First off all, a huge THANK YOU to Dok for fixing the Clone function! You can call it laziness. I prefer to call it efficiency. Either way, I can now crank these out and be ahead of the game.
While Hippo may choose to ignore this year’s tournament to be held in the USA, México, and Canadá for purely spiteful reasons (no judgement here, we salute spite!), I maintain that international competitions like the just concluded Olympics and the World Cup are the last opportunities for people to get out of their bubbles and realize there is a beautiful world out there full of people that don’t let politics get in the way of enjoying their lives.
With that said, let’s start our group previews, shall we? A heads up: I will not be going in alphabetical order. I will tackle first the groups that have been already defined as there are still some intercontinental qualifications games to be played.
Tonight’s group is Group L!
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Team Comparison
| Team | Rank | Been? | Cool? |
| England | 4 | ✓ | ✓ |
| Croatia | 11 | ✓ | ✓ |
| Ghana | 72 | X | ? |
| Panamá | 33 | X | ✓ |
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Group Schedule
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Best picture that I found on the first page of Google Image Search using “Hot [country] babes” as a search term
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Actual Sport Preview
England
Forever the bridesmaid, never the bride except for 1966 and God knows that 1966 will be referenced a million times during their games. Will be one of the favourites to win the whole thing, which is the kids of death for them. They do not handle pressure well.
Their fans are delightful if you enjoy pasty white men getting obliterated drunk while making asses of themselves and starting fights. The team should breeze through the group stage after the tough first game against Croatia. Please note the word “should” is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
Croatia
Luka Modric and Mike Gundy have something in common besides having never won a World Cup. Yup, Father Time waits for no man. This will be his last World Cup and he wants to end on a high note. The team has been the best it has ever been with him as Captain, but the question remains whether the rest of the team can pick up the slack for the Old Man.
If you get a chance, you should head down to Yeah Right’s hometown of San Pedro for one of their games. There is a LARGE Croatian population down in Pedro and I’m sure fireworks will be ignited when Croatia wins a game. Among other things…
Ghana
Ghana qualified easily by winning almost every one of their games in the African Qualifiers. The Black Stars are back in the World Cup for the fifth time and have improved greatly under coach Otto Addo, who is the only person to have ever played for and coached the Black Stars.
Their most famous World Cup game was the one where Uruguay beat them when Luis Suarez played goalie and Ghana missed the ensuing penalty kick. That would have gotten them into the semi-final.
Panamá
Panamá took full advantage of CONCACAF getting additional spots in the tourney and having the three host nations get in without having to qualify. That’s not to say they suck. They’re actually ranked higher than Ghana and are a tough team. They have done really well in recent Gold Cups.
Their coach is Thomas Christiansen, who previously coached at Leeds. This is their second World Cup ever after Russia in 2018. They are underdogs, but they are scrappy. I could see them pulling off an upset or two if other teams treat them lightly.
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Predicted Group Finish
- England
- Croatia
- Ghana
- Panamá
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Things to look forward to in the Group Stage
- The O/U in the number of flights leading to arrests in the England-Croatia game to be played at the JerryDome in Dallas is 37
- The Spanish broadcasters calling Panamá the Canaleros and no one understanding what it means and why it’s slightly dirty.
- Someone, anyone, making the “Ghana juega con ganas” pun on Spanish TV. I will also take “¡Ghana gana!”
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Final Thoughts
It would be SO MUCH FUN for England to crash out at the group stage but, alas, we touch ourselves too much and can’t have nice things. Of all the groups, I think this one has the potential for the most surprises. Ghana and Panamá are no pushovers. I could see Croatia and England either tying or losing a game to either side and qualification to the knock out stage getting complicated.
Is he still talking?
I just ate a few Sponch( es). Soooo sweet, I’m pretty sure I’ve got the Triabeetus. But worth it!
I’m eating multiple In-N-Out burgers!
A Double- Double Double- Double? Whew, I’m dizzy!
https://youtu.be/eGELjc66kFs?si=u7fB20-3i4PdYczO
So the whole premise of this movie is Denzel knows a guy who loses his pension, $366,400, to cyber hackers.
Denzel tracks them down, breaks into their cash room, which contains millions of dollars, kills everybody, then gets involved with a Mafiosi drug cartel, kills all of them, the anonymously returns the guy’s exact pension amount, $366,400, to him.
Denzel, if you went to all that trouble maybe, I don’t know, grab an extra backpack in the cash house and triple the guy up. You’re there anyway.
Also, I didn’t realize they made 3 of those movies.
He’s 71 maybe it’s time to stop equalizing.
Never too late to run for Senate!
He’s too young
I fucking hate Turbo Tax so much
When Mrs. Horatio started doing real estate we started using an accountant and I’ve never regretted it.
Except right now, when I’m realizing I need to get my shit together.
Hard same. It’s worth the hit to the refund.
lol ‘refund’
Hey Boss, people are saying our product doesnt do anything and that they should be able to file their taxes for free!
“Add 1400% more dialog boxes, and put a progress bar after each one to make it look like the software is thinking real hard!”
The issue seems to be because I bought a gold etf in January (should have bought more, Trump has been even more of a shitshow than I anticipated). They do some weird accounting thing each month where they end up giving me a few cents even though I didn’t sell anything, and it goes down as a securities sale on my 1099 but without a cost basis or acquisition date, since I’m not actually selling anything. Turbotax apparently can’t deal with this, so I have to go through and add zeros even though it doesn’t change a damn thing because this is all a big fuss over $8 in ‘profit’ because of the way the fund does their accounting
I need to go back to doing this shit by hand, it’s not all that difficult and is far less infuriating
And to top it all off I just noticed I need to renew my drivers license this year.
