TURDSDAY NIGHT FOOT FETISH

Well, here it is. Our favorite greatest coach ever gets his shot as the new(ish) head man of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills visit Met Life Stadium at 4-4 (2-1) against a surprisingly competent Jets team, who is 5-3 (3-1). I’m not sure I’m comfortable with living in a world where the Jets aren’t hilariously DERPy, but it appears that might be the case.

There’s been a bazillion and nine things already written about this, so I won’t really say too much. I think this game could be entertaining and fun. The Jets, behind Fitzpatrick (insert HAHHVAHHD joke here) and Chris Ivory have managed to move the ball well (and score lots of fantasy points for me in Sill’s Insanity League). Their defense is real. Todd Bowles deserves a lot of credit for having this team actually doing things right. The Bills haven’t been necessarily terrific, and when the lose, they fucking lose. That hasn’t stopped Bills fans from continuing to be the most insane fanbase in the NFL. When did this happen, by the way? Every week, Deadspin has another article on Monday, showcasing continued crezzy behavior from Bills fans. Is this something I was just never aware of? Philadelphia fans, Oakland fans, Washington fans? Yeah, we know those people are fucking nuts. But, Buffalo? Okay, sure, I guess?

Anyway, while it should be a fun and entertaining AFC East game-for-who-gets-finish-not-quite-as-far-behind-New-England, it’s still a Thursday night game, so it will be just terrible. It’s what we deserve. At least Buffalo still has pride!

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*Credit to Commentist Entrophy for that magnificent which absolutely deserves more recognition.

Additionally, in the JV footed ball, we have the Battle of the Techs, which is one the most ACC-things possible on the TWWL. The Virginia Tech Castrated Turkeys travel to Atlanta to play the Georgia Tech Yellowjackets. Normally, I love college football night games. Hell, I make time for weekly #MACtion. But, seriously, fuck this game. Fuck Virginia Tech. Fuck Frank Beamer and his weird neck growth. I can’t really say anything about Georgia Tech. They’re a big letdown from last year, I guess? Who cares. The ACC is the AFC South of college football. For some reason, people think they deserve a spot at the big-boy table.

There’s probably hawkey and NBA on somewhere, too.

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Smithchez

At least only FUCKING EIGHT OF YOU had a chance to tackle him.

Senor Weaselo

Yes, but it is the Jets.

King Hippo

thank Jeebus we have a whole ‘nuther half of this to look forward to

entropy

Things I never thought I’d say:

I am so, so glad I don’t have whiskey right now.

Doktor Zymm

I’ll drink one more for you. Also because I want one more.

Doktor Zymm

http://www.candywarehouse.com/assets/item/large/red-and-green-haribo-gummi-bears-132884-im.jpg

This is either a neutral zone violation, or they’re confused about which side to line up on.

Sill Bimmons

Gummi Bears have a reputation for being uncoachable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Recovery Whiskey

I’ll never drop acid at Grandmas again

Recovery Whiskey

Greg Roman was the focal point of Niners fans hate

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Interesting, I would have thought San Francisco residents would be more supportive of Roman’s offensive indulgences.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

LIKE IT’S YOUR PRIVATE PRE-SCREENED SKANK PARTY, LESEAN!

entropy

I think I was twelve when I invented the artificial dog heart.

Sill Bimmons

That’s a University Of Pittsburgh product right there.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

GASH THOSE GASHES!

Recovery Whiskey

The Bills bench engaging in some timely counted cross-stich

Sill Bimmons

Who is she?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Everyone shame Sill

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
blordinaryfagicmox

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Gratliff

Is that Clara with blonde hair?

entropy

Why even bother with punt returns? Just give the receiving team the ball ten years behind the spot of the catch because EVERYONE fucks up on punting special teams.

Recovery Whiskey

They certainly are setting the game back ten yeara

Doktor Zymm

At the very least, change “illegal block in the back” to “illegal block in the ass” so we can all have a giggle.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Wait, what?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

FUCK YO COUCH, BOWLES

Doktor Zymm

Hasn’t that couch been through enough already?

blordinaryfagicmox
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bukkake?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This game is making me identify with another version of Max

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Sill Bimmons

JESSE PINKMAN HAWKIN MOBILE DATA THE ONLY THING MOAR ADDICTIVE THAN METH

Smithchez

I’m sure there’s no possible way Rex will come to regret being out of challenges before halftime.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it me or does the Geico Gecko’s voice sound different?

Senor Weaselo

No, you’re absolutely right. Same with the Honey Nut Cheerios bee.

Recovery Whiskey

Sounds like a new actor

This game, where challenges for a 7 yard completion in the 2nd quarter are legitimately useful.

King Hippo

Wow, how the fuck you miss THAT??

entropy

Holy shit. That is VILE.

Doktor Zymm

It’s like if a psychopath did a half and half jersey for this game.

Recovery Whiskey

Holy shit thats amazing and horrid.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Nopenopenope

Sill Bimmons

haley’d

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Remember when Veterans’ Day was Armistice Day, and actually stood for an event rather than being a jingoistic fetishization of all things military in order to feed the ever-growing MIC?

Sill Bimmons

you old bro

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You going all Breakfast of Champions on us?

Moonbatting Average

I’m pushing 40 and I can’t remember anything that didn’t push the ever-growing MIC

Beastmode Ate My Baby

There was a time of reflection after Viet Nam, when there were some people that went, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t be mindlessly building a military for no reason.”

Then, Reagan.

Moonbatting Average

I feel like a special teams play was the only way a touchdown could be scored in this game

Sill Bimmons

There will also be a pick six at some point.

entropy

The Jets replace one fumble machine with another. LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I ever need to explain “The Aristocrats” joke to someone who doesn’t speak any English, I’m just going to show them a tape of this game.

Sill Bimmons

I really do wonder what it’s like to behold the wonders of the universe and think that it was made by a space daddy in six days 6000 years ago.

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entropy

I figure it’s like watching an episode of “Star Trek” after somebody whacks you in the temple with a rubber mallet.

blordinaryfagicmox

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King Hippo

Not sure which team wants to lose the most, but I truly appreciate the effort.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Why was he kicking from the hashmark?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

IT’S 9-3 YOU IDIOIT!!!

JESUS THE INCOMPETENCE IS CONTAGIOUS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Pussy v. Cock: WHO YA GOT?!?!

blackroseMD1

LOLBills

“Special” Teams

entropy

We’re spoiled for choices in that department.

Smithchez

He’s trying to live up to that Stephen Hill Jets-WR-drafted-in-the-2nd-round hype.

Recovery Whiskey

that was a fumble

Sill Bimmons

BILLS ST WOO

entropy

That was a nice shot of that cheerleader walking back from a pee break before the kick.

As far as I’m concerned nothing happened after.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’m gonna need fresh underwear

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit.

Smithchez

Well, fuck.

Gratliff

Jets. /takes a bow