Your “It’s Just A Fantasy” SNF Open Thread

Because Scotchnaut  got shamed today while buying beer at the pet store, and thus is now drowning his sorrows with Modelo and single malt, you’re stuck with me tonight.

If you didn’t do the required reading earlier today, you won’t get those references.  And thus you should feel as much shame as him.  Even more, actually.  At least he was trying.

Though he didn’t buy me a puppy so I’m kinda still not happy with him.

My Fantasy Football Season Is Over

And good riddance.

At the time of this writing, I’m not technically eliminated from the playoffs.  But it would take a minor …  errrrrr yuuuuuuge miracle for me to recover today.  Thus, unlike a certain Alabamian sex offender we all know and love, I’ve already extended my concession to BeastmodeAteMyBaby.  Dude kicked my ass but good to finish off my unremarkable late season slide.

Karma’s a bitch.

I’ll remember that the next time I think about giving someone shit, even as good-natured/humorous as it was intended.  Sincere apologies to Covalent Blonde  on that one, and congrats to her for then also  kicking my ass and starting my late season slide into oblivion/also-ran status.

King Hippo  also kicked my ass during that slide, but I expected that one.  And he can just suck it anyway.

No, seriously Vlad.  Dude’s enjoying my first round bye and  winning dough like he gotz a horseshoe up he arse.

(though at the moment, my Yinzer moneyline bet is still looking OK)

((never mind…P*ts FG ties it up…. Jerks))

On the bright side, at least I don’t have to root for Tawmmy to get me the FF win today.  And that’s priceless.

Break a leg, Tawmmy….literally.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX4Jlm75CdM

So Who We Got Tonight?

Oh.  Crap.  Really?

Dallas @ Oakland (+3.0, o/u 46.0)

The Fighten’ JJ’s are still without Zeke for one more week (hey that rhymed).  Yet they’ve found a way to limp to a coupla wins lately and keep hope alive.  Dak Dak Dak seems to not be ded anymore…20/32, 332 yds, 3 TD, 0 int last week.  Then again it was vs the Gigantes.  But if they can find a way to get out of the bay area with a win tonight, anything is possible once Zeke hits the field next week.

The Fighten’ Al Davises (Davis’ ?, Davis’s ?) on the other hand, have hit upon hard times and have little reason to expect that to change.  Amari Cooper is out for tonight, which is probably being seen as good news for Crabtree and Cook owners.  But it probably shouldn’t be.  Marshawn Lynch is due to disappear again, and neither Richard nor Washington have shown the ability to carry enough of the load when he does.  Trust me, I’ve owned all three of them this year.  Much to my chagrin.

If the Raiders protect home field and win tonight….?  It probably won’t matter, considering they have to travel to Philly and NawtSD to close things out.

If the ‘Boys get the road win tonight….?  It could springboard them into the postseason.  Because beginning next week, they’ll be a different team with Zeke in tow when they host Seattle and then close out in Philly.

Sooooo….who wants it less?

Prediction:  Cowboys 27, Raiders 17

And no, I’m not betting on this game.  No way in hell.

Checking In On My Last Bet Of The Day

Oooooh, TD Yinzburgh!!!!

Dammit, Antonio Brown out for the rest of the game….of course, this  week.

smgdh

Oh well….

OK then, go talk about it in the comments as usual.

You can even feel free to make fun of me.  It seems a popular thing to do around here lately.  And it makes me feel very loved.

Last Minute Addendum Befoar Scheduled Publishing Time

As always, fuck the P*ts and fuck Tawmmy.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
Subscribe
Notify of
601 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s a good thing penalties aren’t cumulative cause the Raiders would be snapping from under the goalposts by now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I posted this BEFORE the false start.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

In light of Jerry Richardson selling the Panthers, ESPN reports that the Panthers owner has asked Roger Goodell how long it must be before he grants his players their freedom.

Unsurprised

Shit. I want to own the Panthers.

Don T

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

So I’m certain that Richardson’s putting the team up for sale has nothing to do with the recently-announced investigation into various shenanigans. Nothing at all.

Spur

all right. end this game early Cowboys.

Romonobyl

Shut. the. fuck. up. Cris.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“In a sworn deposition this week, O.J. Simpson claimed that he never beat, choked, or hit his ex-wife with a closed or open fist. Luckily for O.J., lawyers forgot to ask if he had ever cut her head off.”

Romonobyl

Semantics man!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m promising myself I’m not gonna get mad about anything that happens in this game. But that’s hard to do when the Raiders have 2nd and short on their first two drives and yet managed to get out of the first quarter without gaining a single first down.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Cowboys/Raiders? How many STDs can you fit in one building?

Zymm, don’t answer that.

LemonJello

How many different strains or just total cases?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

Thanks, too bad their neighbor upstairs is such a dick.

LemonJello

comment image
Dawwwww, you make me blush.

King Hippo

the Raiders don’t seem very good

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

comment image

Gratliff

From Abortion to AIDS to Unemployment: The Gratliff Story

Romonobyl

So…about that porn usage. Does that mean not enough?

Col. Duke LaCross

Not where I’m standing!

King Hippo

I would like to move to NM, stat

Horatio Cornblower

comment image

Romonobyl

I still would, but would likely need rappelling gear.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Montana-Wyoming connection works nicely.

Horatio Cornblower

CT being worst at breast cancer means we get the most of it or the least of it? I need clarification on this.

Horatio Cornblower

THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH WASHINGTON!?

