Pick Is In – A [DFO] 2016 Draft Challenge LIVE Results Post

So we’ve made it to the first major event of the 2016 NFL season, the first round of the draft is tonight! As we are reminded that coaches, general managers, and meddling owners are the real stars of this league, we will also use this event to be introduced to the latest class of well-dressed athletes who, in as soon as four years even, may be budding stars preparing to be training camp hold outs insisting on new contracts, early retirees, or simply journeymen professionals chasing their athletic dreams.

Remember about a month ago when the draft universe was upside-down? The top two picks, Tennessee and Cleveland, presumably pleased with their quarterback situations (because nothing says “nah, we’re good at QB” like having a top draft pick), were expected to kick off the draft with unsexy upgrades to their non-existent lines. Boltman and Ol’ Double-J would then get some screen time before perpetual top-five picker Jacksonville would bring aboard someone with high upside who won’t make it to the preseason without getting an injury that will land him on the season-ending IR. Also, the P*triot’s didn’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. But that didn’t matter because, with Tom Brady for 16 weeks, this team didn’t need a first round pick to get off to a hot start.

Well, now our draft universe is upside-down for other reasons. The Los Angeles Rams of Raider Nation announced that their “philosophy has always been to build through the draft” before sending six of their first seven picks over the next two years to Tennessee in exchange for the right to pick first tonight. Who will they take? Well, RAMIT insiders haven’t decided yet. Not to be outdone — by LA or their previous regime — the Philadelphia Eagles gave up eight picks to earn the right to draft whoever gets rejected by the guys who assembled a 2015 QB depth chart of Nick Foles, Case Keenum, and Sean Mannion. Laremy Tunsil, the projected top pick before Tennessee traded down, is set to lose at least $1.5 million on his rookie contract as a result of these trades. Also, the P*triot’s still don’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. Also, they lost Tom Brady for the first four weeks of the season, including their Sunday Night Football home opener where Chris and Al will have to talk about Brady being out because he’s a cheater even though they don’t want to talk about Brady’s history of cheating.

Now, for everyone who submitted on Pick Is In, tonight is also judgement day for you. That’s right, click below to open the official [DFO] Draft Challenge Prediction Board, turn on the television, and get ready to weep.
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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Unsurprised

The football gods have already graced us with a new avatar of shilldom.

With the first overall pick in the NFL Draft, the LA Rams select If Darren Rovell Was A Football Player, QB, Verizon pic.twitter.com/m3vEtsQAuE— stefan heck (@boring_as_heck) April 29, 2016

Senor Weaselo

It is #branding reincarnation.

Unsurprised

Poor little rich boy.
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Unsurprised

As an aside, Mitch’s sister in Dazed and Confused is a horrible person.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

But she was cute. That makes up for a lot.

Unsurprised

Nooooooope

Unsurprised

I wish The Americans would stop dragging along this story line. It should’ve been over by this episode, if n not the last one. We haven’t even gotten any additional gratuitous shots of Keri Russell’s ass.

Wakezilla

So, I missed the draft (it’s on repeat right now on NFL Network), and, uh, it appears Tunsil had an interesting night.

As a LOLfins fan, I can’t wait for his talents to magically diminish once he puts the Teal on his back.

Wakezilla

Also, having the draft fucking start on Thursday is stupid.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You got the steal of the draft and that goddamned traitor of a 1 season OC got a great LT to help his QB w the really hot wife

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I thought the trade up for Floyd was superfluous but didn’t dislike the actually pic. The fan reaction on the message boards for the team I occasionally check out hate it though, or a few people really hate it and are being really loud and repetitive about hating it is more accurate.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This typo bugs me because it is the type of thing I do way too much. Adding an “ly” on something. So I had to come back and correct it

actual*

WCS

I hope he gives you more production his rookie year than Kevin White (sigh) did. Hey, “TWO” rookie first-round draft picks this year!

[White tears triceps making coffee]
[[Floyd shatters right femur putting leash on dog]]

laserguru

My day.

Driving to work, phone rings, I don’t answer when I’m driving, get a message from the orthopedic surgeon’s office that we need to reschedule Saturday’s appointment until Monday morning.
That’s cool. Nothing happens in the insurance approval department on the weekends and I’m rescheduled for Monday morning.

I park the car and on the 25 steps from the parking lot to the front door of the office my left knee turned into ropa vieja. Just tore the fuck out of the last bit of remaining cartilage in the knee.

What was a tolerable pain level of 6 turns into an unbearable 8.5.

I did get the MRI tonight at 7:30 and missed the Vikings pick but I’m cool with the results.
We need a possession receiver.

This has turned from another pesky knee surgery into a bastard motherfucker that actually has me a little nervous. There’s a funky little twinge on the back outside that may even be a ligament.

As my cool-as-hell best friend and occasional girl says (not the crazy red head) “Calgon take me away!”

To which I answered Tramadol and Bulleit take me away.

Covalent Blonde

Poor kitten! I hope the Tramadol helps a smidgen.

WCS

Based ball news–

[ducks cinder block]

Dee Gordon suspended 80 games for PEDs. If Marlins fans actually existed, I’d bet they’d be pissed about this.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

::throws second cinder block to catch you off guard::

Senor Weaselo
Beerguyrob

Is it too early in the pre-pre-season to bring up cheerleaders?

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WCS

Probably not.

