[Note From The "Author": pursuant to a number of comments across multiple posts, CrimeBeat! will officially be a politics-free zone until things calm the fuck down. I trust that you are all (mostly) intelligent adults who understand the responsibility to keep yourselves informed and participate in the political process. I
Tag: Reverend Mayhem
CrimeBeat!: Guess Who’s Rewatching Archer Edition
Oh men. MEN! Like fetuses (feti?) experiencing the uncomprehending trauma and struggle of their own nativity, we have been pushed and squeezed and squished until we passed through the birth canal of the regular season and emerged, cold and slimy, into the pitiless bright light of the playoffs. And like
Rogue 23: A Skol Wars Story
The Banshee Screams For Buffalo Meat
Meanwhile, At The BirdMurderDome…
[EXTERIOR, Minneapolis] [Six bedraggled figures, backs stooped and all but one swathed in many layers of mismatched clothing , huddle in a doorway to try to avoid the worst of the bone-cracking wind. As the camera zooms in, it becomes clear that it is a family, with two adults and four
CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition
Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged hiatus of CrimeBeat! But fear not, sinners, for the Right Reverend is here to give you succor. (Note: sorry for the format- doing this from my phone
Better Know a Deity: Shan’Khor
It's time for another installment of Better Know a Deity. Sure, we all know the big names in the football pantheon like BLEERGH, BOLTMAN! and Al Davis' Revified Corpse. But sometimes a lesser-known god or goddess comes to the fore. (H/t to Thursday Sky Goddess). Name: Shan'Khor Nicknames: “the Merciless"; "Shankopotamus" (not
Commentist Beer Barrel: Land of the Rising Suds
Hi kids! It's your friendly neighborhood curate, Reverend Mayhem, subbing in for makeitsnow. He is currently...indisposed. So, let's get right down to it. Today, I am reviewing Hitachino Nest White Ale and Red Rice Ale from Japan. I've noticed this column trends a little heavily toward North American craft beers, with
This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update
The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week. That's your update. Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of the season so far, filled with hilarious swear words and celebrating the pleasure-pain that is the Buffalo Fan Experience. There would be some mention of the many injuries sustained (notably the
Stephen King’s The Shanking
CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition
Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it's perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I currently inhabit. I'm 35. I'm happily married and have no kids. And that's the hole in the donut for Halloween. Age 1-13: Dress up and get candy. Age
CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition
So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing