And we’re not tilting at windmills, friends-this be the real thing and all. I trust you have a very many intoxicants and mood-enhancers at arm’s length, that you’ve finished tying the children up in the basement, (or crawlspace, either one is fine) handed the wife a few 20’s and said, “you haven’t seen [insert frenemy here] in such a long time-why don’t you invite her out to brunch?” You’re a regular Howard Roark from The Fountainhead, aren’t you? It’s your way or the highway-you’re not gonna watch the games with a bunch of damn collectivists. “It’s too important a day for ‘people'”, you say to yourself. “One must strike out on one’s own. Establish the trail. Go it alone. Stand tall.”
Damn, that was one fine #feverdream, wasn’t it? Just do what you do, barge into the comments as you see fit and make with the funny. TO THE GAMES!
Steelers/Brownies:
Did you stash James Connor at the end of your fantasy bench because you’re a sneaky weasel? Well done. Tire Rod gets the start in Cleveland and talent-wise the cupboard isn’t its usual bare shelf. It might be enough vs. a Bell-less Pitt team.
Bengalis/Colts:
Things are looking up in Indy now that Mr. Luck is back behind center. Starting rb Mack is out however but is he really going to carry the load this year? The backfield just looks very thin to me.
Titans/Fins:
Them Titans are putting together the old “Thunder and Lightning” backfield duo of Derrick Henry and Dion Lewis. Personally, I expect Henry to have a monster season in 2018 after being robbed of carries by the battered shell of DeMarco Murray last year.
Niners/Vikers:
Jimmy G’s short-passing game plan vs. the aggressive Minny D went out the window when rb MacKinnon blew an axle. In steps the very adequate journeyman Alfred Morris and the untested Matt Breida. That’s a step back, for sure.
Texans/Pats:
Last year Houston barely lost 36-33 to a Brady that was looking to go long to Cooks and Gronk. The pressure applied by the Texans d-line made the game close. I’m sure they’ll go back to the well game-planning-wise while the Pats feature a dink and dunk game with Burkhead, Hogan and some undrafted guy from East Boston Tech. Pats win.
Bills/Ravens:
Buffalo, this is Nathan Peterman’s team now. Govern yourselves accordingly.
Jags/Giant:
Much yackety-yakking focuses around the Old Dirty Beckham/J. Ramsey tete-a-tete but I think the key will be te Engram on lb Gipson. Gipson is a fine player but he doesn’t have the speed to keep up with Engram. He’s got that in common with every other lb in the league. Yes, the Giants O appears to be more dynamic (and more importantly) free of the influence of the Coughlin/MacAdoo mindset that resided there for so long. That said, if I see a delayed draw play on a 3rd and long obvious passing down I will murder everything on my street. Grandmothers, toddlers, puppies… I don’t care. EVERYTHING MUST GO!
It’s all yours now.
Has this Fitzpatrick fellow ever stolen a laptop? He looks like he could be the real deal.
*crab legs
So you have to tackle the QB without landing on them now?
Its called the Rodgers Rule.
I’ve looked into it and if you can rip off his arm and beat him to death with it, it’s only a 5 yard penalty.
/#loophole
Have to tickle them until they stop
If Tennessee loses but the lightning kills someone, am I still out of the suicide pool?
Lightning strikes an old running back dies, his fantasy value hits the floor
Well played.
No, then you’re in the homicide pool.
New on CBs, Two and a half Sacks
.
Did Ben just do something?
“Twelve dozen penis’s? I’ll take them!”
-My ex-girlfriend
#ThePauls are level!
NAWT HYDE!
Told you.
Talkin’ bout playoffs.
Hey, I think Buffalo may not be any good.
Hey – CIN still has plenty of games left….
“Wrong. It’s delicious.”
-Andy Reid
Who allowed Tiki in the booth?
Crowd finally recognized him on the sideline?
I’m just gonna say it, I think my Kyle Shannaham Thanksgiving Post last year was perfect.
Link or it didn’t happen
Presented with a heaping spoonful of humility.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2017/11/23/football-is-family/
We are falling over like Neymar
Pro Tip: Boats don’t have brakes.
My dumbass neighbor just learned this the hard way.
/still giggling
I have to assume that noise was deafening!
My giggling, yes.
Still is, in fact.
Dramatic Re-creation?
– Captain Walsh
TBF, that captain was having sex
Hey, you scratched my anchor!
Male boats in the wild can be very aggressive towards their female counterparts.
Did he roll it?
She. And no, just kinda ran it into her dock.
I don’t much care for her though, which is why I think it’s so fucking funny.
.
Link?
For a friend.
