Sunday Footy Finals Open Thread

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We have TWO scintillating Championship games on tap for your viewing pleasure today. First up:

Euro 2024

Spain v England

All the English are banging on about Bringing It Home and all that shit but the Scots, Welsh, Irish, and pretty much every country that was conquered or harassed by the English is rooting for Spain.

Interesting side note: I am in a pool with friends where we were assigned teams randomly and accumulated points as they won games. Nice meals are at stake. If England wins, I get to pick the restaurant and my friend pays for the meal. If Spain wins, he picks the restaurant and my other friend pays for the meal.

Go Spain!

Copa América

Argentina v Colombia

In a similar way to the Euro, the only ones not rooting for Colombia are Argentines. They already won the World Cup, we don’t need them to be Copa Champions AT THE SAME TIME. God, they would be even more insufferable than they already are.

Interesting side note 2: We also did a pool for the Copa and I’ve already wrapped that up. We also did a Nassau-style wager where we add up the points for both competitions and determine an overall winner. The result of that hinges on the Euro final.

Again, Go Spain!

Who are you rooting for?

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook

Here’s a still life of my studio desktop.

The signet ring was my father’s from the Berlin Airlift, where he was stationed at Tempelhof AFB in Berlin. The ring is made from melted down shell casings, the only metal that Berlin jewelers had to work with.

It sits in a brass ring from a vintage carousel on Martha’s Vineyard, MA. I wasn’t supposed to keep it but I did.

Behind are stacks of various silver dollars and quarters I keep for fun. None are collectible but I like them.

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Brick Meathook

This is the first time in my life I’ve ever watched an entire soccer game.

TheRevanchist

Always good to expand your horizons. Come for Shakira and stay for the Messi.

Brick Meathook

Actually I skipped the halftime show, so I still have no idea who Shakira is, although I’ve heard of her. Didn’t she do beer commercials?

WCS

Trump is going to award himself a Purple Heart, Silver Star, and Medal of Honor. Anyone who says that’s inane will be cast out as unAmerican.

Redshirt

How about “insane”? Can I call him insane?

WCS

Both words equally apply.

Senor Weaselo

That’s why I disagree with those who say this will be the last July 4th. Anyone who does not have at least three flags out (the American flag and multiple Party flags) on July 4th will be sent to Gitmo for being un-American.

Redshirt

I’m looking forward to watching the Vietnam Memorial be razed because its, and I’m quoting the President, its full of the names of losers.

WCS

Those bone spurs got him out of having to be with those losers.

rockingdog

Argentina wins! 🇦🇷
Back-to-back-to back!
2 Copa America wins with a World Cup win in between!

Thatssss Rocking!

rockingdog

Curtain call for DiMaria!
Argentina fans are Rockingggg!

WCS

I really do not enjoy overdose situations.

how’s the game?

Mr. Ayo

Well no one is dying or overdosed

Redshirt

Sorry to hear that. You’re doing the work of angels. Okay, archangels? Devils, but reformed devils?

Whatever you are, you’re doing good.

rockingdog

Yoooooo!
Turnover by Columbia then Martinez and it’s a great finish for Argentina!!!! 💪

That was Rocking!!!! ⚽️

SonOfSpam

Aim for the goalie’s face. Always works out.

Senor Weaselo

Unless it’s Scott Sterling.

Mr. Ayo

Argies!

Wakezilla

Time for Colombia to pull the goalie

rockingdog

Last funny:

🐕

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Brick Meathook
blaxabbath

There is a Buddy’s like right across the street from my hotel.

Brick Meathook

That Vernor’s Ginger Soda is sort of the local favorite pairing

https://ibb.co/hgQLG8k

SonOfSpam

(haven’t been here all weekend, better say something witty to impress everyone)

Looks like t he Copa final is no longer Messi

(swish!)

rockingdog
Senor Weaselo

A nation reared its head and exclaimed, “Oh, Falklands!”

Redshirt

Trump rewrites Republican convention speech to focus on unity not Biden – Washington Examiner

Gott im Himmel, he almost sounds Presidential. He almost sounds human. Let’s see if it lasts, also lets see how the mob takes it. Just because Dr. Frankenstein is playing the soothing music just mean the monster will calm down.

Also, whoever called this “Frankenstein Junior” instead of “Young Frankenstein” is now my mortal enemy.

Frankenstein Junior (youtube.com)

WCS

It would honestly be just hilarious if this brush with Fate converts him into a sudden pacifist, and just completely blows off all the 2A crezziness and swears to outlaw assault rifles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t wait for the networks to credulously exclaim “he’s changed, he’s really changed, that whole experience changed him” only for him to revert to the same stochastic terrorism bullshit within a week.

