That’s right, fuckos. It’s nut-cuttin’ time. Perhaps we shall get extra time and/or pennos to add to the suspense. It’s been a fun tournament, so hopes are high.
But remember, kids, never ever have hope.
Wales v. Denmark – in Amsterdam (Noon, ESPN)
Emotional favoUrites Denmark get kinda sorta home pitch for this? Seems an easier trip than from Wales, and what Welshman would want to leave his best sheep behind for such a nervy affair? Still, this is a very even matchup. Danes could run out of juice at any moment, though they surely have the best keeper if we’uns level after 120.
Italy v. Austria – in London (3:00, ABC)
Tasty affair, this. I expected – based on nothing in particular – the Fightin’ Fuhrers to be a dreadful watch. But they were pretty attack-minded in the group stage. Sphincters get mighty tight in knockout play, though. But I wouldn’t count on shutting the Mussolini Men out. Though I still harboUr my lingering doubts as to their staying power. Phrasing. I look forward to your Blitz jokes, which obvs must continue this coming Tuesday.
Come laugh at DFO’s Prediction Pool.
Check out that missed scissor/bicycle kick by, um, Giglio Manicotti!(?)
This here futbol contest is going to pennos. HIPPO HATH SPAKE
These Eyetalians are quite disappointing.
Like when that smooth talker in the fancy suit say ah swear(-io?), this-a never happen to me before
I’m a dumb banana but I thought Italy was the best-looking team during the first round. Huh.
oh they surely were. Like the Dutch, or Brasil (World Cup years only), they can flatter to deceive
Meanwhile at the Tour de France
https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/1408844878344196098?s=20
BAN FANS!
There was also a 2nd huge pile up later on. Good start for the TdF.
hey maw, ah gots on teh teevee!!!
Tie that man to the front wheel of the pennyfarthing, and then do the mountain downhills!
Brit announcer seems to think that one midfielder for Eye-ties is a spinner, but I just don’t see it.
Is that the same one who keeps talking about Austria delivering a “shocker”?
indeed-y-do
Shitballs…
Germany isn’t playing today.
Yes, yes, we know what happens to the offal of a person who writes on shithouse walls…
Whatever you do, don’t read it!
LOOK AT YOU, AUSTRIA!!!!!!!!!
Via text, Scotchy was feeling this’un. Hippo Verificado!
VAR’d!
NAWT Springtime FOAR Hitler after all. Sad semi-Krauts.
Italians having trouble getting pasta Austrian D.
The old Raiders used to draft based purely on speed alone. The new WOKE Raiders now draft based on homosexuality only?
The old Raiders used to draft based purely on speed alone
I strongly disagree with this statement-at the very least there was some cocaine, I’m sure of this.
Cole’s Notes Australia is holding their own vs Italy so far.
Any of you alls got any experience with this Microsoft BI product line?
Is it aimed at the lgbtqia+ market?
Supposed to be like, “This is good for businesses because you don’t have to know how to code to do stuff!”
I’ve reached the limits of what I can accomplish with excel sheets with our company. I’ve also accepted that the leap to a database system will likely leave some of my less tech-savvy people out of the future but, frankly, every single one of them has taken the time savings/improvements provided by my absolute simplification of the their work tasks and responded by becoming just that much more comfortable in their spots (“I click on this button!”) while distancing themselves from their responsibilities (“I only push the button! It isn’t on me to check if the output is wrong or right; I don’t know how it works!”)
Now it’s just time to go semi-full automation for most of these tasks.
National Anthems Before International Sporting Events? Acceptable.
National Anthems Before North American Sporting Events? Fuck Off.
except O Canadia when y’alls is in teh playoffs
“I responsibly disagress.”
-Charlie Kelly, my lawyer in these matters
You’ve made yourself perfectly redundant.
ANTHEMS ARE NOT A MATTER OF BIRD LAW!
but what if they WERE? – Chad O., Cincinnati, OH
This Taylor Twellman fuckwad (loafers without socks is one of his many tells) is the anti-Julie Foudy. Someone should punch him in the dick. With fire (like Dhalsim), preferably.
Did some miles around the track again today (Shirtless Joe was a no-show) and hit the wall* at four because knee pain.
*”Mr. Floating Cartilage, Tear Down This Wall!”
Yeesh. Who runs on a track unless you need measured time/speed efforts?
I’m that guy that writes down in a journal how many miles I’ve run and how long it took so I can track my progress.
Oh then — ok.
How many and how fast?
I’m in my mid-50’s and have a long term goal in mind. I’m keeping that info in a little red book. If I achieve my goal, everyone will hear about it. If I fail I’ll burn the book and have the ashes buried with me.
Thanks for your interest!
“::Confers with scouts and coaches in a tight murmuring clique::
We’ll be taking you in the first round.”
-Al Davis
“So far away” — Flock of Seagulls
Who runs?
Strange Advance runs-here’s the evidence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNUuNbw4BEQ&ab_channel=RockTheNightsRetro-Pop
COVID can fuck right off:
https://www.espn.com/college-sports/story/_/id/31711201/nc-state-college-world-series-due-covid-19-issues-vanderbilt-finals
SOrry, ghost of tWBS and Hippo. That just suuuuucks.
