Greetings early risers!
Coffee? Check.
Morning wake and bake? It is Saturday. Check.
JV Footy? Nope.
Lesser footy? Check.
We gather here today for lesser footy only as JV footy has ended until bowl season and that schedule is spread out for a month or so. Normally King Hippo is your Saturday morning correspondent but for the next little while Ballsofsteelandfury, Don T and I will be doing the best that we can to fill in.
I do have a question. How the hell does Don T and the rest of Puerto Rico not have power yet?????? If Wyoming didn’t have power this long don’t you think we would hear all about it and some one would fix it????????
Let’s see what we have on the docket for the day!
The early game is a good old fashioned London derby with dirty Russian money against the Olympic Stadium Hammers. West Ham is in danger of relegation this season and having Chelsea visiting will not help their cause. I hate Chelsea because I have to as I am a Fulham supporter. They are Southwest neighboUrs but their stadium is actually in Fulham. I hope they lose, but they won’t as the Hammers are not in their class.
The fat of the pig is at 9 am DFO time and it features a big bag of mediocrity featuring The Moose Hornets v Burnley who both have definitely surprised this season as I figured that they would be in the relegation zone. The Palace in Crystal v Bournemouth is a match that you would have to pay me to watch on TV. Huddersfield v the Seagulls in a fixture of two of the promoted teams from last year. I am happy for both clubs but in my heart of hearts they can go to hell as Fulham should be up. Next if you haven’t slept all night how does a little Swansea v West Brom grab you? You will be asleep in no time! In the only match I will be watching we have Spurs v Stoke City which always tends to be a rough game with the Potters “argy-bargy” tactics slowing the game down and turning it into a set piece competition. This is always a tough fixture for top sides as Stoke is always a challenge to best.
The afternoon game could be entertaining with Foxy Footy visiting Newcastle. I have said this in the past but Newcastle is the best city to party in England. If you have ever gotten the chance to watch Geordie Shore you will know that it is an anthropological study into the mating ritual of sun deprived, alcoholic, orange skinned locals.
None of these really matter as everyone who watches English futbol is looking forward to Sunday. Arsenal v Southampton! Ok, hat is definitely not the game who a mild observer would be interested in, keep moving. Next up is the Merseyside derby in Liverpool which I will be definitely watching. I do hope that the Toffees can suppress the formidable Liverpool attack. I know our resident Everton supporter will be screaming at the tv, even though he hates their new manager and basically wants to set fire to the ownership box at Goodison Park.
After slugging through all of those mediocre games we get to the Manchester derby! I am really looking forward to this and have been all week. Part of me would like Jose and The Red Devils to pull this out so at least the rest of the season is interesting howevah that club and their supporters are so deplorable that I would much rather have them playing in the “lowly” Europa League like last year. In our preview Hippo and I decided that Man City would be the lesser of all of the evils to come out on top. So far through the season they are cutting their competition into ribbons.
In Scottish futbol we have the Catholic derby where Hibs and Celtic meet up. Yes when they play the Protestant teams there are street wars, but it also happens when these two meet as the Glasgow v Edinburgh rivalry is alive and well.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZthGdjGX0E]
Everybody be well and enjoy your day sans JV footy.
Totally forgot that the MLS final is today as well. Toronto against ex-Fulham player Clint Dempsey. Same 2 teams as last year, in Toronto where it is quite cold. I watched last years final which ended on penalty kicks and the game was fantastic. I most definitely will be watching, the cwords in Toronto are fantastic. I have been to 5 different cities for MLS and Seattle is by far the best, followed by the lunatic hipsters in Portland but I easily got the drunkest in Toronto with complete strangers.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2lwKrQYjtw]
Thanks fer the shoutout, coUla. You lnow how it is: less bitchin’, more doing. Though there’s little us civilians can do for a power grid. So that just leaves complaining. Blech—there; anger expressed.
