NFL News:
- The pressure must have gotten to John Fox – it’s Truth Biscuit time in Chicago!
- His first game will be next Monday night versus the Vikings.
- With the Falcons bye week approaching, it appears Julio Jones – owner & wearer of the high flyin’ cleats in the banner photo – will not miss any time due to injury.
- He hurt a hip flexor in the loss to Buffalo.
- Based on stats through the first four games, Tom Brady is on track to be sacked 52 times this year.
- To date, he’s been dropped 13 times. He was sacked for loss 15 times in all of the 2016 regular season.
- The Seahawks got beat-the-hell-up last night in their victory over the Colts:
- Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
- HOW THE FUCK DID HE FINISH THE GAME?!
- RB Chris Carson: Broken leg, below the knee
- Done for the season
- DE Cliff Avril: Pinched nerve; day-to-day
- He lost feeling in his fingertips after an accidental kick to the head.
- CB Jeremy Lane: Strained groin.
- Day-to-day
- Left tackle Rees Odhiambo: Bruised heart.
- As expected, Eagles fans took over the StubHub Center and turned an away game into home-field advantage. This Deadspin link has full audio of the debacle Eagles OT Jason Peters said “was like a home game”.
We wish you were here, but it sounds like most of you were. #FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/TeQaaAH5qM
— Philadelphia Eagles (@Eagles) October 1, 2017
Finally, unrelated to football, it’s been a bad day for music fans. The 58 people killed at the Jason Aldean show in Las Vegas by a domestic terrorist, and news that Tom Petty is on life-support dead, have made for a very sad Monday.
I saw Tom Petty live once. It was the “True Confessions” tour with Bob Dylan in 1986.
It was pretty good. Each played 45 minutes on their own, and then combined for the final 30 minutes of the show. I owned that shirt for years; it eventually wore out.
Game Preview: Chiefs at [*Redacted] s
Tonight, two of the sports world’s finest ethnic slurs face off in Washington as the Kansas City Chiefs, owned by non-affiliated Christian & white male Clark Hunt, take on a Washington team owned by Jewish businessman & white male Dan Snyder.
Hunt, who lettered in soccer at Southern Methodist University in 1987, and therefore did not have any hand in the alleged murder of five hookers while Craig James definitely attended SMU between 1979-82, majored in business, worked at Goldman Sachs and was named head of Hunt Sports Group LLC when his father Lamar died. He shares ownership with his three siblings. He was influential in getting his father to back the creation of Major League Soccer, something that validated the league in its early days of operation.
Dan Snyder, a petty little man who has a tendency to sue any organization that writes untruthful things, is a businessman notorious for attempting to squeeze every penny out of the organizations he owns or belongs to as well as monetizing the fan base. I refer you to Dave McKenna’s piece from the Washington City Paper for more details. Snyder attempted to sue the paper & author for defamation, but the suit was withdrawn in the face of a SLAPP motion by the defendants. Currently surrounded by yes-men, he presides over a team that hasn’t done anything meaningful in the NFL since Joe Gibbs first discovered car racing.
The game itself should be a spirited affair, as Kansas City are the only remaining unbeaten team and Washington wants to keep pace with the Eagles & stay one game ahead of the Cowboys. Alex Smith is doing a commendable job holding back the tide wanting high draft pick Patrick Mahomes to come in & take the reins. Now that they have settled on a pronunciation, Washington is enjoying another Kirk Cousins franchise-tag year, as their recent devastation of the Raiders proved. They both have solid receiving corps, and while Washington has the advantage in the safety/corner department, they won’t be able to do much without being able to stop KC’s Kareem Hunt, who is the prime reason Alex Smith looks as good as he does.
It’s either going to be a 42-38 barnburner or a 7-6 slog. Gun to my head, I’d take the Chiefs.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en español en ESPN2
- Washington at Kansas City – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- WWE
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Baseball playoffs start tomorrow with the AL play-in game, followed by the NL game & NHL home openers Wednesday. WE’RE GOOD UNTIL FEBRUARY!
OK…THAT was impressive.
I love how everyone keeps stumbling on LA Chargers.
Well, you can’t call them the Shitty Football Clippers on network tv.