The Maestro

So I just got home from playing hockey and couldn’t watch anything live, but I have an extremely pressing question that needs to be answered:

Who the fuck let Zeke Elliott wear a goddamn crop top to the NFL Draft? Jesus H. Tap-Dancin’ Christ. That is just horrendous.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Jesus fucking christ. Legends of Tomorrow is joining The Flash into just being terrible for no fucking reason. God damn Birdgirl. Hoping Archer will be good when I get to it.

makeitsnowondem

makeitsnowondem

should have included Athest Tebow smdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Athest? Is that what Mayock calls the Wonderlic Cognitive Ability.

makeitsnowondem

That’s damn good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Neckbeard II; The Ingrowing.

King Hippo

Fun album to listen to when crunk and annoyed:

laserguru

I’ve said it before but bless you King Hippo.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He brought out Payton’s widow and son and still got booed, he brought a make a wish cancer kid and still got booed.

Unsurprised

I’d boo that kid, too. He’s stupid for wanting to go to the draft.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

His real crime was rooting for Denver

Senor Weaselo

New game: What would it take to not boo Goodell at the draft? I’d say peace in the Middle East is the bare minimum.

Unsurprised

Free sex robots for all for life. I like Mideast strife.

Duchess

This assault on Tinsul’s social media accounts is fascinating.

Beerguyrob

I’m just catching up on it now. All that’s missing is an anti-Semetic rant.

King Hippo

Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals are getting shut out too. Thursday 28 April 2016 is just taking a, well, hippo-sized shit on me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not to add to the detriment…but JTV died 23 years ago today.

King Hippo

oh Christ, now I have to finish the bottle of wine and play this over and over again (I was driving home from State and heard this on KNC and knew he was gone…and he was):

I had to pull over to the side of the road and everything.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can relate.

theeWeeBabySeamus

For those who don’t have any idea why my Hippo friend and I are talking about, this fellow left us 23 years ago today. Less than 2 months after this was recorded.

He wasn’t a perfect man by any stretch. But all in all, his ledger was significantly in the black in spite of what some folks might have you believe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuoVM9nm42E

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah I saw that. Weird.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Unsurprised

Today was the swearing-in ceremony for new lawyers who passed the February bar exam. I had the poor judgment to happen to look at IG today and was reminded of that. I have nothing but anger and hatred right now at everyone I know who got sworn in today. I pushed not taking it last summer because, whatever, and now I just wonder what the fucking point is of doing everything I’ve spent the last 25 years ostensibly doing to even get this close to being a lawyer. I don’t care about anything. I don’t care about anyone.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’m sorry, man. I know “everyone’s got their own path, and even when you’re walking it you may not know” isn’t a real help right now, but it is true. If you want to talk through it, DM.

Unsurprised

There’s nothing more to say.

Dick E. Phuck

I hope Jack stays healthy and tears shit up. Just don’t get drafted by a team I absolutely loathe. Like the Patriots or the Eagles.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, as my wife has never said, that went on way too long.

Good night all.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Finally over. See you guys for round 2.

Doktor Zymm

This shit is over? This shit is over. Best of the rest of the night y’all!

LeighAnne

Thanks everyone

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Seahawks actually going to make a first-round pick? It’s…it’s been so long…

WCS

Jeez, was Bruce Irvin their last first-round pick?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yup.

Horatio Cornblower

No one’s picking Jack because no one thinks he can walk down those stairs.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This guy looks like Frank Thomas ate Ron Karkovice

JustStopDude

Been sitting on the porch with the old man since I got up here. I’m visiting my parents for a day or two. Hadn’t stepped inside, just watching the draft on the TV, enjoying the weather. Tell the old man I needed to crash out and he says mom made up my old room.

Walk inside and discover my parents’ hoarding has gotten bad again. Couldn’t get the bedroom door open. I usually sleep in the tub when this happens. Bathroom is filled with cacti. So I tell the old man that I am staying a hotel. This starts a fight. I finally agree to just sleep in my car and we will have a long discussion about this in the morning.

Two things really piss me off….1) the level of denial and 2) I got multiple siblings within a 5 minutes drive from my parents and they completely ignore this shit.

Unsurprised

You need to kill your siblings and burn down your parents’ house.

JustStopDude

The Fucked up thing, walking crawling through the house, I was naturally forming the estimate on the time and cost this was going to hit me.

I’d say this is about a 7 out of 10 for my folks…so about two weeks off of work and 8 dumpster rentals. This is assuming…and this is a HUGE assumption, that I can get my old man to cooperate and not shutdown on me.

This isn’t my old man is just lazy…this is a mental health problem. It’s something that is easier to control and maintain than what my siblings are doing….which is ignore my parents suffering and just wait for me to fix this shit once a year.

Horatio Cornblower

Stay at a hotel. The only reason to sleep in your car is if you’re too hammered to drive to the hotel.

Senor Weaselo

Things not to do in your car:

1. Sleep
2. Sex (I actually got into a discussion with a friend wondering why people think that’s a good idea)

King Hippo

everybody should sex in the car ONCE. It’s a life experience thing.

Senor Weaselo

It just seems like an awkward thing logistically in terms of how much space you have. Unless you have a big car. Also, you don’t want to get the car seats dirty because people you know have to sit in them. Even if you have a blanket in your back seat.

It’s a funny story how we got to talking about it, actually…

Don T

A long talk in the morning? No thanks, I’ll sleep with the cacti.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

HOW THE SERIOUS FUCK DOES THIS VIDEO HAVE <500 VIEWS ?!?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mn8-1JpaDE

WCS

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

You can’t tell me he would be worse than ANY of the current talking heads the NFL has right now.

Beerguyrob

Each one was solid. Next, he needs to get H Jon Benjamin in and do Archer lines.

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