additional suspension above his four games already scheduled. At this point, 6-10 looks like a pipe dream in Jerry World.
- The [*Redacted] s are considering Greg Hardy as a replacement for Junior Galette. And thus Dan Snyder returned to his natural domain of bad ownership.
- The Lions replacement for Megatron appears to be Anquan Boldin.
- Jake Long signed with the Ravens; the Falcons released Devin Hester.
- Today’s PUP list additions:
- Jordy Nelson
- Louis Murphy
- J.R. Sweezy
- Tyler Eifert
A couple of Packers QB stories round out the daily coverage I care to present:
- Forever earning Mooch’s enmity, Deanna Favre will present Brett Favre for induction into the Hall of Fame.
- Aaron Rodgers revealed on “Any Given Wednesday” what the true meaning of “OMAHA” is. All this time, I thought it was a steak advert Pey-Pey managed to sneak into game broadcasts, like Rodgers’ ‘Discount Double Check’.
Finally, Bashaud Breeland brought his bulldog puppies to training camp, where they are, unsurprisingly, a big hit among staff and fans.
Not much exciting about tonight’s Democratic Convention coverage. Here’s the agenda. The official poll will be held to confirm Hillary’s nomination; there will be a bunch of boring speeches by courageous people; and at least 1-2 outbursts from the crowd. I’m sure the report from the LGBT caucus will be riveting. It’ll all come to a head about 10:00 EDT, when Bill Clinton gets up and tries to validate his wife without sounding like a smug prick and/or a guy planning a dynasty.
It doesn’t help when places like the NY Times is openly speculating about what Bill will need to do in order to both stay busy and keep out of trouble. Good thing Chelsea’s already married and producing photogenic grandchildren.
Watch if you dare; debate as we do.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB: Cubs @ White Sox – 7:00 – ESPN (National game)
- WWE: Smackdown Live – 8:00 – USA
Alternative programming:
- CW:
- 8:00 – Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- 9:00 – MADtv – a new iteration of the old FOX staple
Nights like tonight really raise the anticipation for preseason football. SAVE US, ROGER!
I had those other 2 just open in other tabs and I didn’t want to waste them, now back to important stuff. A gif from the second best MST3K ep
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdpicfLThV1rhd46ao1_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/63d404c6b4416d56700812e778cc4ff6/tumblr_o9du8pFAj91sdqajoo1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/27006d3dbeddbe78ec3805fc96cfacc3/tumblr_o60gczIRK91uctr63o2_500.gif
http://cdn.diply.com/img/57f14fd3-9acb-41d2-a2dd-890b2bb79673.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/fa1b0db6c4242f97e22126e8e5caa666/tumblr_o9gpbvMMoY1rat938o9_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b3eb3aefed39e9b7ba25c82fbb7398a3/tumblr_o9gpbvMMoY1rat938o10_400.gif
Moar like, “IN Alice, in Wonderland,” amirite
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwyzt7XfHm1qacxhqo1_1280.jpg
Let’s start a fight. Who you got?
http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/mpb/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/seven_whobetter_02.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/617d3455271ccedf4ad04bc2b79c0b1f/tumblr_oaqjunNcSA1u7t71ro1_400.gif
There’s only one correct answer:
Only posers don’t prefer J. Elvis Weinstein
The best MST3K episodes were with Joel as host and Mike as head writer and occasional guest character. My favorite was when they were watching a particularly bad “Hercules” movie from the 60’s and Mike appears as a drunk and addled Steve Reeves.
“You could buy these, um, big jugs of wine for, like, um, sixty cents….”
I just looked it up. “Hercules Unchained” was the episode.
And it was thirteen cents a bottle.
My how our memories can be corrupted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7XZPM4mLa8
We’ve replaced Alicia Keys with Jigglypuff. Let’s see if anybody notices.
Is that on a train?
LOOKS LIKE THE FUTURE IMPORTANT PARTS ARE OK!
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Volleyball-Jump-Over-Net-Fail.gif
http://img.fark.net/images/cache/850/v/vc/fark_vcrfI6Jc1XfYjyx7hXEvWPq19bM.gif?t=A8yMdg47Kt1zWgWMD7lKNA&f=1470024000
http://66.media.tumblr.com/04fbf52c9651beca31a6dcd6eec5e932/tumblr_oa7jc8AG7h1qg39ewo1_500.gif
I like how the red thong classes up the piece.
http://www.doseoffunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/i.chzbgr-31.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/9c5ab0449c0c7268adcfbb7d18f75b4b/tumblr_o7mqovNJz31qg39ewo1_500.gif
So Hillary is winng does that mean Otto will come back?