ALTHOUGH, DirecTV reps are calling me to collect on the Sunday Ticket package. Ha. I’m gonna keep condescendingly disassembling their “reasons”—until it gets boring. Then, and only then, I’ll go full JSD.
Well lookit you, BC.
Nicely done. My apologies for doubting your resolve.
And of course….Duck Fook.
I love BC hoops now, somebody gave Zodiac Killer’s twin a black eye!
Hehehehehe
BC sure has a ferociously ugly student body.
UBC does not. Sweet jesus that campus is gorgeous and full of beautiful people.
Looks like Dook is actually gon’ lose. 15 seconds down 4, I can stomach watching THAT
Emilio Estevez IS Billy The Kid in “Young Ones” Oh my.
Foxes up 2-1 on Barcodes is nice
We can have nice things Hippo!!!!
Fulham beat Brummy 1-0! I will take it!
I want Everton to survive by 1 point or goal differential thanks to a fluke and nothing of their own doing on the last day. That would be a nice thing to me.
Huzzah for WHITES!!
#BitterBlue
Trust me when I say this you want to be safe. I went through a great escape and relegation, it totally sucks no matter how much I hated Martin Jol, Felix Magath, Mark Hughes.
I want my team’s soul back. Seriously, I’ve been having Everton dreams every night, it’s like missing a part of my body. But I cannot and will not support them in any way under this crooked charlatan. It is 100% against true Evertonian values.
Was Repo Man’s “not in the face!” a shout-out to Blazing Saddles? I don’t know the origin of that.
/waits for the porn jokes to flow
I always thought they were just mocking “pretty boys.”
to alleviate the growing sense of panic (in case anyone has as bad as me) – NFL Saturday next week and 23 December. We don’t get a Shitsmas Eve night game, which is all NO SMIRE, but two games on Shitsmas proper is nice for those of us who (rightly) don’t recognize teh Association.
Today’s Master Plan: Drink a bit, eat a lot of egg salad, pass out and die in my sleep from the toxic fumes of egg farts. I’m currently in phase 2.
Does Mrs. Scotchy have her own bedroom yet??
She’s out at the lake. For her own good.
They gotz chickens in Canadia, or do you have to have the eggs flown in?
I’m assuming moose eggs??
Wow. I feel even worse for Mrs. Scotchy now.
Penguin eggs..
Nice. I bet those farts smell like lavender and honeysuckle.
(i weirdly like penguins….no not like that)
Okay. Fuck this. Between pedophile priests and asshole cops (and a twofer in that one of my parish’s pedo priests was also the fucking police chaplain), I’m going to log off for a while before this gets even worse.
I don’t think any of us intended this to be an argument, fwiw. Speaking only for myself, I was only offering a different point of view. Apologies if it came across otherwise.
We’re all human beings (even cops). Some bad, some good.
and I would agree it’s MOAR bad than general population, I just think there are ways to fix, and I almost never see things in black and white like that.
/does NOT apply to Paedo State
Yes, admittedly the profession does often attract a certain personality type.
Think I might head down to the brewery today. They’re doing a big ass barrel aged bottle release. Two of their stouts and a barley wine. Plus my godson and his wife are supposed to be there and I haven’t seen them in awhile.
Can’t be real. That’s not a prepubescent boy.
well…we can’t see all the way up the kilt now, can we??
Hey pal! He’s putting his illegitimate daughter through college with collection plate money AND teaching her the value of good hard work.
Gingers can be HOT!
Rant of the Day…
So, I was talking to asshole vegan kid about demographics and Demmycratic politics (she is evidencing interest in something positive, huzzah) and we were talking about Asians generally and the Indian-American community in Morrisville, and its role cementing the town’s sharp left turn.
I said, you know, of course that Indians are Asians – she gives me a blank look. “Cause India is part of Asia. Where did YOU think it was?”
“I dunno? Thought it was its own continent.”