SonOfSpam

“Today is the day Trump became Presidential” is a-comin

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And completely ignore the last 9+ years of threats and direct and indirect calls for violence. Like a CW vampire villain that killed a dozen honor society students two weeks ago but had a change of heart and granted their nemesis mercy so they’re one of the good guys now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes.

Dunstan

I remember Heroes pulled that shit, too. Like, “a lot of our audience thinks Zach Quinto is hawt, so can we keep Sylar around and ignore the whole killing people and slicing them up thing?”

Redshirt

DS9 tried that with Gul Dukat. Its hard to turn Space Hilter babyface.

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t that just the entirety of Pretty Little Liars? I mean Hermana Weaselo tried to explain it to me, but she miscalculated whether I gave a damn.

Last edited 4 months ago by Senor Weaselo
WCS

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Unsurprised

The mainstream media pulled that horseshit the first time he bombed Syria.

Senor Weaselo

I give it halfway through the nomination speech.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just like when he tried to encourage the redhats to get the vaccine. They started booing, so he changed his tune instantly. It’s the RNC, so the crowd will all be on the same page and applaud where appropriate, but he needs some nebulous “enemy” to “fight” against. Without that, the mob will change the channel in short order.

WCS

It’s quite literally the only play they know how to operate.

rockingdog

Oh shit!
Messi got sub’d out?

What happened?!?!?
That doesn’t seem rocking…

Mr. Ayo

That growing issue reared it’s short head again and wouldn’t be denied.

Much like Lowratio when he’s horned up.

Horatio Cornblower

“Argentine bench shouting about something.”

I mean, I just assume this is happening throughout the entire game, no need to announce it.

WCS

Is CNN interested in my bowel movements from earlier? Those were worth shouting something about.

Game Time Decision

Maybe more fiber if you need to shout it out

TheRevanchist

The lip syncing is bad. However, I don’t really seem to mind much.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, was there singing?

WCS

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Wakezilla

Hear me out:

Shakira does an hour-long show and we go straight to penalties instead

Game Time Decision

Can’t believe she’s 47,and yes 45 minutes of a show plus stoppage time sounds better than the game

Redshirt

Is “penalties” new, hip slang for mast… oh, its a soccer thing. Nevermind.

Wakezilla

Watching the game on mute: Did they say anything about Messi? The way he’s walking, I’m guessing it’s a groin issue

Mr. Ayo

More like a “growing” issue. Although Lowratio is still impressed.

LemonJello

Do they have NFL quality pain killers in the Copa, or do they just rely on the tried and true “Peruvian Marching Powder” to treat injuries?

WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Another night, another assassination attempt. RIP Messi.

Horatio Cornblower

Messi dead?

rockingdog

Oh nooo!
Messi looks injured?!?!

That doesn’t seem rocking…

Wakezilla

So, what’s the name of the woman in the thread’s image?

ArmedandHammered

Marika.

Wakezilla

Damn woke society. Why don’t we have her doing her thing in North America? I’d take her over the crap we have here

rockingdog

Marika has some nice Marakas
lol

rockingdog

Also good to see all those Columbia fans that are Rocking!

That’s Rockinggggg! ⚽️

rockingdog

Found a funny:

friend: is this a real dinner party or are you acting out another movie fantasy

me: *picks up ornate box* I suppose you’re all wondering why I gathered you here tonight

blaxabbath

There’s no way Corey Comperatore’s wife is gonna let him pick the seats again at her next Anti-America rally.

Redshirt

Jesus: “He is a firefighter, he put down his life for his loved ones, plus he was saved so technically my blood paid the price for his sins.”

God: “Okay, fine! He’s in! We’re set up some work-release, community service thing. I’m sure Satan has some things that need sharpened in Hell. Just keep him away from Me, those people really creep me out!”

Brick Meathook
LemonJello

I was expecting more, uh, Germanic names on the Argentine roster.

ArmedandHammered

Well, not all names have to be strongly ethnic, Mr. Klaus Knotanazi. Maybe those are their travel names, you know to protect them.

ArmedandHammered

Please take that in a joking manner.

LemonJello

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Brick Meathook

I think the Colombian anthem was the theme music to a 1960s spaghetti western.

scotchnaut

[squints at you before he got super famous]

-C. Eastwood

rockingdog

Yea it’s kinda Rocking!

Mr. Ayo

Shakira has to be so mad right now. She should be shaking her hips and doing the halftime show now instead of listening to these 2nd rate singers do the anthems.

