So I missed the traditional Bye Week Update window for the Santa Clara 49ers (2-3, third in the NFC West by virtue of not having played) largely because I didn't realize until Sunday night that they were on a bye. And that is somewhat telling about the team so far: mediocre,
Tag: 49ers
Chainmail and Chucklef**ks: 2021 San Francisco 49ers Preview
Well that didn't take long. Last year's preview was basically one long mea culpa about how wrong I had been to predict that the 2019 49ers would go 6-10, when they actually went to the Super Bowl. The 2020 Niners promptly went...6-10. I wasn't wrong, just early. This year's team does not hold a whole
A Feast of Crow: 2020 San Francisco 49ers Preview
Hate Week 2020 Retrospective: Revisiting My Disasterous 49ers Preview
Welcome, everyone- it's Hate Week 2020 at DFO! It is my third-favorite time of the football year, trailing only Draftsmas Eve and P*triots Schadenfreude Day. Hate Will See Us Through. And there are so many, many things I loathe with a great and abiding passion. The P*triots. Alt-Nazis. People who don't pronounce
Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview
[Author's Note: In support of DFO's efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this preview as a Pre-Post-Modern Impressionist visual meditation on man's inhumanity to man. Please tune in tomorrow for the Bills preview, which will be in the form
49ers Bye Week: So Uninspiring You Probably Didn’t Notice We Weren’t Playing
What the fuck do I even say? What even is there? It’s not as if our team has just been beleaguered by injuries (*hands Beastmode a tissue for his tears) or some other catastrophic accident, our lackluster season has been the culmination of systemic and repetitive organizational ambivalence and ineptitude.
Week 13 Free Ballin’ Football Podcast and the Answer to “Is Kaepernick Elite?”
Chip Kelly Calls a Press Conference
Colin Kaepernick Makes A Tough Decision
Marcus Mariota Visits Golden Gate Park
Go West, Young Chip
Wellllllll.... this should be interesting... Charles E. "Chip" Kelly has accepted the position of head coach of the Santa Clara San Francisco 49ers. I mean, when your team president and noted thin-skinned dickbag Jed York couldn't get along with noted successful sociopath and discount khaki enthusiast Jim Harbaugh, it's a brilliant idea to
Live from San Francisco: A Super Bowl 50 Update
*TV static crackles* We interrupt this current broadcast to bring you this important breaking news. Our field reporter on the West Coast, the illustrious Beerguyrob, has sent us this disturbing imagery directly from the historic Pier One, in downtown San Francisco. We received it late last night, and after several hours of