Mother pus bucket...this is what I have to deal with? Jesus, the phrase is "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." You're handing me two raisins and expecting me to make wine. Two little wizened raisins, like Favre-testicle raisins. No one wants BrittFar Testicle Wine. No one's going to read
Tag: Reverend Mayhem
Commentist Beer Barrel: Homebrew Edition
Ahoy-hoy, fellow beer coneseu connisor enthusiasts! Make it Snow is out again this week, presumably hiding from (or fleecing) the locust-like hordes of street musicians descending upon Austin. Keep playing that utterly-cliche-acoustic-guitar-ballad, young Rian; you're sure to land a record contract some day! Brettfavrescolonoscopy, in turn, provided perhaps the most Zen
CrimeBeat!: Meth-Smoking Clown Arrested at Waffle House
Welcome again, imaginary Internet friends! Ohhh men. MEN! The offseason blotter is finally heating up, and CrimeBeat! is here with as many of the sphincter-clenching reality-bombs about the men behind the game we love as I feel like typing about while avoiding work. Joseph Randle got arrested again, but it
CrimeBeat!: For Whom The Bell-End Tolls
CrimeBeat!: Seriously, What the S**t, Joseph Randle?
It's C-c-c-c-c-c-Combine Week, bitches! So far, no one has gotten arrested or been struck by divine enlightenment in Indy, but it's early, so *fingers crossed*. In more conventional bad behavior: Joseph Randle CHARGE: What, do I have all day for this? Ok, so he doesn't fit quite so comfortably into the "Current Player" category
CrimeBeat!: Who Took My Slippers!
It's our second edition of CrimeBeat!, the Local Ace Award Winning series. It's been a relatively quiet week in terms of bad behavior by current NFL players, which is somewhat shocking given that St. Valentine's Day is often a particularly troublesome night on the domestic front. Former NFL players are getting
DFO Crime Beat!: It’s Always Stompy In Philadelphia
Welcome to the emotionally-barren frigid wasteland that is the NFL Off-Season. While we will try to fill the void with obsessive draft coverage ("He's got tight hips! He'll never make it as a cornerback!"), dick jokes, methadone sports (hockey, AFL, based-ball) and intoxicants, we can't ignore the other hallowed off-season
AWWWOOOOOOOOO
Commentist Beer Barrel: Viewers’ Choice Edition
Greetings, fellow drunkies! I was originally going to post the results from my Halloween Oktoberfest Tasting, but the notes from the evening are predictably jumbled and nonsensical. For example: BFT [Best Friend Tabitha]: Ayinger was smooth, like an old woman. So instead, I'm going to move in another direction: home brewing. Seeing
Waiting For Godot: Your Baffling Buffalo Bills Bye Brief
House MD DFW
[Interior- Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Scene opens on DOCTOR HOUSE sitting in his oddly-stylish and expensively furnished office, playing with his giant tennis ball thing. Enter DOCTOR WILSON] WILSON: Good morning, House. I hope you slept well. HOUSE: [Gruff, insulting but humorous reply]. WILSON: At least one of us is. I have a