As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!
In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.
Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.
Enjoy the game people.
Does HW get to flip the OT coin, too?
Hines Ward?
Hat Williams?
Welp.
Football is stupid.
I hate fucking football.
I told you all to stop jinxing it, God damnit!!!!
Also, fuck Atlanta and their prevent defense
Offsides, declined, tie game.
There’s cake?
FUCKING FUCKS!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/be821a12bce66ab18be7b390cd96f4ce/tumblr_o15hd5nw6g1txj6byo2_250.gif
No we hate you because you area you.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I’m ashamed none of us came up with any good edelman/concentration jokes.
Bannon Goebbelsed them all up
FFS ATL D, just let ’em score already and leave some time on the clock.
I was hoping they’d Pete Carroll that
We’ve replaced the falcon secondary with the packers secondary. Anyone notice?
Black Books is really an excellent source of quote expressing how I feel about this Patriots comeback.
http://cdn.quotesgram.com/img/62/10/486812569-tumblr_m7wlssnIPn1r19to9o1_500.jpg
God is punishing us for all the climax jokes.
Prevent defense. It prevents nothing
nothing but victory
Falcons, I will never forgive you if you let this happen.
This can’t happen. This won’t happen. I will not have my child born in a world where the Fucktriots are champions.
If this games to overtime, I will go find an apple juicebox to sacrifice to Eli.
Someone in the stands get it to him.
FUCK YOU DOINK THIS WASN’T PART OF THE PLAN!
I want to die.
Edelman inherited that concentration from his European ancestors.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/ayne.gif
So does the ref get credit for being awesome, or does he call it that to force the challenge?
I’m scared, whiskey. Hold me.
I fucking hate New England.
IT’S A TRAP
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/mpf.gif
It’s happening, isn’t it. And Tyree mention, DRINK.
Sacrifice everything to BLEERGH!
That’s a crazy catche, but it has nothing to do with concentration. Just luck/bad luck
Maybe not concentration, but reflexes and dexterity, certainly
For sure, Roethlisberger-level proficiency at the tip drill were on display.
That is not amazing concentration… that’s happening in real time and chance. You slow it down it looks like there is more thought going into the actions than there actually is.
Bill Simmons says that was entirely skill and grit, no luck involved whatsoever.
Good upbringing brought us that catch
What the what
That’s what it took to bring internet dad out to play.
Welp…
Fuck, that’s a catch.
I’ve seen it all now…
Horseshoes are just flying out dey asses now.
I was sure that was a Bailey Jay caliber trap
Haha, I totally don’t know who that is but im going to “You like that? HUH” it anyway. Total coincidence.
Holy shit, he caught it.
How much swearing? ALL the swearing.
Fuck right off!
Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. Fuck this shit. DISTRACTION TIME.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Crap
OH FUCK NO
KILL EVERYBODY