Your “All About That (In)Action, Boss!”” Monday Evening Open Thread

Aww…Peyton still sad?

NFL News:

  • Backup QB news:
  • The Bills also signed Ian Seau, the undrafted free-agent nephew of Junior and proof the Spanos family wouldn’t know a good PR move if it came wrapped in a box with a pretty bow.
    • of course, justice would require BOLTMAN to emerge from the box to reap their souls.
  • LeSean McCoy & Kiko Alonso are having a very sad Instagram fight.
  • The pre-season schedule has been released, “highlighted” by a Week-3 “Battle of Los Angeles” no one should rightly care about.
    • This one, however…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0kJLW2EwMg

Finally, in “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” news, the League is investigating an arm-wrestling tournament that took place in Las Vegas.

  • “The Pro Football Arm Wrestling Championship” took place at the MGM Grand, and participation put the players in violation of the league’s policy against gambling bars, which players from taking part in promotional events at casinos.
  • According to PFT, Steelers linebacker James Harrison, Dolphins wide receiver Kenny Stills, 49ers linebacker Navorro Bowman, Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey, Raiders punter Marquette King, Raiders defensive end Mario Edwards, Patriots safety Patrick Chung, and Cowboys receiver Lucky Whitehead took part in the event.
    • Marshawn Lynch was also there, but because he is currently retired, he would/will not face punishment.
      • no matter how much Roger want to.
  • The contest, which took place April 5-9, is scheduled to be broadcast on CBS on May 27-28, with the championship round shown on June 3.

NHL News: The regular season ended yesterday, so it’s Black Monday for coaches.

  • FIRED!
    • Lindy Ruff – Dallas
    • Willie Desjardins – Vancouver
    • Tom Rowe – Florida
      • technically, “removed” from his interim position.
    • Daryl Sutter [Update – thanks Sharkbait!]

So, I had the a bad weekend. Thursday was a non-layoff, but you’re on the cutting block, notice from my school board. They’re going to consolidate the division from three locations into one. The place I work at is a satellite location from one of the two proposed closure locations. If they close my site, I lose my 4 days/week gig. If I lose my spot, I leave my desk job and go back to teaching a regular classroom-lecture class 5 days/week – which is fine. But due to seniority, I would be relegated to teaching the ESL & ELL Level 1 & 2 classes, and in the afternoon & evening – not fine.

So, to calm down, I spent the evening at the brewery down the street. In the process, I made a new best friend.

Isn’t it handsome? I should have combined it with a chocolate stout, to see if it tasted like a s’more, but it was too damn tasty on its own.

Saturday, I had to go for an MRI, to determine if they could repair the torn sphincter muscle (long story) that occurred when they removed the abscess (old story) last year. Halfway through the procedure, just before they injected the contrast fluid, they determined that my bloodwork wasn’t current enough, and that I had to get that done before they would continue the scan. So, a four-month wait to get a 30-minute test had to be stopped after 15-minutes because no one had taken five minutes to ensure my paperwork was up to date.

So, my lovely wife took me for lunch, where I had another 3-4 of these

Now, I sit at work wondering if I will have a job or be the proud owner of a Seton Drain by the end of the month.

Good times.


NHL Playoffs start Wednesday.

So, like last year, I’m writing series previews but taking requests for people who want to write about/aboot specific teams. Call your shot & email me your write-up, and I’ll include them in the Open Threads or separate Team Preview posts on Wednesday & Thursday. Make sure to include your first-round prediction for that series as well.


Tonight’s sports:

  • WWE: Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • apparently, it’s “Brand shake-up” week, so expect some faces to change shows
  •  NBA:
    • Cavs at Heat – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • Wizards at Pistons – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Rockets at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT / TSN1
    • Jazz at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  • MLB:
    • Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
      • the Cubs raise their banner tonight, while the Yankees pick their noses in disgust.

Thor:Ragnarok trailer?

THOR:RAGNAROK TRAILER!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

Pre-tailgate Bills fans? https://imgur.com/91UtYgc

Unsurprised

Savage, but fair.comment image

...

My mind is so warped now that when I was out at a bar in Lakeview this weekend my first thought while looking at every bro that walked in was “I’ll bet he’s totally fine with rape.”

Unsurprised

I’m certain they are. The question is whether they’ve raped anyone.

Unsurprised

Wow, they really are down with rape.

The map shows 16 students have reported being raped at FSU fraternities since 2013, 47 percent of the total where a location was reported. One frat, Phi Sigma Kappa, has had rapes reported every year for four years in a row.

http://thetab.com/us/floridastate/2016/12/02/half-of-reported-rapes-at-fsu-occur-at-frats-new-map-shows-5348

Brick Meathook

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Brocky

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Unsurprised

I’ve seen it on a dead malls site before, but who knows anymore.

...

Nice. I’m fighting with people over this United thing. Guh.

...

It would seem I do.

