Rum, Simile and the Lash: Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 25, 2022January 25, 2022

So that happened. Yes, it was an amazing game. And yes, if Andy Reid really had any of the good-natured regular-guy humanity we attribute to him, neither Tyreek Hill nor Willie "Marvin" Gay would have been on that field. And Josh Allen might be this generation's John Elway or Dan Marino.

A Modester Proposal: DFO Buys the Denver Broncos (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 18, 2022

I have been called many things: Dreamer. Madman. Mrs. Ethel Burstein. But this is not some delusion of grandeur, like that time I thought I could renew my drivers license in less than two hours. No, this dream can come true. WILL come true. DFO is going to buy the Denver Broncos. It sort

FFS, It’s Tuesday Again?: Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 4, 2022

Whelp, here we are: the long, slow march between New Years and Valentine's Day. Nothing good happens here, save (hopefully) some good NFL Playoff Football. If time is a map, this is the big blank spot in the middle. Only instead of that meaning "unexplored", it's a literal representation of

Wait, It’s Tuesday? Where Are The NFL Games? Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 28, 2021December 28, 2021

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[EDITED: JOHN MADDEN IS DEAD AND A HAMSTER BIT A KID AT A MOVIE THEATER. NEWS ALWAYS BREAKS LATE] Jeebus on a whole wheat cracker, what day is it? Shouldn't there be two or three postponed NFL games? Whole Wheat Cracker Tangent: remember Stoned Wheat Thins? Man, those were the shit back

Holy C*ckweasels, We Actually Have Football! Tuesday Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 21, 2021

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Well well well. Looks like another year of foul deeds and grotesque habits have slid under Santa's radar, because we've gotten an early Christmas present. Thanks to the magic of rampant COVID-19, there are TWO genuine NFL games on this fine Tuesday evening. "But Reverend," I hear you say, "I thought

Death to Our Smurf Overlords: A Larry King Not Live Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 14, 2021December 14, 2021

Hello, friends. It's another High Drama Tuesday in the National Football League, and yours truly has some thoughts. Yes, I am still dead, but my head's cryogenic storage pod only gets NFL Network and the Oprah Winfrey Network, so watching Urban Meyer threaten his handpicked staff with death for

Pole Assassin Monkey Attack II: When Nature Calls! Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 7, 2021December 7, 2021

"Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity." -Wm. Butler Yeats Yes, the Bills lost a heartbreaker to the Accursed Patriots /spits. But all is

State of the Shield Tuesday Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 30, 2021

There's jack-shit for NFL News today. However, I've always viewed Thanksgiving as the first time you can look at the majority of NFL teams in a given season and know who they are. Some reveal themselves early- any Lions, Jags or Jets fans knew this was gonna be a bumpy

Thanksgrieving Week Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 23, 2021November 23, 2021

Thanksgiving is my favorite mainstream holiday. As soon as people can agree on a date for National Oral Sex Day (which obviously SHOULD be on June 9) that'll be up there. But of the pillars that support Big Holiday in America (New Years, Valentine's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Talk

It’s…Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 9, 2021

I suppose after last week's Stripper Monkey Attack, we were probably due for a lull. No famous quarterbacks ripping off the mask to show their batshittery. No deadly car crashes. Frankly (no pun intended), the most interesting NFL News is not NFL related: Ageless Wonder Frank Gore will be boxing on

Pole Assassin Monkey Attack! Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - November 2, 2021November 2, 2021

"Ladidahdahdah, just a normal Tuesday. Maybe I'll check in on DoorFliesOpen..." BOOM! STEALTH CRIMEBEAT! Oh bitches, you didn't realize what you were walking into, didja? Don't worry. It'll all be over soon. Just lie back and think of England. *Well, the lead story as of this morning involved a stripper, her monkey, Halloween and

Tuesday Night Open Thread and 2021 GLORIOUS BUFFALO BILLS Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 26, 2021October 26, 2021

So, apparently they played football last weekend? The Big Bye (wherein nearly 20% of the league was idle) hit especially hard this year, because it included the guaranteed AFC Champion Buffalo Bills. Did I go there? Yes I did, you craven weirdos. GUARANTEED. AFC. CHAMPIONS. That noise you hear from Orchard Park?