If owls played football, facemasks would totally be legal
“You gotta catch that!” Has any commentator ever said, “Nah, you don’t gotta catch that.”?
JR Roenick: slapshot from Ovi…. Prolly
You know when you see the score your gut tells you just beat you in fantasy? The Crabtree TD. I’m done v
Giants MVP so far? the yellow flag.
“This is playing out as I thought it would”
Suck dicks, Kyle! My job is to assume we lose, your job is to torture my soil with hope
Not sure how that contract is gonna look when Jimmy G is nothing more than a puddle in about ten minutes.
If only there were an NFL level QB taken available who already has a 49ers jersey….
If. Only.
halftime
those shoes are tacky, nicole…taaackky
I have no idea who this is.
No reeeealllly.
Shut up. 😛
She needs to start doing legs. Those heels are supposed to give your legs definition, which didn’t work for her.
Does Buffalo suck, or is Flacco elite, or does Buffalo REALLY suck?
Buffalo is tanking the season.
It can be both.
I believe the answer is “Yes” to all of the above.
Eli’s helmet speakers stopped playing XM’s Disney Soundtracks midway through “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” so he had to call timeout and get that fixed.
Oh shit, I just remembered Scorigami exists so I can annoy the fuck out of all of you with it for 17 whole weeks!
Oh, and Alex Collins is benched. For one fumble.
I fumbled once. No wonder I never made it to the NFL.
And Chris Hogan will be the draft pick that sinks me. He’s the invisible man now. Goddamn that team.
Oh are you my opponent in the Maestro Leugueu today?
Up by seven against the Browns at halftime. Feeling good with how the Steelers offense has mastered the minds of Gregggggg Williams and Haley.
THE PATRIOT WAY
Is Gene Steratore calling in from the bottom of a pool?
he had NO in suicide like Mr. Ayo, I guess
THEY LET THAT “catch” STAND
No way was that a catch
“Wet Ball Drills’
hehe
“Drills” is a verb or a noun there?
Asking foar a friend.
Not sure it matters
Fair point.
Hey tWBS, am I wishing you’d started Eric Ebron?
Yes, other tWBS, yes you are.
Evan Engram ded? Him no catch footbaw.
Hell, I’ve run more yards than the Buffalo offense so far today
#SlowTrain
Eggs Roethlisberger : Forcibly fertilized eggs over easy
Man, I forgot how FUNNY football can be!
Browns D think dey good or sumpin’.
Rapey-ception numero tres! In the FIRST HALF!
Okay, so I know a lot of people like Big Ben despite him being a shithead, BUT I have a solution that will appease everyone.
The Steelers get to erect a statue of Ben BUT the statue will be Ben bronzed like a pair of baby shoes. Everybody wins!
HARF!
He’ll be bronzed mid-HARF for full effect.
Los Tits looking like they will disappoint this year
I’m pleased to report that despite taking a shot of garlic-infused malort, I do not reek of it today.
$5 to the next person who admits that they, too, first thought that read “scum slut”
I only got Slim Slut the first time.
Plus, you’ve proved that you’re not a vampire, so it’s a double win!
I’m on such a winning streak my team will only get pantsed by three touchdowns tonight!
I don’t know who that is, but I absolutely want to party with her.
Even God doesn’t want to watch MIA vs TEN
If God had half a brain in his skull, he’d fast-forward that crap instead of delaying it.
If God had half a brain in his skull I’d be out back trying to build an ark.
Little is known about the new The Predator other than, it will suck.
Sandusky! Fogle! Nasser! Those are just a few of the contestants in the exciting new reality tv show THE PREDATOR, coming this fall to SpikeTV!
And who is the new Predator? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
Beckham knows that he needs to go to (Barry) Church if he wants a flag thrown.
What is a catch
What is roughing the passer
What is interference
What is football
Keep chant those koans for three hours and you too will become One with Everything.
NFL teams need to start having trophy games. Giants vs. Jags can have a giant bust of Coughlin’s red face that gets presented to each winner.
This but madder and redder
The golden bedpan for who can shit the bed the most
Did Alfred Morris ever buy a new car?
DON’T YOU BESMIRCH MAZDA!!!!!!!
Do it for America! Go Bucs!
“Vikings defense picking up where they left off.” *Nick Foles throws another TD*
See? Is Hobo Jim we’re still in SF, they’d know how to hold on to the ball/can of beans when everyone is reaching for it in a goal line skirmish.
It hurts. It hurts so much to see what I should have expected this whole time
Nice to see the Giants O-line is in midseason form.
Eli just wants to drink juice boxes and play with his Legos, not get beat up by the Jaguras!