TGISF… AKA “Why Are These Pages Stuck Together?” Sexy Friday Open Thread

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

–Frank Zappa

Get it?

So, it probably isn’t too difficult to figure out this week’s theme.  But I’m still not telling you yet.

But here’s a “hint”.

I enjoy reading for pleasure.  Unfortunately, I don’t have much time to do that these days.  Hopefully soon I will again.

When I read for pleasure though, it’s generally either fiction – novels; or non-fiction – history, psychology or sometimes philosophy.  In fact I’d have to say my favorite reads would be either fiction with a historical background, or post-apocalyptic fiction.

Human behaviour interests me a great deal.  Among other things, I find it interesting to explore what the social ramifications might be if society suddenly broke down for some reason.

Other “guilty” pleasures?  Horror fiction and biographies about serial killers.

What can I say?  I’m weird that way (and a lot of other ways, too).

But there is great truth in this very famous quote….

But you wanna know something interesting?  Or at least I find it interesting…YMMV…

That’s not the original quote.  And it wasn’t Churchill who should be credited.  If Churchill really said it, and he probably did, he was influenced by this…

Pretty much the same thing, yes.  But for years I believed the quote to be Churchill’s.

I later learned otherwise.  At the Library.

This gentleman is not particularly well known I suppose.  But he should be.  Having read some of his writings semi-recently, I find his thought process very interesting.  Also rather enlightening about a great many things.  He makes you think about things.  And isn’t that the whole point?

You should go to your library and look him up.  He’s there waiting to meet you right now.

But guess what else I learned at the library?  Technically, that quote above isn’t original either.  Now, I’m not saying Santayana is a plagiarist.  He’s not.

But did you know that Edmund Burke (do you even know who he is?) said the same thing, just more awkwardly because of the circumstances/language of his time?  But that’s not really why I’m even bringing Burke into this.  The reason I bring Burke up at all is this quote….

People crushed by law, have no hopes but from power. If laws are their enemies, they will be enemies to laws; and those who have much to hope and nothing to lose, will always be dangerous.

-Edmund Burke, October 1777

If that quote/thought/idea doesn’t make you think, especially given our current climate in the world nearly 240 years later?

Libraries, ftw.

 

tWBS ‘ Favorite Books

Not that you asked, LOL. (and also in no particular order)

The Art of War – Sun Tzu

If you’ve never read this book, you should.  Even though it was written with military strategy in mind (a product of the time and culture), it’s really more philosophy than war strategy.  IMHO it is an invaluable philosophical look at human behaviour.  Everyone should read this book at least once IMHO.  I’ve read it several times.  And will probably read it several more times before I die.  I always learn something anew when I re-read it.

The Stand – Stephen King

Yeah I know.  It’s become a cliché at this point.  Only it’s not.  The supernatural/horror aspect aside, it is one of the best fictional looks at how society can break down and things can go sideways really damned quickly.

The Road – Cormac McCarthy

See above, The Stand.  Same reasons.  It’s fiction, but it gives a wonderful look into how things can go even more sideways before anyone even realizes it’s happening.  Now considering the book’s subject matter, using the term “wonderful” to describe it is probably not wise of me.  But I stand by it.  But do not read this book if you’re already depressed.

The Holy Bible – Various

I know this one will surprise a great many people, as they know I am not particularly religious.  And I’m not.  But it’s not only the Bible.  I include any piece of literature which any religious group holds sacred.  The Quran.  The Torah.  Buddhavacana (which is a little more complicated, which we’re NOT going to get into here, that could take years to explain).  And many others.  But even though I’m not religious, I recognize that religion is one of the biggest influences in how people behave, especially towards one another.  Always has been.  Trust me folks, understanding the motivations of other people’s behaviours, other cultures’ motivations?  Like The Art of War, I consider it invaluable.

My guilty pleasures regarding reading are pretty simple, the results of influences I’ve already mentioned.

Most anything by Stephen King (read the short story collection Night Shift , many of which were made into feature films…but the reads are better)…..as I already touched on, King has become a cliché more or less these days.  But there is a reason why he is the best known fiction writer of this era.

Dean Koontz (everyone should read Odd Thomas…the sequels were OK.  But if the original doesn’t have you in tears by the end, then you have no soul)….Koontz finds little nuances in life and explores them as well as anyone.  He’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but if human behaviour interests you and you enjoy reading fiction, he is difficult to top.

Robin Cook (medical/science based fiction…he’s one of my favorites, Chromosome 6 being my favorite probably)….Cook was very good at getting the technical aspects of medicine/science correct, while also exploring the implications thereof.  Chromosome 6, at its core, is a medical/ethical enigma as in “Just because we can, does that mean we should?”  But it’s way more than that.  Great book from every angle, IMHO.

