There’s much talk of drinkling and fooding in the early thread so I know that everyone is doing it right proper today. The forty-five minutes I spent on the elliptical (god, I hate that motherfucker) won’t even begin to justify the calories that I’ll be absorbing through the day but we all like to pretend, right? And this tilt-doing the research for the intro it’s remarkable how well coached these teams are, the disparate weapons each squadoo has, the game-planning that’s been done to get here… Everything about these two teams is so impressive. So, as Guga Foods would say, Let’s Do It!
TO THE GAME!
Niners/Chiefs:
-Everywhere you look it’s strength against strength against strength. The Chiefs started the season looking like last season’s Shoot ’em up squad that had to out-score everyone and yes, they have some of those same attributes but now they can actually stop people-namely, outside receivers.
-San Fran’s stifling D plays zone coverage the second-most of all teams. Wanna guess which football tosser had the highest QBR rating against zone coverage? Yeah, that Mahomes kid.
-San Fran has only trailed by more than 7 points just once all season long. But Andy Reid’s record after getting a bye in regular and postseason is a gaudy 23-5.
-In bottling up receivers the Chiefs D has allowed the 3rd-most catches to the tight end position. Kittles has been vewy, vewy qwiet the past two weeks but he may have to be the gamebreaker today if San Fran has to match scores. He’ll most likely be defended off and on by Honey Badger who has been very effective in a ‘roaming’ role this season.
-It certainly seems as though the Niners own the best d-line in the biz and the numbers back them up. When Armstead, Ford, Bosa and Buckner are on the field at the same time they get a pressure rate (just think of a fast-collapsing pocket) of 44%. On third and fourth down that rate rises to a ridiculous 57%.
-So Mahomes under pressure-I wonder how his numbers look when he has to throw in 2.5 seconds or less. [shuffles through notes] Ah, here it is-he’s 218 for 300 on his completions (72%) with 16 TD’s and no intercepts. Jesus Christ.
-I took a look at prop bets and the one that makes me curious is Mahomes running yardage at 24.5 or 30.5, depending where you look. He’s run for 53 in each game, you know there’ll be at least one designed run for him, you know he’ll get flushed out of the pocket a few times and you know he’s going to take off if there’s a long ball play and Hill is covered and the open middle of the field beckons. Am I missing something here?
-Prediction Time: I don’t think this game will get away from the Niners. I do want Reid to get a ring and not be saddled with the ‘couldn’t get it done in the big game’ albatross. I am all for Mahomes getting a Super Bowl under his belt on his way to eclipsing Brady as the best QB of all time over the next 15-18 years. Let’s do 31-28 Chiefs.
How about you? Where’d you put the moneys? Who was the first to bring up politics out of context? Who’s the sloppy drunk in your gang? You didn’t burn the nachos did you? Fill some space down below.
Well-executed optionDOWN!!
What the fuck was that dance move!?
That was awesome!
The Temptations?
Jason Momoa is my handsome boyfriend. Don’t tell Lisa.
Jason Momosa is the only man I need, girlfriend (snaps).
Lisa Bonet after your ass is frankly more terrifying than Jason Momoa. Pretty sure he’d make it quick.
She knows voodoo. I’m not messing with her!
That movie is guaranteed to give me nightmares. Every fucking time.
Why didn’t Mahomes slide there?
He was about to, but he got hit before he started it.
If he did they would a h ad shot him
Jason Momoa is a fucking hero.
Yeah, but that was sort of nightmare inducing.
More Florence Pugh in my life is fine
Zach Braff is a lucky man.
I prefer Florence Henderson. Maybe even a threesome with Alice.
Will Erin Andrews be too scarred to interview Sherman after this game?
WAL-MART. IN. SPAAAAAAAAACE!
If the aliens really want to help us they’ll level every goddamn Wal-Mart in the world and incinerate every one of the pajama-clad denizens within.
It’ll be a start.
Fumble went out of bounds and rolled behind the marker, so 4th down?
He’s already crossed the first down marker. Does that matter?
Nope. No forward progress
We all agree that people who watch the Suoer bOwl “for the commercials” are insufferable, right?
es verdad
I’m fond of my wife, thankyouverymuch.
I love my mom too! But she’s wrong here.
Eric the Actor – ACK! ACK!
If Mahomes gets hurt, the Niners are dead to me
The entire airport just went ‘ooooh’ at that hit
This is a surprisingly fun crowd to watch with
Targeting!