/exactly the kind of thing that would befall WVU in the Final Four or CFB Playoff
Somebody in the CWS thread on our blog-y-poo noted – I kid thee not – like 72 hours before this happened that “NC State shit” wasn’t real after all. Even though it has its own hashtag.
Meh, their coach thinks vaccines are a political issue. Fuck em.
oh, we definitely asked for it with all that. But athletes are generally stupid, and in my experience (I coached youth ball like 5 years, little brother was a good player) – baseballists are the stupidest subset of athlete.
Beckie is wearing a tank top-her shoulders go on for miles and miles…
The best part of Pretend Lyf is setting a cool-ass preseason. Especially in the every-4-year occurrence when no Euros, World Cup, or Club World Cup to compress one’s timeframe.
To which 2nd-to-3rd world nation should Bernard Gilkey take his charges??
/I just did Angola, so not Angola
I believe Cecil Rhodes may have some suggestions for you.
I believe Ceylon has a plucky side that year.
I keep typing in Rhodesia and fuckall comes up. CONSPIRACY, I says.
Speaking of, where is New Fish? Did we come on too strong, ya think??
I smooshed my thumb a couple days ago and I’m quite upset that the resulting bruise is not particularly impressive.
but DID U GET OPIATES??
At least gonna lose a nail?
1) Does Denmark noe that they don’t need to worry about goal differential no more?
2) Allow me to be the first to tell the sheep shaggers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSet6htnVcQ
Motherfucking YouTube. But they did, in fact, get knocked tha FUCK out, man!
Congrats to Dan and Mark on their victory!
C’mon Wales, show some ddosbarth in these last few minutes.
If you get a red card, at least make it worth it by taking out a danish.
Update from the road. Stopped in Patterson, NY and was able to sample an exotic Upstate NY called, get this, “chocolate” milk. Who knew?
I hear that in New York City, they have this remarkable concoction called “bread and butter” that cannot be obtained in less sophisticated places.
We noticed you like sugar and fat, so we put some more sugar and fat in your sugar and fat!
Is strawberry milk still a thing?
Pretty sure that’s what they sell in stands at Colts games but I’d have to confirm with GravyGuyRob.
Rumor has it there’s lots of ‘Browns’* in NYS, so be careful.
*cows
BRING BACK UPSTATE UNDERDOG!
TRUE HIPPO STORY! This gal I knew back in high school…seriously thought chocolate milk came from brown cows.
I was ruthless in my attempts to convince all my friends in high school that chocolate milk did indeed come from brown cows. The fact(s) that it was pre-Internet and my father ran a dairy made it remarkably easy.
Fuck
The 2107 Pretend title race went down to the last matchday. I finally scored a stoppage time goal – at home to the goddmned last place side – to finish 2 clear of the Redshite. Turns out, a draw would have seen me through by +1 in goal differential, but obviously couldn’t risk that.
Obviously
Haven’t they replaced all the players with androids yet?
Good only knows how many prunes I have to choke down to squeeze out me monthly poo.
I assume that Pretend Hippo was the first to sign up for the anti-aging pills.
So many subs coming in it reminds me of the movie “Das Boot 2: International Water Sports Orgy In The Mid-Atlantic”.
If you want to read a good saga, I recommend all the hoopla and changing requirements around Thailand’s Phuket sandbox opening, still slated to happen July 1st although I suspect no one will show up and this is the Thai government’s desired outcome. I guess we should maybe give them some credit for making more of an effort than anywhere else in SE Asia to reopen, but nah
I CALL DENMARK ‘MY FAVOURITE BARTENDER’ BECAUSE THEY’RE REALLY POURING IT ON.
Peach count is at 60. Just 40 more to go!
“That peach count is a bit high for my liking.”
-Jacob deGrom
Saw a roadside vendor selling Fredericksburg peaches out on the highway today and was reminded to wonder how you were making out.
Turns out I am very bad at picking international futbol game outcomes. I am okay with that.
I’m just shooting for “not last place.”
Honestly, any of you who finish below me should be ashamed of yourselves. I know nothing about this sport.
You are beating a 4 year old!
PHRASING.
I heard Dunstan was beating him with relish-which is a kink I’d never heard of before.
I like how Mark Clattenberg’s English gets shittier as el torneo goes on. He’s like a really pale Sammy Sosa.
Uhhh Whales, maybe don’t pass it to the Danish guy in the box. He was fucking shocked that he got it.
That reeks of ‘panicky clearing kick’.
Hard to pick a side when two underdogs go at it. “BE MORE SMARTER, SOKKER!”
Chris Coleman, getting lucky with a sheep in a non-traditionally Welsh way?
Chris Coleman is a Mighty Whitey legend.
This Wales team needs to learn how to pass the ball better.
/also maybe a 2nd player that’s MOAR skilled than Hippo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxPNMbsHSNw
How can that Hippo be happy, there is no Oxy in evidence anywhere?
