Santa Clara Diet: A San Francisco 49ers Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 14, 2019August 13, 2019

[Author's Note: In support of DFO's efforts to maintain its position at the bleeding edge of Blog Innovation, I have chosen to conduct this preview as a Pre-Post-Modern Impressionist visual meditation on man's inhumanity to man. Please tune in tomorrow for the Bills preview, which will be in the form

2018-2019 Chicago Bears Preview

Team Previews

BrettFavresColonoscopy - August 9, 2018August 9, 2018

Photo Credit: Some Weird Youtube Video with Adrian Amos Every year of my football-watching life, the off-season has been a giant slog punctuated by tiny dopamine hits along the otherwise slow, cruel, and seemingly endless march to opening kickoff. As soon as the Super Bowl was over, I craved football's return.

Your “Stylin’ & Profilin'” Monday Night Football & Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - October 2, 2017October 2, 2017

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NFL News: The pressure must have gotten to John Fox - it's Truth Biscuit time in Chicago! His first game will be next Monday night versus the Vikings. With the Falcons bye week approaching, it appears Julio Jones - owner & wearer of the high flyin' cleats in the banner

Your ‘Why don’t you just kill yourself because you’re already dead’: Miami Dolphins Preview

Wakezilla - August 30, 2017August 30, 2017

Scene begins with a view of worn down home in Vancouver. Is it a crack shack or a mansion? nobody knows. The door opens, to reveal Wakezilla wearing a white Cam Wake jersey and no pants. He waves to the camera and signals for the camera crew to come in

Chicago Bears 2017-2018 Preview

BrettFavresColonoscopy - August 21, 2017August 24, 2017

Today is a weird day. Not just in the DFO Clubhouse either. All across America today, PERHAPS EVEN RIGHT NOW, the moon is blocking out the sun. What greater metaphor for the 2017 Bears Football Season than that?! Abandon all hope ye who enter this season as Bears fans. In these

Your “Oh Look – It’s The Atlanta F*%$#-king Falcons” Season Preview

Beerguyrob - August 17, 2017August 20, 2017

They know what they did. THEY KNOW! I hope Dan Quinn wakes up screaming every night at 3:28 AM, sweating in anguish over how the Falcons let down 96% of the football viewing public, with Dreamboat's stupid, ugly face as large as Godzilla standing over him, roaring in triumph. After all, TAWMMY's

We aren’t in Le-High anymore.

litre_cola - August 10, 2017August 10, 2017

Current DFO Clubhouse before the Puerto Rican money rolls in. The Commentists are all sitting around drinking their favoUrite libations and imbibing their narcotic of choice when suddenly there is a knock on the door. Through the marijuana haze MTWV peers through the window and falls back asleep. LITRE COLA :I guess

Chicago Bears 1967 Season Preview

DFO Archives

BrettFavresColonoscopy - July 25, 2017July 25, 2017

Well, sports fans, last season was quite a disappointment for the Chicago Major League Baseball club's big brothers, as they plodded their way to a 5-7-2 record, finishing a dismal 5th place in the NFL West despite nearly scoring that magical number of 17 points per game. They even lost

To Bear Down or Not To Bear Down

Team Previews

BrettFavresColonoscopy - September 1, 2016August 30, 2016

That is the question. At the risk of stating the obvious, football is awesome. The hitting, the strategy, the fresh grass underfoot as your team of choice takes the field in that late summer warmth--they all fill you with excitement, anticipation, and joy. Yet there is a key ingredient required to

Wading Toward a Repeat?

Team Previews

King Hippo - August 22, 2016August 22, 2016

Yes, it is my great pride and privilege to recap your 2017, DEFENDING SUPERB OWL L CHAMPION (nevar gets old saying that) Denver Broncos. If there has ever been a more extreme case of "playing with house money," it escapes my feeble, aged mind. Let's recap, shall we. The 2016 Donks

A Perfectly Cromulent San Diego Chargers 2016 Season Preview

Old School Zero - August 17, 2016August 16, 2016

(This preview has been brought to you by Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, Old School Zero, and sunrisesunrise) Keenan Allen: Damn. This shit again. Brandon Flowers: Yeah, tell me about it. Hell, I don’t even think Rivers has healed up from last season yet! Philip Rivers: [Limps in on crutches, most of

All roads lead to L.A.

sunrisesunrise - September 3, 2015September 3, 2015

I was too young to appreciate the Air Coryell days with Fouts, Alworth, Winslow, Joiner and Jefferson. I did however get to watch Stan Humphries and Natrone Means lead the Chargers to Super Bowl defeat against the juggernaut that was the 1994 49ers. I had the pleasure of then watching