(exasperated sigh) “Only Australia is like that, and even as a continent, it includes New Zealand. There are only 7 continents…”
(interrupts, sure she has me licked) “Okay then, NAME them!”
“Jesus, you think that’s hard? The fuck they teach you, anyway?” (she’s a mostly-A student, been told she could even get into NC State, which is hard to do nowadays)
After rattling them off, I do acknowledge that the phrase “Indian subcontinent” is in frequent use, so that is a mild excuse for such profound ignorance.
But Jesus Tapdancing Christ, I had a world atlas I started reading at age 4, peppering my parents with questions as to whether each nation was commie or free. And that was sans benefit of cable teevee or internet. AM I WRONG HERE??
asshole vegan
No need to be redundant.
I have no problem with people who don’t eat meat, just the ones who are assholes about it. Meat eaters that are assholes about that too. Maybe just assholes.
Indian subcontinent gives her partial credit.
Also, physical features, so really she gets 3/4 credit which trumps you.
Missing an entire syllable doesn’t give you shit.
Yes, odd that now days I cut slack to people who didn’t vote for Trump on behavior or lack of common knowledge that used to to irritate me, well more.
No.
We’re fucked sideways.
You could blow her mind discussing native Americans and the crossing of the Bering land mass.
Wait! We’re Asian?
Whoa!
Fuck.
Accurate.
Well, naturally.
Da police are ok, if you’re white, and live in an upper middle class area where they’ve had ample sensitivity and mental health training and are paid enough to not be high school bullies with a persecution complex.
So…yeah. Fuck most of ’em.
Fuck that. They are all bastards. Every single one.
What you are describing DOES NOT FUCKING EXIST.
Actually, while I have had some bad experiences with cops, even as a privileged white male…I’ve had some positive ones too. They’re actually not all bastards, but the ones who are put the rest in a bad light as well.
http://abc11.com/hillsborough-police-arrest-then-help-shoplifting-mom/2610429/
Dude. No.
Dude. Yes. I prefer to judge the individual, not malign the group.
Good for you.
Yes, it is actually. That way I don’t take a shitty attitude into an interaction with them and cause them to point it back at me.
Idiotic generalizations are the way of the internet….. the way of the world. It is an easy way out and why we can slip comfortably into tribalism.
Like I’ve told my kids – treat every cop like he’s gonna be one of the good ones. Yes, sir, no ma’am. If he’s one of the bad ones…you don’t want to trigger anything, so the same behaviour is called for. All you can control is what you do. And we call lawyers as needed later.
No, it does. My asshole teenagers have been VERY LUCKY in their encounters with the Apex PD, and especially my oldest (who has borderline personality disorder and flipped out on this kid she had a crush on – who turned out to be a gay dude – and called the cops because she was mentioning suicide).
Had this happened in the bumfuck part of the state, they would have restrained her, removed me from the house, and hauled her off to Holly Hill (the state hospital) for 30 days. Instead, a trained team came over, one cop talked to me, another calmed her down and talked to her very rationally and assessed the situation.
It was only a year later, through the local chapter of NAMI, that I found out that Apex was especially great with training and receptive to mental health advocacy suggestions, etc.
We can have better policing, we just don’t want to pay for it, and/or take on the good ol’ boy network in place most places.
Also, I have no doubt my younger twins got the benefit of the doubt from being well-mannered white kids. The white part is something we need to fix (and is less of an issue in Apex than most places, it is pretty racially balanced, and one of the policemen we encountered was African-American, and a State Trooper – the State Troopers have undergone a series of reforms here and are much, much better now), but the well-mannered comes from what I have taught, thank goodness.
Look at small cities in growing, diverse places with decently progressive (or at least moderate) politics, and there’s at least a chance. I live where I live in no small part based on that. I don’t want to be in fear of local law enforcement.
The dumb guy from “Friends” has been rolled out to *star* in another sitcom?
/Only on CBS
Oh really?
Diallo and his 44″ vertical makes for entertaining ball.
“Not on my watch.” [files lawsuit]
-LaVar Ball
I had no idea who LaVar Ball was before his kid got drafted. I wish I still didnt know who the fuck he is.
He’s sending his kids off to Europe to play-gird your loins for another international incident.
They’re victims of an international organ harvesting ring?
You spelled ‘perpetrators’ incorrectly.
Was gonna give Kentucky shit for scheduling a cupcake like Monmouth then I remembered what Cuse has done for the last forty years or so.
UCONN needed a late run to squeak by Monmouth, then lost to Cuse by 9. You should be fine.
BC hangin’ in with Duke so far. It’s cute how they think they have a shot.
Just turned it on. We can have hope! Or else all is lost
K’s head gonna go ‘splodey soon.
I’d love to be in that locker room at halftime.
12:20? Otherwise known as scotch o’clock.
What a coincidence!!! Turns out high noon was Vodka o’ clock ’round here.
And beer o’ clock is coming up fast.
Allegedly.
Did not know there was a Fargodome.
UCLA/Michigan? This isn’t the early/mid-90’s programmers.
did Alford and/or Beilein get fired yet? If no, tell ’em Hippo sez they suck.
LMAO
Both North & South Dakota State are YUGE favorites today (-20 vs Wofford & -19.5 vs New Hampshire, respectively) in what I assume are playoff games. No bad weather in the forecast. Either of the underdogs worth a shit?
No. Then again I don’t know much about N. or S. Dakota State either.
Wofford looks live so far.
I’m totally out of touch with FCS this year to be honest.
you lookin’ to get in on some 1-AAction? That’s like betting coin flips (PRO TIP: tails or GTFO) so I am patiently waiting on Sunday and the bowl bets I made last weekend.
[holds up stump of ex-pinkie finger]
Oh, I KNOW about betting on coin flips…
These two goats really seem interested in what Corso is saying. I think he’s finally found someone who understands the words which fly out of his talkhole. Good for him.
/slightly off-topic, I was talking to a young office clerk at work last week
Her: Yeah, I’d be curious to try frog legs.
Me: Yeah, me too-I’ve tried some maybe odd things like alligator and shark.
Her: I’ve tried shark too!
Me: Goat…
Her: (incredulously) GOAT!? GOAT!?
/she’s tried shark but goat is a bridge too far? wtf?
Yes, that is rather odd. Maybe she thinks goats are too cute?
If that’s the case, she’d probably come at me with scissors if I mentioned lamb.
Goat curry is fantastic.
There is a hole-in-the-wall Caribbean place off Besserer Street in Ottawa that makes awesome goat curry.
Birria is a gift from the gods. And Jamaican goat curry is amazing.
Now I want lamb.
“BRING ME ALL THE DOE-EYED ANIMALS TO EAT!”
Fulham won? The end is coming
…
Too easy
Jesus. Spurs look great here! Also, WEST HAM!!!
Balls: If you like that ass jiggle below, you’ll love today’s Love Advent video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAnGcAKWlqs
Oh, that’s spectacular
Even though that’s a beginner level magic trick (I guess it is) and from this angle I can see the card, that still looks pretty impressive. The monkey was impressed.
I think the baboon wanted to take his face off.
Something I’d be in favor of, fwiw.
Yes, I have a huge problem with people who feel the need to fuck around with animals in captivity just to make themselves feel superior and have often told them to stop that shit.
I’m all in favor of animals killing people.
Is doing a simple sleight-of-hand trick really “fucking with” a monkey? That seemed like the only interesting thing it’s seen in a month. I’ve seen videos of this same thing done in front of dogs, and they easily figure it out when shown but their first reaction is priceless.
I hate cruelty to animals in any way and would never post anything that was, but this doesn’t impress me as cruel at all. Also, I know it’s an ape but monkey is a funnier word and I’m just here for the comedy.