Unfortunately, yelling “Im Open!” in Welsh takes 15 seconds and 98 syllables.
With not a vowel in sight!
Y is sometimes a vowel!
Blgggywl this man.
That’s “banner” inWelsh.
Strangely, though, “Please stop, not this again!” is just a single syllable in Welsh.
It’s pronounced “BAAAAAA!”
Are you my daaaaaaaddy?
Just passed the highest point on I-90 between here and South Dakota, so who’s the real world traveler now?
What is that about 60 ft above sea level?
1774.
Connecticut had higher elevations.
I was never a fan of danishes.
“Hey nail that guy to a fucking cross!!”
Andy Reid
/Also Patton Oswalt
I would have thought it would be nailing him to a croissant.
What the hell does someone stealing an expensive watch have to do with scoring a goal in the Euros?
Danes make a mark first.
I totes respect how the Wales manager pairs a normal(ish) shirt with track pants. HIPPO APPROVED!
Cavalry FC manager and fellow bitter blue disagrees.
he better be fuming about Benitez, too
Game 1 tomorrow in a bubble. Me thinks his mind is elsewhere.
No Goddamned excuses, Coach Tommy!
Would think the Cavs roll tomorrow, bet as you will Hippo.
Wales in they Dragon Tales kit.
Hey, that was a good show!
I always pretended those kids were Satan worshippers, summoning daemons.
Dan-Mark?? Is that sum kind of gay marriage thing wut about teh CHILDREN???
The seven-day average of COVID cases in the U.S. has gone up three days in a row now. In the interest of reversing this trend, I’m going to predict that it continues to creep upwards for the next two weeks.
Canada, on the other hand, keeps trending downwards nicely. Keep it up, ‘nucks!
My fuckhead province is opening up because my Conservative gubmt aint bullee no Delta variant.
At least your national government isn’t having any truck with crazy ideas like opening the border to Americans who are fully vaccinated with vaccines that have been shown to be effective against the Delta variant!
It does seem like all those unvaccinated people who wanted to “acquire natural immunity” are getting their wish.
Well, isn’t death the final natural immunity to all diseases? I hope they all do acquire their natural immunity.
It had been muggy or rainy since THU. First World problem, Third World locale
Surf’s Up!
Lot nicer there at Vieques since the Navy left, though.
>Surf’s Up!
For Horatio, maybe.
It does closely resemble a high wave day at Hammonassett.
Water is much clearer.
If ypu can keep the kiddoes off the unexploded ordinance. (Ordnance?)
Let’s ask the expert
He said
“Yeah baby, yeah!!!”
Sadly, I will miss most of today’s tilts as I will be traveling to a family reunion in, of all places, Syracuse.
If Jim Boeheim goes missing, it was probably me.
picks nose in solidarity
Family Member #1: “Let’s all gather in Syracuse.”
Family Member #2: “Syracuse? It’s not even centrally located for everyone. Why?”
Family Member #1: “You know… Horatio…”
Family Member #2: “Oh shit-I’ll call him with the good news.”
Family Member #1: “No, I want to call him.”
Family Member #2: “Fine. But I’m booking reservations for everyone at the hotel closest to the Carrier Dome.”
Family Member #1: “Fucking genius.”
I have a fair amount of extended family in the Silkycuse area. A couple of relatives taught at the university and the rest just sort of slunk their way west, as is tradition with my kind.*
*The Irish
The Danish team has heart, but Wales has a football in the groin…
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv2Z_HLzYas
That’s my Wolfpack.
Per ESPN:
NC State out of College World Series due to COVID-19 issues.
When asked if he was vaccinated, which prompted a vague response. “I’m not going to talk about that,” Avent said. “If you want to talk baseball, we can talk baseball. If you want to talk politics or stuff like that, you can go talk to my head of sports medicine, Rob Murphy.”
Sigh.
/tWBS’s headstone rattles in anger
They played yesterday with 9 position players (counting the #2 SP playing 1B, he hadn’t taken a competitive at bat since high school) and FOUR total pitchers. The SP had like 8 and 1/3 innings ALL GODDAMNED SEASON.
Only lost 3-1, somehow. But then apparently it got worse.
Half of the entire team – at a SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING school – were apparently unvaccinated.
Last night was the final broadcast of Marv Albert’s career, and it makes me so fucking happy that his final game was a forty point blowout that nobody paid one iota of attention to after halftime.
Would you say it made you so happy you wanted to be wrapped in leather and whipped?
No, I’d say it made me even happier than I normally am on an average day.
Don’t forget the pink panties!
found something funny
“Soup of the Day” implies another, possibly even seductive, “Soup of the Night”.
Is this a follow-up to the “jizz-mopping” discussion from last night’s thread?
It’s the 13th Battle of the Isonzo! But in London not Friuli Venezia-Giulia!
https://english.sta.si/isonzo-front
I visited a number of these battlefields when I worked at Aviano AB. This part of the war gets ignored in favor of the Western Front, but it was worse than France because Alps.
I am still rooting for Wales and Belgium. So, if you are smart, don’t put money on either.