Apparently there is a prop bet as to whether or not the announcers would mention the word ‘Patriots’ or not. Something like -300.
As far as I know they haven’t yet.
Sherman got rocked by Kelce too
Sounds good.
Ohnoez! Not the C-collar
Mahomes has a death wish
Kill shot kills the DB?
So apparently I haven’t told you guys my prediction:
KC Defense shuts down the 49ers run game, force Jimmy g to throw, he won’t answer the call.
Kc by at least 8.
I, too, would like to make my predictions on the over/under of the anthem as well as the coin toss.
This is where my money is
Got a growler of Monkish to split with a buddy, but he’s awol so I guess I have to drink all 64 ounces of 8.2% beer.
Bleergh willing
I’m driving to the airport now.
Thoughts and prayers.
Which of these teams is least likely to go to the White House? I’ll root for that one.
Black KC
This SuperB Owl is already better than last years.
The P*ts aren’t in it, so yes.
Not a very high bar, TBH.
Because the patriots aren’t in it?
The dropoff from 52 to 53 was staggering. A field goal competition would be a massive improvement
The action is hotting up!
Fred Warner seems cool.
OK, all these assholes in my house need to leave. I already hate the sunday dinner thing, but tonight….GET THE FUCK OUT AND GIMME MY TEEVEE BACK.
Shitheads. I bought you a house. You need to go to it. NOW.
Buy me a house. I will leave you alone and give you weed.
Hey, if you got weed you can live here.
How long til I start hearing about how “some people just tuning in might be surprised such a low scoring game between these two high powered offenses.”
I got 7 minutes til Buck runs his mouth
I turned the sound off, not enough beer in the world to make me listen to him.
All those fucking trumpsters wanted football to be less political and now we have to sit through this
Why, it’s almost as if these people are just stupid fucking whites trash who don’t mean anything they parrot from FoxNews and maybe we should just ignore their demands and underpay/overcharge them every chance we get here in civilized America.
No, they just want it to be more their politics.
What’s our over/under on comments? 1100?
What was it last year? And that game sucked so probably add more.
We broke 1000 last year, didn’t we?
How should I know? I’m not a doctor.
She looks like a blonde Erin Gray.
SF 6, KC 3 at the quarter break would rule
No hobo slayin?
is implied
Least some hobo slumping n
Wasn’t Robbie Gould on the Sex Cannon run?
Indeed he was.
He was the last player from the 06 team to leave the bears
I assume Stephen Miller was in charge of vetting “black ppl who will thank Trump on teevee in exchange for a commutation.”
He doesn’t like talking to Those People at all
I listened to the Blagojavich podcast. Everyone knows how Trump works. If you want something from him, you stab your pride and go on tv to praise him.
I wonder if it would work if I went out in public and started going on and on about how Trump policies were going to save the environment, and then said what those polices should be?
I bet he’d try to enact at least 4 of them, and then the GOP would impeach him.
Jesus fuck, if I’m gonna have to sit through Trump ads I’m adding scotch to the mix right fucking quick.
You’re a nepotistic shit, Joe
I wonder if Fox gives a discount to Trump for his political ads.
¡Por supuesto!
No shutout, at least
Thank god I’m not watching the game with the my buddies family like i used to.
It’s all gonna be Trump and Bloomberg ads, pissing off everyone even more.
One of the few times in my life that I’m thankful the draconian CRTC regulations means I don’t have to see any of this bullshit.
Millonarios are leading La Equidad, 2-1
/in other FITBAW news
lol
Are Pats favs rooting for Jimmy G to succeed or against him?
Whatever gets me winning bets.
I don’t particularly care one way or the other.
The Fast & The Furious: Arthritis!
I am sitting behind a couple that kisses each other with every successful Niners play. They will either end up divorced or fucking in front of me within hours
Money’s on both
I keep debating if I should try to up the ante and make eye contact the whole time
Ask if they want a piece
I would say start jackin’ it with said eye contact, but I don’t know if being a lady changes that on the awkwardness scale. Is it more or less awkward?
Going from Dear Abby to Penthouse Forum real quick here
Not if you murder them first.
I’m an attorney, and based on my experience I can tell you that this is the textbook definition of justifiable homicide.
1, 2, THREE POINTS, AH AH AH
Wow, I miss watching Sesame Street.
My favorite Muppet.
Yeah, takes a real defensive genius to think of doubling Kittle.
“Say, this Brady fella’s pretty good. We should pressure him!”
Niners making the mistake of going up early