Because Scotchnaut got shamed today while buying beer at the pet store, and thus is now drowning his sorrows with Modelo and single malt, you’re stuck with me tonight.
If you didn’t do the required reading earlier today, you won’t get those references. And thus you should feel as much shame as him. Even more, actually. At least he was trying.
Though he didn’t buy me a puppy so I’m kinda still not happy with him.
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My Fantasy Football Season Is Over
And good riddance.
At the time of this writing, I’m not technically eliminated from the playoffs. But it would take a minor … errrrrr yuuuuuuge miracle for me to recover today. Thus, unlike a certain Alabamian sex offender we all know and love, I’ve already extended my concession to BeastmodeAteMyBaby. Dude kicked my ass but good to finish off my unremarkable late season slide.
Karma’s a bitch.
I’ll remember that the next time I think about giving someone shit, even as good-natured/humorous as it was intended. Sincere apologies to Covalent Blonde on that one, and congrats to her for then also kicking my ass and starting my late season slide into oblivion/also-ran status.
King Hippo also kicked my ass during that slide, but I expected that one. And he can just suck it anyway.
No, seriously Vlad. Dude’s enjoying my first round bye and winning dough like he gotz a horseshoe up he arse.
(though at the moment, my Yinzer moneyline bet is still looking OK)
((never mind…P*ts FG ties it up…. Jerks))
On the bright side, at least I don’t have to root for Tawmmy to get me the FF win today. And that’s priceless.
Break a leg, Tawmmy….literally.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX4Jlm75CdM
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So Who We Got Tonight?
Oh. Crap. Really?
Dallas @ Oakland (+3.0, o/u 46.0)
The Fighten’ JJ’s are still without Zeke for one more week (hey that rhymed). Yet they’ve found a way to limp to a coupla wins lately and keep hope alive. Dak Dak Dak seems to not be ded anymore…20/32, 332 yds, 3 TD, 0 int last week. Then again it was vs the Gigantes. But if they can find a way to get out of the bay area with a win tonight, anything is possible once Zeke hits the field next week.
The Fighten’ Al Davises (Davis’ ?, Davis’s ?) on the other hand, have hit upon hard times and have little reason to expect that to change. Amari Cooper is out for tonight, which is probably being seen as good news for Crabtree and Cook owners. But it probably shouldn’t be. Marshawn Lynch is due to disappear again, and neither Richard nor Washington have shown the ability to carry enough of the load when he does. Trust me, I’ve owned all three of them this year. Much to my chagrin.
If the Raiders protect home field and win tonight….? It probably won’t matter, considering they have to travel to Philly and NawtSD to close things out.
If the ‘Boys get the road win tonight….? It could springboard them into the postseason. Because beginning next week, they’ll be a different team with Zeke in tow when they host Seattle and then close out in Philly.
Sooooo….who wants it less?
Prediction: Cowboys 27, Raiders 17
And no, I’m not betting on this game. No way in hell.
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Checking In On My Last Bet Of The Day
Oooooh, TD Yinzburgh!!!!
Dammit, Antonio Brown out for the rest of the game….of course, this week.
smgdh
Oh well….
OK then, go talk about it in the comments as usual.
You can even feel free to make fun of me. It seems a popular thing to do around here lately. And it makes me feel very loved.
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Last Minute Addendum Befoar Scheduled Publishing Time
As always, fuck the P*ts and fuck Tawmmy.
–
It’s a good thing penalties aren’t cumulative cause the Raiders would be snapping from under the goalposts by now.
I posted this BEFORE the false start.
In light of Jerry Richardson selling the Panthers, ESPN reports that the Panthers owner has asked Roger Goodell how long it must be before he grants his players their freedom.
Shit. I want to own the Panthers.
So I’m certain that Richardson’s putting the team up for sale has nothing to do with the recently-announced investigation into various shenanigans. Nothing at all.
all right. end this game early Cowboys.
Shut. the. fuck. up. Cris.
“In a sworn deposition this week, O.J. Simpson claimed that he never beat, choked, or hit his ex-wife with a closed or open fist. Luckily for O.J., lawyers forgot to ask if he had ever cut her head off.”
Semantics man!
I’m promising myself I’m not gonna get mad about anything that happens in this game. But that’s hard to do when the Raiders have 2nd and short on their first two drives and yet managed to get out of the first quarter without gaining a single first down.
Cowboys/Raiders? How many STDs can you fit in one building?
Zymm, don’t answer that.
How many different strains or just total cases?
Thanks man.
Yours are pretty too.
Thanks, too bad their neighbor upstairs is such a dick.
Dawwwww, you make me blush.
the Raiders don’t seem very good
From Abortion to AIDS to Unemployment: The Gratliff Story
So…about that porn usage. Does that mean not enough?
Not where I’m standing!
The Dakotas are an interesting combo.
I would like to move to NM, stat
Rhode Island foar me.
Then a quick shot up to Alaska.
Ooooh, poor choice of words.
I still would, but would likely need rappelling gear.
The Montana-Wyoming connection works nicely.
CT being worst at breast cancer means we get the most of it or the least of it? I need clarification on this.
THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH WASHINGTON!?
Asking foar a friend?
Hehehehehe
Worst, or most skilled at? We are professionals. I retired based on my success making advancements in(to) the field!