Gratliff

I’m about to short circuit over every aspect of this shit.

Stupid Person: “I don’t trust anything the government tells me!”

Police: “An unruly passenger fell while being carried off a plane, causing visible injuries to his face.”

Stupid Person: “WHY WOULD THE POLICE LIE!?”

...

Don’t make my mistake. Close Twitter while you can. Throw your computer into the river. Run. RUN AWAY.

Gratliff
...

I guess I can’t get over how many people excuse and even *welcome* brutality to maintain the existing order. It really bothers me.

Unsurprised

Forget it, ICRM. It’s America.

Unsurprised

Chicago Police.

...

It’s amazing not only that they issued that statement after video of the incident went viral contradicting their take but their made up story was the most transparent and stereotypical lie that domestic abusers use. “He fell.”

Unsurprised

Chicago. Police.

Unsurprised

No one has ever been murdered by the state based on shit science before. The system works. So, no problems. Out of sight, out of mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Jeff Sessions deems vital improvement in police work to be “New-fangled hogwash.”

Unsurprised

ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHIP!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay, but also I’m skeptical.

Unsurprised

Sorry, dude. No dispensary loyalty cards for you here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The feds can get the data some other way, but at least they are showing some independence.

Unsurprised

as easy as grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the liquor store.

Joke’s on me. It’s way, WAY easier to get pot than liquor in Oregon.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In Grand Theft Auto I used to sometimes go to the airport for no particular reason and blow shit up. It’s like I was clairvoyant somehow.

Gratliff

I mean, 15 years ago, South Park had an episode where getting fucked in the ass by a machine was vastly superior experience to air travel. We’re masochists for even putting up with their shit on a good day.

Unsurprised

That episode was before Congress even created the fucking TSA, if I’m remembering correctly.

Gratliff

Looks like we’ve got our next big wrestling meme.
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/851622329729912834

Senor Weaselo

Why are they doing Street Fighter cosplay?

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ. The reply makes me just want to kill everyone.

Gratliff

Holy shit. I missed that. I hate people.

Brick Meathook

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...

If you look closely, you can see the overbooked passengers they tossed out on to the runway as they were taking off!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, I haven’t seen that many skid marks since laundry day at Najeh Davenport’s house.

Romonobyl
Sharkbait

Think Olivia let Aaron keep the strap on she wore?

Romonobyl

Well, they usually get to keep whatever they owned prior to the relationship, so…yes.

Brocky

Suddenly, Olivia doesn’t seem like such a “hot model who can’t act”

I mean, yeah still kinda, but you know what I mean

JustStopDude

Sometimes…you got to just keep on truckin’

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WCS

Time for Saul.

theeWeeBabySeamus

yup…then you better haul yinz arse to poker.

theeWeeBabySeamus

goddamn i hate living in the fucking sticks. Power flash at 10pm on the fucking nose combined with DirecTV’s reboot time means no Saul for me until later.

I’ve only been looking forward to this for like forever. Thanks universe, fuck you too.

Sharkbait

City>Suburbia

Brocky

If this past election cycle has proved anything, it’s this

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not even in suburbia. This is some country ass country. You know what they never heard of here? Hi damn C…got some yak juice shooting outta some goat…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-FWVddFNcY

JustStopDude

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Sharkbait

Moar coaches getting canned: Ice Rams fire Dean Lombardi and Daryl Sutter

litre_cola

I would really like the Ice Bombers to hire him.

Sharkbait

The new Ice Raiders need a coach

...

It’ll be such a buzzkill if the Cubs get cornholed tonight.

...

So that whole ceremony was self-indulgent BUT I DON’T CARE THEY’RE FUCKING CHAMPIONS WOOOOOOOOO

Sharkbait

Aren’t they all?

litre_cola

G’day lads. How are all doing?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m okay. My back is falling to pieces, but I really can’t complain.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ah, well…
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Senor Weaselo

Ooh, microtonal Star-Spangled Banner!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I got yer Star-Spangled Banner right here! (get it?)

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Brocky

Reverse Gif, because why not:

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Senor Weaselo

Did Alex Wood just sack-tap someone running down the line?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

No joke here, just enjoying this gift all week:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

……… wait, you have an idea of what gif you want before you search?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

So many torn sphincter muscles in this post, I thought I was still reading ISoaG

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Canadian summer fun?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Ice Giants over Ice Alouettes in 7.

Never forget:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Damned rain. I WANT MY BANNER RAISING CEREMONY.

LemonJello

Will this help?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Banner”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

“Raising”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do you think the media’s war boners have gone down yet and they will get back to talking about all the Russia shit? Or has it been flushed down the memory toilet already?

...

If your war boner lasts more than four years, see a doctor because that war’s lasting four more years and you ain’t going soft.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I thought war boners were measured in Friedman units of six months.

herodotus450

Only if Syria has a McDonalds

Unsurprised

Russia? What’s that?