Shogun Marcus

Worst, or most skilled at? We are professionals. I retired based on my success making advancements in(to) the field!

Romonobyl

I can only imagine the volume of bodily essence forcefully excreted by Collinsworth at the end of the P*ts game.

The Maestro

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

So Dallas can haz run game?

herodotus450

Wait, Elliot still isn’t back? Then why the fuck is this a sunday nigth game and why the fuck am I watching it?

Shogun Marcus

NBC wasn’t allowed to take P*ts/stills.

King Hippo

LAR/SEA should have been available

LemonJello

comment image

Romonobyl

comment image

Romonobyl

Siri, please find coverage of women’s Olympic curling qualifications please k’ thanks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

up $500 for the weekend, glad I only bet $100 on OAK to finish under 21.5

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Spur

Dammit

The Maestro

DAK DAK DAKERCEPTION

King Hippo

DAK DAK DAK DAK DAK!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

She can’t wear that fishing!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

Scandrick is out. Fuck all that is me.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I don’t think it’s going to matter.

King Hippo

fittingly, that’s depressing

The Maestro

Aw goddamnit! As a saxophonist myself, I always liked Ralph Carney’s work.

Romonobyl

Just saw the “highlights” of the NE/PIT. Soo glad I didn’t watch that game, or I’d be needing a new TeeVee…and maybe computer.
Possibly dog…cat even.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog

we have fun here at DFO, rite?

laserguru

We were at the brewery and Rikki called it to a fucking T. This shit IS rigged for New England.

Spur

Will we get a view of the fights in the stands tonight?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

The Maestro

My next three hours are all going to be spent in that post-orgasm glow. Still so blown away. The Patriots, man.

Romonobyl

This man? He is to be boo’d, forthwith.

LemonJello

comment image?resize=705%2C506&ssl=1
“Doreen. DOREEN! Git in here! See those two lovely wimmen there? Git them on the Ol’Dubble J Sexpress, PRONTO! YEEEeeeeeHHHHHAAAaawwww, I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!!1!eleven!!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

The Maestro

What did Jeremy Clarkson do now?

Petronel

Looks like the result of most of my attempts at the SambaBus race in GT5.

LemonJello

Headed to the shop to get that buffed out?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

laserguru

So Low Commander, Covalent Blonde, Rikki Tikki Deadly and yeah right walk into a bar…

Gratliff

You’d think one of them would have seen it first

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Look, if you wanna write HRTN…

laserguru

Incredible folks and a beautiful Southern California day.

I can keep doing this shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

herodotus450

Please tell me it’s still possible for Kansas City to play at Pittsburgh in the playoffs

King Hippo

if the P*ts lost again, sure

herodotus450

Fine I’ll just spoil it: a joke about renaming it Khunt’s Field.

hippofant

Aw, those little kids running around at Heinz Field in the background.

Brick Meathook

Hey is that a Caltar 210mm Series-S convertible in a #3 Acme Synchro shutter? Yes. Yes it is.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

comment image

One of these squares is really pissing me off…

herodotus450

Top left corner? Or the one right below it (for the McCarron debacle)?

JustStopDude

The “Browns win 4th game”…

herodotus450

Combined with Josh Gordon actually getting reinstated, that whole left column is fucked.

herodotus450

When they make a movie out of that Pats-Steelers game they’re going to call it The Overturning of Jesse James by the Coward Tony Corrente

Horatio Cornblower

At the risk of endangering my earlier banner nomination, this is really fucking good.

herodotus450

Even more shocking is the fact that Casey Affleck was a thing in 2007

Spur

Trump could use his “billions” of dollars and buy the Panthers and leave the Office.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

herodotus450

Mythbusters got kinda stupid towards the end there.

Romonobyl

The reboot is worse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and with all that it was still better than 9/10ths of the television available.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Richardson is going to sell the Panthers. Let’s pass the hat and see if DFO can buy the team.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m in for $12!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

$120 if I don’t have to live in Charlotte

Gratliff

Seems like a poor decision to list “Good breeding stock” on the sale announcement.

Horatio Cornblower

I say we offer him 3/5 of the asking price.

/OK, I think now we have to put “obligatory” after these

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

All I need is for Dez and Marshawn to combine for 75 points and I’m in the clear!

/chugs moonshine

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

My brother, the Steelers fan, has materialized at my house.

He has opinions.

Gratliff

Do any of them involve legally justifiable reasons to be in a bathroom stall with a woman you meet at a bar?

Horatio Cornblower

Steelers fan. Not a fan of Big Ben. I have heard several variations about how “goddamn fucking dumb that Cro-Magnon looking motherfucker is; who the fuck throws a goddamn ball into 6-on-fucking-1 coverage and expects that to work out Jesus Fucking Christ!!!! Got any beer?”

And so on and so forth.

herodotus450

So he’s cool with vacating all of Ben’s wins as a Steeler?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And GHB?

Don T

Watching these afternoon games was like being in church.
comment image

Don T

Thanks man. It’s a worthy cause.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Linked for those who want the challenge of not letting tWBS being the better man:

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2017/12/16/for-these-holidays-get-toys-to-needy-kids-in-pr/

Spur

Go Cowboys. Win one for Zeke.

Spur

We a need a recap of the last 3 minutes of Pats/Steelers, matching the timestamped post with what happened live. It was a roller coaster of emotions.

I was rooting for meteor strike myself.

Gratliff

I am here for the Downfall of Dak

Spur

is that the RR Martin novel or Skyrim expansion?

1 2 3 5