Moosemas in Hell (Part Three)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 15, 2017December 14, 2017

The scene: The barren plains of Hell. The Moosemobile is racing across the crimson sands of the diabolic wastelands, with an infernal machine in full pursuit. The infernal machine looks like a vintage Soviet KV-2 heavy artillery tank as re-imagined by famed painter H.R. Giger. So it's a pretty gnarly piece

Moosemas in Hell (Part Two)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 8, 2017December 7, 2017

The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Assorted DFOers, Olympian gods, ninjas and hangers-on are currently in the lab with the Dimensional Energy Retrieval Portal as Zymm programs new coordinates into the computer. Ballsofsteelandfury: So...you were serious, Dok? Moose and the others are really in Hell? Doktor Zymm (punching keys):

Moosemas in Hell (Part One)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 1, 2017November 30, 2017

The scene: Hell. It's a vast, wasted landscape where the screams of the damned echo throughout the burning plains and jagged mountains. The sky itself is smoke and fire and one can only look upon the devastation and know the bleak feeling of despair. So really, it's a lot like Detroit. The

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 101)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 24, 2017November 22, 2017

The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, the rec room, where it's beginning to look a lot like Moosemas. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is on a ladder, hanging up orange and blue tinsel and... What? Oh, yeah. The base has a rec room. It's pretty cool. 120-inch projection TV,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 100)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 17, 2017November 17, 2017

The scene: The parking lot of the Iguana Mart in the future. Like, waaaay in the future, man. There's currently a one-sided firefight going on, as an enraged blue-skinned sexually-ambiguous bartender is shooting at several DFOers with a Multi-Use Explosive Rocket Tracking-Enhanced system. The DFOers, for their part, are hiding

Your “What else is on?” Monday Night Football Preview and Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury - November 13, 2017November 11, 2017

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Seriously, when I looked at yesterday's schedule, there was not one game that I was interested in watching. Steelers-Clots wasn't even available in LA. We were instead given the merde-pourri of Vikings-Redacteds, Cowboys-Falcons, RAMMIT-Texans, and Shitty Clippers-Jaguras. And then on Sunday night, we were given Pats-Broncos? Yeah Right. Now that

Balls and tWBS: At The Movies

theeWeeBabySeamus - November 11, 2017November 9, 2017

Citizen Kane Casablanca Gone With The Wind Lawrence of Arabia Schindler's List These are just a few of the movies celebrated as being the best of all time and which I haven't watched. This is Balls, btw. tWBS is more cultured than me and may have seen some of these. tWBS: I've actually seen Citizen Kane

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 99)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 10, 2017November 9, 2017

The scene: The Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, the lab where Doktor Zymm is trying to resurrect Yolanda the vampire from her current state. Which is basically dust and ash. The lab is filled with bubbling chemicals, test tubes, beakers...all that science-y stuff. Doktor Zymm is pouring the last

Your 2017 Stihlers Bye Week Report

ballsofsteelandfury - November 7, 2017November 7, 2017

Thought you were done with me, huh? Nope! Because the Pittsburgh Steelers had a bye in the week just concluded, you get an update on where they are this season. Also, because it's me, you get it in homophonic pictorial form. Okay, let's start. I originally said that this season would hinge on

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 98)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - November 3, 2017November 2, 2017

The scene: The Deadly Jungle on the Secret Island of Doktor Zymm! A pair of crabmen, having escaped the lab (and an angry Fozz) are making their way through the foliage. King Crabman: Gbt tvu mk. [Well, that was certainly a setback.] Crabman #1: Mk! Tku vk gtgt! [A setback? We

The Blair Walsh Project

laserguru - October 31, 2017

Exterior: Wintertime in a wooded area. A shaky handheld camera pans in a 180 degree view. Voice 1: "Hey Laura? I think I've got it!" Voice 2: "Is it on? Have you ever worked one of those things before?" V1: "Oh geez, it's just a camcorder ya know. Even a little kid can

HRTN Horror Double-Feature!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 27, 2017October 26, 2017

The scene: An abandoned cabin in the woods, where Angry Girl Scout has brought Unsurprised, Litre Cola and the Maestro, in order to sacrifice them to her dark master in return for unimaginable power. At the moment, the three are tied up and leaning against the couch. Each of them