On the plus side, if the early morning games are dogs, you can always check out Barcelona/Villareal
THIS REAL MADRID, I CALL THE DOñANA DISASTER BECAUSE THEY ARE DESTROYING SEVILLA
Oh, that’s good.
It is either snowing outside or that’s bits of baseball due to the potential Stanton deal that I still don’t know why/how that’s going to work position-wise.
Stanton-Judge-Gardner rotate through the corner OF positions with a healthy dollop of DH among at least Stanton and Judge.
Yeah, I’m not sure about that either. I can see Gardner getting moved as part of a package for a pitcher. He’s got a $17 million salary and the Yankees are apparently determined to get under the cap even with Stanton.
I feel so terrible for you guys that you have too many superstars to play them all at the same time. It must be so difficult to be a Yanks fan.
You’ll never know the hell I’ve experienced, not knowing the joy of a World Series championship since 2009, and only 7 total in my life time.
Truly my life is hell.
I’ve got three (though technically I was in utero for the first) but things have been tough since ’83.
Trade Judge to Cards for pitching PROBLEM SOLVED
Gollllllllllllllllllllll
1-0 Burnley.
Burnley is now on the power-play for the next 48 minutes after a vicious red card.
What games are we watching?
All of them. Plus some Danish footy and some Swedish hockey
Have you seen Elias Petterson play this year? I hear he’s destroying all kinds of records this year
Kid is tearing it up. Though I’ve been mostly paying attention to Frolunda and Lias Andersson
Tottenham game and Madrid v Sevilla
4-0 in the 38th minute?!? WTF?
Somebody’s getting relegated.
I didn’t say I liked the result!
Morning. Lady BFC signed us up to do some volunteer work this morning, so I’m heading to the library shortly. Let’s hope they have beer.
When did you get married?
I have a special talent for acting married without getting married.
that’s good anti-hustle!!
Wait — what can you do at the library? That sounds like my kind of volunteering.
Anti book burning patrol?
We signed up to help staff some kind of tech fair. They constantly need people to read to kids and do random shit though.
So they entice the kids with beer?
If not I’m sure you can find material to learn how to make it.
If the library has beer, I want in on that!
Pachuca won and booby girl Pachuca fan in Abu Dhabi is excited on my tv.
Club World Championship anyone?
Pachuca is winning 1-0 in extra time…
Is that a team of Pokemon? Someone wake up Weaselo.
I got to sleep in until 10 because I subbed out teaching to play a double Nutcracker. So this better be important!
I gotcha.
Thank you, kind sir!
Catch her Weaselo catch her!!
Oh, she looks like she’d be worth a few grey hairs.
Double Nutcracker? Usually you have to pay extra for that.
/right tWBS?
This made me laugh.
Also…I’m not saying a thing.
😛
Who’s excited for all that high-kicking action!?!?
Love the way the butt jiggles at the end.
Bigger: https://gfycat.com/CleverSilkyDesertpupfish
“…for the next little while Ballsofsteelandfury, Don T and I will be doing the best that we can to fill in.”
Let me know if you guys need a hand.
Sure! Don T may not have power back in 2 weeks, unless he goes to the Burger King again!
Sounds good!
This wasn’t a phrasing joke?
Did someone go full JPP in Vegas?
I still have all my digits.
Morning all! Decilitre slept til 8 am! It is a festivus miracle. Who wants to wrestle?
Careful there, isn’t some playful wrestling how this whole Decilitre thing got started?
Don’t follow soccer but was looking for a new TV online. Is like a grand a floor for a 60″+ SMRT tv? I feel like the Mrs and I bought ours a few years back and it was like a grand. So what’s the deal? Those babies should be like $400 by now!
I think they are closer to $500 than a grand. The latest thing is 4K and UHD meaning you should be able to pick up a normal HD TV for cheap.