And many others, but that’s enough of that for now.  Let’s move along.

Smart and Sexy Sports

NFL

There’s “almost real” football to be seen tonight.  But not until late.  And there’s more to be had over the weekend.

Tonight:

  • Minnesota at Seattle – 10:00pmEDT – NFLN

 

MLB

The Dodgers continue to lay waste to everyone in their path and the AL East has more or less come down to Boston and New York.  This makes the media very happy, trust me.

But here’s what I find more interesting…

If the playoffs started today, the NL wild card teams would be Colorado and Arizona.  But that’s not the most interesting part.  Both are currently tied and hold a 4.5 game cushion in the wild card race…while at the same time, both trail the Dodgers by NINETEEN games in the NL West.  Holee Molee.

If the Dodgers continue their current pace they’ll win 116 games.  That’s only ever been done twice, and only once in the modern era (Seattle, 2001).  And they even would have a real shot at breaking that mark.

I should also point out that both teams who managed to previously win 116 games in the regular season did NOT win the World Series that year.

Tonight:

  • NYY at Boston – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)
  • Seattle at Tampa Bay – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)

Full Schedule

Standings

It’s OK Because It’s Educational

 

So how did the subject of libraries and books even come up?  Well, you can blame Litre-cola for this one.  This is his request, and I’m now going to do my best to shift gears and do it justice.

I hope he likes it.  I hope all of you do, as well.

FWIW, the theme is technically two different ones….Sexy Librarians and Curvy Redheads.  My attempt was make it Sexy Curvy Redheaded Librarians (Litre-cola is just as weird in the head Brocky apparently) but there is a shortage of appropriate photos, so we’re combining.

Enjoy…..

 

Well, this seems like a good place to stop before we end up killing Litre-cola from lack of blood to his brain.  Or he has to buy new underpants.  Or Mrs Litre walks in on him and murders him.

But go to the library.  Get a book.  Educate yourself on anything you’re interested in.  You’ll be glad you did.

Plus, Librarians are hot and you never know what might happen…..

 

Enjoy your weekend folks.

Love ya’s.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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WCS

Lil’ WCS is sitting on the couch, trying to drink my beer.

Yes, it’s unopened. I’m a crappy parent, but, I’ll wait till she’s two before I let her start drinking.

Unsurprised

That’s when I started.

Unsurprised

I turned out okay.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’m going to take solace in vodka.

I also celebrate with vodka. It’s basically my go-to substance to abuse.

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen a Chapman piss off New York this much since Mark David.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKITY-FUCK.

Senor Weaselo

You too?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hey, Fant might actually make a decent starting left…

Oh. Never mind.

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Brick Meathook

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JustStopDude

This fucking blows.

I was out in town, hanging with a lady friend and I got a call from work that a site potentially damaged one of our motors. So I get to immediately sober up and sit by the phone and answer stupid questions all night.

So its shitty preseason football and most likely a shitty dominos pizza (I failed to get groceries after work because I was planning on having a late night) for this fun guy. WHOOOOOOOOOO FRIDAY!

blaxabbath

You guys should put your motors in some kind of protective case.

JustStopDude

I’m fairly certain this was the site that asked for 2 inches of shims and when I told them that no…you will get 0.254in of shims for all four corners together, they told me that wouldn’t work.

“Well neither does putting a 12000 hp, 3600 RPM motor on stilts”.

I suspect they butchered the installation, damaged the bearings, and are now going to claim it was a manufacturing defect. I have to stand by and talk the field engineer, who is an electrical engineer, through this bullshit.

Unsurprised

It didn’t really need to be said. It works on its own.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wait, waaaaaait, WAAAAAAAAAIT! Domino’s?

GOOOOOOOODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNIT!!!

herodotus450

Dont you remember their ad campaign a few years ago: “Not as bad anymore,” and its true!

Senor Weaselo

1. Domino’s
2. Pizza Hut
3. Papa John’s

My expertise, of course, is being a New Yorker.

herodotus450

Gotta support the team, gotta go to Little Caesars.

Unsurprised

I’d get St. Louis pizza before I got Papa John’s. I’d get that janky-ass rectangular school pizza over PJ. I’d eat your ass before I eat PJ.

Mr. Ayo

You don’t have a Little Caesers nearby? Bummer.

...

Ah ha. Britt McHenry is writing for The Federalist now. That’s perfect.

King Hippo

Sure. “Writing.”

Unsurprised

Spewing shitty takes about Kevin Durant. Quite an auspicious start.

...

The Federalist is great because it brags about half of its staff being female and somehow they managed to find every angry, repressed, suburban married woman who hates everyone who is enjoying their life and not bound to maternal obligation like they are.