Don T

A Copa América final, presented by Aspergers’ Visuals & Lighting

ArmedandHammered

Give that camera man a raise!

LemonJello

Better open up those beer lines in Miami, those fans look thirsty. Besides, what could go wrong?

Redshirt

All this talk for kumbaya from President Grandpa and everyone else is nice, but its pointless until we hear from Trump.

Unsurprised

In case you were wondering about that Forbes article. Here’s an archived version – https://archive.ph/Gu5Bo

BeefReeferLives

Hey, thanks for the link!!

Having read that:

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Redshirt

“Can’t be that bad…”

(clicks link)

NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. SO MUCH NOPE. (youtube.com)

Brick Meathook

That Fox studio crew really needs someone to dress them. They look like they got their wardrobes at what’s left of Sears.

ArmedandHammered

All of them have something that is purple on them or wearing.

Mr. Ayo

Agreed. Although Carli needs someone to undress her.

I’m available, of course.

Don T

And Uruguayans were branded as troublesome 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
THIS WORKS EVERY WAY

Mr. Ayo

Guys, I’m starting to think the USA doesn’t know how to host a soccer game, much less a tournament.

Can’t wait for the World Cup!

Unsurprised

The U.S. couldn’t host a parasite.

Unsurprised

Oh, wait. I meant besides FIFA.

ArmedandHammered

We have lots of parasites – the MAGA asshats in congress, insurance companies, oil companies,…

Brick Meathook

Oil companies are awesome.

Brick Meathook

No, the problem is MIAMI

Mr. Ayo

Another half hour? lol. Just play it tomorrow.

rockingdog

They’re really delaying Kickoff for this Columbia vs Argentina game?!?!

Boooooo!
That’s not Rocking!

ArmedandHammered

The design of your avatar is interesting, someone just took a capital A and added a tail, two arms, and the head, but the result is really Rocking!!!!

Brick Meathook

It’s Poochie

ArmedandHammered

I know that, I just remarked on the design because it suddenly stood out to me.

Redshirt

Mock Draft Idea: Scenes Where Actors Who Took the Bad Crap Seriously or Whose Performance Was Way Too Good for the Film or TV Show

Examples:

Sylvester Stallone in Guardians of the Galaxy 2 when confronting Yondu for exhaling him.
Mickey Rourke in Expendables when he was telling the story of the young girl on the ledge.
Patrick Stewart in Star Trek: The Next Generation “Sarek” when overwhelmed with Sarek’s repressed emotions (and somehow pulling off overacting).

ArmedandHammered

Which of the new Who generation of Dr.’s shall we start with?

Redshirt

Hoo boy. Touch choice. I’m going with Peter Capaldi.

Peter Capaldi’s version of the Doctor worked because it was the closest we got to the real doctor. The kayfabe was broken, the gimmicks were taken away, and we got a glimpse of a tired, old man whose is struggling to keep running for fear of not only if the Universe would need him to keep running or for fear of his feelings and regrets catching up with himself.

As for which ones…

Honorable Mentions…

“Face the Raven” – Capaldi threatening Me to save Clara. Seeing the Doctor act out of pure rage is hard to do but Capaldi pulls it off. Which leads us to…

“Heaven Sent” – Capaldi all but carries an episode himself causing it to be on this page, but I’ll go with “Why Can’t I Lose?!”. “Breaking the Wall” is a great moment but it isn’t a speech but mostly an Episode Climax.

“The Doctor Falls” – “Where I Fall” Speech to Master and Missy. Like a Mission Statement of who he is and begging his friend(s) to stand with his just this once, though he knows its against their nature.

My choice…

Zygon Invasion, where he goes from desperation, rage, regret and despair all at once. We saw the War Doctor before and Ten and Eleven interact, but we never got to see what War did. While Twelve doesn’t say what he did, we see the result. A man who hates himself for what he’s became. The Old Doctors One through Eight was different than the New Doctors Nine through Fifteen, and though him talking about the Time War we can see way. Almost like he’s ripping off the scab and pouring out all his sins for all to see.

The Doctor’s Speech | The Zygon Inversion | Doctor Who (youtube.com)

Horatio Cornblower

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Senor Weaselo

For Raul Julia, it was his last great performance. But for everyone else, it was Tuesday.

Redshirt

I’m clicking +1, but you know I mean this.

M. Bison “Of Course!” HD Edition (youtube.com)

Wakezilla

Sud American finals update: All gates closed due to the rushing of fans into the stadium, causing extremely concerning congestion.

