Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

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I really enjoy how far out of his way Joe Buck went to not mention Mike Pence being right in the middle of the shot in that cutaway montage.

Wakezilla

Who he sitting with?

Senor Weaselo

I’ve been waiting for the day someone runs it up on New England the way they do in their blowout victories. What I’m saying is, do not let up Falcons, cry havoc.

herodotus450

…C-Chrissy Tiegan is a porn star, right?

Wakezilla

Swimsuit model.

makeitsnowondem

I see the booth with Pence, Baker, and McNair in it and my brain just keeps yelling DRONE STRIKE at me over and over again until the broadcast cuts away.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SEND IN THE CAST OF HAMILTON

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know, to give him AIDS

Doktor Zymm

The Patriots are creating jobs. There’s gonna be a HUGE amount of work for nurses, bandaging broken hands, and plasterers, fixing holes in walls tomorrow.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

You could see a measurable uptick in the industry after the Giant’s loss, and I can only imagine this will be even bigger.

Dunstan

I will +1 this no matter how many times it gets posted.

Recovery Whiskey

Pence drinking a cola probably virgin.

entropy

Please God Stranger Things, make this season “The Mist” and get it right and I will love you forever.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do you think Putin is disappointed he won’t get a second Super Bowl ring?

Redshirt

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, PATRIOTS FANS?!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Southie?

Trevor Semen

COUNT THA RINGSSS
/chugs natty lite
/assaults toddler in Falcons jersey

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

FACK YOU MAHKY MAHK!!

jjfozz

My balls are swollen with joy

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Melissa McCarthy became Kevin James so fast, I hardly noticed.

Redshirt

I used to hate Melissa McCarthy, but then I watched SNL last night.

Romonobyl

I’m ashamed to admit I dug that Kia commercial/.

makeitsnowondem

Don’t be, it was funny as hell.

entropy

Worcester is a smoking crater. Quinzee has fallen. The riot is now dangerously large and pushing South.

Romonobyl

Or as they say in Detroit…Tuesday.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Quinzee Has Fallen” is totally getting a movie parody post this week

Spur
Wakezilla

Who has it worse? Katie Nolan or a supermodel? Part of me thinks it’s Nolan

Wakezilla

In terms of who has creepy stalkers

Mother Puncher

Katie, only because I think we could be best friends.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Something something General Sherman something something

Duchess

Guys guys guys at least we can all agree that this might be the best performance by a QB in a Super Bowl down by 25 points. Think about it if it weren’t for the WR’s not making plays and-and an extremely unlikely interception that was just a really good play and in no way a bad pass. Tom Brady is definitely the MVP of the game so far right?

...

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blackroseMD1

I didn’t realize I could get any more joy from that gif of him being punched in the face. After seeing this, though, I think it just doubled. Thanks.

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Trevor Semen

Did you know that it happened again? Just a few days after

Doktor Zymm

There once was a team from New England
Who though they could do no thing bad
As they flubbed it away
The country did say
FUCK YOU IN FUCKING NEW ENGLAND

Kinda cheating, but I like it

jjfozz

Dear New England, fucking blow me

Wakezilla

Wooooool! Eugene Robinson’s revenge is happening tonight!

WCS

This is so wonderful.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

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Spur

EAT SHIT MASSHOLES!

laserguru

Oh holy fuck yes!

Romonobyl

Best officiated Superb Owl in recent history?

Dunstan

PI called on the Pats?

Senor Weaselo

Pass interference? On New England? Praise be to BLEERGH!

Old School Zero

HAIL BLEERGH

King Hippo

The littlest bit of hope in the darkness…..

Beastmode Ate My Baby

So do any of these refs live to see their next birthdays?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dorito Dink wasn’t on the payroll just to deflate balls…

Gratliff

This is all simply wonderful. Twitter is having a joyous time, save for Fek, who appears to be trying to figure out why a gillette razor can’t cut through his wrist

...

So, I could have sworn he was a Bears fan but when the Pats play he tweets nonstop about them. Did I miss his actual fandom or something?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Maybe he’s being controlled. IF YOU ARE NOT FREE TO TALK, LAPSE INTO KLINGON FEK!

Senor Weaselo

I have to say this is going a lot better than the last Atlanta championship appearance.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/167/408/58d.gif

laserguru

But he’s a mooslim!

Shogun Marcus

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Wakezilla

This Taylor Gabriel, I call Peter Gabriel because that catch was BIG TIME

Doktor Zymm

YOU CAN SANU IT!

entropy

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmnn.

It appears the phrase “I can only get so erect” is a god damn lie.

Mother Puncher

Butler looked like he was trying to flop for an opi

Trevor Semen

Can somebody say, “Schadenfreude”?

herodotus450

Trevor! Trump let you back in the country?

Trevor Semen

Wrasslin’s been stressing me out, anything that’s not laying down trying to sleep feels like a chore.

Spur

Hooooly shit that move by Gab!

laserguru

Nice!

litre_cola

Hope you are all well. This could be great.

Doktor Zymm

I like this game.

Spur

So is that Bud commercial even slightly true?

entropy

It is brewed in St Louis.

Recovery Whiskey

Kind of outdated considering Bud is now just a subsidiary of ImBev

herodotus450

ImBev sounds SUSPICIOUSLY like a front for InGen.

Recovery Whiskey

See, immigration is good when they make beer (Busch) or open a brothel (Drumpf)

JerBear50
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“I TOLD YOU BILL NYE COULD BE BOUGHT!”

-My climate-change-denier uncle

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