You can on Comedy Network…ppl forget that.
The SanLA Chargers
It really should be Le Chargers
Raiders rumoUred to be looking at Kaep?
Really? I’d be happy to have him but seems expensive to have around just for a few weeks.
Carr could be out 2-6 weeks. Quite a big window.
Back injuries linger
Don’t I know it.
same here with neck (it’s all c-spine, eh?)
Checking him out; look at those gams, they also winked suggestively.
Don’t forget that epic ‘fro.
Prediction: [*Redacted] s will turn it over and give up a touchdown and go into the locker room down 14-10, because of course every team playing against the Chiefs does stupid shit like that.
They DO have some special teams issues, making this distinctly possible
kelce scored? How long is the taunting/unsportsmanlike penalty to be applied on the kickoff?
he gave the Washington defender an Indian Burn. No Flag.
Let’s go First Nations!
If you don’t know the tribe name then it’s better saying that than native americans.
Kansas City should be the Arrowheads.
*Googles* Anacostians?
I’ll bet Andy Reid’s playbook comes with a wine list.
Gravy list.
It’s important to pair the white and brown correctly.
That guy on reddit agrees.
“This guy gets it!!!”
-D. Trump
– Thomas Jefferson
I bet it comes with a bib.
A stained bib
Both the list and playbook are actually edible.
Just mix them all together in a bucket
That pretty much fucks me in FF this week.
Well, that TD and my own shitty managing.
Yay
Andy Reid is going to get a funnel cake at halftime.
“a”?
Andy Reid was disappointed to learn funnel cake didn’t mean someone shoved a whole cake down a funnel into your mouth
Yeah. At halftime.
I can’t help but not notice that cunt wasn’t KHunt
YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH.
I keep forgetting that football starts an hour earlier here.
MOUNTAIN time rocks!
I fucking love it but I’m definitely not fully adjusted yet.
Donks WOO amirite??
FUCK YEAH
We’re gonna try to go to a game soon.
Best Coast. After years of Central, give me Best Coast time anytime.
So someone at work was selling a pair of Bears tickets for the Monday night game next week. Usually tickets go within an hour or so, but these sat available for five days. The guy put out a plea today referring to the debut of “future Hall of Famer and multiple Super Bowl winner Mitchell David Trubisky” as the selling point. I rolled my eyes but it worked on someone.
It does not help that it’s very likely the Cubs will be playing at Wrigley at the same time as that game but the tickets didn’t go before anyone even knew this so… Bear Down or some shit.
Welp, that clinches it. Definitely taking Minnesota next week in the eliminator.
Same, wild card game is kinda bullshit.
Was he asking more than $20? That might be the problem
They were 16 or so rows back from the field in an end zone corner. Good seats but not worth $300 for the pair especially not considering what else will be going on that night.
Do these tickets come with a day off Tuesday? Otherwise, what’s the point?
This game has been kind of a snoozer, I would much rather watch Deuce Gruden powerlift Reid.
Just throw the ball to Hunt and hand-off to him, that’s all i ask.
“…and the Chiefs are lucky that ball was not turned over…”
I swear to God I hear this 40 times during every goddamned Chiefs game.
I see my prediction skills remain positively Glennon esque
Overall garbage, but, still manage to beat the Stillers each time?
Stop throwing to Tyreek Hill….but still win the game.
No, keep throwing to Tyreek Hill.
OR, throw to whoever you want, and lose the game!
I also have Thompson so I can live with that as long as he gets lots of yards.
How are you watching the game? I thought you were in Botswana.
I’m not really, i’m just occasionally refreshing the nfl game center page
Based on that drop, it shouldn’t shock you that Pryor used to play for the Raiders.
With the name Pryor, it was pretty much pre-ordained.
At least he took a crack at it.
Where!? -Marion Berry
Bitch set him up!
Folks
Howdy tex.
Hiyaz.
I should repost that reddit thing where the guy complains about women having their anus too close to their vagina.
Taint it the truth?
wait what?
What’s the “logic”?
He’s been with MANY WOMEN, and feels they should be ashamed of this flaw
Herr Charlemango is on Reddit as well as Twitter?