Unsurprised

I hate people like that and I don’t even do shit or enjoy life.

...

I’d refer to it as “textual berating of the poor.”

Unsurprised

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laserguru

I did it!

I survived the 2 and 1/2 weeks of 11 plus hour days! I’m officially burnt toast but I’m gonna enjoy the hell out of this weekend.

WOOO!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym2huLDA_rE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So…did you get the contract extension?

laserguru

They sent out the RFP this week to 8 EIGHT! vendors. We won’t know for sure until December or so but everyone told us not to worry. If worse comes to worse my crew “changes shirts” again meaning keep the same job but for a different contractor. We’ve changed shirts 4 times in the last 17 years.

...

I think we’ve run out of good names for new breweries. A place in the Chicago area is opening under the name “Open Outcry Brewing” which is probably the worst brewery name I’ve ever heard by a mile.

King Hippo

“Touchy Uncle Libations”

...

Seriously, what a fucking terrible name.

blaxabbath

I know our area has a “That Brewery”.

Seriously, we’re about 18 months from Kroger Brand Microbrew IPA.

...

Wal-Mart already has private label “craft.” I suspect it’s made in the same vats as Sam Adams.

blaxabbath

Sam Adams is shit. On that note, you know what? I’m surprised Trump is actually from NYC and not Boston considering ‘Beantown’ is the only place that is somehow celebrated for anything it does — Sam Adams, white trash, Red Sox fans, P*triots — when, objectively, they’re putrid and undeserving of even an iota of praise.

...

I think the last time I had a Sam Adams was at a hotel several years ago that had literally nothing else except standard domestics.

Senor Weaselo

Drink This Swill Brewing Company?

...

“Cliche IPA” would actually be a good beer name that is just trying to be a bad name.

King Hippo

DFO’s post of the season should win a Cutler Dolphin jersey of their choice. With or without cat phermones.

Beerguyrob

Or a CFL Kaepernick jersey.

herodotus450

A Jets Favre jersey with a ” after the 4?

Mr. Ayo

Trent Green Chiefs jersey with Potato for the number?

King Hippo

oooooohhhhhh! WINNER

Croooow

Does the Cutler jersey include a pack of smokes?

King Hippo

cloves

Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook

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Beerguyrob

Seriously, how many Jets previews are we gonna get?

Brick Meathook

That’s no jet that’s 18 pistons, my friend.

Wright R-3350 Duplex Cyclone on run-up, full rich mixture

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Jets this year will only be a prop plane. Most like a poor running crop duster.

Doktor Zymm

Everyone ready to stare into the nuclear furnace on Monday? And ready to hear “Total Eclipse of the Heart” playing everywhere, probably?

King Hippo

wait, misinterpret

herodotus450

Well now I just look like a mule with a spinning wheel.

Unsurprised

I may go down to Salem, which will be 100% blocked. Here it’ll be like 99%, though, but I have other reasons to go to Salem. The problem is that they’re expecting half of California to show up. But I don’t even have glasses.

...

It helps that I know people I can stay with in the band of totality so I don’t have to deal with all the hotels and crowds.

Unsurprised

I don’t even know people I could stay with in Salem and I lived there for 3 years. It’s only 45 minutes away if the traffic is okay (the traffic won’t be okay).

...

i’m actually staying an extra day to avoid dealing with all of the people fleeing back to wherever.

The only good thing is that all the people in Chicago are headed downstate or to St. Louis so I should miss those crowds.

Unsurprised

Wait. Where are you going?

King Hippo

see below

/also, FUCK eclipses

herodotus450

(even though this appears to be a myspace-hosted image)
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Beerguyrob

I feel like Nashville would be a good time during totality.

...

From what I’ve heard, it’s already insane.

Unsurprised

I have to share this again.

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Unsurprised

She’s Russian. NSFW gallery

blaxabbath

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Unsurprised

Krokodil is a Hell of a drug.

Doktor Zymm

“Teasing a police animal” is a misdemeanor in chicago

King Hippo

Is it an affirmative defense that you were just propositioning it FOAR sex??

blaxabbath

#payitforward

Unsurprised

Heh

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Doktor Zymm

What part of the country do you think Rick and Morty live in? I’m going with far west suburbs of DC, Virginia side

Unsurprised

Reddit says they live in California. Whatever that’s worth.

herodotus450

Speaking of facebook…
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King Hippo

Jerry couldn’t have survived as long as he did in NoVa

Unsurprised

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King Hippo

Thank God we have MOAR FOOTY in 25 minutes!

Unsurprised
King Hippo

a favourite. my boobs are oft sweaty too!

Unsurprised

Same here. Though mine aren’t nearly as pretty as hers.

