NFL Speakeasy Stories: Much Together

blaxabbath - August 30, 2021August 27, 2021

Angel’s Share, East Village. 2:47 am, August 30th, 2021 The taxi pulling up exactly on time, a lone passenger tilts his head to see the upper floors of the surrounding high rises before daring to even reach for the door handle. Just another Sunday night, no different than those before where

Well, Back Up the Hill We Go: Your New York Jets Preview

Senor Weaselo - August 17, 2021August 16, 2021

Hey, nice of us to pop back in the Greek underworld for a bit! Senor Weaselo and Hades are currently mid-bottle of wine (white, Senor can't drink red) and mid-conversation about… something. Senor Weaselo: Anyway, I'm saying you might be able to capitalize on this. Hades, lord of the Greek underworld: Senor,

Your Jets at the Bye Rant

Senor Weaselo - November 16, 2020November 16, 2020

The minimum word count's still broke, so let's do this: Let's put 5 minutes on the clock and see what I can type out. Ready? Go. The New York Jets are BAD. Forget winless bad, a lot of teams can do that. I'm talking great works of badness in history. I'm

Your “My Eyes, My Freakin’ Eyes!” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - October 1, 2020

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I quote from a synopsis of Oedipus Rex, "His self-punishment (blinding himself) reveals that he believes his suffering is deserved". That sounds about right, doesn't it? Perhaps that's a bit dark and melodramatic but on the other hand I might be preaching to the choir. (snorts) Well, this is where

Woo! Your Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - September 13, 2020September 13, 2020

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[turns BEST BRA EVER! admercial off] It's almost too much football, isn't it? Kidding! No, it is not. TO THE GAMES!!! Jets/Bills: Did the Vikes front office giggle a bit when they traded the league's best downfield wr (% of passes caught 20+ yards from LOS) to the Bills so that he could

Oh Yeah, It’s Time for a Jets Preview (or, Quarantine in the Underworld)

Senor Weaselo - August 18, 2020August 17, 2020

Scene: The underworld! Hades, the god of the Greek underworld, and Persephone, his wife and the goddess of both the underworld and vegetation, are at home watching the Marble League, because of course they are. Persephone is wearing a Raspberry Racers shirt, while Hades is wearing, out of all teams,

Horatio’s ‘Let’s Try To Get 5 Out Of 32 This Year, Dumbass’ Mock Draft

Horatio Cornblower - April 6, 2020April 5, 2020

This year's NFL draft runs from April 23-25 and will be a somewhat more subdued ceremony than in recent years, in that teams will be drafting remotely. It'll still be on TV, (I assume; I mean ESPN has got to show something besides old Michael Jordan games, right?), and we'll

Your “It’s Almost Over And We Learned So Little” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - December 29, 2019December 29, 2019

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Shall we get right at it? We shall. TO THE GAMES! Jets/Bills: [shakes head] The Jets won 6 games? How? Anyhow, it's not a far reach to posit that as a kid, Josh Allen must have thrived during 'unstructured playtime'. Browns/Bengals: Much like Sex Panther, this game smells like Bigfoot's dick. One must give Cincy

Another Jets Preview in the Underworld, 2019 Edition

Senor Weaselo - August 13, 2019August 13, 2019

Right, this. Uh, shit. I haven't been down in a while, being busy and all. Eh, let's start this and I imagine someone will call and yell at me. So! Another year, another Jets preview. Oh, another coach, this time replacing Todd "Not Sally" Bowles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhIt69v0yzY (I've wanted to use that for a

NFL Speakeasy Stories: Relinquish

blaxabbath - May 22, 2019May 21, 2019

Angel’s Share, East Village. 2:47 am, May 22nd, 2019 Door handles. Door handles jiggle when they are locked. Why do door handles jiggle when they are locked but turn smoothly otherwise? This thing isn't even supposed to be locked. These are the thoughts of a typically straight-laced professional on the tail end

Your “‘Of Course I’m Pro-Bowel!’ -Adam Viniateri” Sunday Afternoon Free-for-all Open Thread

scotchnaut - January 27, 2019January 27, 2019

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Silly NFL-related News: -The Bears are looking for kicker options other than the fella currently on their roster. Take one step forward, Redford Jones-you just might be hoofing footballs for the least amount of money Chicago is willing to pay for a guy that might win them a few close games. Asked

Your “Shall I Compare These Games To A Summer’s Day?” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

scotchnaut - December 30, 2018

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Naw, I don't think so-it's already been done by Shakey The Sphere and that was some time ago. Let's compare each of these games (many of which are...hold onto your barnacles...completely irrelevant!) to say, an offering at a buffet-style restaurant or a meal/snack I enjoyed as a child. What's that? Did