Filled out the online form, signed up for the online ‘learning’ course, and got an appointment that’s only 3 weeks in the future. I’m just doing all sorts of annoying productive shit tonight!
Oh shit that reminds me…
Great review with the ladies providing needed perspective.
Good to see the healthy women of Panama. Ain’t no waif models.
The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Are Serial Killer Cannibals ad is certainly an approach to marketing.
I ate pizza last night with onions and meatballs, and what I produced today made toxic waste look like mother’s milk.
Draft topics! Pizza toppings, must pick 3!
Goin’ on the list.
(Scotchy loads “Hobo flesh” into a blank doc and copies it, waiting all night for the post to publish so he can PASTE/POST COMMENT first)
What’s fun about Spring Training is that thanks to split-squad games, the Angels can lose to two different teams on the same day. Take that, regular season!
Efficiency!
Is the trout injured already?
Not yet, but we still got all of March.
The Bucs lost to the evil Yankees today. They’re already mathematically eliminated, I’m pretty sure.
If you want sprots tonite, Trojans @ Bruins at 8:00 best coast time on FS1. Big game for bubble purposes, especially for the hated Trojans.
And #2 Arizona Fightin Blaxes are losing at the Waco Baptists on ESPN2.
But my TV is staying silent-but-deadly for the next hour or so.
“But my TV is staying silent-but-deadly for the next hour or so.”
Kinda the same here. I’m watching an old football game on the DVR and circling back on social media every once in a while, looking for the phrase “shit his pants”
I’m watching The Equalizer 3, where an evil guy who’s used to getting his own way gets a brutal comeuppance.
No reason.
Thanks for the heads up; that will give me something to put on in the hotel gym.
Cats look tired. Dulldrums of the season.
Had done real well in injuries until last couple weeks. Guys are hurt plus showing up on IR die illnesses.
That last sentence sounds like a spilled Mai Tai.
This is a SOCCER preview Open Thread, damnit! No more SOTU talk!!
The FIFA World Cup? FIFA. who gave Trump a Peace Prize? Sorry, man, this shit is everywhere like herpes. No escaping it.
Hey, I’m from Ohio and this is an Election Year! If I must suffer, so shall you all!
How about the upcoming Pittsburgh Steelers offseason?
I’m sorry, that was low. Even for me.
I am very happy to discuss impending disasters
It’s kind of early for my Bengals Season preview. Check back in August.
Stillers with Bucky in charge:
*FOOTBALL
Should I recycle one of my sexy stories from the last set of World Cup previews?
Oh wait, that was eight years ago. Man, time flies.
YES!
Actually, the missing column is “Has RTD hooked up with one of their women?”
Just England for this group. I don’t think I’ve ever even met any women from any of the other countries.
.
Al Green got ejected again. This is becoming an unexpected tradition.
The caucus should say
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXx6RDzR6eM&list=RDXXx6RDzR6eM&start_radio=1&pp=ygUIYWwgZ3JlZW6gBwE%3D
For espousing the radical, DEI, notion that Black people are not apes, apparently…
I mean, he can’t actually SAY that, can he?
Not around Steve Scalise he can’t.
He does have a point. We’re distant evolutionary cousins of chimpanzees. If you’re going to insult an entire race with racist bullshit, you should at least be accurate.
🇺🇸
“Oh is that what Nancy looks like from the front? I’m used to only seeing the top of her head.” – anyone who was a Hollywood player in the 1970’s
She’s forgotten more about blowjobs than most people ever knew.
She’s the 2nd best forgetter in her household!
Recently read a book ‘Wars of the Roosevelts’ where it’s made pretty clear Eleanor swung from both sides of the plate.
God bless her.
She truly was a Tennessee Valley Authority, if you catch my drift.
I do not. No sir, not at all. No, no, please; do not explain further.
Okay, when a woman loves another woman or has a glass of wine around her aggressive friend whose husband is out of town or
Also dude the US Women’s Hockey Team is gonna go to Vegas to party with Flavor Flav!
That’s Rockingggg!!!!
👏💯🎉
What’s the O/U on chances of Trump having a stroke tonight per DraftKings?
SOTU?
STFU.
🏎️ 🌈 🤲
Found a funny:
Trump won’t recognize the Epstein victims in the crowd tonight. He hasn’t seen them since they were 14
England vs Croatia! ⚽️
That sounds Rockingggg!
I was in England for the WC final 8 years ago (France-Croatia), and made 20 pounds on the game at one of the many fine betting parlors there.
Don’t worry, I spent the money on ale.
English footballer George Best: “I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”
(“birds” means women in Cockney)
I’d only watch because the longer Trump speaks, the more chance he has to shit his pants on live TV. …well, again, but this time in a setting that he can’t control or tell everyone to leave.
I just can’t, but I’ll keep one eye on the interwebs for any lolz or deathcollapse (which would also bring lolz).
Someone on Bluesky invoked R. Budd Dwyer, but the flaccid fuck would miss and shoot either Vance or Mike Johnson, and I guess that’s fine too.
Only way I’m paying attention is whatever shows up on here.
Why would you watch? He’s just gonna lie and say things to piss you off. It’s like deliberately trying to send your blood pressure to Strokeville. Besides, if the speech gets great ratings that asshole will brag about it, even of 65% of people are watching hoping he’ll either die, shit himself, or both on live TV.
Which is tempting, but the better option is