As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!
In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.
Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.
Enjoy the game people.
I really enjoy how far out of his way Joe Buck went to not mention Mike Pence being right in the middle of the shot in that cutaway montage.
Who he sitting with?
I’ve been waiting for the day someone runs it up on New England the way they do in their blowout victories. What I’m saying is, do not let up Falcons, cry havoc.
…C-Chrissy Tiegan is a porn star, right?
Swimsuit model.
I see the booth with Pence, Baker, and McNair in it and my brain just keeps yelling DRONE STRIKE at me over and over again until the broadcast cuts away.
SEND IN THE CAST OF HAMILTON
You know, to give him AIDS
The Patriots are creating jobs. There’s gonna be a HUGE amount of work for nurses, bandaging broken hands, and plasterers, fixing holes in walls tomorrow.
You could see a measurable uptick in the industry after the Giant’s loss, and I can only imagine this will be even bigger.
http://www.bostonglobe.com/rw//Boston/2011-2020/WebGraphics/Metro/BostonGlobe.com/2017/01/20punch/punch.gif
I will +1 this no matter how many times it gets posted.
Pence drinking a cola probably virgin.
Please God Stranger Things, make this season “The Mist” and get it right and I will love you forever.
Do you think Putin is disappointed he won’t get a second Super Bowl ring?
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, PATRIOTS FANS?!
Southie?
COUNT THA RINGSSS
/chugs natty lite
/assaults toddler in Falcons jersey
FACK YOU MAHKY MAHK!!
My balls are swollen with joy
Melissa McCarthy became Kevin James so fast, I hardly noticed.
I used to hate Melissa McCarthy, but then I watched SNL last night.
I’m ashamed to admit I dug that Kia commercial/.
Don’t be, it was funny as hell.
Worcester is a smoking crater. Quinzee has fallen. The riot is now dangerously large and pushing South.
Or as they say in Detroit…Tuesday.
“Quinzee Has Fallen” is totally getting a movie parody post this week
It’s ok Katie. You still have your magic
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Katie-Nolan-GIF-018.gif
Who has it worse? Katie Nolan or a supermodel? Part of me thinks it’s Nolan
In terms of who has creepy stalkers
Katie, only because I think we could be best friends.
Something something General Sherman something something
Guys guys guys at least we can all agree that this might be the best performance by a QB in a Super Bowl down by 25 points. Think about it if it weren’t for the WR’s not making plays and-and an extremely unlikely interception that was just a really good play and in no way a bad pass. Tom Brady is definitely the MVP of the game so far right?
I didn’t realize I could get any more joy from that gif of him being punched in the face. After seeing this, though, I think it just doubled. Thanks.
Did you know that it happened again? Just a few days after
There once was a team from New England
Who though they could do no thing bad
As they flubbed it away
The country did say
FUCK YOU IN FUCKING NEW ENGLAND
Kinda cheating, but I like it
Dear New England, fucking blow me
Wooooool! Eugene Robinson’s revenge is happening tonight!
This is so wonderful.
EAT SHIT MASSHOLES!
Oh holy fuck yes!
Best officiated Superb Owl in recent history?
http://kingofwallpapers.com/happy-images/happy-images-021.jpg
PI called on the Pats?
Pass interference? On New England? Praise be to BLEERGH!
HAIL BLEERGH
The littlest bit of hope in the darkness…..
So do any of these refs live to see their next birthdays?
Dorito Dink wasn’t on the payroll just to deflate balls…
This is all simply wonderful. Twitter is having a joyous time, save for Fek, who appears to be trying to figure out why a gillette razor can’t cut through his wrist
So, I could have sworn he was a Bears fan but when the Pats play he tweets nonstop about them. Did I miss his actual fandom or something?
Maybe he’s being controlled. IF YOU ARE NOT FREE TO TALK, LAPSE INTO KLINGON FEK!
I have to say this is going a lot better than the last Atlanta championship appearance.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/167/408/58d.gif
But he’s a mooslim!
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2964495.1486274365!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/snl5n-2-web.jpg
This Taylor Gabriel, I call Peter Gabriel because that catch was BIG TIME
YOU CAN SANU IT!
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmnn.
It appears the phrase “I can only get so erect” is a god damn lie.
Butler looked like he was trying to flop for an opi
Can somebody say, “Schadenfreude”?
Trevor! Trump let you back in the country?
Wrasslin’s been stressing me out, anything that’s not laying down trying to sleep feels like a chore.
Hooooly shit that move by Gab!
Nice!
Hope you are all well. This could be great.
I like this game.
So is that Bud commercial even slightly true?
It is brewed in St Louis.
Kind of outdated considering Bud is now just a subsidiary of ImBev
ImBev sounds SUSPICIOUSLY like a front for InGen.
See, immigration is good when they make beer (Busch) or open a brothel (Drumpf)
What’s this about two dropped balls?
http://statici.behindthevoiceactors.com/behindthevoiceactors/_img/chars/squeaky-voiced-teen-family-guy-8.74.jpg
“I TOLD YOU BILL NYE COULD BE BOUGHT!”
-My climate-change-denier uncle