Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1.7K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Romonobyl

This was what I was afraid of…

Redshirt

Uh oh…

Recovery Whiskey

NO

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Goddammit!

...

GODDAMN IT

Old School Zero

Noooooooooo

Senor Weaselo

Ruh roh.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Backed the wrong horse, Beats

Wakezilla

Strong taek: Atlanta isnt feeding Julio nearly as much as they should

WCS

How do I get Kristen Schaal to sexually harass me on the phone?

Romonobyl

That was disturbing.

Spur

comment image

Senor Weaselo

NYC dogs also don’t give a fuck.

herodotus450

/crosses of “doggy style” from list of Katie Nolan things to do
//Renames title of list to “Thnigs to do to Katie Nolan”

Doktor Zymm

Oh fuck.

...

OH MY GOD

comment image

entropy

“Here’s the ghost of a dog we treated horribly for years.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Onto the third sazerac of the game

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Aaaand I am no longer Up For Whatever. Let the poor dog test

Rest.

Romonobyl

What kind of dick shows up at a party with an already opened 12 pack?

Old School Zero

The guy who never moved past college frat party mode

Trevor Semen

ITS SPUDS MCKENZIE!

jjfozz

As the grandson of immigrants this whole thing makes me want to punch Trump in his tiny balls

Beastmode Ate My Baby

My grandfather kinda came here, y’know, illegally, so I get tired of Trump’s anti-immigrant spiel.

Of course, a wall wouldn’t have stopped him since he just jumped ship.

Redshirt

That commercial cost twelve million dollars.

Beerguyrob

Spuds Mackenzie – when you’re #UpForIrresponsibility

WCS

Okay, can we #BoycottBudLight now?

Doktor Zymm

My friends don’t drink Bud Lite. That’s why they’re my friends.

Wakezilla

We finally found Katie Nolan’s weakness at halftime. She’s bad at faking enjoyment.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This bodes poorly for me.

Duchess

It’s like the Patriots can’t win if they dont have the walkthrough tape of the other team or something.

herodotus450
...

Are we sure Josh McDaniels and Lane Kiffin aren’t the same person?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I was thinking Sean Spicer

Recovery Whiskey

Canadians from Vancouver use any excuse to invade

makeitsnowondem

I want to fucking frame that shot of Josh McDaniels’ thousand-yard stare.

Wakezilla

A friend of mine is a member of the Vancouver Whitecaps support group, the Southsiders. Because her and her bro are Iranian, she has been banhammered from America. Ao to show support, the Southsiders are not going to America this MLS season.

Good for them!

JerBear50

Take away our soccer… that’ll show us.

Gratliff

I figured the MLS was an international joke. Do people really come here for it?

Wakezilla

Oh yeah. Cascadia trips bring in a lot of cash/fans for the weekend

Gratliff

TIL the Pacific NW wants to secede

ThePirateSloth

The Lady Pirate and her son, as not really football fans because the StL Cardinals are a thing… don’t understand my Pats/Brady/Grumblelord hatred. They sorta think it’s over the top for me to actively hate Brady during games.

These poor, deluded souls. All they have is the beisbol.

Romonobyl

“Alexa, how about a handy”?

King Hippo

Happy happy joy joy!!

Shogun Marcus

SOS…SOS…DREAMBOAT SINKING! HIT LARGE PATCHES OF BLACK ICE!!! SEND WORD TO DER CHEETOFURHER!

Redshirt

Daughter of the Year

...

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey cool…#62 is Joe Thuney, an NCSU alum.
/shows self out

Spur
herodotus450

We came for her looks, stayed for her brain. Then came for her looks.

herodotus450

by the way, they switched the meaning of “for” and “from” in the middle of that comment.

Senor Weaselo

Hmm, two scores with 11 minutes, still closer than I’d like.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto

jjfozz

2 score game. Hey joe you want a napkin to get that cum off your chin?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

If this game lasts any longer, I’m going to have to see my doctor

...

Those sacks make me feel good in my sack.

Spur

Brady down again! SACKED

laserguru

Fuck yes!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Down Goes Brady” in Howard Cossell’s voice

Senor Weaselo

Yay more sacks!

WCS

ALL TEH BRADY SACKS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Brady head go bouncey bouncey.

Doktor Zymm

Like a basketball!

Romonobyl

The Pats offensive play scheme:
As a last resort, throw to the black guy.

Old School Zero

Beautiful sack.

Romonobyl

Why thanks, it’s a bitch to shave though.

Old School Zero

Don’t I know it.

1 13 14 15 16 17 23