I barely remember him. When did he stop commenting on KSK, anyway?
I think he got banned a few months before The Crappening
Nice try, assasin/Pinkerton/ex-lover trying to track down Otto. None of us will talk! I know nothing! I am
SpartacusOtto Man!http://67.media.tumblr.com/b1fd38d677a130e96e351d623eef2174/tumblr_oakm32nnUI1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
LOPSIDED BEWBS 2/10
I’m not convinced. Need a closer look.
All boobs are “lopsided.”
http://67.media.tumblr.com/0d48fb1870ba77c5fa63984ad9e8e3b1/tumblr_oay2uhfIs11sf4qp1o1_1280.png
Hee hee
“Ride”
http://66.media.tumblr.com/38a3538cd8cf74d617b2fd2f1da095e7/tumblr_oam1c40UAe1qg39ewo1_500.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/af434a500d3120ed05ea236721c1e205/tumblr_oa950ubSxt1uvbiylo1_1280.png
Fuck the world.
She did co-sign the loan and he did get an education.
The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau estimates that one-fourth of the American workforce may be eligible for repayment or loan-forgiveness programs; but being murdered ain’t one of them.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/9d1962e76dcb18224140400783415065/tumblr_o9ekmozGv01qg39ewo1_500.gif
[robbed in Spanish]
http://66.media.tumblr.com/fb54dff129b48d4e2dbb45b4ff22be83/tumblr_ne6nn2UXiu1qm02woo1_500.gif
Was this filler material from last week?
“She is obviously a rapist too.”
-FNC
She doesn’t have the rack for that dress.
Really? WTF?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/8e6daf63fa38a58829a1e35d69e3ccc2/tumblr_o8bavvCbfW1qg39ewo1_500.gif
Two more holes! Score!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/a14b5cd48f3f2edc8233c52ea69cef1c/tumblr_o9575sgq0X1qg39ewo1_500.gif
That’s gotta be NSFEarth
That gif is destroying the protective Ozone.
Bossy brunettes man.
/melts
//blames TV
And now, a joke only foar teh Hippoz……
Warrenton, MO >>>> Warrenton, NC
/looks around
//sees no Hippoz
///grumble grumble
Warrenton, MO is a malformed hair on a pimple on Satan’s right asscheek. I would legitimately burn it to the ground if it weren’t a waste of a perfectly good match.
I know nothing about it to be honest.
The joke has more to do with how much I hate Warrenton, NC….and why.
Note to self: never move to any place named Warrenton.
The Padres proceeded to walk in a run, give up a fielder’s choice for a run, and then lose on a walk off wild pitch.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvz5uoY1Su1qdehu1.gif
/Walks away muttering “Trade the bullpen they said. Hands are a dime a dozen, they said…”
Hey — you’ll always have the Chargers.
I read that as “the Clippers” for a second and now am twice as sad.
The convention has gotten me excited about the Democratic nominee a couple times tonight with their hype, then I remember it is Hillary and go back to reluctant support.
I know what you mean – there is very little Hillary can do at this point to make me want to vote for her more. Of course, short of Donald Trump getting caught in some kind of Freaky Friday situation, there’s not much that could happen that would make me want to vote for her less.
Ok, team, jury duty in the am. GET EXCITED!
“I don’t know if I can be unbiased, a bunch of people I’ve never met but hang out with online are lawyers…”
http://youtu.be/ejizOV-IQEM
Remember saying loudly “Does the defendant look foreign? ‘Cause I need to know. NOW!” Some marshalls may even get you coffee.
Holy shit that’s some serious production value. Makes the RNC’s bumper materials look like a pile of puke.
Was thinking that during the produced pieces. The surplus money is definitely starting to show.
That music video locked up my vote
I really miss that man as President.
NAFTA, repeal of Glass-Steagall, mandatory sentencing, prison privatization, the Telecommunications Act, the fuzzy intervention…yup. Good times.
That is depressing Sill. Posting facts ruins my rose tinted glasses view of his presidency
You didn’t even mention the DMCA. And there’s the problem with Clinton’s administration. It sometimes felt like he was just doing shit for the sake of doing shit. NAFTA ended up being shit, though I was all of 10 when it went into effect, so I can’t remember if it seemed like a good idea at the time. I still can’t wrap my head around repealing Glass-Steagall. I always assumed he was trying to appease the witch hunt. There’s a bunch of shit he talks about with regret. Maybe he was too busy trying to fuck the help to think straight. Either way, it’s frustrating. I imagine it’s how conservatives would look at Reagan if they were capable of intellectual honesty. Sure, he was an icon and made everybody feel good and safe, but a lot of what he did fucked a lot of people for no reason.
