Hold The Phone! Tuesday Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - April 5, 2022April 5, 2022

Hey kids. Where do you want to go? That's right. To Uncle Mayhem's Clubhouse. I was in Vegas this weekend and ended up in the Excalibur, which is a questionable decision in itself. But I flashed back to the Inagural DFOCon in 2016 and started trying to find the giant neon "FUN

In Defense of Intelligemence: A Polemical Discourse on Self-Mediocritization (and Tuesday Open Thread)

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - March 29, 2022March 29, 2022

Hi kids. I apologize for the even-more-aggressive-than-usual tone of tonight's Open Thread, but I have Grievances. The readers, commenters and authors (be all of them!) of this site are a weird lot, with interests ranging from football to cooking, obscure history to tawdry reality shows, alcohol to other, stronger types of

Shocked. SHOCKED! Tuesday Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - March 8, 2022March 8, 2022

The people who guard the rainbow don't like those who get in the way of the sun. -Terry Pratchett, Going Postal Let's jump right into it, boys and girls! It's turned out to be a Busy Day for a non-descript Tuesday in March. The big news (until FIVE FUCKING SECONDS AGO) was that

I’m a Leaf on the Wind: Tuesday Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - March 1, 2022

Hello friends. I apologize that I'm not making even the faint gesture toward humor that I normally do. It's a heavy goddamned week. I won't recite the current List of Dark Shit, because that only emphasizes it. Suffice it to say, this 80s Nostalgia thing has gotten WAY THE FUCK

Kicking Cousins: Tuesday Night Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 22, 2022February 22, 2022

Oh thank God. I thought that interminable NFL season would never finish. Did it have amazingly high levels of play? Yes. Did it have on of the most engaging and exciting post-seasons in recent memory. It did. And did it feature heroes, villians, betrayal and a stupid new name for the Redacteds? You

…Well Let’s Play Chess: Thursday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 17, 2022February 17, 2022

This week's title comes from the classic Blazing Saddles answer to the question paraphrased as "So what should we do now?" Yes, we are staring at a long, cold offseason of no NFL action until (checks league calendar) March 1? Yes, the league's annual Underwear Parade begins in TWO WEEKS! And this

DFO Hate Week: Reverend Mayhem’s America Plus!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - February 8, 2022February 8, 2022

First off, I would like to thank our esteemed JJ Fozz for articulating his Blurred Vision for America. Truly, it takes a brave and insightful individual to propose affirmative solutions instead of simply nitpicking or criticizing someone else's plans. That said: Fozz, you ignorant slut. Your mad plans will doom us all.

Requiem for a HARFHARFHARFyweight: Thursday Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 27, 2022January 27, 2022

So technically the biggest "news" of the day isn't really news at all, with Ben Roethlisberger making the formal announcement of his long-expected retirement. I'm not going to waste your time or my energy with some bullshit "complicated legacy" take on his 18 year career. He was an asshole rapist

Rum, Simile and the Lash: Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 25, 2022January 25, 2022

So that happened. Yes, it was an amazing game. And yes, if Andy Reid really had any of the good-natured regular-guy humanity we attribute to him, neither Tyreek Hill nor Willie "Marvin" Gay would have been on that field. And Josh Allen might be this generation's John Elway or Dan Marino.

A Modester Proposal: DFO Buys the Denver Broncos (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 18, 2022

I have been called many things: Dreamer. Madman. Mrs. Ethel Burstein. But this is not some delusion of grandeur, like that time I thought I could renew my drivers license in less than two hours. No, this dream can come true. WILL come true. DFO is going to buy the Denver Broncos. It sort

FFS, It’s Tuesday Again?: Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - January 4, 2022

Whelp, here we are: the long, slow march between New Years and Valentine's Day. Nothing good happens here, save (hopefully) some good NFL Playoff Football. If time is a map, this is the big blank spot in the middle. Only instead of that meaning "unexplored", it's a literal representation of

Wait, It’s Tuesday? Where Are The NFL Games? Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - December 28, 2021December 28, 2021

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[EDITED: JOHN MADDEN IS DEAD AND A HAMSTER BIT A KID AT A MOVIE THEATER. NEWS ALWAYS BREAKS LATE] Jeebus on a whole wheat cracker, what day is it? Shouldn't there be two or three postponed NFL games? Whole Wheat Cracker Tangent: remember Stoned Wheat Thins? Man, those were the shit back