Through Which Open Door Should You Go?

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 17, 2018

For many fantasy football players that aren't me, this is a huge week. And for many real football players that aren't in northern California, it's an even yuuuger week. I'm talking, of course, about the winter solstice. Oh, and fantasy football championships, and playoff hunts, and end of the year discussions

2018 Quotables – Week 14 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - December 11, 2018December 11, 2018

As I think was the theme in a rash of Hippo Thoughtz comments yesterday, I too get most of my NFL news from a strict diet of Hippoz, Quotables, and Twizzlers. Which, by the way, did you all know Mark Sanchez was on the [*Redacted] s? I do not understand why east

2018 Quotables – Week 13 (Results)

ballsofsteelandfury - December 7, 2018December 7, 2018

So it turns out Blax has had a sinus infection this week and is still under the weather. Just call me a hunky fireman because I come to the rescue when needed. Here are your Week 13 results: /winks knowingly I do love me a fart joke! See what happens when they hide meth

2018 Quotables – Week 13 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - December 4, 2018December 4, 2018

So it turns out I have a sinus infection. Also, these meds have me all loopy so please see below for your Week 13 action.

2018 Quotables – Week 12 (Results)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - November 30, 2018November 30, 2018

Having spent last night counting on the Saints to expose Amari Cooper as a fraud and deflate the Cowboys' newfound confidence, I'm feeling less than overjoyed this morning. I mean, sure, Cooper lost a fumble and dropped a pass, but both of those events were entirely without consequence as the

That’s the Joke

blaxabbath - November 28, 2018November 27, 2018

Disclaimer: This is absolutely not NFL-related. It's not even sports related. But it is joke-related. Continue at your own discretion. Or go back to working like a chump or reading something other than [DFO] while you sit on the can. Whatever. All- As many of you are aware, my wife and I

2018 Quotables – Week 12 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - November 27, 2018November 27, 2018

So Week 12, huh? Well, your injury report information is a novel available here. This isn't important to fired Jacksonville Offensive Coordinator Nathaniel Hackett though. Because, you see, he got fired. Oh, this reminds me -- I was listening to the Cardinals post-game radio show on Sunday (this is actually what

2018 Quotables – Week 11 (Results)

blaxabbath - November 26, 2018November 26, 2018

Understandably, I got all mixed-up with the schedules and tryptophans and caravans and forgot about results last week. So a very special thank you to those of you who politely emailed me to let me know you sent me bitcoin. Your bribe reminder is reflected below. Oh, and Mr Hippo,

2018 Quotables – Week 11 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - November 20, 2018November 26, 2018

Holy cow there were a lot of highlights this weekend. Well, lowlights anyways -- that's more the currency around here. That said, as we enter Thanksgiving football day I'd like to shamelessly plug my 2017 Football is Family post. Anyways, no hype here. Just get to it. Results are still going

2018 Quotables – Week 10 (Results)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - November 16, 2018November 16, 2018

Happy Friday, everybody. I am filling in for our dear Blax today, as I assume his hearing is running longer than expected. We're all rooting for an acquittal, buddy! As I couldn't top anyone's performance was busy working on Tuesday, I didn't make any comments and can truly have no

2018 Quotables – Week 10 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - November 13, 2018November 13, 2018

Week 10. I still have no idea what the deal with 75% of the NFL team is this year (usually I’m around 50%, honestly). Not that this should really matter for this weekly hit piece but I do try to spread around the attention. But when there’s about four really

2018 Quotables – Week 9 (Results)

blaxabbath - November 9, 2018November 9, 2018

Here are your submissions. Great work as always except for, as with the Powerball, those of you don't play. If you don't play, you can't win. Dez learned this lesson for Week 10 as he heads to New Orleans to cancer-up that locker room; you should learn it/cancer-up stuff too.