Brocky

i’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:

have people just completely forgotten what a teaser trailer is?

Teaser trailers don’t have plot points FFS!

LemonJello

http://fooyoh.com/files/attach/images02/3004/442/281/015/alexandra2.gif

Looks like everything’s coming up Daddario tonight.

...

She’s hot enough that I didn’t leave in the middle of San Andreas.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Now THAT is fucking HOOOOOOT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

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JustStopDude

Actual conversation I had with a cable company today, trying to get my fucking internet to work…

“Well Mr JSD, on our end, it should work”

“How do you figure. I can get to Cox website, but when I try to self activate, the website locks up”

“Yes sir, that means its your modem”

“No…if it were my modem, then I would not be able to get to your site at all. And before you suggest it, my cable modem is ones Cox says is supported”

“Well I will have to send out a technician”

“I am NOT PAYING FOR A TECHNICIAN. This is an issue with your website. I cannot believe this is not an issue others have run into”

“Well we do get a number of these calls. Sir…have you considered one of our TV/internet/phone packages?”

“Why would giving you more responsibilities make your failures less irritating to me?”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

just ::hug:: See you at poker

JustStopDude

I fucking shit you not, two movers and myself were able to empty out my apartment in the time it took me to get the fucking internet working.

The frustrating fucking thing is these customer service people will not tell you “Look…I don’t fucking know. Someone here knows, but I am not allowed to ask around. I am just going to keep talking until you hang up. If you are smart, hang up with me right now and immediately call back because chances are someone will know what they are doing”

Four fucking phone calls. First three each lasted about 40 minutes a piece of me doing the same fucking shit. Last call, just about 10 minutes ago. I start talking to the person. She is “Okay. Give me like 30 seconds….okay..do you got internet now?”

fucking amazing when you get a hold of someone that knows what they are doing but its a complete crapshoot and then never admit they have no fucking idea.

Unsurprised

Monopolies are good, if regulated.

JustStopDude

That board game sucks ass.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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LemonJello

The only thing I have in common with these lovely lassies? I’m not wearing pants, either.

Unsurprised

This is Friday and Saturday: https://www.springbeerandwinefest.com

Fuck it. I’m going to volunteer.

LemonJello

Seems like a good choice to me.

Unsurprised

Cate Blanchett looks like Emily Blunt as Hela. I’d still have preferred Alexandra Daddario.
http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/stubbleupdate/3881285/272338/272338_original.jpg

LemonJello

They’d have to scotch-guard the theater seats and hose down the floors after every show with your casting choice.

Unsurprised

Worth it.

LemonJello
Unsurprised

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LemonJello
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I fucking solved 4 computer problems on my spring break for my dad from classes and he was a dick because I was kinda drunk. I slurred a word twice, he calls me a drunk. His favorite son ends up naked somewhere on our property maybe when he is here.

Unsurprised

The front page of reddit has several links to the United videos and also one of “United nearly kills my greyhound,” which I’m not linking to because I know better. My point is that at least you aren’t a fucking inhuman automaton working for United. And if you are, go fuck yourself to death.

/May have absorbed too much heat from Burneko’s Deadspin post.

In other good news, the Democrats are doing their damndest to snatch defeat from the jaws of potential victory in tomorrow’s special election in the Kansas 4th (just as they’re so looking forward to blowing the Georgia 6th next week), a district that is competitive even though Trump won it by +30. But the state and national party never supported it until today because apparently the whole point of bringing on Tom Perez to deal with big contributors was to then take that money and then sit on it. Because motherfuck the Democratic Party.

...

I’m genuinely amazed at the number of people *enthusiastically* defending United because “those are the rules.”

Those are the people tyranny and atrocities are built upon.

Unsurprised

Fuck it, dude.

Senor Weaselo
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Excuse to post Los Angeles is Burning? Excuse to post Los Angeles is Burning.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxoD9zWY9Rg

LemonJello

Huh. I was thinking it’d be something along these lines:
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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blackroseMD1

Anything is a good excuse to post Bad Religion. Especially Los Angeles is Burning.

LemonJello

FUCK YES! THOR:RAGNAROK TRAILER!*

I thought my day was bookended like a giant shit sandwich, but I’m just facing a financial dilemma, not the loss of my current vocation.

*Nerd boner: full tumescence.

blaxabbath

Also, I bet a private doctor wouldn’t have fucked up your test results.

(Just kidding – in America, you’d have been billed for the additional bloodwork 5 years ago and now you’d have reached your lifetime benefits limit so we’d leave you on the side of the road to die while ripping on teachers unions.)

blaxabbath

Also, what’s the carb content?

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LemonJello

I would like to try this beverage.

litre_cola

Available in liquor stores all over BC?

blaxabbath

Saturday, I had to go for an MRI, to determine if they could repair the torn sphincter muscle (long story)

We’ve got time.