I just don’t know if I can live with 55″, you know? I mean, that’s a drastic deduct in appreciating 75 six-second commercials during NFL games…
I have like a 37-40″ and that does me just fine and dandy. Of course, being a proud, minimalist recluse, I don’t entertain.
I don’t entertain. This is for my office. But since this will soon be only recluse when the baby arrives, I gotta go big.
Plus, you know, gaming.
.
“Wow! FOUR INCHES!”
— Deanna Favre
my nod to reclusivity (plus aging eyes) was to get an equally big teevee box for the bedroom.
One word: porn
Yeah, no.
http://static4.businessinsider.com/image/561e93eb9dd7cc22008c1d2e-1200-900/20151014_prices_bi.png
TVs have dropped so much over the years for a verity of reasons; the stuff they make constant money off of has gone up.
Damit. Chelsea lossess……… grrrrrrrr
This pleases me.
stoppage time – as much as Chelski need
40 seconds to HAMMERTIME!!!!
That Dour Ginger Cunt did it!!
wunderbar preview! And it’s worked. Dour Ginger cunt Moyes is beating Chelski.
One correction, I won’t watch one lousy second of tomorrow’s DARR-bee. I will wear black instead of blue. Motherfuckers, taking this from me.
There’s a movie on E! right now about a wedding planner turned amateur detective. She’s investigating the mysterious death of somebody and a kidnapping as well. The name of this lark is…Wedding Planner Mystery
Looks like it’s a basketball day for me. Syracuse is gonna take Colgate to the (teeth) cleaners today.
Who should I support for lesser footy? I can get all the PL games at work, and I feel like I should support someone.
I hear the Ladybugs are a good team, get no respect though.
Their librul stance on trans players has caused problems for the league.
The Moose Hornets need MOAR love, though a P*ts fan is justified in picking the Redshite.
I cant pick United, I can’t be that evil.
Redshite = Liverpool (owned by Fenway Sports Group)
Manure = United
know yo’ pejoratives
Do you like 4th place? Do you like teams that win more than they lose, but never when it really counts? Enjoy a decent offense with a defense best described as “incoherent”?
Allow me to send you some brochures on Arsenal.
Arsenal or the Ice Giants?
Athletic Bilbao
Those boys can really take a cleat to the face. Oh, wait. This is Atletico Madrid. Still, this is brutal.
https://gfycat.com/AcceptableElatedGreendarnerdragonfly
That’s Diego Godín, captain of Uruguay. Love in eyes emoji.
If I were to choose again I would probably take Tottenham or arsenal. Never good enough to win it all, in London so you could go to matches, and are regularly in europe.
I’m leaning towards Tottenham or Foxy Footy
Foxy footy had their moment, pus Tottenham is building a new stadium. Trust me when I say this the old one was the worst that I have ever been to, and I have been to 2nd division games in Portugal.
Maybe I’ll go see Tottenham’s new stadium when it’s done. I want to go to a PL game, they look like a lot of fun.
For atmosphere, the best I have ever been to is in Germany no questions asked. The clubs are all majority supporter owned and every venue is fantastic. I recommend heading on a Ryanair flight down there.
I’m plotting a London trip in April, I could be talked into taking a day or 2 and spending it in Germany
The question should be “Who should I HATE!?!?”
Stan Kroenke owns Arsenal, so my initial assumption is Arsenal.
Or Manchester United because it seems like the Dallas Cowboys of bandwagon fandoms. That may be my age showing because that seemed to be a thing more in the nineties and early 2000s. I could swear Arsenal actually holds that spot now.
Which is the team in Northern Ireland that those filthy prod bastard unionists support? That one, because fuck those assholes.
There are 2 boats a weekend that are from Belfast to Stranraer for Ranger and Celtic. The psychos can nae even taek the boat together.
Celtic and Hibernian are Catholic
Rangers and Hearts of Midlothian are protestant.
It would be a shame if that Rangers boat sank.