Without the DMCA there wouldn’t be an Internet today. Social media wouldn’t exist if they didn’t carve out the web host Safe Harbor.
Is that an argument for or against?
I think the Internet was a mistake.
Anyway, it’s in favor. I kind of like having copyright protections on my work.
I don’t want to regress to the 20 year old Digital Rights Hippy me, but the DMCA is a poorly worded, vague beast of a legislation where “copyright circumvention tool” can be applied to everything from sophisticated cracking software to a fucking crescent wrench in the right circumstances. The scope of it is ridiculous, and if it was ever enforced to the letter of the law, as opposed to being a tool for the RIAA and MPAA and DRM creators to bludgeon engineers, researchers, and students with when they’re afraid their shit isn’t as good as they advertised, we’d have to throw out half the shit we own to fully comply with it.
Yeah, well.
Sill is right though. Clinton just road the Bush successes while the Taliban planned 9/11.
I thought Saddam did 9/11?
There is a stark, stark contrast in tones between the two conventions. Curious to see what hindsight makes of the RNC’s End Of The World Apocalyptacular in a few years.
Basically a remake of The Last Days in Vietnam.
It’s so weird for him to be OLD.
BTW, I have shaken hands with Wild Bill, and those mitts are like shovels.
I don’t give a fuck. I love to hear Bill Clinton talk.
http://i.cdn.turner.com/v5cache/TBS/Images/Dynamic/i39/fg_5ACX07_03_tbsbroad_website_24fps_tmb0080_337x233_091820070402.jpg
Yep
I’ll vote for Trump if he’s willing to leave his wife alone with this dude from Arkansas for 10 minutes*
*Melania would get fucked.
“Hmm, I’d be lonely. Okay, I’ll do it…IF my daughter keeps me company.”
– Donald Trump
I watched so many bad orators at the Republican Convention. Her speech was well delivered and she is hot. Both surprised me coming from someone related to Donald
http://freecruisetickets.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/ivanka-trump-stuff-ivanka-trump.jpg
And most of the policy content in her speech was from the Democratic Party platform
Matt Kemp:
6-4 Padres!
“Close the door were you born in a barn? What am I thinking, of course you were.”
You guys watch Ash Vs. Evil Dead?
http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/298/c9845590-90c4-0133-3958-06e18a8a4ae5.gif?
I got reminded this weekend via Comic Con that I need to watch season 1. I hate I have to admit I haven’t watched yet
It’s okay, you’ve learned of your mistake, and are working to correct it.
10:10 PM: Wow, Bill Clinton looks and sounds old as fuck. He’s never going to stop talking.
10:30 PM:
The man has a gift.
“You ladies ever tried a cigar?”
Is that really from Bill’s speech? That’s amazing.
FATALITY
CLOSE!
http://orig01.deviantart.net/89f7/f/2013/164/d/1/misuzu_kamio_s_animality__updated__by_boggytheworm-d68slnq.gif
Never fucking change, Japan.
“Look honey, little Jimmy’s going to take his first stOHMYGOD!!!!!!!!”
Vin Scully just now:
“(Chris Archer) has a terrible time in the first inning, ordinarily throws quite a few pitches, is much better in the middle innings, and then gets whaled on again after the seventh.”
Vin Scully is the greatest announcer ever in any sport.
Brings me back to watching games as a kid with my grandpa, and I’m pretty sure everyone has a comment just like that (probably not with MY grandpa, but still).
He’s clearly well into the DGAF portion of his Farewell Tour.
After I read that Vin eats Jolly Ranchers to keep his throat moistened, I can’t not hear it rattling around in his mouth when he’s talking. Love that guy though.
The next 3 months should be this non-stop. Stop with the executive experience bullshit and stop with the mocking of Donald Trump. Just hammer away with past accomplishments and stories of effective, progressive liberal activism.
Yeah. THAT’LL keep the attention to the American electorate.
/points at Gratliff, whispers behind hand
Get a load of the eternal optimist over here.
THIS MISSY ELLIOTT I CALL HER CRAZY ABE BECAUSE “BOW DICKETY BOW DICKETY DICKETY BOW BOW” SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING GRANDPA SIMPSON WOULD SAY IF HE WENT OFF HIS MEDS
But would she have an onion on her belt? Highly unlikely.