I read that, made zero sense to me.
Christ. That fucking guy.
He’s just made because he has the anatomy of a Ken doll.
If those two orifices were farther apart, there would not be such a thing as a Shocker.
It’s all one big slit, can confirm. Of course, I realized too late that I was actually rubbing my dick on a venus fly trap. So maybe cannot confirm.
About to go two fingers into some 18 year old Scotch.
Hope her Da nae minds.
Just keep your middle and ring finger safely curled away.
That’s what I said to my buddy Before I propositioned ladies for sex when I went on Vacation in Scotland a few years back.
*sighs wistfully*
-Jason Pierre-Paul
Oh that is sublime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5ba1OKY7Xc
Someone mentioned the dumbest in the NFL?
The Dame is currently en route from Red Lobster with a bagful of cheddar biscuits just for me.
I married well, better that she did.
Are the Redacteds actually good? I’m confused at what I’m seeing.
It’s a mirage. I’M TELLIN ALL Y’ALL IT’S SABOTAGE.
I’d buy feminine hygiene products if they used this song as their theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE
See what I mean?
Still the best damned video evah on MTV.
Hippo gon tell you bout RAMMITT too bulleee dat,
They will have a glorious fade. Book it.
You think they’re all going to go get haircuts together on their bye week?
NFC Title Game – Redacteds at RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Kobe should be cutting ads, we know he likes to RRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!
BOO THIS MAN!
Just ride it out….
There’s a lizard on my balcony!
That’s a strange euphemism…
Them’s good eatin’
stop bragging about your sex life!
HOT TAEK!!!
Japanese YUM YUM sauce has a very accurate name.
It’s unnerving that it’s white, though.
“Is it, though?”
– Aaron Rodgers
I hear that a lot in reference to my penis.
– I’ve never heard that in reference to my penis.
Tonight I dine on 15 Filet Mignons dipped in Tostitos queso sauce.
– Andy Reid
And that’s just his appetizer course.
Travis Kelce may be the dumbest guy in the NFL.
Now THAT is a reality show competition I would watch
It would never, ever end.
First challenge: get blood stains out of a white suit
Second challenge: Drive through a gated neighborhood without getting arrested or shot
You guys know…
that Pacman Jones still has an active roster spot right?
I’m counting on there being a distinction made between ‘dumb’ and ‘sociopathic’; the Bengals have the latter locked up.
I Beg Indifference
– Emmitt Smiff
HISTORIC PUNCHLINE OF THE DAY:
“Boy, is Vaughn Meader fucked.”
THIS HAS BEEN YOUR HISTORIC PUNCHLINE OF THE DAY
Tangential: “Aside from that, how did you like the parade, Mrs. Kennedy?”
The Chiefs are the Ambien of the NFL…
KHunt to the left, KHunt to the right! I needs all the KHunt I can get and then some.
I just….I got nothing. Laughing too hard.
Sounds like Rothlisberger in a dive bar during Spring Break.
HARF! The Ben just look in the potty.
Does anyone want to talk Catalonia Independence referendum?
Seems like a real shit show over there. When did Spain get so authoritarian?
Since the Basques.
kaixo!
11th century or so
Franco
Hmmm… Google “Franco”
yeah but I thought they got rid of him and became, like, NORMAL and shit
/I dunno much about Spain
Well, they did put a king in charge when Franco died. Felipe IV is the current monarch. Kings don’t like internal strife.
That King iss about as involved in the government as Queen Elizabeth, so…
Yeah, probably spends most of his time in Monte Carlo or Ibiza or someplace like that.
smh they shuld stick to making salad dressing
Have the votes come in yet?
Supposedly 90% Yes. Which… yeah, probably not real.
Evening all,
I’m almost not in the mood to do this tonight, I’m beginning to lose faith in society as a whole.
Didn’t mean to beat a dead horse, but fuck me…
Things a really weird prostitute says for $200, Alex.
I’m pretty sure you could get a prostitute to say that for less than $200
You’re supposed to pay them?
-C. James, SMU
DONT TELL ME I CANT BEAT HORSES! MAH FREEDOMMMMM!
They were asking for it. DID YOU SEE HOW THAT MARE WAS DRESSED!?