ArmedandHammered

Who would’ve guessed.

LemonJello

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Wakezilla

I’ve been saying since experiencing Qatar that North America needs to adopt their methods for fans entering the stadium. Qatar is quicker and more thorough at the same time.

Horatio Cornblower

Well yeah; rush the gate there and they’ll cut your feet off.

Brick Meathook

I’m watching one hell of a movie you’ve never heard of.

It’s called Hank Williams: The Show He Never Gave (1980).

I first saw years ago on TV in Vancouver when I was working up there. The plot is Hank Williams last night alive when he was being driven overnight on New Years Eve to a concert in Ohio; in the film he imagines giving a small show in one of the roadhouse bars he passes along the way.

It’s an astonishing motion picture. It’s currently free on Amazon Prime.

Senor Weaselo

We call that the Clemente!
/Too soon?

blaxabbath

I’m flying to Detroit.

/Tim Allen Grunt

Brick Meathook

Get some pizza at Buddy’s.

blaxabbath

Oh I’m sure there will be little actually seeming to be anywhere other than a bland conference room for two days.

Surely the catered box lunches will be “sandwiches” or “wraps”.

Brick Meathook

Ask for Coney Islands from Lafayette delivered.

scotchnaut

Don’t forget to rat on your cocaine supplier in exchange for a reduced sentence!

Redshirt

Tell Murphy he still owes me a hand. He’ll know what I mean.

yeah right

Eldest granddaughter is in Chicago getting ready to board her flight to Madrid.

I told her to try and get a deep dish from Lou’s before she left but she didn’t get a chance.

She’s such a sweetheart, she said she’ll text me right before takeoff because she’s going to be using a burner phone in Spain.

Love that kid.

Last edited 4 months ago by yeah right
yeah right

I’m in tears over here. She’s amazing.

Doktor Zymm

Hope she has a great trip! Lots of amazing food to eat in Spain

yeah right

I’m so envious. She’s 19 and traveling to Spain solo.

I’m getting the whole family into the world travel thing. Hopefully motivating them to move when I move.

That would be perfect.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

a presidential candidate gets shot and the next day your granddaughter leaves the country and will be communicating via burner phone okay totally sounds legit

Last edited 4 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
scotchnaut

she’s going to be using a burner phone in Spain

Kids. They grow up and join the CIA so fast. [wipes away a tear]

Unsurprised

Spain was amazing. I have to go back

yeah right

I need to spend a LOT more time there than last trip.

Wakezilla

Dani Olmo on Harry Kane’s trophy curse:

“I kept Harry Kane’s trophy curse going in Germany, and I’m not done yet.”

Savage

scotchnaut

“We Are The Runners-Up My Friend, And We’ll Keep On Trying…Forever. We Are The Runners Up, We Are The Runners Up…Till The End.”

-England

ArmedandHammered

Would not want to be the English manager, the shit storm will be huge and the headlines will be fantastic.

Brick Meathook

When I was in London one thing I noticed is that the British press is ten times nastier than American news media, as bad as that is. Then go to Canada and it’s so sane and subdued it puts you to sleep.

Doktor Zymm

They manage to be nastier but also less depressing and wittier, I’m a fan of the British press

Wakezilla

Not NHL media. They’re out of their fucking minds

scotchnaut

You mean, ‘somewhat normal’, do ya now?

Wakezilla

As a Man United fan who knows how this season is about to turn out for us, I really need the FA to extend Southgate another year.

Mr. Ayo

Love that they make the losers hang around so they can get their loser medals hung around their neck.

Redshirt

It better when they expected the win and have to stand there watching the underdogs celebrate with their championship trophy while slowly dying a little inside.

ArmedandHammered

Certainly you can empathize with them, being a Bengal’s fan and all?

Doktor Zymm

Bengal’s fans don’t expect to win ever, do they?

ArmedandHammered

They do, they have hope that this time will be different and it never is. Fandom can be so cruel.

Redshirt

Honestly, we’re still getting used to ending up in a bracket.

Brick Meathook

I’ve never been here but they say it’s good:

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Brick Meathook

This is out in the valley:

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yeah right

Is that the one on Prarie in Inglewood?

I’ve never tried it but some of my employees have it in their regular lunch rotation.

Brick Meathook

Woody’s? Yes, Prairie in Inglewood.

Brick Meathook

Here’s pulled pork in South Bay:

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scotchnaut

That skinny burrito on the right looks great!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thank goodness this wasn’t a picture of you pulling your own pork in the south bay

BeefReeferLives

Oooo. Lookit that orange grease!

That’s how you know it’s good.