Preb Owl – We’ve Only Just Begun…

King Hippo - February 12, 2023February 12, 2023

156

It seems the Carpentering shall fall to Hippo. Leeds and Man U (the football squadron, not the uni-themed "twink and bear" porn series) are currently nil-nil on USA. Angry Pep will put on his live action snuff film next (11:30, also USA). I hear tell there are puppy and kitty Owls,

Hate Week Lesser Footy Morning Thread

King Hippo - February 11, 2023February 9, 2023

I hate pretty much everything. Which means every day is Hate Week, if you's a Hippo. Which is pretty fortunate, since hate 100% makes the world go 'round. So every day should feel like Christmas, then! But then again, I HATE Christmas too. But nothing fuels Hippo's personal bile furnace like Satan's

Crossing Streams – DFO’s Donks (Woo?) Homers Discuss Sean Payton

King Hippo - February 4, 2023February 3, 2023

103

Good Saturday evening, all y'all. Just because we are in the sportsball desert does not mean there ain't no sportsball NOOZ! Facing a two strike (Ryans, Harbaugh) count, the Wal-Mart + Condi braintrust decided to go "all in" with the former Saints coach. A discussion on our homer-ish feelings follows. KH: First

Total Recall – Revisiting Footy at the Half-ish-way Point

King Hippo - February 4, 2023February 3, 2023

Hippo is still too angry to see straight. But good news (if not an Evertonian) - footy is back this weekend. Bad news? The fixture slate sucks hobo asshole. At least until tomorrow's Spotlight Dance (Spurs v. City, 11:30, NBC). So, let us look back upon what has happened to date,

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Conference Shempionships, 2022 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - January 30, 2023January 29, 2023

It took me all late game to figure it out, but finally it hit like a bolt out of the blue. Big Narrative wanted Andy Reid to face the Iggles. So obvious in retrospect, but I guess I dumbly thought Burrow and the 'KRP crew were an excellent story, and would

A Very Wrexham Wrevanchist Morning

King Hippo - January 29, 2023January 29, 2023

As y'all no doubt know, the mighty Wrexham (having made it a round deeper in the FA Cup than Piss Off You're Scaring the Children Everton) host Team Knifey today (11:00, ESPN+). They even were kind enough to schedule it in a West Coast-friendly way. I asked the Clubhouse's #1

Saturday Night In Purgatory – What is a Sport?

Open Threads

King Hippo - January 28, 2023January 27, 2023

172

In the Politburo back rooms, we had this mini-discussion, and I figured - why not throw it out there for Clubhouse discussion? We are being phased into the sportsball desert - two great Conference title battles tomorrow, but fuckall today. The Endless Void is coming, and right soon. There are other

Everton Football Club, Burned Down to the Ground

King Hippo - January 28, 2023January 27, 2023

106

All good things must come to an end. Frank Lampard saved Everton from itself in 2021-22, but had no answers for this season. Still, he was an honest and decent professional, with modern management ideals. He knew Everton needed to get with the times, press more, control the ball, get

Instant Hippo Thoughts – 2022 Season, Divisional Round

Reflections

King Hippo - January 23, 2023January 22, 2023

I suppose nothing qualified as bananacakes, but hey - except for the Saturday late show, it was compelling viewing. At least for me. Good news for Kansas City - y'all get to host the AFC Title match after all! Bad news, you might have to start Chad Henne. Good luck finding

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Mega Uber-Duper Wild Card Round

Reflections

King Hippo - January 16, 2023January 15, 2023

Oh my cats, did we ever see some shit, y'all. Credit to sharky for finding this perfect banner pic, to summarize Saturday night. Can't complain about 5-for-5 entertaining games this opening weekend. Hopefully, that ball keeps on rolling. We opened Sunday with Brokeback's Bills, seemingly ready to skullfuck the LOLfins' practice squad.

Post Self-Justification Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - January 14, 2023January 13, 2023

104

Every January, to my great discomfort, I am summoned to justify my continued existence within the law firm. It's like somebody decided, "hey, we don't think Hippo focuses enough on his self-hatred and feelings of personal and professional failure - let's stare at him and make him do a little

Celebrating Afrikan-American Monday with the Bloodeyes Gang!

King Hippo - January 9, 2023January 9, 2023

166

Tonight, we crown a JV NFL shempion. Neither side is even evil, which makes for a nice change of paces. All in on the Bloodeyes, of course. Because HAIL ENTROPY (and the Hypnotoad). But first, some items of note. The Producers-ish 500s front office fired the first A-AM shot, firing Hobo