Can you keep your John Elway/Sarah Jessica Parker fanfic to yourself?
It is why we come here. Escapism.
Speak for yourself. I am here for the assplay.
I thought that went without saying, kind of like our safe word.
Just now?
I see enough of the good to maintain what little hope there is left, then this shit happens. I refuse to give up on the good of so many because of the horror created by so few.
ppl can be ok in small groups (or better yet, IMAGINARY flocks) but societal groupings, forget about it.
I think it’s because we have forgotten how to reason with one another, maybe? Or just that the universe moves towards disorder/entropy and time is just running out on the human experiment.
The fact that you’ve kept the faith this long really shows either great mental fortitude or extreme naivety.
Look at it this way…it’s a good thing society ain’t got long left.
So Lavar Ball is homeschooling his youngest son? That will work out well for sure in his mental development.
Calc I: Sponsored by BBB
He’s likely to kill about 50 people before he can go have his hyped 4 months at UCLA. 5 hours a day of ego training, 2 hours of dribbling, and an hour of Republican Jeebus, I guess.
I’m sure he’ll get tired of it pretty quick and turn those duties over to his dad, so all is well.
Now we’re talking.
There’s 12 left in the suicide pool and Hippo took the chiefs, so we could be down to 11.
survivor pool is an awfully long way to spell tontine
A 19 yard FG, do I see that right? How many yards inside the endzone did they have to snap it from to get a 19 yard FG?
I think it would be from like the 2?
Interesting to see the same people get mad at kneeling because it’s disrespectful to the trools, are ignoring troops about their taeks on automatic weapons in the hands of civilians.
STICK TO INVADING FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND KILLING THEIR CIVILIANS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZlDZPYzfm4
Trools, I like that. That’s what we should call all mentally deficient right wing wannabe military types.
They also ignored all the troops who supported the anthem protests, so it’s pretty obvious that ‘respecting’ the troops doesn’t involve listening to or caring about their opinions
Man, I want one of those rocket packs.
Ok, imma take the 11 am shuttle so I can pretend I’m watching football for another couple hours. The hottest part of the day is clearly the best time to go hiking uphill in the sun anyway
Where in Bali are you? Ubud is awesome.
That is where in Bali I am. plan for today is the campuhan ridge walk.
Go to the Dirty Duck diner for dinner, order the smoked duck 24 hours before. It is so worth it.
Well, not to the duck.
‘Smoked suck? Sounds like something tWBS would really enjoy.”
-me, actually
Fuck this. Later.
Is anyone still alive in the Survivor Pool or will a Washington win knock out the last people.
Also, is this like the Spelling Bee where if everyone loses in a round, then no one is eliminated?
(dumb Redshirt trusted the Falcons)
my $$ League entry is alive:
LAR, OAK, NE, GB
“Is anyone still alive in the Survivor Pool?”
– My Grandfather, holocaust survivor
this is at least as good as your Mohel joke
So it’s a nosh below average?
I am alive in Yeahrights
So based on what I see here and occasional glimpses of nfl.com, was last Sunday nawt a fluke and is DC actually looking damn good? Should I start getting super excited about losing a playoff game yet?
Doc arent you moving soon?
Yep, but I haven’t lived in the DC area for 9 years anyway. I keep my fandom as a link to my roots sort of thing.
I moved to Michigan from the Philly area. It’s basically like there isn’t a pro football team here.
Book passage FOAR the NFC Title Game in Tinseltown!!
Oh, yes. Its a great way to spend a 2nd weekend of January watching a football game while trying to make your team’s heads explode with mind powers your trying to evolve on the fly.
I just noticed that they have this guy stand there, holding up the review tablet inside what looks like a cardboard box frame, with a ribbon handle on it. That’s… that’s a job there.
I wonder what you make an hour…
Assuming its got better benefits than the fucking players.
People do all sorts of useless crap on the sideline. I’m convinced some of them are just there to occasionally get run into when they’re short of highlights
Mrs Cola told me yesterday that this is the job she aspires for. Thinks her 100k in student loans would be worth it if she was tablet girl.
Would she dress like the ring girls in boxing and MMA?
/asking for the membership