There’s much talk of drinkling and fooding in the early thread so I know that everyone is doing it right proper today. The forty-five minutes I spent on the elliptical (god, I hate that motherfucker) won’t even begin to justify the calories that I’ll be absorbing through the day but we all like to pretend, right? And this tilt-doing the research for the intro it’s remarkable how well coached these teams are, the disparate weapons each squadoo has, the game-planning that’s been done to get here… Everything about these two teams is so impressive. So, as Guga Foods would say, Let’s Do It!
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Chiefs:
-Everywhere you look it’s strength against strength against strength. The Chiefs started the season looking like last season’s Shoot ’em up squad that had to out-score everyone and yes, they have some of those same attributes but now they can actually stop people-namely, outside receivers.
-San Fran’s stifling D plays zone coverage the second-most of all teams. Wanna guess which football tosser had the highest QBR rating against zone coverage? Yeah, that Mahomes kid.
-San Fran has only trailed by more than 7 points just once all season long. But Andy Reid’s record after getting a bye in regular and postseason is a gaudy 23-5.
-In bottling up receivers the Chiefs D has allowed the 3rd-most catches to the tight end position. Kittles has been vewy, vewy qwiet the past two weeks but he may have to be the gamebreaker today if San Fran has to match scores. He’ll most likely be defended off and on by Honey Badger who has been very effective in a ‘roaming’ role this season.
-It certainly seems as though the Niners own the best d-line in the biz and the numbers back them up. When Armstead, Ford, Bosa and Buckner are on the field at the same time they get a pressure rate (just think of a fast-collapsing pocket) of 44%. On third and fourth down that rate rises to a ridiculous 57%.
-So Mahomes under pressure-I wonder how his numbers look when he has to throw in 2.5 seconds or less. [shuffles through notes] Ah, here it is-he’s 218 for 300 on his completions (72%) with 16 TD’s and no intercepts. Jesus Christ.
-I took a look at prop bets and the one that makes me curious is Mahomes running yardage at 24.5 or 30.5, depending where you look. He’s run for 53 in each game, you know there’ll be at least one designed run for him, you know he’ll get flushed out of the pocket a few times and you know he’s going to take off if there’s a long ball play and Hill is covered and the open middle of the field beckons. Am I missing something here?
-Prediction Time: I don’t think this game will get away from the Niners. I do want Reid to get a ring and not be saddled with the ‘couldn’t get it done in the big game’ albatross. I am all for Mahomes getting a Super Bowl under his belt on his way to eclipsing Brady as the best QB of all time over the next 15-18 years. Let’s do 31-28 Chiefs.
How about you? Where’d you put the moneys? Who was the first to bring up politics out of context? Who’s the sloppy drunk in your gang? You didn’t burn the nachos did you? Fill some space down below.
J/k, that’s the Jimmy G I can count on
First flag!
HAIL BLEERGH!
Hail Dark Lord of the Flag
Give Shanahan KC’s offensive roster.
There’s one guy unashamedly clapping every good Niners play in the middle of the airport. Good for him!
Jason Garrett is there!?
#Faithful
Chefs are 2-0 when going down 10+ points in Q1
What are the prop bet odds on Deebo Samuel as MVP?
they’ll give it to Bosa regardless
I mean, it’s only white.
#LunchPale
It was like 300-1
This offense fucks, all right.
Blow. Out.
Likely
Dominant OL, dominant DL
So this is what having a boner must feel like
Awkward, and wishing Mass would end already?
Yeah, been there.
prolly caught Father Flanagan’s eye, tho
You’ll take communion the way I tell you and like it.
I miss you sometimes, tWBS
Honestly not sure how to respond to that.
I feel like also inappropriate when surrounded by strangers and it’s not a key party
Unbearable Hardness of Being
time for Reid to call a timeout
He’s still waiting on his nachos order.
Baby Shanny got sommet to prove, it seems
Kittle is a sleeper cell
Vintage Chefs
These guys could use some fentanyl to calm their nerves
I thought meth was more prevalent in Miami
Sf by 13.
Big if true
“Uh oh” moments often happen around the muff, Joe.
Theres the Racist Chant on cue
NICK BOSA DEEZ NUTS
WE’VE GOT MUFF!
There’s something you don’t hear in San Francisco.
Is troy drunk?
I would be if I had to listen to Joe Buck for four hours.
He’s always whatever you call 8 concussions
CTE is kicking in. He’ll be on the Phil Simms farm, playing with all of the other QBs, within 3 years.
the Tomsulas might be running train tonight
Tomsula spends most of his time riding the rails
Whoopsie-doodle
Good return by Chiefs receiver and UCA president Die-Hardman.
Ideal play here would be Bosa injuring Hill and himself
From your fingers to Xenu’s, uh, ears, I guess, maybe?
Is there a UK Commentor Feed?
Buck trying to jinx mahomes so hard
Already getting a little chippy. This could be fun.
Perreira getting style tips from Roger Stone.
LET”S DO THIS NINERS
It is weird watching the SB this early in the day, but I like it. And here we go.
this was 21 minutes after I expected kickoff. Dickasses.
So what’s everybody drinking at kickoff? I’ve got the Off Color/Miller Eeek!, and I’m switching to Boulevard stuff afterward.
I’m going all Treehouse tonight, but haven’t decided the order yet.
A selection of Belgium style beers.
Strongbow
IPA from a local brewery.
Monkish Revelations in Braille
I was at my monthly beer share yesterday and the brewpub owner was raving about Monkish.
Well that was nice.
Hey that cobwebbed Virginia McCaskey pussy off my screen
Ain’t no dust there. She keeps her motor clean
I REALLY didn’t need that image in my head
I doubt that kid is a real blonde.
Go betting!
Kids will all now sign up for the draft on field
Speaking of corpsefest, Virginia McCaskey!
Still a tart
i like how she refused to hand over her purse.
someone get these goddamned kids off the field
That was awesome
When are they going to show this kid beating his girlfriend?
Yeah, that’s what we want our children doing, taking life advice from Jim Brown. “How do you spell ‘defenestrate’ Mr. Brown?”
BFC reporting for duty.
Hope that duty ends better for you than it did for that statue of Pat Tillman we just got rammed down our jingoistic throats.
If they wanted to honor WWII vets they’d let ‘em kill one last German, right there in the stadium.
it only seems right
Herr Drumpf!
My parents didn’t enjoy the midfield corpsefest. Mom likened it to when they were trotting out HW Bush in his chair, pushed by Barbara… I have to disagree here. Bush was grabbing asses to the very end, after all.
I liked when Bar toured the Superdome and chuckled about how lucky the darkies were to be there.
Just won $5 from the wife on the coin toss. YES MY PARTY IS RAGING WHY DO YOU ASK.
$5….sounds like a raging semi.
Double or nothing on first points. She has KC. AGAIN NO ONE PARTIES LIKE WE PARTY.
TAILS NEVAR FAILS!!
/I still had mute on, so this may be wrong
Tails indeed did not fail.
WE WANT THE BALL, AND WE’RE GOING TO DEFER
San Francisco always wants tails
By the way, I wasn’t kidding about paczkis earlier. I’ve got like 6 of ’em in the house.
Here’s a prop bet for you: Will Horatio eat more paczkis than he drinks beer?
Fuck yeah paczkis.
Yummy, what beer pairs best with paczkis?
I’d guess a pilsner, but I’m going with IPAs.
I will trade you a Monkish kickoff beer for a paczki
I’ll put one in the mail now.