Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
1.7K Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Doktor Zymm

Dammit Atlanta…
http://i.imgur.com/dENl6Yx.gif

Wakezilla

C’mon defense! !!

...

Anger level rising…

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

And that is the difference pre and post deflategate: no call

entropy

NOW HIT HIM AGAIN

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

So close

Beerguyrob

Would they dare put Brady in concussion protocol?

Doktor Zymm

C’mon Atlanta D……
comment image

Redshirt

92 yard drive to win the game?

(SB23 flashbacks start)

AHHH!

laserguru

I know what we need.

SHOTS!!!

...

I’m fine with shooting Brady, too.

Old School Zero

Worst they can do here is tie.

Senor Weaselo

That’s bad too!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Gratliff

Just think of how many years we’ll have to hear about this bullshit

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pray for catastrophic climate change.

Senor Weaselo

Eternity?

JustStopDude

comment image

Senor Weaselo

Good levels low again.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Atlanta hires receivers named Julio and Mohamed? I will bring football jobs back to Americans! #SaveOurNFL”

-Da Prez

Spur

Dear God…Atlanta is gonna fuck my whole evening up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well fuck.

herodotus450
ThursdaySkyGoddess
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Penalty, sleeperholding

ThePirateSloth

If ATL ends up Seahawks-ing this shit, I will never be kind to another bird for the rest of my life.

laserguru

Oh for fucks sake.

...

Oh Christ.

Romonobyl

This game is like an unexpected finger up the butt in the middle of a perfectly good blowjob.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

True, I am ashamed at how much I’m enjoying it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That sounds better than the current anus puckering.

herodotus450

The only question is, was proper lube applied and does the applyer know where to find the prostate?
/Asking for a friend

Trevor Semen

This comment deserves more likes

Recovery Whiskey

Bullshit call

Duchess

Ball placement is such a bullshit narrative tool by hack announcers. yes if it was on the correct side of the receiver body it was due to placement. But he did not place that ball between the defenders arms. the defender failed to defend the ball. That is pure chance and had more to do to the defender and not the QB intelligence.

Redshirt

Aw the Falcons owner went on the field. He jinxed his team.

Beerguyrob

Because a field goal doesn’t help, Matt Ryan?

Spur

Throw it away dude

Senor Weaselo

Oh come on, the one thing you can’t do there is take a sack.

Doktor Zymm

Good levels…..dropping

Romonobyl

Shit again…

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Doktor Zymm

“Julio? Is he Mexican?”
-Trump

Gratliff

The spanish announce table just said “Incredible” 12 times.

Guys, I can speak Spanish now!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Julio Jones is my new lord and savior

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Bill Simmons is currently declaring that the luckiest play ever.

WCS

NAWT FACKIN FAHHHHH YOU DO NAWT KNOW OWAH PAIN

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This room just had a Juliogasm

Shogun Marcus

Pay that man ALL THE MONIES.

Doktor Zymm

Beautiful catch! Julio Jones is amazingly good at catching stuff!

Vauguely related cause Falcons..
http://www.sharegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/zach-galifianakisbored-to-death-quotes.gif

Duchess

That’s a great catch… or is it?

Old School Zero

Julio Jones isn’t even an alien, or a robot, or an alien robot. Pretty sure he’s phantasmagoric.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hu-Lee-Ohhhhhh

Col. Duke LaCross

JULIO! JUOLY SHIT!

Redshirt

Julio is a god!

Spur

JULIO JONES!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Julio Jones, good at the footballing.

1 15 16 17 18 19 23