Unsurprised

You know you wanted it.

Unsurprised

Big Ben no care.

Unsurprised

Final two gifs from last night. All Quotables (https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/all_quotables)

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blaxabbath

#wouldanal

Doktor Zymm

Woo, just got my flights/hotel for my interview next week with Facebook. Gotta spend this weekend studying stuff, but worth it.

Sharkbait

Good luck!

Doktor Zymm

Thanks!

herodotus450

Be sure to taunt the Zuck by implying that you got Ian McKellan to officiate your wedding

Doktor Zymm

I mean, the real Gandalf probably does weddings, right?

herodotus450

Maybe if he had officiated Elendil’s wedding Isildur wouldn’t have been such a little bitch and destroyed the ring when he got it instead of… oh er, I mean, I’m sure he’ll be available for whoever tom brady marries next.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Zuckerberg: And what exactly is this again?
Doktor Zymm: Zat ist meine Fazebook Universal Common Knowledge platform.
Zuckerberg: Yeah. Hmm. Um…

Doktor Zymm

Hooray for acronyms!

Unsurprised

Yay!

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ballsofsteelandfury

People crushed by law, have no hopes but afros

FTFY

Sharkbait

Dear tennis:

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Doktor Zymm

Peace between sets?

herodotus450

The use of ball boys is slavery, but just with more steps

Doktor Zymm

I suspect the inspiration for that episode was ‘Zen and the art of motorcycle maintainance’

herodotus450

Never read that one since it never inspired a Weird Al song

herodotus450

Shit I thought it was a Tom Wolfe book; oh well

Beerguyrob

Not sure where the Penn State joke is here, but I know it exists…

Redshirt

There is something wrong with seeing Jay Cutler in a Miami Dolphins uniform playing QB.

There is also something wrong with seeing Jay Cutler playing QB, but I’m grown accustomed to it.

Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

CAUSE I WAS JEKYLL JEKYLL HYDE JEKYLL HYDE HYDE JEKYLL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiB4dMwDFtg

/Hey, it takes me away from the Yanks managing to squander as many opportunities with men on base as possible

Brick Meathook

Now that’s hot
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Unsurprised
King Hippo

pretty sure I’d be shot on sight at any beach she might favour

Redshirt

So is Fantasy Football worth trying out? I think I’m the only person in America who hasn’t tried it.

King Hippo

it’s like hard drugs, but free

ballsofsteelandfury

The first one is always free…

Unsurprised

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King Hippo

I am also a cat person, pretty lady!

Unsurprised
King Hippo

Reading is indeed the fucking tits, dude. HUZZAH. Tis about all my liquefacted brain can still do, intellectually.

Redshirt

Good grief, tWBS. Those pictures were like a secret test of character. If you made it through without being sidetracked to…another type of website, you’ve earned the right the comment tonight. Either that or you’re a gay man or a straight female.

Unsurprised

Or seen too much porn.

Sharkbait

There’s such a thing as too much?

Unsurprised

Supposedly.

Redshirt

Same here. Girls see me as a non-male and I can’t pull of being gay. I don’t have the fashion sense or the class.

King Hippo

women friends of mine have always been like “I wish my boyfriend were more like you just dear heavenly God not you!!”

...

Britt McHenry wants to do political media, but I think she has more potential berating strangers in YouTube videos.

Don T

That’s JORGE Santayana. A prof. I had told us the story how he became”George”. I attended that lecture. FIN.

“with any man who asked.” ??

Unsurprised

That it’s the anglicized version of Jorge?

Unsurprised

Does Kendra Sunderland count as a library girl? GO BEAVERS!

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People crushed by law, have no hopes but from power. If laws are their enemies, they will be enemies to laws; and those who have much to hope and nothing to lose, will always be dangerous.

-Edmund Burke, October 1777

Every lawyer should commit this to memory. Too many lawyers (not you assholes, those other assholes) don’t seem to care that we’re helping to erode the Rule of Law and eventually the Nazis are coming for us.

Col. Duke LaCross

She tried to make Medicated Pete’s dreams come true!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

She’s still got it

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Unsurprised
Sharkbait

These are fantastic.

Unsurprised

Thanks. I might make one more Blake Bortles one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Is that Lisa Loeb?

Whoa. Google says RETREAT!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

14 years old!?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Didn’t realize, she was on a tumblr. Banhammer if you fucking want.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I didn’t think you did know, was just shocked to learn as (Un) surprised did.

And I don’t have the authority or inclination to banhammer anyone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, just pissed off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

TWBS is doing more for reading in this article than any library PSA in the history of ever.

litre_cola

Sweet mother of pearl. If Mrs. Litre doesn’t want to go tonight, I have all I need here.

TWBS for NFL Commish!

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