I can only imagine the volume of bodily essence forcefully excreted by Collinsworth at the end of the P*ts game.
So Dallas can haz run game?
Wait, Elliot still isn’t back? Then why the fuck is this a sunday nigth game and why the fuck am I watching it?
NBC wasn’t allowed to take P*ts/stills.
LAR/SEA should have been available
Siri, please find coverage of women’s Olympic curling qualifications please k’ thanks.
up $500 for the weekend, glad I only bet $100 on OAK to finish under 21.5
Please don’t take this the wrong way, because you know I love you and all….
But fuck you.
Dammit
DAK DAK DAKERCEPTION
DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK!
She can’t wear that fishing!
Scandrick is out. Fuck all that is me.
I don’t think it’s going to matter.
Sax player from the Bojack theme died:
http://amp.timeinc.net/nme/news/music/ralph-carney-bojack-horseman-saxophonist-dies-aged-61-2177086?source=dam
fittingly, that’s depressing
Aw goddamnit! As a saxophonist myself, I always liked Ralph Carney’s work.
hey there! anyone got some $$$$$?
http://www.panthers.com/news/article-2/Jerry-Richardson-will-put-Carolina-Panthers-up-for-sale/b4b0e583-fe21-4935-9a3a-242005729697
Just saw the “highlights” of the NE/PIT. Soo glad I didn’t watch that game, or I’d be needing a new TeeVee…and maybe computer.
Possibly dog…cat even.
we have fun here at DFO, rite?
We were at the brewery and Rikki called it to a fucking T. This shit IS rigged for New England.
Will we get a view of the fights in the stands tonight?
My next three hours are all going to be spent in that post-orgasm glow. Still so blown away. The Patriots, man.
This man? He is to be boo’d, forthwith.
HAHAHA
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2017/12/17/could-browns-trade-hue-jackson-to-bengals/
?resize=705%2C506&ssl=1
“Doreen. DOREEN! Git in here! See those two lovely wimmen there? Git them on the Ol’Dubble J Sexpress, PRONTO! YEEEeeeeeHHHHHAAAaawwww, I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!!1!eleven!!”
What did Jeremy Clarkson do now?
Looks like the result of most of my attempts at the SambaBus race in GT5.
Headed to the shop to get that buffed out?
So Low Commander, Covalent Blonde, Rikki Tikki Deadly and yeah right walk into a bar…
You’d think one of them would have seen it first
Nice.
Look, if you wanna write HRTN…
Incredible folks and a beautiful Southern California day.
I can keep doing this shit.
Please tell me it’s still possible for Kansas City to play at Pittsburgh in the playoffs
if the P*ts lost again, sure
Fine I’ll just spoil it: a joke about renaming it Khunt’s Field.
Aw, those little kids running around at Heinz Field in the background.
Hey is that a Caltar 210mm Series-S convertible in a #3 Acme Synchro shutter? Yes. Yes it is.
One of these squares is really pissing me off…
Top left corner? Or the one right below it (for the McCarron debacle)?
The “Browns win 4th game”…
Combined with Josh Gordon actually getting reinstated, that whole left column is fucked.
When they make a movie out of that Pats-Steelers game they’re going to call it The Overturning of Jesse James by the Coward Tony Corrente
At the risk of endangering my earlier banner nomination, this is really fucking good.
Even more shocking is the fact that Casey Affleck was a thing in 2007
Trump could use his “billions” of dollars and buy the Panthers and leave the Office.
Mythbusters got kinda stupid towards the end there.
The reboot is worse.
and with all that it was still better than 9/10ths of the television available.
Richardson is going to sell the Panthers. Let’s pass the hat and see if DFO can buy the team.
I’m in for $12!
$120 if I don’t have to live in Charlotte
Seems like a poor decision to list “Good breeding stock” on the sale announcement.
I say we offer him 3/5 of the asking price.
/OK, I think now we have to put “obligatory” after these
All I need is for Dez and Marshawn to combine for 75 points and I’m in the clear!
/chugs moonshine
My brother, the Steelers fan, has materialized at my house.
He has opinions.
Do any of them involve legally justifiable reasons to be in a bathroom stall with a woman you meet at a bar?
Steelers fan. Not a fan of Big Ben. I have heard several variations about how “goddamn fucking dumb that Cro-Magnon looking motherfucker is; who the fuck throws a goddamn ball into 6-on-fucking-1 coverage and expects that to work out Jesus Fucking Christ!!!! Got any beer?”
And so on and so forth.
So he’s cool with vacating all of Ben’s wins as a Steeler?
And GHB?
Watching these afternoon games was like being in church.
I meant to tell you btw, I spread that Toys R Us link around FB and it’s making the rounds among friends of friends of friends as we speak.
Good stuff.
Thanks man. It’s a worthy cause.
Linked for those who want the challenge of not letting tWBS being the better man:
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2017/12/16/for-these-holidays-get-toys-to-needy-kids-in-pr/
Yeah well, not the highest bar there, pal.
Go Cowboys. Win one for Zeke.
We a need a recap of the last 3 minutes of Pats/Steelers, matching the timestamped post with what happened live. It was a roller coaster of emotions.
I was rooting for meteor strike myself.
I am here for the Downfall of Dak
is that the RR Martin novel or Skyrim expansion?