NAWT CURRENTLY IN STYLE
Only half watching Bill, most of my attention is going into finding dog pics
http://www.hobotraveler.com/photos/thailand/smoking-drinking-and-sleeping-dog_photo.jpg
Don’t apologize – it’s a noble pursuit.
Yes, folks, we’re going to hit every state in this speech.
You know which tattoo you never regret?
The one you don’t get.
I don’t regret any of the three I have.
But the next one? Could be!
A whites-only swimming pool, I’m sure.
http://p.fod4.com/p/media/edd7f0dcdd/5VllY2qvRjasQHCBnv0O_Dog%20Crush%20Slip.gif
Do you think Fox News is showing this with a picture of Monica in a sidebar?
The Fox News chyron is nothing but curse words.
While we’re listing Bill’s accomplishments can we expect “He banged an intern, stuck a cigar in her vagina, lied about, got impeached but DIDN’T GET CONVICTED!”?
Just curious.
You forgot “decorated a blue dress”.
Might as well, Trump would probably see it as a challenge and try to one-up him by telling a tale of doing something even better/worse.
Big deal. Sad.
http://i.amz.mshcdn.com/zCTn7GFfHj46anABEYizaSnJ-IU=/950×534/2016%2F02%2F01%2Fa9%2FDonaldTrump.02409.jpg
Fucking hell that photo might as well be the alternate poster for the ‘Flowers in the Attic’ movie.
That’s why Lena Dunham got to speak.
Seriously, who the fuck is this Missy Elliot/Alec Baldwin ad supposed to appeal to?
http://pre11.deviantart.net/660f/th/pre/i/2013/058/7/6/who_you__by_isaiahstephens-d5wfxn4.jpg
Clearly not me
Missy Elliot/Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin is a national treasure YOU THOUGHTLESS LITTLE PIG!
INORITE?
Jebus
People that have pubic hair ironically?
Ok, that made me laugh prolly cause of the beer but still.
Nah, it’s not just the beer, that was legitimately awesome.
Amazon is the largest retailer on the planet, worth half a trillion fucking dollars.
This is their new flagship product, the thing that is supposed to forever change how all of humanity will interact with the internet.
And that’s the ad their agency came up with. And that the Amazon marketing execs greenlit.
If I was Jeff Bezos I’d start my own space program just so I could shoot those responsible into the center of the sun.
http://m.memegen.com/ot1evp.jpg
Picture of Golden Retriever puppies yawning for no reason
http://omgcutethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/golden-retriever-puppies-028-04272013.gif
Never need a reason.
It is a tag for tonight’s discussion.
http://img004.lazygirls.info/people/kim_novak/kim_novak_sweater_puppies_1950s_Q3kddsd.sized.jpg
CHECK OUT THOSE PUPPIES YEEHAW
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS?
My kid is watching Jem and the Holograms on HBO (yeah, we rich), and I’m not demanding a change to the DNC. Am I a bad liberal, or do I just have good taste? (Also, Madam First Lady killed everyone else’s speeches in advance.)
It’s Bill FUCKING Clinton, though
Literally. Quite literally.
The first FIRST BIG SWINGIN COCK. Or gentleman.
Indeed
AMY KLOUBCHAR: …and that woman card is VOTING!
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ: That is so lame.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: So lame that it’s…cool?
http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s480x480/e15/11191248_666706053431204_1021056354_n.jpg
Frinkiac.com
Damn, that’s a better shot (that’s what she said)
frinkiac has 3 million screenshots – basically every frame of every episode.
It’s how I make all of those Simpsons macros and gifs.
Yeah, I just got lazy and went to Google Images first. That’s why I’m an utter failure as a professional, and why my DFO shares are only worth $6.
“At this point, 6-10 looks like a pipe dream in Jerry World.”
Sweet! Rob wrote the 2016 Cowboys preview for me!
“Pipe? Yeah, lemme hit that.”
– Randy Gregory
“Save me some.”
— Josh Gordon
pla·gia·rism
ˈplājəˌrizəm
noun
the practice of taking someone else’s work or ideas and passing them off as one’s own.
synonyms: copying, infringement of copyright, piracy, theft, stealing; informal cribbing
“accusations of plagiarism”
YOU DO YOUR OWN WORK!
It’s totally cool if I just cut and paste it, put quotes around it and then write “Beerguyrob” afterwords.
Which I am now sorely tempted to do, because I am an asshole.
BYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!